Annette Naake

>I have a problem with the neighbor girl.

I have really enjoyed this discussion, first because the responses have been
realistic and not mean-spirited but sensitive, and second because I have
neighbor-kid problems in my neighborhood too -- kids that turn up
constantly, are too old for our kids, have to be told to go home at dinner,
wait in the driveway while we eat... aarrgh! And furthermore, of course, you
never see a parent. Not that you'd probably want to.

Anyway, my main rule is that kids I don't like can't come in the house. My
excuse is, "I just cleaned," or "I'm getting ready to clean." Second, if
anyone gets hurt, I just start telling the visitor (regretfully, as someone
already suggested) that they are too old to play with my kids. It can take a
dozen times of saying this, as apologetically as possible, before they give
up and quit coming over. If you are kind about it, I think they take you at
your word and don't get their feelings hurt.

Finally, I hold my kids responsible for their own behavior. If they get in
trouble by "following the crowd," then there are consequences. The fact that
other people act like idiots is no excuse for them to do so. I think you can
tell them, "Yes, I know Johnny's family lets him wander the neighborhood
alone, curse and play Nintendo all day. I'm sorry but in our family, we
don't do that."

Believe it or not, it works. I signed my ds up for a karate class when he
was 6. I soon discovered that many people consider karate to be a form of
therapy for little boys with discipline problems. I was worried my ds would
get nothing out of the class, or worse, be corrupted. I was wrong. He was
attentive despite the occasional ruckus around him and got a lot out of the
class.


Annette

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