had a crappy day
Tim and Maureen
I am feeling low and feeling like an unschooling freak. Today we went to the swimming pool. Normally we don't go when school is out because I have kids sensitive to noise, lights, and crowds. They are also sensitive to the teasing, bullying that can happen with strangers.
We were in line for a ride on a water toy and two kids kept pushing in front of us and others. My kids and niece told them to stop then after numerous times of being ignored I stepped in. After arguing with me they finally backed down. But they were angry so they made quiet subtle remarks about my daughters weight. They were brother and sister and kept pushing each other, yelling and fighting. This became to much for my daughter(13) so she moved away. Mt son was having an unforeseen hypoglycaemic moment and was bursting into tears easily so I decided to get him out and take him home and come back for the others later. He is also overweight and this has started to be noticed by others only recently(he is 11). In the changeroom some boys from the YMCA day program came in and started laughing at him because he was naked. He held it together until we got in the car.This was painful and sad for both of us and sometimes I just get exhausted feeling from his moments of not coping well and then to have this on top of it really hit me hard today. When I went back to pick up the other kids my other son had to leave in his swim gear cause his shoes and clothes were taken. Yikes!!! Having highly sensitive children is hard enough, being an unschooler already leaves me feeling different and sometimes isolated and then all this. I am sure tomorrow will look better but today was really a bummer.
Maureen
Tim and Maureen Thomas
http://www.stillwaters.ca
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We were in line for a ride on a water toy and two kids kept pushing in front of us and others. My kids and niece told them to stop then after numerous times of being ignored I stepped in. After arguing with me they finally backed down. But they were angry so they made quiet subtle remarks about my daughters weight. They were brother and sister and kept pushing each other, yelling and fighting. This became to much for my daughter(13) so she moved away. Mt son was having an unforeseen hypoglycaemic moment and was bursting into tears easily so I decided to get him out and take him home and come back for the others later. He is also overweight and this has started to be noticed by others only recently(he is 11). In the changeroom some boys from the YMCA day program came in and started laughing at him because he was naked. He held it together until we got in the car.This was painful and sad for both of us and sometimes I just get exhausted feeling from his moments of not coping well and then to have this on top of it really hit me hard today. When I went back to pick up the other kids my other son had to leave in his swim gear cause his shoes and clothes were taken. Yikes!!! Having highly sensitive children is hard enough, being an unschooler already leaves me feeling different and sometimes isolated and then all this. I am sure tomorrow will look better but today was really a bummer.
Maureen
Tim and Maureen Thomas
http://www.stillwaters.ca
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Deborah Lewis
*** today was really a bummer.***
If your kids were going to school they'd be faced with that kind of thing
every day.
Your kids will be ok because their home is a sanctuary from that sea of
emotional injury at school. If they were constant victims of it at
school it could wound them deeply, but you've given your kids a better
life where they've had minimal exposure to the meanness and harassment.
They'll be ok.
***I have kids sensitive to noise, lights, and crowds. They are also
sensitive to the teasing, bullying that can happen with strangers.***
Any sensible person is sensitive to those things! You know, it should be
considered normal for people to be sensitive to and upset by mean natured
teasing and bullying from anyone, not just strangers. Instead, at
school, that behavior is considered normal. Many of the kids taking
that crap at school have parents who've told them it's normal and
everyone goes through it. I'd say your kids are damn smart and well
adjusted. And a parent who recognizes that behavior as abusive and
protects her kids from it is too.
Deb L
If your kids were going to school they'd be faced with that kind of thing
every day.
Your kids will be ok because their home is a sanctuary from that sea of
emotional injury at school. If they were constant victims of it at
school it could wound them deeply, but you've given your kids a better
life where they've had minimal exposure to the meanness and harassment.
They'll be ok.
***I have kids sensitive to noise, lights, and crowds. They are also
sensitive to the teasing, bullying that can happen with strangers.***
Any sensible person is sensitive to those things! You know, it should be
considered normal for people to be sensitive to and upset by mean natured
teasing and bullying from anyone, not just strangers. Instead, at
school, that behavior is considered normal. Many of the kids taking
that crap at school have parents who've told them it's normal and
everyone goes through it. I'd say your kids are damn smart and well
adjusted. And a parent who recognizes that behavior as abusive and
protects her kids from it is too.
Deb L
Barb Eaton
{{{{{{Maureen & Family}}}}}}}}}}}}
[email protected]
That was definitely a totally crappy day. Crappy for the whole family.
Just take comfort in the fact that your children do not have to have days that
suck like that all the time. I am sending warm wishes for more WONDERFUL
days ahead. :-)
You know, I feel ya, 3 of my children are overweight ( as am I) My children
still feel very self conscious about thier weight.. even among friends and
family, they are reluctant to wear a bathing suite ( esp my 13 yo daughter)
Although they have all endured some teasing at school about thier weight, no
one has ever DARED to tease them in front of me. Maybe they are afraid I would
sit on them.. LOL. That was some audacity for those kids to be so rude with
a parent accompanying the children. Usually the bullies do all the bullying
behind adults' backs. I honestly do not know how I would have handled that
situation. Probably not good. some kid would probably have gotten an earful
from me.
Look forward to brighter days.. soon the school kids will be back in school..
and you can enjoy the water park( and other kid attracting activities) to
your hearts content! School started back last week here, and we all celebrated!
YAYYY, schools back, schools back! LOL.. first time we have ever been happy
to see it come around.
Teresa
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Just take comfort in the fact that your children do not have to have days that
suck like that all the time. I am sending warm wishes for more WONDERFUL
days ahead. :-)
You know, I feel ya, 3 of my children are overweight ( as am I) My children
still feel very self conscious about thier weight.. even among friends and
family, they are reluctant to wear a bathing suite ( esp my 13 yo daughter)
Although they have all endured some teasing at school about thier weight, no
one has ever DARED to tease them in front of me. Maybe they are afraid I would
sit on them.. LOL. That was some audacity for those kids to be so rude with
a parent accompanying the children. Usually the bullies do all the bullying
behind adults' backs. I honestly do not know how I would have handled that
situation. Probably not good. some kid would probably have gotten an earful
from me.
Look forward to brighter days.. soon the school kids will be back in school..
and you can enjoy the water park( and other kid attracting activities) to
your hearts content! School started back last week here, and we all celebrated!
YAYYY, schools back, schools back! LOL.. first time we have ever been happy
to see it come around.
Teresa
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Tim and Maureen
Thank you for the kind and supportive replies.It is the next day and of course I feel a little bit better. My son is watching TV and just asked me how many days are in a year. He is trying to figure out how many hours he has been on this earth. You just never know where the learning is going to take place. This life is just so darn cool. My kids and I had a discussion about different ways we could have handled the unkindness we encountered. I confronted it and even doing that did not ensure that we were heard and respected. One daughter had different biting remarks we could have used, one son suggested just ignoring and walking away, another suggested asking the lifeguard for help....It gave us lots to think about and we concluded you had to decide what would leave you feeling the best at the end and that it might be different each time and for each person..
Thanks for hearing me.
Maureen
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Thanks for hearing me.
Maureen
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[email protected]
tmthomas@... writes:
kids did, too. Hug them a lot for me, ok? ;-)
As time goes on, maybe you won't feel so isolated and different. I've always
stuggled with those feelings too, as I have always been a strange one,
myself. We're always here on list for you, don't forget!
You'll become more confident in the path. ( This I got from my spiritual
life, but that lesson has leaked into unschooling) You'll know what you are, and
what you're doing, and that it's all good. Even days like you had are
experiences you and the kids will learn from. That's unschooling for you, you can't
choose the lessons :-)
I have to say, thank goodness they're not in schools, dealing with these
kinds of situations every day. Your kids will be safe with you at home, and
can process these painful experiences, and hopefully move on. In my life, when
I came home crying from being bullied and made fun of, my mom cried with me,
but sent me back to school the next day. Blessings to you for knowing and
acting on other options!
~Aimee
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> When I went back to pick up the other kids my other son had to leave in hisHugs, Maureen. I'm sorry, not only that you had a bad day, but that your
> swim gear cause his shoes and clothes were taken. Yikes!!! Having highly
> sensitive children is hard enough, being an unschooler already leaves me feeling
> different and sometimes isolated and then all this. I am sure tomorrow will
> look better but today was really a bummer.
>
> Maureen
kids did, too. Hug them a lot for me, ok? ;-)
As time goes on, maybe you won't feel so isolated and different. I've always
stuggled with those feelings too, as I have always been a strange one,
myself. We're always here on list for you, don't forget!
You'll become more confident in the path. ( This I got from my spiritual
life, but that lesson has leaked into unschooling) You'll know what you are, and
what you're doing, and that it's all good. Even days like you had are
experiences you and the kids will learn from. That's unschooling for you, you can't
choose the lessons :-)
I have to say, thank goodness they're not in schools, dealing with these
kinds of situations every day. Your kids will be safe with you at home, and
can process these painful experiences, and hopefully move on. In my life, when
I came home crying from being bullied and made fun of, my mom cried with me,
but sent me back to school the next day. Blessings to you for knowing and
acting on other options!
~Aimee
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