Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] More clarifying
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
Just an aside as I was passin' through on the whole stifle ourselves vs.
shock society quibble...
When my kids were in public doing something I didn't mind, but that most
folks would find unsettling, I'd quietly tell them, "Honey, That's not
socially appropriate. I need you to not do that right now, okay?" Actual
canned words they heard from toddlerhood on up.
They knew that the phrase meant I could care less if they were (for
example) peeing on a tree (at age 4 after having come back from camping
back-country), but that the other parents and kids at the playground might
not be able to handle seeing it and that peeing on trees is something
generally not done in polite company. They figured out what was/not
socially acceptable without impacting their ability to continue the actions
in appropriate circumstances or when the public wasn't around to be shocked.
It turned out to be a nice way to let the kid know about immediate social
niceties without making them feel an eedjit.
Worked for us.
HeidiWD
shock society quibble...
When my kids were in public doing something I didn't mind, but that most
folks would find unsettling, I'd quietly tell them, "Honey, That's not
socially appropriate. I need you to not do that right now, okay?" Actual
canned words they heard from toddlerhood on up.
They knew that the phrase meant I could care less if they were (for
example) peeing on a tree (at age 4 after having come back from camping
back-country), but that the other parents and kids at the playground might
not be able to handle seeing it and that peeing on trees is something
generally not done in polite company. They figured out what was/not
socially acceptable without impacting their ability to continue the actions
in appropriate circumstances or when the public wasn't around to be shocked.
It turned out to be a nice way to let the kid know about immediate social
niceties without making them feel an eedjit.
Worked for us.
HeidiWD
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/03 4:04:46 AM, heidi@... writes:
<< When my kids were in public doing something I didn't mind, but that most
folks would find unsettling, I'd quietly tell them, "Honey, That's not
socially appropriate. I need you to not do that right now, okay?" Actual
canned words they heard from toddlerhood on up. >>
Our canned phrase here was "Some people don't like it when you do that."
"Why?"
And then they got a real explanation. Because it's illegal when adults do
it (like peeing on a tree or running in the front yard naked), or they think
it's a sin (bad words), or they will think you're not a nice person (various).
Those are some really good discussions.
They've known since they knew anything that there are places to pee and
places NOT to pee. Same with nose picking, penis-touching, dirty-joke telling,
dirty-song singing, etc.
It surprises me to read here that some adults seem not to understanding it,
since my kids never had any trouble seeing it clearly and simply.
Sandra
<< When my kids were in public doing something I didn't mind, but that most
folks would find unsettling, I'd quietly tell them, "Honey, That's not
socially appropriate. I need you to not do that right now, okay?" Actual
canned words they heard from toddlerhood on up. >>
Our canned phrase here was "Some people don't like it when you do that."
"Why?"
And then they got a real explanation. Because it's illegal when adults do
it (like peeing on a tree or running in the front yard naked), or they think
it's a sin (bad words), or they will think you're not a nice person (various).
Those are some really good discussions.
They've known since they knew anything that there are places to pee and
places NOT to pee. Same with nose picking, penis-touching, dirty-joke telling,
dirty-song singing, etc.
It surprises me to read here that some adults seem not to understanding it,
since my kids never had any trouble seeing it clearly and simply.
Sandra
Mary
<<From: <SandraDodd@...>
<< They've known since they knew anything that there are places to pee and
places NOT to pee. Same with nose picking, penis-touching, dirty-joke
telling, dirty-song singing, etc.
It surprises me to read here that some adults seem not to understanding it,
since my kids never had any trouble seeing it clearly and simply.>>
I think this is all great advice. I just spoke with Joseph about something
he was doing when he would get frustrated with someone. Told him how it's
not that big of a deal to us, but friends will probably not want to be
around someone who seems like they get so annoyed with them. He understood
and didn't get upset about it. I try to point things out like that to my
kids whenever it comes up. I think it's important for people to understand
how others feel about things as well as them being in touch with their own
feelings.
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com
<< They've known since they knew anything that there are places to pee and
places NOT to pee. Same with nose picking, penis-touching, dirty-joke
telling, dirty-song singing, etc.
It surprises me to read here that some adults seem not to understanding it,
since my kids never had any trouble seeing it clearly and simply.>>
I think this is all great advice. I just spoke with Joseph about something
he was doing when he would get frustrated with someone. Told him how it's
not that big of a deal to us, but friends will probably not want to be
around someone who seems like they get so annoyed with them. He understood
and didn't get upset about it. I try to point things out like that to my
kids whenever it comes up. I think it's important for people to understand
how others feel about things as well as them being in touch with their own
feelings.
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com