Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Biting my tongue.....
Judie C. Rall
She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
Judie
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> I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,Why does she call YOU? Why not say it?
> there is an option!!"
Judie
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[email protected]
Hi All,
I have a close friend who has a son the same age as mine. They would both
have been entering K this August; her son went to school and mine stayed home.
The first week of school went fine for her son and she was very proud at how
well he adjusted. This week, he claimed to be sick for 2 days. After a little
questioning she learned that he wasn't really sick but didn't want to go to
school. It seems that there are 2 bullies in his class, his folder and backpack
are too small, he has trouble getting his pants snapped after using the
bathroom and can't get his lunch items open to eat in the cafeteria. (This is
all-day, every-day K.)
His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!"
Amy Kagey
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=1684902">my Usborne Books website!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have a close friend who has a son the same age as mine. They would both
have been entering K this August; her son went to school and mine stayed home.
The first week of school went fine for her son and she was very proud at how
well he adjusted. This week, he claimed to be sick for 2 days. After a little
questioning she learned that he wasn't really sick but didn't want to go to
school. It seems that there are 2 bullies in his class, his folder and backpack
are too small, he has trouble getting his pants snapped after using the
bathroom and can't get his lunch items open to eat in the cafeteria. (This is
all-day, every-day K.)
His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!"
Amy Kagey
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=1684902">my Usborne Books website!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/12/03 12:19:05 PM, amycats2@... writes:
<< His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then
calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!" >>
My sister used to call and tell me her problems.
You can only bit your tongue so long.
Here's what happened with me and my sister:
http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice
There *IS* an option, and you will let her waste too much of your time and
hers too if you don't gradually and eventually tell her that.
Sandra
<< His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then
calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!" >>
My sister used to call and tell me her problems.
You can only bit your tongue so long.
Here's what happened with me and my sister:
http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice
There *IS* an option, and you will let her waste too much of your time and
hers too if you don't gradually and eventually tell her that.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/12/2003 2:09:38 PM Central Daylight Time,
adonai@... writes:
is at work. I don't say it because she will just respond with "I could never
homeschool...I don't believe in it!" I have said something along the lines of
"Well, you know what I think about that..."
Amy Kagey
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=1684902">my Usborne Books website!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
adonai@... writes:
> She doesn't believe in homeschooling soI don't really know why she calls me; maybe because everyone else she knows
> >I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
> >there is an option!!"
>
> Why does she call YOU? Why not say it?
>
>
is at work. I don't say it because she will just respond with "I could never
homeschool...I don't believe in it!" I have said something along the lines of
"Well, you know what I think about that..."
Amy Kagey
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=1684902">my Usborne Books website!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Olga
Amy,
Another alternative is to explain to her at those times that is
precisely why you homeschool. It is a wonderful opportunity to show
people that you were aware of these very typical complications in
schooling through your research and have choosen this path instead.
That way, it is less of here is what you should do and more this is
why I chose to do it. When my SIL complains about school, I don't
discuss homeschooling as an option because it would not be welcome
but I make it loud and clear that her complaints are some of the
reasons I have made the decision. In a sense they are giving you
and examples and arguements to prove your point.
However, I certainly don't feel I have to convince others. There
are some people that will NEVER want to do this. I have to respect
people's choices, particulary people whom I care about. If someone
complains I listen and try to offer them help or advice within
the "school" realm if I can think of something useful. If their
child is going to stay in school than I certainly want to offer and
help to make that as plesant as possible if I have any advice that
is usable. But I do start quite a few sentences with "That was one
reason we decided to keep Keiran at home.." Also, if I am having a
bad day with my kids I would not want someone to say "send them to
school" or "I told you so" either so I am sure they feel the same.
Olga :)
Another alternative is to explain to her at those times that is
precisely why you homeschool. It is a wonderful opportunity to show
people that you were aware of these very typical complications in
schooling through your research and have choosen this path instead.
That way, it is less of here is what you should do and more this is
why I chose to do it. When my SIL complains about school, I don't
discuss homeschooling as an option because it would not be welcome
but I make it loud and clear that her complaints are some of the
reasons I have made the decision. In a sense they are giving you
and examples and arguements to prove your point.
However, I certainly don't feel I have to convince others. There
are some people that will NEVER want to do this. I have to respect
people's choices, particulary people whom I care about. If someone
complains I listen and try to offer them help or advice within
the "school" realm if I can think of something useful. If their
child is going to stay in school than I certainly want to offer and
help to make that as plesant as possible if I have any advice that
is usable. But I do start quite a few sentences with "That was one
reason we decided to keep Keiran at home.." Also, if I am having a
bad day with my kids I would not want someone to say "send them to
school" or "I told you so" either so I am sure they feel the same.
Olga :)
--- In [email protected], amycats2@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 9/12/2003 2:09:38 PM Central Daylight Time,
> adonai@s... writes:
>
> > She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
> > >I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to
say "Obviously,
> > >there is an option!!"
> >
> > Why does she call YOU? Why not say it?
> >
> >
>
> I don't really know why she calls me; maybe because everyone else
she knows
> is at work. I don't say it because she will just respond with "I
could never
> homeschool...I don't believe in it!" I have said something along
the lines of
> "Well, you know what I think about that..."
> Amy Kagey
> <A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?
sid=Z0939&gid=1684902">my Usborne Books website!</A>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/12/03 1:34:36 PM, amycats2@... writes:
<< she will just respond with "I could never
homeschool...I don't believe in it!" I have said something along the lines
of
"Well, you know what I think about that..." >>
Then say "Do you believe in leaving him where he's miserable?"
Or if she says "I told him kids have no choice, everyone has to go to
school," remind her that what she told him isn't true, and if she wants to keep his
confidence, truth would be better.
Don't help her lie to herself and her son.
Sandra
<< she will just respond with "I could never
homeschool...I don't believe in it!" I have said something along the lines
of
"Well, you know what I think about that..." >>
Then say "Do you believe in leaving him where he's miserable?"
Or if she says "I told him kids have no choice, everyone has to go to
school," remind her that what she told him isn't true, and if she wants to keep his
confidence, truth would be better.
Don't help her lie to herself and her son.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/12/03 01:19:22 PM Central Daylight Time,
amycats2@... writes:
His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then
calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!"
Amy Kagey
************************************************************
I am sure she calls you because you are friends and all, but do you maybe
think there is some sort of subconscious stuff at work here? I mean why does she
call YOU, the homeschooling mom, opposed to so and so her friend with kids in
school, who could give her all the advice and reassurance she "needs" to keep
her child in school? She is reaching out, even if she doesn't know it. But
that is just my opinion! <G> Sandra has an article about her sister, it is all
about her journey from school to homeschooling and around that block again. I'm
sure you have seen it.
~Nancy
People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have.
Anne Tyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
amycats2@... writes:
His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then
calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!"
Amy Kagey
************************************************************
I am sure she calls you because you are friends and all, but do you maybe
think there is some sort of subconscious stuff at work here? I mean why does she
call YOU, the homeschooling mom, opposed to so and so her friend with kids in
school, who could give her all the advice and reassurance she "needs" to keep
her child in school? She is reaching out, even if she doesn't know it. But
that is just my opinion! <G> Sandra has an article about her sister, it is all
about her journey from school to homeschooling and around that block again. I'm
sure you have seen it.
~Nancy
People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have.
Anne Tyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Holly Furgason
Apparently the only here without a choice is this poor boy. Anyone
these days who doesn't know there are choices in education is really
just saying that *their* choice has been made and everyone else has
to live with it.
Holly
these days who doesn't know there are choices in education is really
just saying that *their* choice has been made and everyone else has
to live with it.
Holly
--- In [email protected], amycats2@a... wrote:
> His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has
to go to
> school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out.
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/12/03 01:19:22 PM Central Daylight Time,
amycats2@... writes:
His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then
calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!"
Amy Kagey
************************************************************
I am sure she calls you because you are friends and all, but do you maybe
think there is some sort of subconscious stuff at work here? I mean why does she
call YOU, the homeschooling mom, opposed to so and so her friend with kids in
school, who could give her all the advice and reassurance she "needs" to keep
her child in school? She is reaching out, even if she doesn't know it. But
that is just my opinion! <G> Sandra has an article about her sister, it is all
about her journey from school to homeschooling and around that block again. I'm
sure you have seen it.
~Nancy
People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have.
Anne Tyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
amycats2@... writes:
His mom keeps telling him that there is NO CHOICE, everyone has to go to
school and that him coming home sick is really stressing her out. She then
calls
me with the latest details. ((Sigh)) She doesn't believe in homeschooling so
I just bite my tongue while she rants but I really want to say "Obviously,
there is an option!!"
Amy Kagey
************************************************************
I am sure she calls you because you are friends and all, but do you maybe
think there is some sort of subconscious stuff at work here? I mean why does she
call YOU, the homeschooling mom, opposed to so and so her friend with kids in
school, who could give her all the advice and reassurance she "needs" to keep
her child in school? She is reaching out, even if she doesn't know it. But
that is just my opinion! <G> Sandra has an article about her sister, it is all
about her journey from school to homeschooling and around that block again. I'm
sure you have seen it.
~Nancy
People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have.
Anne Tyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]