Ren

"Point is: coercing chores makes it impossible for kids to offer
their acts of service as gifts of generosity. They are fulfilling
requirements, not loving family members."

I loved your whole post Julie...very inspirational!

I just have to share the latest at my house. My dh has always been a major neat freak and really can't stand our chaotic methods. Our solution was to make a space for him that is his own, completely separate so he can have peace/quiet/cleanliness that he desires.
But the upstairs still bugged him. He would quietly fume about it OR occasionally grump about the mess.
All of the sudden, THIS week, he had the epiphany. He told me that he realized that most of the problem was I didn't have enough help and instead of bugging the kids about it, he should just help me.
WOW! Very cool.
So he's been helping out more. And when he was sweeping the floor a couple days ago and I thanked him, he said "well, it bugs me so I should be the one to take care of it."
Well knock me over with a feather! I just stood there with my mouth open. The unschooling philosophies are invading every corner of his brain, how totally amazing. HE GETS IT!!!

Ren