intro and comment
[email protected]
Hi, I'm new to this list so thought I would lurk for a while, but found this
note by Susan in my first digest, and couldn't resist commenting :) Intro
first, though.
I've been unschooling 10 years this month; took my older two kids out of
school 2/3 of the way through 5th grade when the older was suicidally
depressed due to school experiences and the younger, though he had skipped
two years of school, was still grossly unchallenged. I knew no other hsers
but one family who did school at home, which I didn't feel would work in our
situation, but figured a tiny bit of structure would be needed. However, my
oldest son's intense need to deschool led directly to unschooling, and we
never looked back.
The boys are now very nearly 21 (2 weeks) and 18. The elder is in the Army,
has been since before he turned 18, and is doing very well. Getting him in
the Army was a challenge, as our Clonlara diploma was not recognized as
valid. But we got past that hurdle, then 6 weeks after Chris joined, my dh
retired from the Army, and we left TX to move onto our land in MI, where we
now have a small farm. The younger son left home a few weeks after his 18th
birthday to move *back* to TX :) where he's employed by an Internet ecommerce
company, and making a very nice salary along with 80 hour workweeks.
Personally, I hope he quits and finds something less stressful, but that's
what he wants for now :)
My youngest child is a girl, 8 going on 18, who is exceptionally sensitive
and strongwilled, so life is never dull. At the moment she's minding the
batch of 28 baby chicks we picked up this morning. We still unschool, in the
manner I've been told is nowadays called 'radical unschooling', meaning, I'm
told, folks who don't use unit studies.
Now for the comment. Susan wrote:
<< imo the fact that you wanted to learn piano and the opportunity to acquire
this skill was not afforded to you would say to me that you were not
unschooled because your parents did not respect your desires and did not
follow your lead. >>
I strongly disagree with this :) Unschooling, IMO, is indeed about following
the child's lead--I like to refer to it as child-led learning. However,
parents are not obligated to allow the child to lead anywhere she wants! I
don't think you'd let your child lead you to give her lessons in arson, if
she were interested in burning things, would you? :) There are always limits
in the real world.
If my daughter had her way, we'd provide gymnastics, swimming, horseback
riding, piano lessons, and a host of other enriching activities. I would
love to give her ample opportunity for each and every one of these
activities, but there's a few problems. One, there's simply not enough time
to do all these things; Two, we don't have the money; and Three, she is not
real serious about any of the ones she's tried so far.
Where I can work out lessons that I feel are of the quality that provides
learning with respect, for a reasonable amount of money or labor (I have
bartered my labor for her lessons with friends), I give my daughter chances
to try different activities. But when she doesn't follow through on her end
of the deal--for example, wearing the safety equipment needed, or placing her
hands on the keys like her teachers says--then it's time to rethink the
lessons. Periodically we'll give her a new chance to try if she's still
interested, and if she's willing to be fully cooperative with the
restrictions inherent in the situation, then lessons will continue as long as
she is cooperative and we can work out any other problems. But I'm under no
obligation to provide opportunities to someone who won't appreciate and make
the most of them.
If my child had a burning *need* to do something--for example, a child who is
a serious competitive swimmer, or who finds that music, or animals, or
whatever, is her life, then I would move heaven and earth to provide that
opportunity. But most kids are just experimenting, which is fine, if done
with the understanding that it not take over the family's time and income.
Well, so much for my plan to lurk :)
Holly
hjshaltz@...
HJS Studio and Shaltz Farm Shetlands and Angora Rabbits
List Mom, [email protected] and [email protected]
note by Susan in my first digest, and couldn't resist commenting :) Intro
first, though.
I've been unschooling 10 years this month; took my older two kids out of
school 2/3 of the way through 5th grade when the older was suicidally
depressed due to school experiences and the younger, though he had skipped
two years of school, was still grossly unchallenged. I knew no other hsers
but one family who did school at home, which I didn't feel would work in our
situation, but figured a tiny bit of structure would be needed. However, my
oldest son's intense need to deschool led directly to unschooling, and we
never looked back.
The boys are now very nearly 21 (2 weeks) and 18. The elder is in the Army,
has been since before he turned 18, and is doing very well. Getting him in
the Army was a challenge, as our Clonlara diploma was not recognized as
valid. But we got past that hurdle, then 6 weeks after Chris joined, my dh
retired from the Army, and we left TX to move onto our land in MI, where we
now have a small farm. The younger son left home a few weeks after his 18th
birthday to move *back* to TX :) where he's employed by an Internet ecommerce
company, and making a very nice salary along with 80 hour workweeks.
Personally, I hope he quits and finds something less stressful, but that's
what he wants for now :)
My youngest child is a girl, 8 going on 18, who is exceptionally sensitive
and strongwilled, so life is never dull. At the moment she's minding the
batch of 28 baby chicks we picked up this morning. We still unschool, in the
manner I've been told is nowadays called 'radical unschooling', meaning, I'm
told, folks who don't use unit studies.
Now for the comment. Susan wrote:
<< imo the fact that you wanted to learn piano and the opportunity to acquire
this skill was not afforded to you would say to me that you were not
unschooled because your parents did not respect your desires and did not
follow your lead. >>
I strongly disagree with this :) Unschooling, IMO, is indeed about following
the child's lead--I like to refer to it as child-led learning. However,
parents are not obligated to allow the child to lead anywhere she wants! I
don't think you'd let your child lead you to give her lessons in arson, if
she were interested in burning things, would you? :) There are always limits
in the real world.
If my daughter had her way, we'd provide gymnastics, swimming, horseback
riding, piano lessons, and a host of other enriching activities. I would
love to give her ample opportunity for each and every one of these
activities, but there's a few problems. One, there's simply not enough time
to do all these things; Two, we don't have the money; and Three, she is not
real serious about any of the ones she's tried so far.
Where I can work out lessons that I feel are of the quality that provides
learning with respect, for a reasonable amount of money or labor (I have
bartered my labor for her lessons with friends), I give my daughter chances
to try different activities. But when she doesn't follow through on her end
of the deal--for example, wearing the safety equipment needed, or placing her
hands on the keys like her teachers says--then it's time to rethink the
lessons. Periodically we'll give her a new chance to try if she's still
interested, and if she's willing to be fully cooperative with the
restrictions inherent in the situation, then lessons will continue as long as
she is cooperative and we can work out any other problems. But I'm under no
obligation to provide opportunities to someone who won't appreciate and make
the most of them.
If my child had a burning *need* to do something--for example, a child who is
a serious competitive swimmer, or who finds that music, or animals, or
whatever, is her life, then I would move heaven and earth to provide that
opportunity. But most kids are just experimenting, which is fine, if done
with the understanding that it not take over the family's time and income.
Well, so much for my plan to lurk :)
Holly
hjshaltz@...
HJS Studio and Shaltz Farm Shetlands and Angora Rabbits
List Mom, [email protected] and [email protected]
metta
on 4/17/00 11:50 AM, hjshaltz@... wrote:
hear more about how you got past this hurdle. I'm gathering info on
college/career stuff and I'd love to hear the details.
Thanks,
--
Thea
metta@...
> The elder is in the Army,Hi Holly! Nice to 'meet' you! If you have a chance, I would really like to
> has been since before he turned 18, and is doing very well. Getting him in
> the Army was a challenge, as our Clonlara diploma was not recognized as
> valid. But we got past that hurdle,
hear more about how you got past this hurdle. I'm gathering info on
college/career stuff and I'd love to hear the details.
Thanks,
--
Thea
metta@...