How would you handle this?
Elizabeth Roberts
OK here is a very frustrating situation for me. I babysit my best friend's two oldest children after their school day. Friend is a single mother of four, and unable to homeschool (Actually, there are ways she could I'm sure if she REALLY wanted to..INCLUDING having them homeschooled by me).
Oldest daughter is 13. Completely failing every single class. Only barely passed 6th grade last year. She will not do any homework; now that she is being "forced" into doing her homework (very reluctantly by me) by her mom she is rebelling by not turning the homework IN.
Mom has refused to let her be educated by me, in part because I'm a military spouse who will only be here in this state another 18 months. She doesn't see any benefit to even that length of time of a real education.
Child and I were out the other day running an errand, listening to NPR discussion on politics. Child made a comment showing that she WANTS to understand more about politics but knows very little at this point. Her 7th grade 'civics' class while only barely into the year only touches on politics (only mentioning Republicans and Democrats, nothing about other parties such as Libertarian). This class is very much into a world citizenship type thing rather than focusing on duties of American citizenship and how to fulfill them.
I would like to teach her more while I'm here and able to be an influence in her life. She's not yet at the point of self-determination to learn despite the government education she's receiving, instead she's given up on any learning at all.
While I would specifically like ideas on how to teach her more about our Constitution, the Declaration of Independence (besides simply reading them and discussing them), and further into our political system and current political events...I would just generally like to inspire her into becoming more of an autodidact.
(Yes, I've suggested to her mother to just let her fail if that's what she's going to do, etc. to no avail. Mother is very much at the academics is everything stage of thinking)....
SIGH...
Any ideas? I'm worried that if I don't DO SOMETHING this child is going to end up not only dropping out of school (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), but dropping out and never recovering from it (which WOULD be a bad thing).
Elizabeth in MA
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Oldest daughter is 13. Completely failing every single class. Only barely passed 6th grade last year. She will not do any homework; now that she is being "forced" into doing her homework (very reluctantly by me) by her mom she is rebelling by not turning the homework IN.
Mom has refused to let her be educated by me, in part because I'm a military spouse who will only be here in this state another 18 months. She doesn't see any benefit to even that length of time of a real education.
Child and I were out the other day running an errand, listening to NPR discussion on politics. Child made a comment showing that she WANTS to understand more about politics but knows very little at this point. Her 7th grade 'civics' class while only barely into the year only touches on politics (only mentioning Republicans and Democrats, nothing about other parties such as Libertarian). This class is very much into a world citizenship type thing rather than focusing on duties of American citizenship and how to fulfill them.
I would like to teach her more while I'm here and able to be an influence in her life. She's not yet at the point of self-determination to learn despite the government education she's receiving, instead she's given up on any learning at all.
While I would specifically like ideas on how to teach her more about our Constitution, the Declaration of Independence (besides simply reading them and discussing them), and further into our political system and current political events...I would just generally like to inspire her into becoming more of an autodidact.
(Yes, I've suggested to her mother to just let her fail if that's what she's going to do, etc. to no avail. Mother is very much at the academics is everything stage of thinking)....
SIGH...
Any ideas? I'm worried that if I don't DO SOMETHING this child is going to end up not only dropping out of school (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), but dropping out and never recovering from it (which WOULD be a bad thing).
Elizabeth in MA
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The Scanlons
Elizabeth,
Could you just have a heart-to-heart chat with her about how smart you can
see that she is, how independent (heck, to actually *do* the homework and
then not turn it in? I think that's kind of cool!) and what a great
homeschooler she would make? If you can get her to believe that she really
can still be in charge of her education, then she seems like she has the
moxy to follow through on it. The biggest thing you can instill in her is
the belief that she can. And, of course, you can teach her the internet and
how to find the information she wants and needs. I am not really a good
search enginer (engineer??) and, frankly, I miss out on a lot of good info.
For some reason, I haven't gotten it into my head. I still really prefer
books in my hot little hands.
Once she understands that she *can* influence her learning, then you can
discuss how school can damage that drive and ability. Explain that she
still has to go, but if she can just buckle down and get the required work
done, she can spend the rest of her time learning and doing what she wants.
Any chance her mom would see the missing logic of only having you for 18
months? Isn't that the equivalent of two full school years!? If the girl
is already near failing, hanging out with you for a year or so isn't going
to hurt things. If her mother buys this, then the changes she sees in her
daughter may convince her to continue. Of course, you still have to worry
about unexpected orders or illness or whatever other reasons might put an
end to your homeschooling her.
In the meantime, she would learn a valuable lesson in jumping through the
necessary hoops if you gave her LOTS of help with her homework. If you sit
down with her and practically do it for her...as long as she is
contributing, too.
A couple of history books (biography, literature) from the time period
preceding the American Revolution would help her to understand *why* the
Constitution was necessary and why it includes the things it includes.
You also must remember that the child is not yours (I know that grates on
some sensibilities, but it's a reality). Your efforts *are* going to be
undermined, consciously or unconsciously by Mom. If you can help this child
realize that grades are not the be-all and the end-all of who she is as a
person, you will have given her a great tool. Of course, she also needs to
realize that they are at least a little bit important *in the world in which
she lives*, so she has to do what she can to survive and thrive.
Any chance her school has a 1/2 day program of sorts? Lots of schools have
a vocational program. Or maybe she could load up on the necessary classes
in the morning and plan study halls in conjunction with lunch. Then she
could have a big block of time to either "come home and be homeschooled" or
do her own thing (like maybe the necessary homework just to shut people up)
during that time. I don't know how flexible the school is.
Good luck!
Sandy
Could you just have a heart-to-heart chat with her about how smart you can
see that she is, how independent (heck, to actually *do* the homework and
then not turn it in? I think that's kind of cool!) and what a great
homeschooler she would make? If you can get her to believe that she really
can still be in charge of her education, then she seems like she has the
moxy to follow through on it. The biggest thing you can instill in her is
the belief that she can. And, of course, you can teach her the internet and
how to find the information she wants and needs. I am not really a good
search enginer (engineer??) and, frankly, I miss out on a lot of good info.
For some reason, I haven't gotten it into my head. I still really prefer
books in my hot little hands.
Once she understands that she *can* influence her learning, then you can
discuss how school can damage that drive and ability. Explain that she
still has to go, but if she can just buckle down and get the required work
done, she can spend the rest of her time learning and doing what she wants.
Any chance her mom would see the missing logic of only having you for 18
months? Isn't that the equivalent of two full school years!? If the girl
is already near failing, hanging out with you for a year or so isn't going
to hurt things. If her mother buys this, then the changes she sees in her
daughter may convince her to continue. Of course, you still have to worry
about unexpected orders or illness or whatever other reasons might put an
end to your homeschooling her.
In the meantime, she would learn a valuable lesson in jumping through the
necessary hoops if you gave her LOTS of help with her homework. If you sit
down with her and practically do it for her...as long as she is
contributing, too.
A couple of history books (biography, literature) from the time period
preceding the American Revolution would help her to understand *why* the
Constitution was necessary and why it includes the things it includes.
You also must remember that the child is not yours (I know that grates on
some sensibilities, but it's a reality). Your efforts *are* going to be
undermined, consciously or unconsciously by Mom. If you can help this child
realize that grades are not the be-all and the end-all of who she is as a
person, you will have given her a great tool. Of course, she also needs to
realize that they are at least a little bit important *in the world in which
she lives*, so she has to do what she can to survive and thrive.
Any chance her school has a 1/2 day program of sorts? Lots of schools have
a vocational program. Or maybe she could load up on the necessary classes
in the morning and plan study halls in conjunction with lunch. Then she
could have a big block of time to either "come home and be homeschooled" or
do her own thing (like maybe the necessary homework just to shut people up)
during that time. I don't know how flexible the school is.
Good luck!
Sandy
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/8/03 1:24:29 AM, mamabethuscg@... writes:
<< While I would specifically like ideas on how to teach her more about our
Constitution, the Declaration of Independence (besides simply reading them and
discussing them), and further into our political system and current political
events...I would just generally like to inspire her into becoming more of an
autodidact. >>
Magazine subscriptions would be there when you weren't and last after you
were gone.
Sandra
<< While I would specifically like ideas on how to teach her more about our
Constitution, the Declaration of Independence (besides simply reading them and
discussing them), and further into our political system and current political
events...I would just generally like to inspire her into becoming more of an
autodidact. >>
Magazine subscriptions would be there when you weren't and last after you
were gone.
Sandra