primalmother

I don't frequent the list a lot, as I'm usually to busy to
participate. However, today I got a scare and I need to share and
get some imput.
My boys 6 & 7 y/o went out today to feed and water the dogs,
when they finished they came back in and asked to play outdoors. I
had no problem with that, so out they went. However, today they
decided to venture out the gate (without permission). We live in
the village and own the property between 2 streets. They went out
the back on the less traveled street and next door onto the edge of
the parking lot of a local business. Someone at that business
called the police and the police picked the boys up and came to the
door. For some reason the boys told the officer I wasn't home,
probably not wanting to get into trouble. He said if he didn't find
me at home he was going to call FIA. Then he started complaining
that they aren't in school and don't know anything, etc, etc. I
couldn't believe what I was hearing and what was happening, as the
boys hadn't been outside more than 10 to 15 minutes. He wanted
their names, ages, my name and phone number and how many kids I had,
I gave him the info. and told him they were privately schooled (we
live in Michigan). I'm not sure if I should have gave him that
info., as I couldn't think at the time. He gave me and the boys a
lecture and finally let them out of his car for me to take inside.
I kept telling him I needed to go, as I had an infant that was
sleeping inside, but he kept going on and on.
The thing that gets me is our society expects children to be
locked up between certain hours of the day and if kids are out
during that time frame, people get up in arms about it. I don't
want to feel like I have to lock my kids up during school hours, but
I don't like dealing with situations like what happened today either.
There's some kids my sons age that runs all over town, all of
the time,outside of school hours and the police never pick them up.
They walk across town to play with my kids, because I won't let my
kids outside the yard without supervision. Here I am, the cautious
parent and I get hasseled just because my kids happened to venture
outside the gate during school hours. My husband just happened to
be on the part of his mail route that comes near our home when he
saw the officer leaving. He came home worried something had
happened to one of us, only to find out the above. He wasn't only
up-set that the boys left the yard without permission, but that the
police were even called. Why do people feel they need to meddle?
Now, I feel like I can't let my kids outside during the day, even in
their own yard and I'm worried this officer is going to watch our
place and call FIA if he see the kids out to often, so I'm
frustrated! What would you do? I want to move now.
Robin

Heidi

Oh my goodness! Robin, how awful.

don't know what to advise you. I'd have been in tears, probably.
angry, afraid.

Maybe, just have some good answers prepared, in case something
happens again? such as "Must I give you this information? Have I done
anything wrong? Are the boys in trouble?"

whew. I feel for you

blessings, HeidiC


--- In [email protected], "primalmother"
<Nest4Robin@w...> wrote:
> I don't frequent the list a lot, as I'm usually to busy to
> participate. However, today I got a scare and I need to share and
> get some imput.
> My boys 6 & 7 y/o went out today to feed and water the dogs,
> when they finished they came back in and asked to play outdoors. I
> had no problem with that, so out they went. However, today they
> decided to venture out the gate (without permission). We live in
> the village and own the property between 2 streets. They went out
> the back on the less traveled street and next door onto the edge of
> the parking lot of a local business. Someone at that business
> called the police and the police picked the boys up and came to the
> door. For some reason the boys told the officer I wasn't home,
> probably not wanting to get into trouble. He said if he didn't
find
> me at home he was going to call FIA. Then he started complaining
> that they aren't in school and don't know anything, etc, etc. I
> couldn't believe what I was hearing and what was happening, as the
> boys hadn't been outside more than 10 to 15 minutes. He wanted
> their names, ages, my name and phone number and how many kids I
had,
> I gave him the info. and told him they were privately schooled (we
> live in Michigan). I'm not sure if I should have gave him that
> info., as I couldn't think at the time. He gave me and the boys a
> lecture and finally let them out of his car for me to take inside.
> I kept telling him I needed to go, as I had an infant that was
> sleeping inside, but he kept going on and on.
> The thing that gets me is our society expects children to be
> locked up between certain hours of the day and if kids are out
> during that time frame, people get up in arms about it. I don't
> want to feel like I have to lock my kids up during school hours,
but
> I don't like dealing with situations like what happened today
either.
> There's some kids my sons age that runs all over town, all of
> the time,outside of school hours and the police never pick them
up.
> They walk across town to play with my kids, because I won't let my
> kids outside the yard without supervision. Here I am, the cautious
> parent and I get hasseled just because my kids happened to venture
> outside the gate during school hours. My husband just happened to
> be on the part of his mail route that comes near our home when he
> saw the officer leaving. He came home worried something had
> happened to one of us, only to find out the above. He wasn't only
> up-set that the boys left the yard without permission, but that the
> police were even called. Why do people feel they need to meddle?
> Now, I feel like I can't let my kids outside during the day, even
in
> their own yard and I'm worried this officer is going to watch our
> place and call FIA if he see the kids out to often, so I'm
> frustrated! What would you do? I want to move now.
> Robin

liza sabater

On Tuesday, September 23, 2003, at 08:07 PM, primalmother wrote:

> There's some kids my sons age that runs all over town, all of
> the time,outside of school hours and the police never pick them up.

Robin, I feel for you. It most have been a heck of a scare.

Now, 6-7 year olds walking across town!?!? That's odd. Still, I live in
NYC and have little knowledge of the comings and goings of people in
the rest of the US. As they say, there is NYC and then there is the US
:-)

I think that the best thing you can do is walkwalkwalk EVERYWHERE
EVERYDAY with your kids. Here in my little piece of the Big Apple,
everybody and their mother knows my family. They may not know our
names, but I have people recognize me in other parts of town as the mom
with the two boys that go everywhere together. In a city where nobody
knows even your face, everybody knows us. They know we homeschool, they
know we are around. They expect to see us around. We took a
mini-vacation this past week and people noticed our absence.

It has always been important for me that my kids have a strong sense of
community and that means, knowing our postman, grocers, pharmacists,
area policemen, firemen, area nannies, building supers, etc.
Unschooling for us is an opportunity to not just be out and about in
our neighborhood but to live fully in it.

/ l i z a, nyc
============================
http://culturekitchen.com
http://liza.typepad.com

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/26/2003 2:01:26 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

> >Didn't John Holt, in one of his books, say something about children
> >staying at home alone was better than school? I seem to remember him
> >talking about kids staying home alone at very young ages. I also
> >remember something about a very young child going to a library alone
> >to occupy himself during the day if the mom had to work?
> >
> >Sheila
> >
> >
> >
> I think it was more common when I was growing up. My mum was a single
> parent of three. We often would get in from school around 4pm, eat the
> sadwhiches she'd left for us and then go out and play until she got home
> from work about 6 or 7. That wasn't neglect. That was normal. While none
> of the neighbours were particuarly keeping an eye on us we knew we could
> knock on most of the doors if there was a problem and we'd been taught
> to use the phone box across the street to dial 999 if it was serious.
> I recall times when she worked in the school,holidays so we would be
> alone all day. She gave us a list of chores, shopping to fetch and left
> us food. My only gripe was that, as the ledest , I was meant to be
> responsible for my brother sister. So I'd get into trouble :-(
>
>

That wqas kind of our life growing up. My mom always worked, and we'd come
home from school and watch tv, or play, or whatever. We played outside with
friends, and we were allowed to have friends my parents knew play at my house (if
they were allowed) None of our friends' moms worked.

We liked it a lot. My sister and I fought a lot, but I'm not sure we wouldn't
have had my mom been home. And I always needed lots of time for myself, and
that gave me good opportunities for it.

That said...I'm glad I'm here for Juls. AND one of the coolest things my mom
ever said to me before she died was that she wished they'd known about
homeschooling for me.

Kathryn


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