helping unschooled teens get out of the house
[email protected]
And here's another comment, FWIW :)
When my sons were in their mid teens, we were stationed at Fort Hood, in TX.
My older son had taken Tae Kwon Do before our move to Ft Hood, but couldn't
resume after the move. My younger son had never really found a group he felt
comfortable in. So for a while, both of them were house potatoes--we never
watched much TV, but they spent lots of time in their rooms reading.
My older one got motivated out of the house when an opportunity opened up for
him to work as a summer hire in the mail room on Ft Hood. He enjoyed being a
valued part of a team so much that when the money ran out, he went back as a
volunteer. He eventually worked about 45 hours a week, until he joined the
Army, taking no holidays and only one sick day. I never would have thought
he would be interested in such a mundane, dull job--but he was important to
them, without him they couldn't have done as good a job, so he stuck with it.
He ended up training the new people when they came in, who were always at
least a couple years older, and sometimes had several years in the Army
before arriving.
I finally talked my younger son (then 14) to work in the volunteer center on
post, doing data entry on an important data base that had been trashed by
accident. He started out working about 10 hours a week, but slowly expanded
until he was doing 20-30 on that project, working as an office assistant and
later almost the office manager, helping to maintain, debug, and otherwise
assist all the other computer users in the building, and then was invited to
be a 'Teen Trainer' in a pilot program--they thought he was already 15 even
though he was small for his age :) He ended up organizing and chairing
meetings, setting agendas, and giving classes, in addition to the office
responsibilities he had. In addition, the data base he set up was copied by
other similar organizations throughout the Army, and he wrote a couple
articles for a national publication serving those organizations.
It's not that hard to get a teen out of the home and in the real world, IF
you are willing to scout out some opportunities that might interest them. My
younger son would never have gone to work at that place if computers hadn't
lured him out; my older son was motivated by money at first. Later both
discovered the value of being an important member of a team. And both (gotta
brag :) won awards for what they did.
In looking at their situations, the most important thing was that I didn't
focus my efforts on finding something for them to do with their age peers.
Instead, I found things for them to do which followed what they were most
interested in at the time. Then, they found friends, skills, and
opportunities that kept them enthused and motivated. And it's worth noting
that I didn't start out with kids who were super extroverted and used to
doing things outside the home. Aside from Tae Kwon Do, my older son spent
most of his time in his room before working as a summer hire. My younger son
repeatedly tried to make friends with age peers and failed, until he became
involved in that program. If I had waited until they decided to look outside
the home, they might still be here. It's hard being a teen today, there's so
few places where teens are trusted with any responsibility at all. It will
often take a parent willing to make a few promises and guarantees before
opportunities come open.
Holly
hjshaltz@...
HJS Studio and Shaltz Farm Shetlands and Angora Rabbits
List Mom, [email protected] and [email protected]
When my sons were in their mid teens, we were stationed at Fort Hood, in TX.
My older son had taken Tae Kwon Do before our move to Ft Hood, but couldn't
resume after the move. My younger son had never really found a group he felt
comfortable in. So for a while, both of them were house potatoes--we never
watched much TV, but they spent lots of time in their rooms reading.
My older one got motivated out of the house when an opportunity opened up for
him to work as a summer hire in the mail room on Ft Hood. He enjoyed being a
valued part of a team so much that when the money ran out, he went back as a
volunteer. He eventually worked about 45 hours a week, until he joined the
Army, taking no holidays and only one sick day. I never would have thought
he would be interested in such a mundane, dull job--but he was important to
them, without him they couldn't have done as good a job, so he stuck with it.
He ended up training the new people when they came in, who were always at
least a couple years older, and sometimes had several years in the Army
before arriving.
I finally talked my younger son (then 14) to work in the volunteer center on
post, doing data entry on an important data base that had been trashed by
accident. He started out working about 10 hours a week, but slowly expanded
until he was doing 20-30 on that project, working as an office assistant and
later almost the office manager, helping to maintain, debug, and otherwise
assist all the other computer users in the building, and then was invited to
be a 'Teen Trainer' in a pilot program--they thought he was already 15 even
though he was small for his age :) He ended up organizing and chairing
meetings, setting agendas, and giving classes, in addition to the office
responsibilities he had. In addition, the data base he set up was copied by
other similar organizations throughout the Army, and he wrote a couple
articles for a national publication serving those organizations.
It's not that hard to get a teen out of the home and in the real world, IF
you are willing to scout out some opportunities that might interest them. My
younger son would never have gone to work at that place if computers hadn't
lured him out; my older son was motivated by money at first. Later both
discovered the value of being an important member of a team. And both (gotta
brag :) won awards for what they did.
In looking at their situations, the most important thing was that I didn't
focus my efforts on finding something for them to do with their age peers.
Instead, I found things for them to do which followed what they were most
interested in at the time. Then, they found friends, skills, and
opportunities that kept them enthused and motivated. And it's worth noting
that I didn't start out with kids who were super extroverted and used to
doing things outside the home. Aside from Tae Kwon Do, my older son spent
most of his time in his room before working as a summer hire. My younger son
repeatedly tried to make friends with age peers and failed, until he became
involved in that program. If I had waited until they decided to look outside
the home, they might still be here. It's hard being a teen today, there's so
few places where teens are trusted with any responsibility at all. It will
often take a parent willing to make a few promises and guarantees before
opportunities come open.
Holly
hjshaltz@...
HJS Studio and Shaltz Farm Shetlands and Angora Rabbits
List Mom, [email protected] and [email protected]