Ren

"He's still going to build it. But
won't expect Connor to be out there if he doesn't want to."

Cool.
Sounds like that exchange went really well. I have caused defensiveness in dh before...I have to be REALLY mindful before I approach him or it doesn't go over so well.
There isn't much that comes up anymore though, he's really quite laid back. The other day he was stomping around and being a bit pissy about the condition of our messy house (it looked the same as always, but it just got to him due to other stresses) and I asked him if I needed to stay home. He grumped "no, I'll be FINE" and so I reminded him that this was OUR area of the house and if the mess really bothered him he could go downstairs to his neat, clean corner of the world.
I asked him to please not bug the kids about the mess while I was at work. He didn't! :) Big improvement from previous times.
He even called to apologize for being grumpy.
Wow.

Ren