Sonia Ulan

Hi Jodye;

Ohhhhh, I do love pregnancy, labour, birthing and baby stories. No, you
did not go on, I was totally absorbed with your story/situation.
Congratulations to you for being such a fully-participatory Mom, that
you researched shoulder dystocia. I had never heard of it. Now I know,
so thanks for the service you've provided. It is amazing how vulnerable
we are in the hospital/doctor scenario. We are, after all, on their
turf. Have you tried chiropractic care at all? I can't say I'm a huge
fan (yet) of chiropractors, but I do know a female chiropractor who does
do adjustments on infants. Apparently, it's a little known fact a lot
of infants are born out of alignment and it does affect feeding on one
side. I trust this woman's knowledge as she has done research and
specializes in women and infant care...I've even figured what the heck,
I'll give this stuff a try, and so far so good. (I'm not sure if this
is helpful for you as you've said it's a nerve-thing, but who knows. It
might be worth considering.)

By the way, at the risk of flogging a dead horse, (I really hate that
term, but am too unimaginative to come up with something better!) I'd
really like to take this opportunity to clarify my stance regarding the
breastfeeding issue. I feel like I've been raked over the burning hot
coals needlessly as I've been grossly misunderstood...Granted, I do feel
very strongly about the issue, (like that wasn't obvious!) and I do
believe in people informing themselves and getting the facts concerning
ALL parenting issues, (I think we owe our kids that committment to
knowledge, from birth), however, I am also an intelligent realist who
fully recognizes the extenuating circumstances that may exist our lives.
As a matter of fact, I had HORRIBLE challenges and problems with
breastfeeding my first-born. He was "this close" to being bottle-fed
himself. I was lacking in information though and thankfully found a
phenomenal nurse who was able to get me on a different track and it made
all the difference. During pregnancy, I was prepared to breastfeed but
got so easily off-track thanks to hospital policy and "well-meaning"
in-laws etc...So I just wanted to encourage those who do not have
physical handicaps, serious illnesses, abusive husbands, etc. that
so-called "inconveniences", challenges and other stresses can be
overcome most of the time, if we just dig deep enough to get the
available help.

So I apologize at this time, to those I offended unwittingly, who
suffered those exceptional and rare circumstances and were unable to
breastfeed. Of course there is need for bottle-feeding in the minority
of situations. Just like a medication, formula is a pharmaceutical.
And I'm happy it has been available for those who truly need it. It was
not my desire to "Judge" bottle-feeding parents (which I don't), I did
not insult those who bottlefeed, nor would I ever confront anyone who
has made that decision. I have had many friends/acquaintances over the
years who have bottlefed and I have had complete respect for them as
parents and have never embarrassed myself or them in that way.

So I am hoping I am forgiven, as I'm in a continual quest for knowledge
like we all are,

Sonia

JodyeB1@... wrote:
>
> I definitely learned the hard way on this one. I can't blame the doctor
> entirely for my decision not to breastfeed. Afterall, I like to think I'm a
> fairly intelligent person - I could have looked for answers elsewhere. Maybe
> I didn't care enough about breastfeeding at the time to make the effort - I
> really can't remember the circumstances exactly. I do know that I was most
> certainly too trusting of doctors. That was ten years ago, and I'm sorry to
> say that I remained too trusting until 14 months ago when my youngest child
> was born.
>
> My first daughter was delivered by c-section 12 years ago. I wanted to
> have the next one vaginally, so I chose a doctor who would be open to that
> when I became pregnant with my second child. The delivery went okay - major
> tearing, but my son was a healthy 8 1/2 pounder. The next baby was also born
> vaginally. That delivery didn't go so well - my daughter was stuck (shoulder
> dystocia) although I didn't know it at the time. Actually, I didn't know it
> until almost five years later when my youngest was born. Luckily, the doctor
> was able to turn her and she was delivered healthy, weighing 8lbs 6oz. Major
> tearing again.
>
> My fourth child was born exactly 14 months ago tomorrow. My pregnancy with
> her was pretty uneventful - I did gain a lot of weight, but the all knowing
> doctor never said anything about it, so I assumed it was no problem. Two
> days past my due date the doctor decided to induce labor. He had induced the
> last two because he didn't want the babies to get over 8 1/2 pounds - he
> didn't think I could deliver one any bigger. He'd already told me that the
> baby I was carrying was in the 9 pound range, so things weren't adding up.
> But I TRUSTED him, afterall he's the doctor. My labor with the fourth one
> seemed different from the start. At one point I heard the nurse talking to
> the doctor on the phone. She told him that she thought he neede to come
> right away. But did he? NO. He came about 45 minutes or an hour later.
> The nurse had just discovered that "this baby's head is way bigger than I
> thought". But her head wasn't the worst part - it was her shoulders.
> Shoulder dystocia again...only this time I don't remember him trying the
> fancy turns or maneuveres. She was STUCK! So, the doctor put a nurse on
> each side of me, to pull my legs as far back as they possibly could. I had
> two other nurses on top of me, pushing on my belly with all their might. And
> the doctor had the vacuum extractor hooked to my baby's head and was pulling
> so hard that later my husband told me " I thought he was going to pull her
> damn head off"! He said it was the scariest thing he's ever seen. Well, we
> got the baby out. She weighed 9 1/2 pounds. She was a funny blue color, and
> she didn't breathe for what seemed like forever. I'll never forget the sound
> of her first cry, or the tears of relief in my sweet husband's eyes, or her
> wonderful new baby smell. But somehow I failed to notice that her left arm
> was hanging limp. I didn't even realize it until late that night. No one
> told us she was hurt, and when we figured it out nobody would tell us what
> the problem was. We didn't fully understand what had happened until we got
> home and began our own research. My daughter, Tess has a brachial plexus
> injury. Maybe some of you know what that is, but I had never heard of it
> until she was born. The brachial plexus is the bundle of nerves found in the
> shoulder area. The nerves are the ones that control muscle function in the
> arm. The nerves that control Tess's bicep and deltoid muscles were torn.
> The tricep nerve was also injured, but not as seriously. There is a
> wonderful clinic in Houston, Texas where they specialize in brachial plexus
> injuries. We've traveled there several times, and she had surgery at Texas
> Children's Hospital last September to graft the torn nerves, using bits of
> nerve taken from her leg. We were told by her pediatrician that there is
> nothing that can be done for nerve injuries. We had to learn everything we
> know about it on our own.
>
> Tess also has mild hypotonia (low muscle tone) probably due do a slight lack
> of oxygen, and hip dysplasia, which will hopefully be resolved soon. My
> daughter was perfectly healthy up until the moment she was born. She was
> PERFECT. And now thanks to some know it all, egotistical, rushing to the
> golf course doctor she's injured for life. Oh, they can fix her up (or, so
> they say) but even with the best recovery, she'll never be the way she
> should have been. And here's the really sad part...it all could have been
> prevented. All the warning signs were there - previous shoulder dystocia,
> large weight gain, big baby etc... See why I'll never again take a doctor's
> word on anything? I'll question them every step of the way - it could be a
> matter of life and death. What a way to learn a lesson.
>
> I know I've gone on way too long here, and for that I'm very sorry. I'm not
> even sure if I made the point I set out to make - I got kind of side tracked.
> But it's late, and I'm much too tired to change anything now. Goodnight.
>
> Jodye
>
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