Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] sticking with things
Judie C. Rall
> long as your happy". He brings home the money and sometimes I feel a littleMy husband is constantly saying to me "When are you going to finish
> guilty for purchasing something expensive and not using it like I thought I
> would. He always says "as long as your happy, that is all that matters". I am
> that way with my boys but was raised to "finish what you start" so I guess I
> feel a little of the guilt from my Mom and my childhood at times. It does feel
> nice to have someone who's main concern is your happiness, not.did you finish.
> Pam G
the floor?" We tore out all our carpets and are putting down
laminate flooring, that kind that snaps together. The living room is
done, and the hallway is all that is left. I told my husband from
the beginning I wanted to do it myself, at my own pace, and all by
myself. So that means I work on it until I feel I need to stop. He
wouldn't do that, he would work until it was completely done. He has
offered to help, but I told him that I want to be able to say that I
did it. If he helps, then I don't get the pride of feeling that I
accomplished it alone.
So, there are some days I can't work on it because you can't lay it
when the humidity is over 70%, and I haven't worked on it lately
because it is over 100 degrees outside and to get out and saw on
those boards is just excruciating. And then, I have to be in the
mood, so there are a lot of variables in play. But it irritates him
that I have waited so long to finish the hallway. A couple of days
ago, I cut the last four boards that we have, and started on the
hallways, getting it about 1/3 done. Now I have to wait until we
have money to buy some more boards. But I know he is constantly
thinking to himself, why doesn't she just get it over with?
Judie
Betjeman and Barton Tea Merchants
Judie wrote:
recently. A mom was debating whether to enroll her little girl (3 1/2) in
pee wee soccer. (no scoring, everyone plays that sort of thing)
I replied (and I thought it was logical) "I think as long as you're willing
to let her drop it at any time - if she's not having fun or whatever - then
why not?"
To my SHOCK and almost horror the mom replied (and a LOT of other moms
agreed with her) "unfortunately in my house if you commit to it you
finish it. Michael wanted out of soccer and Meg wanted out of dance classes.
Neither is allow to "drop" until the classes/season ends. My parents lived
and died by this rule and I guess it rubbed off on me."
I'm sorry but to force your child to do something 'just to complete' it
rubs me the wrong way. I know as a child my interests changed a lot. My
parents at one point took to reminding me of all of the things I had started
and dropped to the point where I just stopped trying new things.
I loved Elizabeth's post about all of the different things she's tried (book
binding, canning, weaving etc). I just bought a quilting kit (fabric
included) - hopefully I'm going to bite the bullet and follow through - I'd
love to learn to quilt.
Life is can be full of fun experiences or full of 'follow through no matter
what' which life would you prefer to live?
Karen (in CT)
BTW Thank you Sandra for explaining why the list messages were bouncing - I got the bounced message too :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I'm sorry, but I just don't understand what is wrong with lettinglearning when he is
> kids be responsible for their own actions. ..........Now what is a child
> allowed to make a choice but not allowed to experience theThis reminds me of a discussion my 'baby' group (kids born in Dec 99) had
> consequences of that choice?
recently. A mom was debating whether to enroll her little girl (3 1/2) in
pee wee soccer. (no scoring, everyone plays that sort of thing)
I replied (and I thought it was logical) "I think as long as you're willing
to let her drop it at any time - if she's not having fun or whatever - then
why not?"
To my SHOCK and almost horror the mom replied (and a LOT of other moms
agreed with her) "unfortunately in my house if you commit to it you
finish it. Michael wanted out of soccer and Meg wanted out of dance classes.
Neither is allow to "drop" until the classes/season ends. My parents lived
and died by this rule and I guess it rubbed off on me."
I'm sorry but to force your child to do something 'just to complete' it
rubs me the wrong way. I know as a child my interests changed a lot. My
parents at one point took to reminding me of all of the things I had started
and dropped to the point where I just stopped trying new things.
I loved Elizabeth's post about all of the different things she's tried (book
binding, canning, weaving etc). I just bought a quilting kit (fabric
included) - hopefully I'm going to bite the bullet and follow through - I'd
love to learn to quilt.
Life is can be full of fun experiences or full of 'follow through no matter
what' which life would you prefer to live?
Karen (in CT)
BTW Thank you Sandra for explaining why the list messages were bouncing - I got the bounced message too :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/1/03 9:13:47 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
karen@... writes:
everything. I have an unfinished quilt on the frame at this moment. Waiting
patiently. Many crocheting projects, the garden needs work, poems and stories in
the middle of completion. I flip flop in my interests. Usually get back to
them at some point and sometimes not. I try things out and find I don't like
them enough to continue. I guess I am lucky because my husband's motto is "as
long as your happy". He brings home the money and sometimes I feel a little
guilty for purchasing something expensive and not using it like I thought I
would. He always says "as long as your happy, that is all that matters". I am
that way with my boys but was raised to "finish what you start" so I guess I
feel a little of the guilt from my Mom and my childhood at times. It does feel
nice to have someone who's main concern is your happiness, not.did you finish.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
karen@... writes:
> I'm sorry but to force your child to do something 'just to complete' itMine change now as an adult. Not sure what I would do if I had to finish
> rubs me the wrong way. I know as a child my interests changed a lot. My
> parents at one point took to reminding me of all of the things I had started
> and dropped to the point where I just stopped trying new things.
>
>
everything. I have an unfinished quilt on the frame at this moment. Waiting
patiently. Many crocheting projects, the garden needs work, poems and stories in
the middle of completion. I flip flop in my interests. Usually get back to
them at some point and sometimes not. I try things out and find I don't like
them enough to continue. I guess I am lucky because my husband's motto is "as
long as your happy". He brings home the money and sometimes I feel a little
guilty for purchasing something expensive and not using it like I thought I
would. He always says "as long as your happy, that is all that matters". I am
that way with my boys but was raised to "finish what you start" so I guess I
feel a little of the guilt from my Mom and my childhood at times. It does feel
nice to have someone who's main concern is your happiness, not.did you finish.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/1/03 7:13:46 AM, karen@... writes:
<< "unfortunately in my house if you commit to it you
finish it. Michael wanted out of soccer and Meg wanted out of dance classes.
Neither is allow to "drop" until the classes/season ends. My parents lived
and died by this rule and I guess it rubbed off on me." >>
Yeah. Heavy on the "died" and "unfortunately"!
Sandra
<< "unfortunately in my house if you commit to it you
finish it. Michael wanted out of soccer and Meg wanted out of dance classes.
Neither is allow to "drop" until the classes/season ends. My parents lived
and died by this rule and I guess it rubbed off on me." >>
Yeah. Heavy on the "died" and "unfortunately"!
Sandra
[email protected]
This was the topic in our home today. We/HE are also laying the flooring but
it is my husband who has not finished. One room left and trim to be put back
on. I am wanting him to finish so we can avoid dog hair underneath/in the
corners. PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the baby
is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know? He's not a big
verbal thinker. It all happens in his head. I have to say he has always worked
it out.
I would finish the floor but we bought discontinued flooring and has enough
to finish so im not touching it.
Laura
But I know he is constantly
thinking to himself, why doesn't she just get it over with?
Judie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
it is my husband who has not finished. One room left and trim to be put back
on. I am wanting him to finish so we can avoid dog hair underneath/in the
corners. PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the baby
is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know? He's not a big
verbal thinker. It all happens in his head. I have to say he has always worked
it out.
I would finish the floor but we bought discontinued flooring and has enough
to finish so im not touching it.
Laura
But I know he is constantly
thinking to himself, why doesn't she just get it over with?
Judie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shannon
-----Original Message-----
From: HMSL2@... [mailto:HMSL2@...]
Sent: Monday, September 01, 2003 9:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] sticking with things
PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the baby
is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know?
Laura
We have a 13mo and he still rooms with us. <bg> Not because we don't have
room. But because we all sleep together. It works out great!
Shannon Buckley
Mom to Connor 3-15-97, Carsten born at home 4-27-99/5-19-00 and Quinn born
at home 8-08-02
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: HMSL2@... [mailto:HMSL2@...]
Sent: Monday, September 01, 2003 9:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] sticking with things
PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the baby
is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know?
Laura
We have a 13mo and he still rooms with us. <bg> Not because we don't have
room. But because we all sleep together. It works out great!
Shannon Buckley
Mom to Connor 3-15-97, Carsten born at home 4-27-99/5-19-00 and Quinn born
at home 8-08-02
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
We live in a one bedroom apartment. Jayn is almost 4, and sleeps with
us. She uses the crib we were too uneducated not to buy, as her DVD
watching station (one of them). Even when she has her own room in the
future we are envisioning it more as a playroom than her bedroom,
although she will be free to sleep in there if she wants to.
Robyn Coburn
<<PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the
baby is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know?
Laura>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
us. She uses the crib we were too uneducated not to buy, as her DVD
watching station (one of them). Even when she has her own room in the
future we are envisioning it more as a playroom than her bedroom,
although she will be free to sleep in there if she wants to.
Robyn Coburn
<<PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the
baby is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know?
Laura>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
> We have a 13mo and he still rooms with us. <bg> Not because we don'thave
> room. But because we all sleep together. It works out great!All three of my daughter's kids sleep with them, though the oldest is happy
to sleep by herself when she has a sleepover here or somewhere else.
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
Shannon
Yay! Arent family beds great!?
Shannon Buckley
Mom to Connor 3-15-97, Carsten born at home 4-27-99/5-19-00 and Quinn born
at home 8-08-02
-----Original Message-----
From: Tia Leschke [mailto:leschke@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2003 6:03 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] sticking with things
to sleep by herself when she has a sleepover here or somewhere else.
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shannon Buckley
Mom to Connor 3-15-97, Carsten born at home 4-27-99/5-19-00 and Quinn born
at home 8-08-02
-----Original Message-----
From: Tia Leschke [mailto:leschke@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2003 6:03 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] sticking with things
> We have a 13mo and he still rooms with us. <bg> Not because we don'thave
> room. But because we all sleep together. It works out great!All three of my daughter's kids sleep with them, though the oldest is happy
to sleep by herself when she has a sleepover here or somewhere else.
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
click here
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72:HM/A=1693353/R=0/SIG=11t71ok4g/*http://www.netflix.com/Default?mqso=60178
294&partid=3170658>
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>Yay! Aren't family beds great!?Yup! We only did it with the youngest. I loved it.
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
susan marie
Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older. When they were still nursing (each one
more than a year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us
than in the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put his
bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed (watching tv
with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us. I don't know that
any of this was any big decision - simply what the kids wanted and what
worked best for everyone.
I'd like to learn more about this.
thanks!
susan
in md
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older. When they were still nursing (each one
more than a year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us
than in the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put his
bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed (watching tv
with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us. I don't know that
any of this was any big decision - simply what the kids wanted and what
worked best for everyone.
I'd like to learn more about this.
thanks!
susan
in md
On Tuesday, September 2, 2003, at 05:49 PM, Robyn Coburn wrote:
> We live in a one bedroom apartment. Jayn is almost 4, and sleeps with
> us. She uses the crib we were too uneducated not to buy, as her DVD
> watching station (one of them). Even when she has her own room in the
> future we are envisioning it more as a playroom than her bedroom,
> although she will be free to sleep in there if she wants to.
>
> Robyn Coburn
>
>
>
>
> <<PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the
> baby is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know?
>
> Laura>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
> Also, posting policies, a more detailed list description, and other
> list information, are provided at:
> <http://sandradodd.com/lists/info>.
>
> To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and
leave a trail.
~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
odrade7
--- In [email protected], susan marie
<seanachai3@e...> wrote:
[We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed with us until
they were older. When they were still nursing (each one more than a
year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us than in
the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put
his bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed
(watching tv with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us.
<snip> I'd like to learn more about this.]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I like the info about the family bed (aka co-sleeping, sleep sharing,
etc.) at this site http://www.bygpub.com/natural/family-bed.htm but
you're already an ol' pro! ;) At our house my nursling is still in
the bed with us and our 4yo is in his twin bed that is nestled between
our bed and the corner of our room. It's a great arrangement for us
since my older one wants to hold my hand while he falls asleep and the
little one wants to nurse to sleep. :) HTH
TreeGoddess
<seanachai3@e...> wrote:
[We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed with us until
they were older. When they were still nursing (each one more than a
year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us than in
the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put
his bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed
(watching tv with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us.
<snip> I'd like to learn more about this.]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I like the info about the family bed (aka co-sleeping, sleep sharing,
etc.) at this site http://www.bygpub.com/natural/family-bed.htm but
you're already an ol' pro! ;) At our house my nursling is still in
the bed with us and our 4yo is in his twin bed that is nestled between
our bed and the corner of our room. It's a great arrangement for us
since my older one wants to hold my hand while he falls asleep and the
little one wants to nurse to sleep. :) HTH
TreeGoddess
glad2bmadly
Sounds like you are already following the basic principle which is allowing your babies and/or children if they still want to, to sleep with you. Gillen and Jesse were both only in our bed until about 2 1/2. We never got a crib. Now they are happily in a bunk bed in their own room. Sometimes the younger one calls in the night and one of us will go sleep with him (his bottom bunk is a double bed). It works out great. I highly recommend the double bed as a transition so they can stay in their room as they get bigger and yet still get visited by a parent and read to easily before sleep. 'Course, they could always stay in your bed longer too. This just worked better for all of us.
The best book I read about it is called, The Family Bed It is only published in the U.K. I don't remember the author (I lent it out) but it would be worth looking up at amazon u.k. if someone were new to this.
Madeline
susan marie <seanachai3@...> wrote:
Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older. When they were still nursing (each one
more than a year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us
than in the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put his
bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed (watching tv
with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us. I don't know that
any of this was any big decision - simply what the kids wanted and what
worked best for everyone.
I'd like to learn more about this.
thanks!
susan
in md
The best book I read about it is called, The Family Bed It is only published in the U.K. I don't remember the author (I lent it out) but it would be worth looking up at amazon u.k. if someone were new to this.
Madeline
susan marie <seanachai3@...> wrote:
Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older. When they were still nursing (each one
more than a year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us
than in the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put his
bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed (watching tv
with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us. I don't know that
any of this was any big decision - simply what the kids wanted and what
worked best for everyone.
I'd like to learn more about this.
thanks!
susan
in md
On Tuesday, September 2, 2003, at 05:49 PM, Robyn Coburn wrote:
> We live in a one bedroom apartment. Jayn is almost 4, and sleeps with
> us. She uses the crib we were too uneducated not to buy, as her DVD
> watching station (one of them). Even when she has her own room in the
> future we are envisioning it more as a playroom than her bedroom,
> although she will be free to sleep in there if she wants to.
>
> Robyn Coburn
>
>
>
>
> <<PLUS, I told him today I was beginning to panic a bit about where the
> baby is going to room when he/she is born. His answer I dont know?
>
> Laura>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
> Also, posting policies, a more detailed list description, and other
> list information, are provided at:
> <http://sandradodd.com/lists/info>.
>
> To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and
leave a trail.
~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Judie C. Rall
> Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a cribWhen my boys were small, they always knew they were welcome in our
> explain a little?
bed any time. They had their own beds available which they could
sleep in at any time, but they were rarely slept in. Sometimes they
started out the night sleeping with us to begin with. Sometimes we
would lie down beside them in their beds until they went to sleep,
then get up and go to our own beds. They would often sleep about
half the night alone, then get up and come to our beds when they
realized they were alone. They were always received with open arms.
Sometimes they would sleep in the bed with us, sometimes in a
sleeping bag on the floor. Sometimes one of us adults would sleep in
the kids bed so both of them could sleep with the other parent in our
bed. Sometimes my husband would sleep on the couch, and the kids and
I in our bed. Sometimes we'd make a pallet on the floor and
everybody or some people would sleep there. It was musical beds
every night. Wherever and whenever anybody decided to sleep, they
did.
My oldest son slept with us until he was almost 12. Sometimes he'd
sleep part of the night alone, and part with us. All of a sudden,
right before puberty, he suddenly became very independent and needed
his "space" and privacy. Some kids may go to their own beds totally
by 3 or 4 years of age, I don't think it matters when they go. They
will develop their own independence in the course of discovering
themselves.
I loved our time in the family bed, and I feel strongly that the
closeness that we developed there is why my kids and I have such a
good relationship.
Judie
susan marie
thanks - great web site.
s.
s.
On Wednesday, September 3, 2003, at 08:22 AM, odrade7 wrote:
> --- In [email protected], susan marie
> <seanachai3@e...> wrote:
> [We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed with us until
> they were older. When they were still nursing (each one more than a
> year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us than in
> the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
> sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put
> his bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed
> (watching tv with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us.
> <snip> I'd like to learn more about this.]
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
>
> I like the info about the family bed (aka co-sleeping, sleep sharing,
> etc.) at this site http://www.bygpub.com/natural/family-bed.htm but
> you're already an ol' pro! ;) At our house my nursling is still in
> the bed with us and our 4yo is in his twin bed that is nestled between
> our bed and the corner of our room. It's a great arrangement for us
> since my older one wants to hold my hand while he falls asleep and the
> little one wants to nurse to sleep. :) HTH
>
> TreeGoddess
>
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and
leave a trail.
~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/3/03 6:11:43 AM, seanachai3@... writes:
<< Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older. >>
We had a queensize for mom/dad. At first we used a crib, but it was way
more work and coldness than we wanted. In short time, it was only used for
daytime naps, and not all of those.
We got another bed, a double/fullsize, and I slept with Kirby there until he
fell asleep, and visited Keith some nights, and sometimes stayed in there
until I woke up to Kirby being awake right next door, and would switch beds. It
was easier for me to switch beds than to get up and sit up in a chair and stay
awake until Kirby was asleep and then risk a transfer.
Everybody slept better when I was switching beds. If we had had a bigger
bedroom and my husband didn't have a bad lower back, my preference would have
been to have both those beds next to each other or mattresses on the floor
together.
Oh! For a while we had a bassinet next to the bed, and would move the teensy
kirby in there sometimes, or out of there sometimes, into the bed.
By the time Marty came, he and Kirby and I shared that kid-room bed lots,
with a net-and-tube side rail so nobody fell out, and I slept between them.
Keith has always gone to work early since kids were born, like 6:00, so it
was better for me not to be in there at that hour when he was leaving, and since
kids were nursing it was better for him to sleep where he wouldn't be
awakened a bunch.
Some of my friends were doing an every-other-waking thing with their husbands
where they told him he HAD to get up and get the baby every other time, or
that they would nurse the baby to sleep each time IF their husbands went and
brought him/her.
Three couples I'm thinking of did something along those lines, and the
husbands agreed, and the wives rested better than the husbands.
All three of those couples are divorced. I still know them all (one dad I've
lost contact with) and all their kids, still, and their subsequent re-ups if
any.
I'm still with Keith, and now we sleep in the same bed every night and I can
sleep through his going to work if I want to or am really tired, or can wake
up and talk to him and then go back to sleep.
None of those other couples have that option.
Sometime before Holly came or about that time, we got a bunkbed with a single
on the top and double on the bottom and Kirby moved up to the top.
That was not ideal. In retrospect, I wish we could have gone to bigger floor
space and been all together. That old house had no room with floorspace
enough for two mattresses. Our new house has two rooms which would be big eough
for five people in one room. But it's too late now.
At last Kirby was in the same room with us, but he did feel shut out of the
sleeping with mom opportunity and I'm sorry about that.
Lots of times one of the kids has slept with Keith, especially Holly. And
after we moved to the bigger house, for the first couple of years I was worried
if morning came and we hadn't picked up Marty or Holly in the night.
Now they only show up if they're scared or have bad dreams. Looking back at
my own childhood, I'm really happy to see how few times they're scared. I was
scared a lot and my parents never once let me come in with them. They always
just made me go back to bed again, alone, in the same scary room.
Sandra
<< Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older. >>
We had a queensize for mom/dad. At first we used a crib, but it was way
more work and coldness than we wanted. In short time, it was only used for
daytime naps, and not all of those.
We got another bed, a double/fullsize, and I slept with Kirby there until he
fell asleep, and visited Keith some nights, and sometimes stayed in there
until I woke up to Kirby being awake right next door, and would switch beds. It
was easier for me to switch beds than to get up and sit up in a chair and stay
awake until Kirby was asleep and then risk a transfer.
Everybody slept better when I was switching beds. If we had had a bigger
bedroom and my husband didn't have a bad lower back, my preference would have
been to have both those beds next to each other or mattresses on the floor
together.
Oh! For a while we had a bassinet next to the bed, and would move the teensy
kirby in there sometimes, or out of there sometimes, into the bed.
By the time Marty came, he and Kirby and I shared that kid-room bed lots,
with a net-and-tube side rail so nobody fell out, and I slept between them.
Keith has always gone to work early since kids were born, like 6:00, so it
was better for me not to be in there at that hour when he was leaving, and since
kids were nursing it was better for him to sleep where he wouldn't be
awakened a bunch.
Some of my friends were doing an every-other-waking thing with their husbands
where they told him he HAD to get up and get the baby every other time, or
that they would nurse the baby to sleep each time IF their husbands went and
brought him/her.
Three couples I'm thinking of did something along those lines, and the
husbands agreed, and the wives rested better than the husbands.
All three of those couples are divorced. I still know them all (one dad I've
lost contact with) and all their kids, still, and their subsequent re-ups if
any.
I'm still with Keith, and now we sleep in the same bed every night and I can
sleep through his going to work if I want to or am really tired, or can wake
up and talk to him and then go back to sleep.
None of those other couples have that option.
Sometime before Holly came or about that time, we got a bunkbed with a single
on the top and double on the bottom and Kirby moved up to the top.
That was not ideal. In retrospect, I wish we could have gone to bigger floor
space and been all together. That old house had no room with floorspace
enough for two mattresses. Our new house has two rooms which would be big eough
for five people in one room. But it's too late now.
At last Kirby was in the same room with us, but he did feel shut out of the
sleeping with mom opportunity and I'm sorry about that.
Lots of times one of the kids has slept with Keith, especially Holly. And
after we moved to the bigger house, for the first couple of years I was worried
if morning came and we hadn't picked up Marty or Holly in the night.
Now they only show up if they're scared or have bad dreams. Looking back at
my own childhood, I'm really happy to see how few times they're scared. I was
scared a lot and my parents never once let me come in with them. They always
just made me go back to bed again, alone, in the same scary room.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/2/03 10:03:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time, leschke@...
writes:
sleeping together. It feels so comforting to go to sleep beside each other
and wake up beside each other.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> All three of my daughter's kids sleep with them, though the oldest is happyMy boys sleep with us. They have their own room and own beds but we all like
> to sleep by herself when she has a sleepover here or somewhere else
sleeping together. It feels so comforting to go to sleep beside each other
and wake up beside each other.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shannon
>Yay! Aren't family beds great!?Yup! We only did it with the youngest. I loved it.
Tia
Weve done it with all of mine. As amof, Connor still sleeps next to us in
a twin bed on the floor so he can hold our hand when he needs to. I see
Quinn wanting to transition into his own room before Connor. But then who
knows?
Shannon Buckley
Mom to Connor 3-15-97, Carsten born at home 4-27-99/5-19-00 and Quinn born
at home 8-08-02
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/3/03 8:11:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
seanachai3@... writes:
our first we were in Germany in a two bedroom housing area. My parents were
coming to visit and staying through the delivery and for a couple of weeks
after. So they were staying in what would have been the "baby's room." We bought
a small bassinet with the intention of getting a crib when they left. Dallen
cried when he was born and didn't stop for about 4 months. At least it
seemed like that. The first night he cried so much that I didn't think I was going
to get any sleep so I brought him to bed with us and he seemed to settle
enough to nurse and sleep on and off and I slept.
After that night I had a talk with Jackson to see what he thought. And I
read a couple of books, Family Bed and Continuum Concept. Glad I chose those
books. We decided that it didn't feel right to let him cry. I just couldn't do
it. I felt like he was calling me and I needed to be there. So we abandoned
the idea of getting a crib and we gave the bassinet away. That was the
beginning and we have been sleeping together from that day on.
Never, when I was growing up, did I even know there was such a thing as a
family bed. But it seemed right and we all slept. I was glad to have read those
books though because it helped me feel like I wasn't a freak or something.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
seanachai3@... writes:
> Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a cribSorry I didn't explain at all in my last post. When I was pregnant with the
> explain a little?
our first we were in Germany in a two bedroom housing area. My parents were
coming to visit and staying through the delivery and for a couple of weeks
after. So they were staying in what would have been the "baby's room." We bought
a small bassinet with the intention of getting a crib when they left. Dallen
cried when he was born and didn't stop for about 4 months. At least it
seemed like that. The first night he cried so much that I didn't think I was going
to get any sleep so I brought him to bed with us and he seemed to settle
enough to nurse and sleep on and off and I slept.
After that night I had a talk with Jackson to see what he thought. And I
read a couple of books, Family Bed and Continuum Concept. Glad I chose those
books. We decided that it didn't feel right to let him cry. I just couldn't do
it. I felt like he was calling me and I needed to be there. So we abandoned
the idea of getting a crib and we gave the bassinet away. That was the
beginning and we have been sleeping together from that day on.
Never, when I was growing up, did I even know there was such a thing as a
family bed. But it seemed right and we all slept. I was glad to have read those
books though because it helped me feel like I wasn't a freak or something.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 03/09/2003 05:11:47 Pacific Daylight Time,
seanachai3@... writes:
tried to use it, but my husband found me crying over my son in it, and said, " Oh
for heaven's sake why doesn't he just sleep with us?" Good for him. Now my
almost 8 year old sleeps in his bed, but in our room. My 2 yr old sleeps in the
bed with us and has since the day she was born.
There is a good issue of Mothering Magazine that was completely on
co-sleeping, it may be available online.
We find that everyone gets more sleep this way, and if dh and I need time to
ourselves , well, we have a big house with lots of space
Nancy in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
seanachai3@... writes:
> Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a cribHi Susan, we had a crib when my son was born, and for a couple of weeks I
> explain a little?
tried to use it, but my husband found me crying over my son in it, and said, " Oh
for heaven's sake why doesn't he just sleep with us?" Good for him. Now my
almost 8 year old sleeps in his bed, but in our room. My 2 yr old sleeps in the
bed with us and has since the day she was born.
There is a good issue of Mothering Magazine that was completely on
co-sleeping, it may be available online.
We find that everyone gets more sleep this way, and if dh and I need time to
ourselves , well, we have a big house with lots of space
Nancy in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>>Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a cribexplain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older. When they were still nursing (each one
more than a year), they probably spent more of the night in bed with us
than in the crib. Each have their own room, but the 4 yo doesn't like
sleeping alone, so he either sleeps with one of his sisters (we put his
bed in there) or with us. Usually he starts in his own bed (watching tv
with, or talking to older sister) but ends up with us. I don't know that
any of this was any big decision - simply what the kids wanted and what
worked best for everyone.>>
We put the crib between the wall and the bed and took the side off. When he
was finished nursing I could usually roll him back over onto the crib.
Later we moved a small bed in there instead of the crib.
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/3/03 07:11:46 AM Central Daylight Time,
seanachai3@... writes:
Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older.
**************************************************
It sounds like you are already using the family bed. Sadly, we kind of fell
into it, much like we fell into parenting. Moly was six weeks early and when
she came home she had to wear a belt of fiber optic lights to help her normalize
her bilirubin levels (she had a severe case of jaundice) she had to wear it
all the time, it was wrapped around her and fastened with Velcro. Then we had
to cocoon wrap her with blankets. (She glowed neon blue! We called her our glow
worm.) The doctors at the hospital kept telling me that I would probably have
to stop nursing her and I refused, so I kept her wrapped up in those lights
24-7. The thick cord that attached the belt to the machine which ran it was
awkward and short. We had an antique cradle that I kept by our bed and she slept
in with the lights and the warm, humming machine under it, for the first two
weeks she was home. I kept her in her crib at all times except for when I
nursed her or changed her, I was so afraid. I was barely 20 years old, my pregnancy
had been very difficult, Darin and I had been married barely 9 months when
she was born, the doctors scared me, telling me my milk was one of the things
keeping her levels high... All sorts of factors went into how I cared for her
those first few weeks.
When the lights went back to the hospital she started waking up more at night
and I couldn't figure out why. She had been a good sleeper right from the
start. Finally I realized that she had been lulled to sleep by the gentle hum of
the machine, the warmth and glow of the lights. So I began to keep her next to
me at night. It was easier, she nursed at will and I got to sleep. So you
could say that my desperate need for sleep, combined with absolutely no idea how
to care for an infant threw us into a family bed. Darin loved it! He loves how
babies smell, how warm they are, the soft, pretty noises they make. He would
put her on a pillow lengthwise beside him. He was so afraid he would roll over
on her! He would wrap an arm around the pillow and make this little nest for
her. I would just sigh gratefully and go to sleep until he nudged me awake to
feed her, and then she would be at my side the rest of the night. I gradually
got over my exhaustion and grew to love having her in bed with us too. She
never really left and when Jack came along we kept on with what was working.
They still at nine, almost ten, and seven, get into bed with us. Most nights
the kids put a movie on in our bedroom and fall asleep in our bed, then Darin
and I snuggle with them for a while and put them into their own beds or we
take turns sleeping on the couch and let the kids stay in our bed with one of us.
On nights that they don't start out in our bed, for certain reasons <g> by
three or four in the morning, they are back in bed with us. I love having them
there, I wouldn't have it any other way. I wish that things had been different
with Moly though.
I envy those of you who read all the books, knew what you wanted, had your
children later... Not that I regret ever having my kids, I just wish I had been
older, more mature, more prepared. I did choose to nurse, but only because my
own mother nursed me and my siblings. It was a *my mom did it this way, so
will I* decision, not a well thought out, conscious decision. I didn't actively
decide to nurse my kids for longer than a year until Moly was almost a year old
and I finally read a book on the subject. Up to that point I thought I would
wean her when she was around a year old, end of subject. So many things in our
life have been done more out of impulse-right-for-this-moment-in-time than wel
l thought out decisions, and that is the part I wish was different.
~Nancy
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered
whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Douglas Adams
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
seanachai3@... writes:
Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
explain a little? We had a crib, but the kids generally ended up in bed
with us until they were older.
**************************************************
It sounds like you are already using the family bed. Sadly, we kind of fell
into it, much like we fell into parenting. Moly was six weeks early and when
she came home she had to wear a belt of fiber optic lights to help her normalize
her bilirubin levels (she had a severe case of jaundice) she had to wear it
all the time, it was wrapped around her and fastened with Velcro. Then we had
to cocoon wrap her with blankets. (She glowed neon blue! We called her our glow
worm.) The doctors at the hospital kept telling me that I would probably have
to stop nursing her and I refused, so I kept her wrapped up in those lights
24-7. The thick cord that attached the belt to the machine which ran it was
awkward and short. We had an antique cradle that I kept by our bed and she slept
in with the lights and the warm, humming machine under it, for the first two
weeks she was home. I kept her in her crib at all times except for when I
nursed her or changed her, I was so afraid. I was barely 20 years old, my pregnancy
had been very difficult, Darin and I had been married barely 9 months when
she was born, the doctors scared me, telling me my milk was one of the things
keeping her levels high... All sorts of factors went into how I cared for her
those first few weeks.
When the lights went back to the hospital she started waking up more at night
and I couldn't figure out why. She had been a good sleeper right from the
start. Finally I realized that she had been lulled to sleep by the gentle hum of
the machine, the warmth and glow of the lights. So I began to keep her next to
me at night. It was easier, she nursed at will and I got to sleep. So you
could say that my desperate need for sleep, combined with absolutely no idea how
to care for an infant threw us into a family bed. Darin loved it! He loves how
babies smell, how warm they are, the soft, pretty noises they make. He would
put her on a pillow lengthwise beside him. He was so afraid he would roll over
on her! He would wrap an arm around the pillow and make this little nest for
her. I would just sigh gratefully and go to sleep until he nudged me awake to
feed her, and then she would be at my side the rest of the night. I gradually
got over my exhaustion and grew to love having her in bed with us too. She
never really left and when Jack came along we kept on with what was working.
They still at nine, almost ten, and seven, get into bed with us. Most nights
the kids put a movie on in our bedroom and fall asleep in our bed, then Darin
and I snuggle with them for a while and put them into their own beds or we
take turns sleeping on the couch and let the kids stay in our bed with one of us.
On nights that they don't start out in our bed, for certain reasons <g> by
three or four in the morning, they are back in bed with us. I love having them
there, I wouldn't have it any other way. I wish that things had been different
with Moly though.
I envy those of you who read all the books, knew what you wanted, had your
children later... Not that I regret ever having my kids, I just wish I had been
older, more mature, more prepared. I did choose to nurse, but only because my
own mother nursed me and my siblings. It was a *my mom did it this way, so
will I* decision, not a well thought out, conscious decision. I didn't actively
decide to nurse my kids for longer than a year until Moly was almost a year old
and I finally read a book on the subject. Up to that point I thought I would
wean her when she was around a year old, end of subject. So many things in our
life have been done more out of impulse-right-for-this-moment-in-time than wel
l thought out decisions, and that is the part I wish was different.
~Nancy
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered
whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Douglas Adams
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
glad2bmadly
Yes! That's it. I read it on loan from a pregnancy yoga center and then had to have an English in-law get in for me while visiting England. I'm glad it's more available now. Does she talk about the Continuum Concept at all? One book did and I was wracking my brain trying to remember if it was this one. Making that connection was very convincing for me.
Madeline
TreeGoddess <treegoddess@...> wrote:
glad2bmadly wrote:
book? It's available at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/039952729X/qid=1062594641/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-6247928-1481637?v=glance&s=books.
TreeGoddess
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Madeline
TreeGoddess <treegoddess@...> wrote:
glad2bmadly wrote:
>The best book I read about it is called, The Family Bed It is only published in the U.K.I have _The Family Bed_ by Tine Thevenin and it's great. Is that the
>
book? It's available at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/039952729X/qid=1062594641/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-6247928-1481637?v=glance&s=books.
TreeGoddess
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---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Could those of you who have a family bed, or don't/didn't use a crib
We used our crib money to buy a breast pump after my daughter was born and I
had to go back to work at 6 weeks (great experience actually, DH & I worked
opposite shifts to be home with her)
Family bed was originally my husband's demand. He slept with his mom and
loved the experience. Three of us fit fine in a queen sized bed (no bedframe).
When we became 4, we wedged a toddlerbed along side so we could *roll one out*
<g> when it got crowded. DH and both kids were the snugglers and I happily
slept alone in my 1/4 bed <g>. It was the easiest thing in the world with
nursing, one quickly becomes adept at *hookin' em up while snoozin".
Now that Mitch has died, of course I am so incredibly grateful they got to
have this wonderful, intimate experience with their dad (and as a two parent
family), and also that they still come snuggle in *our* bed and we relive the
*feeling* even though they may not have the actual *memories.* It gives a
wonderful sense of *all is right in the world* when we're all sleepy and snuggled
up... all are safe and loved.
diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
"You can follow your book and your map of wars, but I'll go and follow my
kids." -- Woody Guthrie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> explain a little?*************************************************
We used our crib money to buy a breast pump after my daughter was born and I
had to go back to work at 6 weeks (great experience actually, DH & I worked
opposite shifts to be home with her)
Family bed was originally my husband's demand. He slept with his mom and
loved the experience. Three of us fit fine in a queen sized bed (no bedframe).
When we became 4, we wedged a toddlerbed along side so we could *roll one out*
<g> when it got crowded. DH and both kids were the snugglers and I happily
slept alone in my 1/4 bed <g>. It was the easiest thing in the world with
nursing, one quickly becomes adept at *hookin' em up while snoozin".
Now that Mitch has died, of course I am so incredibly grateful they got to
have this wonderful, intimate experience with their dad (and as a two parent
family), and also that they still come snuggle in *our* bed and we relive the
*feeling* even though they may not have the actual *memories.* It gives a
wonderful sense of *all is right in the world* when we're all sleepy and snuggled
up... all are safe and loved.
diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
"You can follow your book and your map of wars, but I'll go and follow my
kids." -- Woody Guthrie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen McLaughlin
*** Now they only show up if they're scared or have bad dreams. Looking
back at
my own childhood, I'm really happy to see how few times they're scared. I
was
scared a lot and my parents never once let me come in with them. They
always
just made me go back to bed again, alone, in the same scary room.***
It just dawned on me, a short while ago, that my kids are very rarely scared
of anything. At almost-4 and almost-6, they have never had nightmares, they
aren't afraid of big dogs, spiders, thunder or
things-that-go-bump-in-the-night. Occasionally, they will say that a certain
part of a movie scares them, and they will either not watch that part, or
come sit in my lap (if they're not already there) to make it through the
scary part (although I think I'm more afraid of the Green Goblin than either
of my kids <g>). This is one tangible gift that I can see I've given them.
On the days when I think I'm a lousy mom, that I don't have a clue what I'm
doing, that all those dire predictions of my relatives will come to pass, I
can take some satisfaction in knowing that my kids have never experienced
the horrible night terrors and nightmares that I lived through, or laid
awake in bed half the night scared to breath, knowing that they weren't
welcome in mom and dad's bed (sleeping with my parents was *definitely* out
of the question!) Oh, and of course my mom believed in "letting me scream it
out" rather than picking me up (I know this as she was totally horrified
that I hardly ever put my babies down and never let them cry themselves to
sleep). By the time she finally figured out we let the kids sleep in our
bed, she must have assumed we were "too far gone" to be put right, as she
didn't give me a battle about that one <g>.
Karen
back at
my own childhood, I'm really happy to see how few times they're scared. I
was
scared a lot and my parents never once let me come in with them. They
always
just made me go back to bed again, alone, in the same scary room.***
It just dawned on me, a short while ago, that my kids are very rarely scared
of anything. At almost-4 and almost-6, they have never had nightmares, they
aren't afraid of big dogs, spiders, thunder or
things-that-go-bump-in-the-night. Occasionally, they will say that a certain
part of a movie scares them, and they will either not watch that part, or
come sit in my lap (if they're not already there) to make it through the
scary part (although I think I'm more afraid of the Green Goblin than either
of my kids <g>). This is one tangible gift that I can see I've given them.
On the days when I think I'm a lousy mom, that I don't have a clue what I'm
doing, that all those dire predictions of my relatives will come to pass, I
can take some satisfaction in knowing that my kids have never experienced
the horrible night terrors and nightmares that I lived through, or laid
awake in bed half the night scared to breath, knowing that they weren't
welcome in mom and dad's bed (sleeping with my parents was *definitely* out
of the question!) Oh, and of course my mom believed in "letting me scream it
out" rather than picking me up (I know this as she was totally horrified
that I hardly ever put my babies down and never let them cry themselves to
sleep). By the time she finally figured out we let the kids sleep in our
bed, she must have assumed we were "too far gone" to be put right, as she
didn't give me a battle about that one <g>.
Karen
[email protected]
In a message dated 03/09/2003 11:31:43 Pacific Daylight Time, Dnowens@...
writes:
smells of my babies back for me. What a lucky family you have that you did
what your mom did.
Nancy in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> Darin loved it! He loves howNancy, that was a lovely post!! It really brought the sounds, feelings and
> babies smell, how warm they are, the soft, pretty noises they make. He would
>
> put her on a pillow lengthwise beside him. He was so afraid he would roll
> over
> on her! He would wrap an arm around the pillow and make this little nest for
>
> her. I would just sigh gratefully and go to sleep until he nudged me awake
> to
> feed her, and then she would be at my side the rest of the night. I
> gradually
> got over my exhaustion and grew to love having her in bed with us too. She
> never really left and when Jack came along we kept on with what was working
smells of my babies back for me. What a lucky family you have that you did
what your mom did.
Nancy in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 9/3/03 10:10 PM, Karen McLaughlin at karenmcl@... wrote:
fears on them since I don't think fears are entirely caused by parenting and
environment. Some of it's genetic.
(Just wanted to reassure anyone who is cosleeping and whose child is still
fearful.)
My daughter at 12 still sleeps next to our bed and gets the heebie jeebies
about going upstairs or downstairs alone. Always has. (I remember getting a
creepy feeling going into the basement like something was going to jump on
me so I understand what she feels. I had no environmental reason to feel
that way. It was a finished basement so wasn't creepy. I didn't have bratty
siblings who thought it was fun to jump out at me. The feeling was still
there in college but disappeared sometime after that.)
She's nervous about thunderstorms and some things she can't control like
when her father's late getting home.
She doesn't have nightmares and I'd suspect sleeping with us prevent the
ones that sleeping unwilling alone can cause. But some kids are born
sensitive to some situations.
Joyce
> It just dawned on me, a short while ago, that my kids are very rarely scaredMaybe it's more accurate to say that you haven't artificially imposed any
> of anything. At almost-4 and almost-6, they have never had nightmares, they
> aren't afraid of big dogs, spiders, thunder or
> things-that-go-bump-in-the-night. ... This is one tangible gift that I can see
> I've given them.
fears on them since I don't think fears are entirely caused by parenting and
environment. Some of it's genetic.
(Just wanted to reassure anyone who is cosleeping and whose child is still
fearful.)
My daughter at 12 still sleeps next to our bed and gets the heebie jeebies
about going upstairs or downstairs alone. Always has. (I remember getting a
creepy feeling going into the basement like something was going to jump on
me so I understand what she feels. I had no environmental reason to feel
that way. It was a finished basement so wasn't creepy. I didn't have bratty
siblings who thought it was fun to jump out at me. The feeling was still
there in college but disappeared sometime after that.)
She's nervous about thunderstorms and some things she can't control like
when her father's late getting home.
She doesn't have nightmares and I'd suspect sleeping with us prevent the
ones that sleeping unwilling alone can cause. But some kids are born
sensitive to some situations.
Joyce
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/3/2003 5:56:48 PM Central Standard Time,
HaHaMommy@... writes:
bring him to nurse. He was the first to hear the poor baby. I would roll over,
Nathan would latch on and then we'd all fall asleep again. It wasn't long
before we decided to skip the first step and just let Nathan fall asleep with us.
When Julia came along, Nathan was only just a year old, so we all slept
together for a while. The kids gradually moved to their own beds, or started there
and came back in the night. Nathan, now five, regularly gets up in the night
and sleeps on his mat by our bed. He's decided to sleep there because
"Lovey", the baby due in January, is taking too much room and I need lots of
pillows. Julia rarely wakes up at night. Mark falls asleep with her first and then
comes to our bed. It works out great. Our crib has been used mostly for
napping. I guess we'll bring it up from the basement for the new baby.
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
HaHaMommy@... writes:
> It was the easiest thing in the world withI so agree with this! Mark used to get up when Nathan cried at night to
> nursing, one quickly becomes adept at *hookin' em up while snoozin".
bring him to nurse. He was the first to hear the poor baby. I would roll over,
Nathan would latch on and then we'd all fall asleep again. It wasn't long
before we decided to skip the first step and just let Nathan fall asleep with us.
When Julia came along, Nathan was only just a year old, so we all slept
together for a while. The kids gradually moved to their own beds, or started there
and came back in the night. Nathan, now five, regularly gets up in the night
and sleeps on his mat by our bed. He's decided to sleep there because
"Lovey", the baby due in January, is taking too much room and I need lots of
pillows. Julia rarely wakes up at night. Mark falls asleep with her first and then
comes to our bed. It works out great. Our crib has been used mostly for
napping. I guess we'll bring it up from the basement for the new baby.
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/4/03 7:17:29 AM, fetteroll@... writes:
<< Maybe it's more accurate to say that you haven't artificially imposed any
fears on them since I don't think fears are entirely caused by parenting and
environment. Some of it's genetic. >>
Some kids ARE more sensitive, but even tough kids with no genetic
propensities can develop sets of fears to make up for their having been "put to bed"
alone in the dark when they were very young mammals who should NOT have been stuck
in a hole, in a cave, alone for eight or ten hours, EVER.
I still "need" to sleep covered up to the neck to be safe to go to sleep. I
can't fall asleep with any part of me except my head uncovered. I have to
close the closet door. I'm not "afraid" of anything, but I developed my own
self-comfort routines and they're still necessary.
Last night I slept with Holly. She's in an upstairs room, there's a
streetlight across the cul-de-sac, and a tree was moving, a little, and it made a
really pretty pattern on her wall. I said "Your tree shadow is really pretty."
She talked about liking to trace shadows, and that when she was little she
used to sit behind the shed and trace the pattern of the shadow of the top of
the clipboard.
When I was little, moving tree shadows were really scary.
Sandra
<< Maybe it's more accurate to say that you haven't artificially imposed any
fears on them since I don't think fears are entirely caused by parenting and
environment. Some of it's genetic. >>
Some kids ARE more sensitive, but even tough kids with no genetic
propensities can develop sets of fears to make up for their having been "put to bed"
alone in the dark when they were very young mammals who should NOT have been stuck
in a hole, in a cave, alone for eight or ten hours, EVER.
I still "need" to sleep covered up to the neck to be safe to go to sleep. I
can't fall asleep with any part of me except my head uncovered. I have to
close the closet door. I'm not "afraid" of anything, but I developed my own
self-comfort routines and they're still necessary.
Last night I slept with Holly. She's in an upstairs room, there's a
streetlight across the cul-de-sac, and a tree was moving, a little, and it made a
really pretty pattern on her wall. I said "Your tree shadow is really pretty."
She talked about liking to trace shadows, and that when she was little she
used to sit behind the shed and trace the pattern of the shadow of the top of
the clipboard.
When I was little, moving tree shadows were really scary.
Sandra
glad2bmadly
I, too, have to be completely covered to my neck to be able to sleep, even on the hottest GA nights! I thought it was due to having watched a really scary movie called "Child's Play" when I was a child (it was an adult movie that I went to w/ my mother and her boyfriend). But thinking about it now, if I had been allowed to go to her room when I was scared at night, the fear of someone shooting a noose at me from the door (this happened in the movie) would have probably disappeared. Everything scared me at night, alone in bed. Every scream of a cat or a human from the Boston allys, every growl of the radiator, the shadows on the ceiling and walls... I am so glad that my children won't have to experience this terror. Or if they ever do, we will be right there for them. Some of our best conversations have happened in the dark in bed, or in a car in the dark, driving home. The dark doesn't frighten them, which is amazing to me.
Madeline
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 9/4/03 7:17:29 AM, fetteroll@... writes:
<< Maybe it's more accurate to say that you haven't artificially imposed any
fears on them since I don't think fears are entirely caused by parenting and
environment. Some of it's genetic. >>
Some kids ARE more sensitive, but even tough kids with no genetic
propensities can develop sets of fears to make up for their having been "put to bed"
alone in the dark when they were very young mammals who should NOT have been stuck
in a hole, in a cave, alone for eight or ten hours, EVER.
I still "need" to sleep covered up to the neck to be safe to go to sleep. I
can't fall asleep with any part of me except my head uncovered. I have to
close the closet door. I'm not "afraid" of anything, but I developed my own
self-comfort routines and they're still necessary.
Last night I slept with Holly. She's in an upstairs room, there's a
streetlight across the cul-de-sac, and a tree was moving, a little, and it made a
really pretty pattern on her wall. I said "Your tree shadow is really pretty."
She talked about liking to trace shadows, and that when she was little she
used to sit behind the shed and trace the pattern of the shadow of the top of
the clipboard.
When I was little, moving tree shadows were really scary.
Sandra
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Madeline
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 9/4/03 7:17:29 AM, fetteroll@... writes:
<< Maybe it's more accurate to say that you haven't artificially imposed any
fears on them since I don't think fears are entirely caused by parenting and
environment. Some of it's genetic. >>
Some kids ARE more sensitive, but even tough kids with no genetic
propensities can develop sets of fears to make up for their having been "put to bed"
alone in the dark when they were very young mammals who should NOT have been stuck
in a hole, in a cave, alone for eight or ten hours, EVER.
I still "need" to sleep covered up to the neck to be safe to go to sleep. I
can't fall asleep with any part of me except my head uncovered. I have to
close the closet door. I'm not "afraid" of anything, but I developed my own
self-comfort routines and they're still necessary.
Last night I slept with Holly. She's in an upstairs room, there's a
streetlight across the cul-de-sac, and a tree was moving, a little, and it made a
really pretty pattern on her wall. I said "Your tree shadow is really pretty."
She talked about liking to trace shadows, and that when she was little she
used to sit behind the shed and trace the pattern of the shadow of the top of
the clipboard.
When I was little, moving tree shadows were really scary.
Sandra
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]