J. Stauffer

<<When do they learn that days are not just about play?>>

If they are very lucky, it is a lesson they will never learn. If you do
what you enjoy, when you enjoy it, you eventually find something you love.
When you love doing something, you don't mind puting in extra time or effort
to get it just right. You don't mind making sacrifices in other areas so
you have time and money to do what you love. If you do what you love, money
will come and everyday truly IS about play.

I spent many years working, not playing, but working as a psychologist. I
didn't mind the work but it was something I did to pay for my real life.
Now at 40, I am playing at being a goat farmer. I truly love it. I enjoy
getting up at 5:30 am to milk and hear all the animals waking for the day.
I like cleaning pens and feeling the warm sunshine and fresh breeze. I
don't even mind having only one dress because I need the money more for feed
than for attire.

Julie--who hopes you all never work

[email protected]

>>>>But are you guys saying, that because you spend *some* of your time
playing, you don't consider work...work?<<<


I spend ALL of my time playing! ANd work is only what you make it!


>>>What about running a household?
Dishes? Chores? Check books and other necessary evils?<<<

What about it? I do those things because they are important to me. If there
was something I REALLY found distasteful (like checkbook balancing), I'd find a
way around around it in order to have a playful, joyful life. (I got rid of
the checkbook. I just use cash. BINGO!) If I truly hated housework---if it gave
me no joy, I would hire someone to do it for me.


>>>I guess when I
said "grow up" about my kids that I was wondering when in thier lives I
would begin to see that tendancy in them to understand that part of our
lives is "necessarry application" and other is fun and discovery. Even if
we end up in jobs we love, all of life is not fun and games.<<<

I believe that, if your life is NOT all fun and games, you need a new
life----or at least new priorities! <G> You'll see a tendency to do "necessary
applications" when the child is ready. It's different for everyone.


>>>>And those times that it's not doesn't have to be miserable drudgery but
it does
take a willingness and dedication right?<<<<

Huh?

>>>So, is there any time in a child's life when one can expect to see a
pleasant/contented/willing understanding that parts of the day are for
work and other parts are for play?<<<<

Maybe in your children's lives. Not in mine. I want them to know that you can
find joy in ALL parts of your life. That there are others you can pay if
there's something that you find truly distasteful----or that you can be creative
in dealing with it.


>>>Are there ways to encourage
responsiblity and a joyful dedication to getting those things done that
we don't always prefer that don't communicate "life isn't about
playtime"? Is there a way to thow out the bathwater without tossing the
baby?<<<

Looks to me that YOU'RE throwing out the joy while tossing the life! I hate
the words "work" and "chore". There are things that need to be done in order to
make your life more joyful and pleasant----like clean clothes and clean
sheets and clean dishes and a stocked refrigerator and clean toilets and vacuumed
carpets. These things can be done begrudgingly or joyfully.

If you're making children do these things that are important to YOU "just
because", the children will learn that chores suck and they won't want to do
them. If you model giving, loving care of your property and if you take care of it
because it's important to the house's and to your well-being, the children
will take ownership and act accordingly. But THEY NEED TO SEE YOU MODEL THAT
BEHAVIOUR!

>>>So far modeling is as far as I go. But I"d honestly like to raise
children who have healthy priorities. Will that happen with *just*
modeling?<<<<

Uh huh. And I'd also talk out loud: "I love clean sheets at night. I'm going
to wash mine today. Do you want to bring down your sheets too?" and tell them
when you tuck them in how nice the sheets smell and feel. "I'm going out to
garden." If they show up, just talk about how much you love homegrown tomatoes
and cucumbers and how much you like providing them. While you're folding
clothes, talk about how small or suddenly HUGE their shirts are (that amazes me
still!) and how much you love having clean clothes. JOYFULLY model the
behaviour-----complaining while dusting won't accomplish it!

~Kelly


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