RUL discussion
Pamela Sorooshian
I stayed out of the recent discussion about this list and Sandra and
others - on the RUL list, just read quietly, because it seemed
pointless to me, I couldn't figure out what good I could do by saying
anything at all - seemed anything I said would just add fuel to the
firestorm which was already out of control.
But I was then left feeling I'd not done right - not stood up to be
counted and thereby let stand some things that should have been
corrected - some things that I do have firsthand knowledge of and could
have corrected.
There was commentary by a couple of people, at least one who was just
guessing based on things people had posted there on that list, that
Sandra seems more "enlightened" in her writing in magazines and in her
conference talks than the way they see her behaving on email lists.
They questioned whether or not Sandra would admit she is still learning.
Sandra and her family have stayed at my house and I've stayed at her
house and we've been at conferences together as well as other
homeschool activities like park days and field trips. She is an
extraordinarily kind and gentle person who absolutely FULLY lives what
she writes. She is excruciatingly honest. She has talked, online,
frequently about what she, herself, is still learning. She has talked
about her own mistakes and her own regrets and weaknesses. She
questions and examines her own behavior constantly. She has never held
herself up as perfect - just as certain as one can be that "unschooling
works."
Sandra has a tremendous amount of personal integrity and cares very
deeply about all children. She lays bare her own family's experiences,
both good and bad, in great detail, in her published columns in HEM as
well as online on email lists and on the unschooling-dotcom message
boards and on her website. Sandra attracts "followers" because some
people feel a very strong attraction to someone who gets right to the
heart of matters and says exactly what she thinks - she's not
infallible, of course, but she is very often absolutely right on target
in her perceptions and often says just the right thing to shake someone
out of whatever kind of box they might have been stuck in. She helps
many of us push out our own boundaries and we are braver and stronger
and our children are healthier and happier because of what she helped
us see and learn.
That same insightfulness combined with directness and very very literal
writing, always saying exactly what she means, clearly is not
appreciated by all. I just wish that when they don't like it, they'd
just ignore it and I especially wish that other people would
investigate for themselves and not be influenced by the backbiting and
not repeat things when they have no firsthand knowledge.
So - that's my personal testimony - not the first time many of you have
heard it. I have nothing to gain by defending Sandra, nothing other
than my own sense of doing the right thing. We met online - she shook
me up and my life has never been the same. I pay her back by doing my
own work - speaking, writing, and helping other parents give their
children the gifts that unschooling can bring. That's all she cares
about - she's not in competition with anybody, not out for power for
herself, just for the ideas - the principles - of unschooling.
Sandra exemplifies selfless devotion to making the world a better place
for as many children as she can. And she doesn't deserve to be raked
over the coals for it.
-pam
others - on the RUL list, just read quietly, because it seemed
pointless to me, I couldn't figure out what good I could do by saying
anything at all - seemed anything I said would just add fuel to the
firestorm which was already out of control.
But I was then left feeling I'd not done right - not stood up to be
counted and thereby let stand some things that should have been
corrected - some things that I do have firsthand knowledge of and could
have corrected.
There was commentary by a couple of people, at least one who was just
guessing based on things people had posted there on that list, that
Sandra seems more "enlightened" in her writing in magazines and in her
conference talks than the way they see her behaving on email lists.
They questioned whether or not Sandra would admit she is still learning.
Sandra and her family have stayed at my house and I've stayed at her
house and we've been at conferences together as well as other
homeschool activities like park days and field trips. She is an
extraordinarily kind and gentle person who absolutely FULLY lives what
she writes. She is excruciatingly honest. She has talked, online,
frequently about what she, herself, is still learning. She has talked
about her own mistakes and her own regrets and weaknesses. She
questions and examines her own behavior constantly. She has never held
herself up as perfect - just as certain as one can be that "unschooling
works."
Sandra has a tremendous amount of personal integrity and cares very
deeply about all children. She lays bare her own family's experiences,
both good and bad, in great detail, in her published columns in HEM as
well as online on email lists and on the unschooling-dotcom message
boards and on her website. Sandra attracts "followers" because some
people feel a very strong attraction to someone who gets right to the
heart of matters and says exactly what she thinks - she's not
infallible, of course, but she is very often absolutely right on target
in her perceptions and often says just the right thing to shake someone
out of whatever kind of box they might have been stuck in. She helps
many of us push out our own boundaries and we are braver and stronger
and our children are healthier and happier because of what she helped
us see and learn.
That same insightfulness combined with directness and very very literal
writing, always saying exactly what she means, clearly is not
appreciated by all. I just wish that when they don't like it, they'd
just ignore it and I especially wish that other people would
investigate for themselves and not be influenced by the backbiting and
not repeat things when they have no firsthand knowledge.
So - that's my personal testimony - not the first time many of you have
heard it. I have nothing to gain by defending Sandra, nothing other
than my own sense of doing the right thing. We met online - she shook
me up and my life has never been the same. I pay her back by doing my
own work - speaking, writing, and helping other parents give their
children the gifts that unschooling can bring. That's all she cares
about - she's not in competition with anybody, not out for power for
herself, just for the ideas - the principles - of unschooling.
Sandra exemplifies selfless devotion to making the world a better place
for as many children as she can. And she doesn't deserve to be raked
over the coals for it.
-pam
Nancy Liedel
Pamela,
It was admirable for you to stand up for someone you so much admire and I
thought it was well put and interesting. I want to point out tho that people
make up their minds about things and people and oftentimes will not budge.
Call it human nature, call it "nothing can be that good" syndrome but it is
very hard to change mental images once they are ingrained.
I see it in religion all the time the people that work with me are often
zealots in some of their beliefs I think it makes us feel like we are
"protected" if we do not re-think our positions. I am not condoning this
behavior, merely noting that it exists.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It was admirable for you to stand up for someone you so much admire and I
thought it was well put and interesting. I want to point out tho that people
make up their minds about things and people and oftentimes will not budge.
Call it human nature, call it "nothing can be that good" syndrome but it is
very hard to change mental images once they are ingrained.
I see it in religion all the time the people that work with me are often
zealots in some of their beliefs I think it makes us feel like we are
"protected" if we do not re-think our positions. I am not condoning this
behavior, merely noting that it exists.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
coyote's corner
Thank you for this Pam. I very much appreciate your courage in bringing this up. Your actions are a testimony to your integrity.
It is good for me to hear others opinions.
Janis
It is good for me to hear others opinions.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: Pamela Sorooshian
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, August 06, 2003 11:36 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-Discussion] RUL discussion
I stayed out of the recent discussion about this list and Sandra and
others - on the RUL list, just read quietly, because it seemed
pointless to me, I couldn't figure out what good I could do by saying
anything at all - seemed anything I said would just add fuel to the
firestorm which was already out of control.
But I was then left feeling I'd not done right - not stood up to be
counted and thereby let stand some things that should have been
corrected - some things that I do have firsthand knowledge of and could
have corrected.
There was commentary by a couple of people, at least one who was just
guessing based on things people had posted there on that list, that
Sandra seems more "enlightened" in her writing in magazines and in her
conference talks than the way they see her behaving on email lists.
They questioned whether or not Sandra would admit she is still learning.
Sandra and her family have stayed at my house and I've stayed at her
house and we've been at conferences together as well as other
homeschool activities like park days and field trips. She is an
extraordinarily kind and gentle person who absolutely FULLY lives what
she writes. She is excruciatingly honest. She has talked, online,
frequently about what she, herself, is still learning. She has talked
about her own mistakes and her own regrets and weaknesses. She
questions and examines her own behavior constantly. She has never held
herself up as perfect - just as certain as one can be that "unschooling
works."
Sandra has a tremendous amount of personal integrity and cares very
deeply about all children. She lays bare her own family's experiences,
both good and bad, in great detail, in her published columns in HEM as
well as online on email lists and on the unschooling-dotcom message
boards and on her website. Sandra attracts "followers" because some
people feel a very strong attraction to someone who gets right to the
heart of matters and says exactly what she thinks - she's not
infallible, of course, but she is very often absolutely right on target
in her perceptions and often says just the right thing to shake someone
out of whatever kind of box they might have been stuck in. She helps
many of us push out our own boundaries and we are braver and stronger
and our children are healthier and happier because of what she helped
us see and learn.
That same insightfulness combined with directness and very very literal
writing, always saying exactly what she means, clearly is not
appreciated by all. I just wish that when they don't like it, they'd
just ignore it and I especially wish that other people would
investigate for themselves and not be influenced by the backbiting and
not repeat things when they have no firsthand knowledge.
So - that's my personal testimony - not the first time many of you have
heard it. I have nothing to gain by defending Sandra, nothing other
than my own sense of doing the right thing. We met online - she shook
me up and my life has never been the same. I pay her back by doing my
own work - speaking, writing, and helping other parents give their
children the gifts that unschooling can bring. That's all she cares
about - she's not in competition with anybody, not out for power for
herself, just for the ideas - the principles - of unschooling.
Sandra exemplifies selfless devotion to making the world a better place
for as many children as she can. And she doesn't deserve to be raked
over the coals for it.
-pam
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