Bronwen

Hi Tia!

>>It really feels like he wants to be told what to do, to follow a
curriculum,
>and it seems to be about being like everyone else rather than any desire to
>learn.

We are kindof dealing with that here. We went to look at math books at
Borders, because she (15) wanted to check them out. There was one
recommended by Grace Llewellyn- Math for everyone (or something) and it had
things like balancing your check book and stuff. Anyway, on the way out I
said something like "I think it is silly to practice balancing your check
book, when you could just have a check book and balance it for real..." and
I said a bunch more things..um..well the jist is this- what you want to do
is live your life - right - so when you get older you start thinking, well,
what is my life? is it good even if it is different? am I going in the
direction I want to be?

so anyway- the real answer to the question "should my life be different?" is
not to go to borders or look through the genius tribe catalog to pick stuff
that interests you- or worse, much worse, pick stuff you think you should be
interested in and forcing yourself to do it, (or like in your son's case-
say you want someone ELSE to pick something for you to learn and force you
to do it!), but instead to really think about the main "umpf" in your life
and then work down till you have the nitty gritty day to day things you want
to do all fitting like a puzzle.

SO we ordered this book: (recommended HIGHLY by Grace Llewellyn in the
Genius Tribe Catalog- now defunct)

First Things First: To Live, to Love, to Learn, to Leave a Legacy
by Stephen R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, Rebecca R. Merrill

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684802031/qid=1062745809/sr=8
-1/ref=sr_8_1/102-4202504-8760103?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

She LOVED *Seven habits for highly effective teens* about three years ago
(she is 15) but I think this book takes life planning farther- I am going to
read it too!
We are also going to reread Teenage Liberation Handbook- I have to borrow it
because I lent mine to someone.

It seems that your son is feeling some anger or something- maybe blameing
you for his unhappiness? I don't know, of course. I think a common
situation in homeschooling is for the mom to take a sort of role of
"responsible for kid's happiness person" - it is fun to give the gift of
something that would make them happy or knowledgeable- but I don't own
happiness or knowledge in my child - HE owns it, I am not *responsible* for
whether he is happy or knows something. There are subtle differences in the
two attitudes in day to day life, which produces differences in the kids.

I would write more but I have to go.
Love,
Bronwen