Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: responsibility was:Limits/showering
coyote's corner
What is it you have to do that is so very important? We sometimes just soak the dishes.
My two older kids are adults. There are still dishes.
My son lives in Texas - I'm in RI - there is still house work. How many hours did I miss w/ my older kids because there was "work" to be done?
Janis
My two older kids are adults. There are still dishes.
My son lives in Texas - I'm in RI - there is still house work. How many hours did I miss w/ my older kids because there was "work" to be done?
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: Fetteroll
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, November 09, 2003 9:11 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: responsibility was:Limits/showering
on 11/9/03 8:04 PM, HMSL2@... at HMSL2@... wrote:
> I have read this a few times on the list. Each time I read it I feel as if it
> is some kind of head game. Like help me or we wont get out of here or hey we
> can sit here all day and do nothing unless I get help! Like punishment.
Like reality.
"If you help me with the dishes then we'll have time for a game before bed."
It's not a bribe or threat to get them to do something.
But if it's not the truth, then it shouldn't be said.
> Like help me or we wont get out of here
"If I have help doing this we'll get out of here on time. If not we'll be
late."
It's a choice. Maybe being late is okay with the kids! I thought it was a no
brainer that it's good to be early and bad to be late but my daughter said
she'd rather be late to a class than arrive early and have to wait around.
> hey we can sit here all day and do nothing unless I get help!
Not sure I understand that one.
Joyce
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
catherine aceto
We do this with clothes and it does seem to make life easier compared to some of my friends. Everyone in the house has about a week and a half's worth of clothes that they REALLY like -- nothing else in their drawers or closet. We also keep our laundry baskets on a metal utility shelf by the washer and drier, and sort the clothes each day as they go to the laundry. Then whenever a basket starts to look 1/2 full or so, it can be tipped into the washer, dried, and brought upstairs to be folded during some convenient point in the day (Lydia loves to help fold, and at 6 is actually helpful. Jonathan also loves to help, but at 1 is mostly undoing things and helping by providing amusement.) This system works so smoothly, it feels to me as if the laundry does itself, it makes so little demands on my life or time.
We do have more than one meal's worth of dishes, but we also have a dishwasher, which to my mind makes dishes a moot issue.
Ack, this is turning into the household advice column, but I will just also say that in terms of time management/household efficiency stuff, I love my crockpot. We cook vegetarian, so I can put on some kind of bean dish in the morning and dinner is done when dinner time rolls around. We also have an electric rice cooker -- put the rice in with water, turn it on, and go away until ready.
-Cat
Another thing with "have to" is that it often prevents us from seeing new
ways to accomplish something. If we see a tub full of dishes as an
inevitable consequence of cooking and eating, then it doesn't occur to us to
rethink the problem. But someone here said they only kept available enough
plates for a meal. That way they never had more than a few dishes to wash.
Most of us probably have too many clothes in circulation. If there aren't as
many clothes then laundry will be done more often but the sorting and
folding and returning won't be a huge chore.
(Those are just "out of the box" ways of viewing a couple of chores not
intended as suggestions for anyone to adopt.)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We do have more than one meal's worth of dishes, but we also have a dishwasher, which to my mind makes dishes a moot issue.
Ack, this is turning into the household advice column, but I will just also say that in terms of time management/household efficiency stuff, I love my crockpot. We cook vegetarian, so I can put on some kind of bean dish in the morning and dinner is done when dinner time rolls around. We also have an electric rice cooker -- put the rice in with water, turn it on, and go away until ready.
-Cat
Another thing with "have to" is that it often prevents us from seeing new
ways to accomplish something. If we see a tub full of dishes as an
inevitable consequence of cooking and eating, then it doesn't occur to us to
rethink the problem. But someone here said they only kept available enough
plates for a meal. That way they never had more than a few dishes to wash.
Most of us probably have too many clothes in circulation. If there aren't as
many clothes then laundry will be done more often but the sorting and
folding and returning won't be a huge chore.
(Those are just "out of the box" ways of viewing a couple of chores not
intended as suggestions for anyone to adopt.)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<It also says you aren't willing to try anything different>>
Actually, that isn't what it says at all. It says that I see there are
families where the kids like things organized and neat (my dh has been that
way since infancy) and I see that my family isn't like one of those. It
says I realize you can't see my family via the internet, you'll have to
trust me on that.
Julie S.
Actually, that isn't what it says at all. It says that I see there are
families where the kids like things organized and neat (my dh has been that
way since infancy) and I see that my family isn't like one of those. It
says I realize you can't see my family via the internet, you'll have to
trust me on that.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Fetteroll" <fetteroll@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2003 5:51 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: responsibility was:Limits/showering
> on 11/9/03 10:02 PM, J. Stauffer at jnjstau@... wrote:
>
> > Trust me, some people have kids who are more organized, like stuff put
> > away.......then there are my kids who are pack rats, like their stuff
out
> > all over the house "where they can see it good" <grin>, and are quite at
> > home just walking on top of whatever they have left in the floor.
>
> Usually when people say "trust me" it means "This is the situation I'm
stuck
> with and there's nothing I or anyone can do about it."
>
> It might be true that you've tried many different things, but announcing
it
> cuts off discussion where people could offer ideas. It also says you
aren't
> willing to try anything different. That's just not useful on a
*discussion*
> list! ;-)
>
> It's quite possible a number of people here have a houseful of
strewing-type
> kids who have ways to make the problem easier. If you say "trust
> me"-end-of-discussion then you won't hear those ways. Closing off
situations
> as unsolvable means a solution that could come to you will be turned away.
> Always being open, even if you feel you've scraped the barrel of your
> ability to solve a problem, means that solutions could wander in and find
> their way to you.
>
> Joyce
>
>
>
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