name calling
[email protected]
"On another network" it is being claimed that on this list people are
"called names."
I've been called names. But usually by people who aren't being very
rational, so I don't take it personally.
Does anyone have any "names" people have been called to throw out here so we
can consider whether that claim is true?
The claim was (I think, from what I was forwarded) that the main core of
people here (? or just me? me and some?) call people names, and that it's all in
the archives.
I don't think it's true, and since there are some people on both lists, I
thought if it IS true, people here should be easily able to name those kinds of
names people have been called. I know I've said lots of times that some
recommended or proposed action or behavior wasn't the closest way to get to
unschooling. I can't think of times it involved calling a person a name.
Without quoting who and to whom, can we come up with a list of these names
people have been called? If it's true, I'm just losing my memory, I guess.
Help!
Sandra
"called names."
I've been called names. But usually by people who aren't being very
rational, so I don't take it personally.
Does anyone have any "names" people have been called to throw out here so we
can consider whether that claim is true?
The claim was (I think, from what I was forwarded) that the main core of
people here (? or just me? me and some?) call people names, and that it's all in
the archives.
I don't think it's true, and since there are some people on both lists, I
thought if it IS true, people here should be easily able to name those kinds of
names people have been called. I know I've said lots of times that some
recommended or proposed action or behavior wasn't the closest way to get to
unschooling. I can't think of times it involved calling a person a name.
Without quoting who and to whom, can we come up with a list of these names
people have been called? If it's true, I'm just losing my memory, I guess.
Help!
Sandra
[email protected]
As a frequent, but not daily reader I have never seen any "name calling" in
fact I feel that people generally go out of their way to be tactful. As
"unschoolers I think that rulles would drive us away and that we are a tolerant
group. I goes with philosopy, in my apinion
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
fact I feel that people generally go out of their way to be tactful. As
"unschoolers I think that rulles would drive us away and that we are a tolerant
group. I goes with philosopy, in my apinion
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary
From: <SandraDodd@...>
<<Without quoting who and to whom, can we come up with a list of these names
people have been called? If it's true, I'm just losing my memory, I
guess.
Help!>>
Well I'm going to take a stab at this but keep in mind I'm just guessing
here. I have no clue as to why this all started and think the carrying on of
a few now, mostly over there, is just annoying and senseless.
BUT, I think, and take that for what's it's worth, the name calling for at
least one person, stems from some stuff awhile ago. I do remember someone
saying that if that's what you think then you must be as a dumb as a brick.
Didn't quote here as I'm going on memory only. I do also remember possibly
one or two other times that something similar has been said. There have been
*ifs* and *must* and *maybe's* used and never anyone that I recall saying
"blank you are as dumb as a brick." So actual name calling to a person I
haven't seen. Some have gotten annoyed and made statements that probably
shouldn't have been posted. I include myself in on that one. I do think that
when one poster in particular is riling up the rest, it is better after
seeing that they are not going to at least listen, to just not post at all.
That for some people though is easier said that done. I understand that, I
think most her do too. I've gotten upset on this list a couple of times but
just don't take it personally. Because of how I am, I have a hard time not
seeing how others can not take it personally either. That's something I just
can't understand and get annoyed with. There was once on this list and now
on the RUL where I just really want to post "why don't you just shut the
f*** up!" It's stupid. But I don't post that and just delete instead.
In nutshell I don's see what all the crap is about. I understand how some at
first feel stepped on, but not giving any time to really look at the
situation and spouting off instead just isn't right. If some people that
come to this list have a hard time feeling like some think of themselves as
god like (my words here) then I feel like that's their problem. If someone
wants to feel like a know it all, it doesn't make it so. If someone else
believes it, it still doesn't make it so. I see the problem with the
bitchers.
My not so humble opinion.
Mary B
<<Without quoting who and to whom, can we come up with a list of these names
people have been called? If it's true, I'm just losing my memory, I
guess.
Help!>>
Well I'm going to take a stab at this but keep in mind I'm just guessing
here. I have no clue as to why this all started and think the carrying on of
a few now, mostly over there, is just annoying and senseless.
BUT, I think, and take that for what's it's worth, the name calling for at
least one person, stems from some stuff awhile ago. I do remember someone
saying that if that's what you think then you must be as a dumb as a brick.
Didn't quote here as I'm going on memory only. I do also remember possibly
one or two other times that something similar has been said. There have been
*ifs* and *must* and *maybe's* used and never anyone that I recall saying
"blank you are as dumb as a brick." So actual name calling to a person I
haven't seen. Some have gotten annoyed and made statements that probably
shouldn't have been posted. I include myself in on that one. I do think that
when one poster in particular is riling up the rest, it is better after
seeing that they are not going to at least listen, to just not post at all.
That for some people though is easier said that done. I understand that, I
think most her do too. I've gotten upset on this list a couple of times but
just don't take it personally. Because of how I am, I have a hard time not
seeing how others can not take it personally either. That's something I just
can't understand and get annoyed with. There was once on this list and now
on the RUL where I just really want to post "why don't you just shut the
f*** up!" It's stupid. But I don't post that and just delete instead.
In nutshell I don's see what all the crap is about. I understand how some at
first feel stepped on, but not giving any time to really look at the
situation and spouting off instead just isn't right. If some people that
come to this list have a hard time feeling like some think of themselves as
god like (my words here) then I feel like that's their problem. If someone
wants to feel like a know it all, it doesn't make it so. If someone else
believes it, it still doesn't make it so. I see the problem with the
bitchers.
My not so humble opinion.
Mary B
[email protected]
what a poor job of writing I did, that is what I get for not proof reading
and having my cat on my lap . I am sorry , but my point was made.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
and having my cat on my lap . I am sorry , but my point was made.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
> Does anyone have any "names" people have been called to throw out here sowe
> can consider whether that claim is true?Ah, you called Oom a crazed spanker, or something like that. (*I* know you
didn't, but she probably still thinks you did.)
Just so you know, Lynda just posted the full text over there of the
knuckle-rapping you got from Helen a while back.
Tia
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/03 12:26:27 PM, leschke@... writes:
<< Just so you know, Lynda just posted the full text over there of the
knuckle-rapping you got from Helen a while back. >>
Nobody posted the "you're so wonderful" post later the same day, I guess. <g>
I just wish they were being truthful instead of making up quotes and stuff.
Sandra
<< Just so you know, Lynda just posted the full text over there of the
knuckle-rapping you got from Helen a while back. >>
Nobody posted the "you're so wonderful" post later the same day, I guess. <g>
I just wish they were being truthful instead of making up quotes and stuff.
Sandra
moonstarshooter
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
Tory
> Without quoting who and to whom, can we come up with a list ofthese names
> people have been called? If it's true, I'm just losing my memory,I guess.
> Help!Could it be from the "friggin idiot" thread?
>
> Sandra
Tory
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/2003 12:30:28 PM Central Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
guru
I remember a particulalry nasty one as being something about fat and happy.
But I think the name callers leave pretty early.
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Without quoting who and to whom, can we come up with a list of these namesauthority
> people have been called?
guru
I remember a particulalry nasty one as being something about fat and happy.
But I think the name callers leave pretty early.
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
CloseKnitFamilyOf3
--- In [email protected], ejcrewe@a... wrote:
<<I remember a particulalry nasty one as being something about fat
and
happy.>>
Oh, I remeber that one. Happy fat and sassy. That was nasty.
Kim
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/2003 4:41:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ejcrewe@... writes:
it aimed at? The general population of the world was being referred to. Yet
another something taken out of context, why am I not surprised?
glena who is/was included in WE
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ejcrewe@... writes:
> I remember a particulalry nasty one as being something about fat and happy.That quote was "if we all sit around happy fat and sassy" so who exactly was
>
> But I think the name callers leave pretty early.
>
it aimed at? The general population of the world was being referred to. Yet
another something taken out of context, why am I not surprised?
glena who is/was included in WE
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/03 3:38:11 PM, CabinOnTheLedge@... writes:
<< Oh, I remeber that one. Happy fat and sassy. That was nasty. >>
I have been reminded on the side that I called someone a liar.
I don't remember the circumstances exactly, but I do have this idea that if
someone says one thing and then says a different thing and denies having said
the first, I do tend to sometimes say "then one of those things is a lie."
You don't even need to know which one is true, at that point. You just
(sadly) have to exercise caution in believing anything that person asserts in the
future.
Sandra
<< Oh, I remeber that one. Happy fat and sassy. That was nasty. >>
I have been reminded on the side that I called someone a liar.
I don't remember the circumstances exactly, but I do have this idea that if
someone says one thing and then says a different thing and denies having said
the first, I do tend to sometimes say "then one of those things is a lie."
You don't even need to know which one is true, at that point. You just
(sadly) have to exercise caution in believing anything that person asserts in the
future.
Sandra
Mary
I always heard fat and sassy as referring to pregnant women. Not many of us
should feel offended then huh? They were talking about Kelly!! LOL!!
Mary B
should feel offended then huh? They were talking about Kelly!! LOL!!
Mary B
----- Original Message -----
From: "CloseKnitFamilyOf3" <CabinOnTheLedge@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, July 24, 2003 5:34 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-Discussion] Re: name calling
> --- In [email protected], ejcrewe@a... wrote:
>
> <<I remember a particulalry nasty one as being something about fat
> and
> happy.>>
>
>
> Oh, I remeber that one. Happy fat and sassy. That was nasty.
>
> Kim
>
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
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>
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>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/2003 6:37:20 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
mummy124@... writes:
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mummy124@... writes:
> always heard fat and sassy as referring to pregnant women. Not many of usPardon *ME*?
> should feel offended then huh? They were talking about Kelly!! LOL!!
>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy
**"On another network" it is being claimed that on this list people are
"called names."**
When things started to get heated in the spanking debate I kind of
cringed to see the word "stupid" tossed into the debate. But I can't
recall whether a person was called stupid or an idea was called stupid.
(The archive coughed up "acting stupid on purpose".) I do not think
this was directly related to the connotations of the word "retarded".
Betsy
PS It is my pet peeve that most of the people who feel the tone of the
list is "mean", usually generalize and wave their hands about without
actually quoting ANYTHING. This removes the possibility that a
misunderstanding can be unravelled.
I think often people are startled and upset when their ideas are
rejected, even if no personal insult is offered.
"called names."**
When things started to get heated in the spanking debate I kind of
cringed to see the word "stupid" tossed into the debate. But I can't
recall whether a person was called stupid or an idea was called stupid.
(The archive coughed up "acting stupid on purpose".) I do not think
this was directly related to the connotations of the word "retarded".
Betsy
PS It is my pet peeve that most of the people who feel the tone of the
list is "mean", usually generalize and wave their hands about without
actually quoting ANYTHING. This removes the possibility that a
misunderstanding can be unravelled.
I think often people are startled and upset when their ideas are
rejected, even if no personal insult is offered.
Mary
From: <kbcdlovejo@...>
<<Pardon *ME*?>>
LOL!!!!! I din't say all Kelly's were pregnant!! <BG> There's a Kelly here
who is. Oh heavens maybe she moved to the cafe!!! I can't keep them
straight. Not Kelly's but the lists!!!
Mary B
<<Pardon *ME*?>>
LOL!!!!! I din't say all Kelly's were pregnant!! <BG> There's a Kelly here
who is. Oh heavens maybe she moved to the cafe!!! I can't keep them
straight. Not Kelly's but the lists!!!
Mary B
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/2003 5:37:21 PM Central Standard Time,
mummy124@... writes:
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mummy124@... writes:
> They were talking about Kelly!!And me. And Shyrley.
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Mary wrote:
tummy and a "smile". So "fat and sassy", to me, means "content". So
many ways to interpret three little words strung together. LOL
TreeGoddess
>I always heard fat and sassy as referring to pregnant women.I always imagine a big, lazy cat basking in a sunny spot with a full
>
tummy and a "smile". So "fat and sassy", to me, means "content". So
many ways to interpret three little words strung together. LOL
TreeGoddess
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/03 5:02:14 PM, ecsamhill@... writes:
<< PS It is my pet peeve that most of the people who feel the tone of the
list is "mean", usually generalize and wave their hands about without
actually quoting ANYTHING. This removes the possibility that a
misunderstanding can be unravelled. >>
There is a quote (quotation marks and all) being used in that other argument
which is NOT something I said, but it's being treated as though it is.
There's no stopping a river of bullshit. And it's just a very few people, as
usual. Character assassination is like any other vandalism. I don't expect it of
grown women, of mothers.
Sandra
<< PS It is my pet peeve that most of the people who feel the tone of the
list is "mean", usually generalize and wave their hands about without
actually quoting ANYTHING. This removes the possibility that a
misunderstanding can be unravelled. >>
There is a quote (quotation marks and all) being used in that other argument
which is NOT something I said, but it's being treated as though it is.
There's no stopping a river of bullshit. And it's just a very few people, as
usual. Character assassination is like any other vandalism. I don't expect it of
grown women, of mothers.
Sandra
Betsy
<< PS It is my pet peeve that most of the people who feel the tone of the
list is "mean", usually generalize and wave their hands about without
actually quoting ANYTHING. This removes the possibility that a
misunderstanding can be unravelled. >>
which is NOT something I said, but it's being treated as though it is.
There's no stopping a river of bullshit. And it's just a very few
people, as usual. Character assassination is like any other vandalism.
I don't expect it of grown women, of mothers. <<
OK, I see your point.
I just want to feebly point out that it is the convention on e-lists to
quote what one is responding to. Some people complain here about
atmosphere / harshness / attitude without ever giving examples. Their
vagueness prevents any significant understanding or meeting of minds
from occuring.
If people would quote *something* to protest about rather than
protesting *everything* there's a chance that the conversation would at
least deal with recent grievances rather than ancient grudges. At least
I hope so.
When tempers flare I'd rather see someone quote one or two sentences and
say "Hey, this hurt my feelings. It sounds like you think I <blank>.
Is that what you meant to imply?"
I admit this kind of exchange isn't directly on the *issues* of
unschooling, but it's a level or two more evolved and constructive than
"Hey, you guys were harsh last week and I hate you." There's not much
of a way to answer that criticism.
Betsy
PS Consider this whole post a critique of those who critique the list
without quoting specifics.
list is "mean", usually generalize and wave their hands about without
actually quoting ANYTHING. This removes the possibility that a
misunderstanding can be unravelled. >>
>>There is a quote (quotation marks and all) being used in that otherargument
which is NOT something I said, but it's being treated as though it is.
There's no stopping a river of bullshit. And it's just a very few
people, as usual. Character assassination is like any other vandalism.
I don't expect it of grown women, of mothers. <<
OK, I see your point.
I just want to feebly point out that it is the convention on e-lists to
quote what one is responding to. Some people complain here about
atmosphere / harshness / attitude without ever giving examples. Their
vagueness prevents any significant understanding or meeting of minds
from occuring.
If people would quote *something* to protest about rather than
protesting *everything* there's a chance that the conversation would at
least deal with recent grievances rather than ancient grudges. At least
I hope so.
When tempers flare I'd rather see someone quote one or two sentences and
say "Hey, this hurt my feelings. It sounds like you think I <blank>.
Is that what you meant to imply?"
I admit this kind of exchange isn't directly on the *issues* of
unschooling, but it's a level or two more evolved and constructive than
"Hey, you guys were harsh last week and I hate you." There's not much
of a way to answer that criticism.
Betsy
PS Consider this whole post a critique of those who critique the list
without quoting specifics.
Mary
From: <treegoddess@...>
<< I always imagine a big, lazy cat basking in a sunny spot with a full
tummy and a "smile". So "fat and sassy", to me, means "content". So
many ways to interpret three little words strung together. LOL>>
Oooh, and I was very content when I was pregnant! <BG>
Mary B
<< I always imagine a big, lazy cat basking in a sunny spot with a full
tummy and a "smile". So "fat and sassy", to me, means "content". So
many ways to interpret three little words strung together. LOL>>
Oooh, and I was very content when I was pregnant! <BG>
Mary B
Kelly Lenhart
<<Pardon *ME*?>>
(Three if I can swing it--GET OUT KID!!!! -evil grin-)
I'm here and on the cafe.
Kelly
(who needs some sort of cute identifier)
>LOL!!!!! I din't say all Kelly's were pregnant!! <BG> There's a Kelly hereThat's me! The pregnant Kelly that is. For about 4 more weeks anyway.
>who is. Oh heavens maybe she moved to the cafe!!! I can't keep them
>straight. Not Kelly's but the lists!!!
>Mary B
(Three if I can swing it--GET OUT KID!!!! -evil grin-)
I'm here and on the cafe.
Kelly
(who needs some sort of cute identifier)
Mary
From: "Kelly Lenhart" <mina@...>
<< That's me! The pregnant Kelly that is. For about 4 more weeks anyway.
(Three if I can swing it--GET OUT KID!!!! -evil grin-)
I'm here and on the cafe.
Kelly
(who needs some sort of cute identifier)>>
Thanks for speaking up Kelly!!!! So how are you feeling? Aside from
anxious??
Mary B
<< That's me! The pregnant Kelly that is. For about 4 more weeks anyway.
(Three if I can swing it--GET OUT KID!!!! -evil grin-)
I'm here and on the cafe.
Kelly
(who needs some sort of cute identifier)>>
Thanks for speaking up Kelly!!!! So how are you feeling? Aside from
anxious??
Mary B
[email protected]
Both the fat and happy quote and the "crazed spank-o-matic" quotes were not
direct name calling. It was something like, "When someone acts like a crazed
spank-o-matic" or "if you act like a crazed spank-o-matic"...something like
that. Same with the fat and happy....it was a discussion about how we should be
out there doing more to save the world and someone said something like, "you
can sit around fat and happy and homeschooling your own kids, but turn your
back on needy people.." and the "you" was meant generally like "you-all"
I don't always get involved in debates but sometimes read them ;o)
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
direct name calling. It was something like, "When someone acts like a crazed
spank-o-matic" or "if you act like a crazed spank-o-matic"...something like
that. Same with the fat and happy....it was a discussion about how we should be
out there doing more to save the world and someone said something like, "you
can sit around fat and happy and homeschooling your own kids, but turn your
back on needy people.." and the "you" was meant generally like "you-all"
I don't always get involved in debates but sometimes read them ;o)
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/26/03 7:09:49 AM, CelticFrau@... writes:
<< "When someone acts like a crazed
spank-o-matic" or "if you act like a crazed spank-o-matic"...something like
that. >>
I think it was if I were a spank-o-matic my kids might rather brave the
WalMart parking lot than to hold my hand.
Sandra
<< "When someone acts like a crazed
spank-o-matic" or "if you act like a crazed spank-o-matic"...something like
that. >>
I think it was if I were a spank-o-matic my kids might rather brave the
WalMart parking lot than to hold my hand.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/26/03 11:23:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
what you say is absolutely how I feel, but I can see how Chris might have
thought you were calling her a "spank-o-matic". She was the only one defending
spanking as a good option. Even though you didn't call her a "spank-o-matic"
directly, like saying YOU are a spank-o-matic. Sometimes it is hard to tell
yourself that people are discussing ideas not you personally especially if you are
the only one present on the opposite side of a discussion.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> I think it was if I were a spank-o-matic my kids might rather brave theYes, I believe that was it. And I am not saying I disagree with you because
> WalMart parking lot than to hold my hand.
>
>
what you say is absolutely how I feel, but I can see how Chris might have
thought you were calling her a "spank-o-matic". She was the only one defending
spanking as a good option. Even though you didn't call her a "spank-o-matic"
directly, like saying YOU are a spank-o-matic. Sometimes it is hard to tell
yourself that people are discussing ideas not you personally especially if you are
the only one present on the opposite side of a discussion.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/26/03 9:49:28 AM, genant2@... writes:
<< I can see how Chris might have
thought you were calling her a "spank-o-matic". >>
That's called "guilty conscience."
<<Sometimes it is hard to tell
yourself that people are discussing ideas not you personally especially if
you are
the only one present on the opposite side of a discussion.>>
It's hard for me to play volleyball, so I don't play.
I don't think we should have to lower the level of our discussions to
accommodate people who can't participate in discussions without understanding that
we're trying to discuss issues and principles.
On a list about unschooling, if one is TRULY the only one on one end of a
discussion, it's probably not an appropriate topic for the list.
Sandra
<< I can see how Chris might have
thought you were calling her a "spank-o-matic". >>
That's called "guilty conscience."
<<Sometimes it is hard to tell
yourself that people are discussing ideas not you personally especially if
you are
the only one present on the opposite side of a discussion.>>
It's hard for me to play volleyball, so I don't play.
I don't think we should have to lower the level of our discussions to
accommodate people who can't participate in discussions without understanding that
we're trying to discuss issues and principles.
On a list about unschooling, if one is TRULY the only one on one end of a
discussion, it's probably not an appropriate topic for the list.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/26/2003 11:23:54 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
your quote mixed up with others.
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> I think it was if I were a spank-o-matic my kids might rather brave theYup...that's it...but a few other people used the term too, so maybe they got
> WalMart parking lot than to hold my hand.
>
your quote mixed up with others.
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Saturday, July 26, 2003, at 08:48 AM, genant2@... wrote:
otherwise. And we can't guess, in advance, who has the self-esteem or
strong enough ego or whatever to not take things personally, but to
stick with discussing ideas.
Chris wasn't even SOUNDING like a "spank-o-matic." I don't know how
someone could think that the phrase could possibly be intended to
apply to her - we all knew already that she had spanked ONLY once ever
- she'd told us repeatedly. She wasn't defending being a frequent
spanker - she was defending a rare emergency spank. The debate was
mostly about whether even a rare emergency spanking was a useful thing
to do, and the "spank-o-matic" comment was an extension of that idea to
what would happen if spanking was a regular, frequent occurrence.
IF I was a "spank-o-matic" makes it more clear that what followed
wasn't about Chris - that the one-time spanking Chris gave her son
wasn't what Sandra was referring to - that she was saying that IF
someone was prone to swatting frequently that a kid might rather brave
the parking lot than be within arm shot of his parent.
To avoid someone taking something personally, when to the writer and
others it is perfectly clear that it is about an idea, not a specific
person, we'd have to do what? Start every sentence with a disclaimer of
some kind?
"In case anybody on this list considers themselves a "spank-o-matic"
then this may apply to you, but if you are not a person who spanks
their children automatically for every transgression, then please do
not take what I am about to say personally?"
Goofy.
-pam
> Sometimes it is hard to tellWe have to assume people can read and think - no point in the list,
> yourself that people are discussing ideas not you personally
> especially if you are
> the only one present on the opposite side of a discussion.
otherwise. And we can't guess, in advance, who has the self-esteem or
strong enough ego or whatever to not take things personally, but to
stick with discussing ideas.
Chris wasn't even SOUNDING like a "spank-o-matic." I don't know how
someone could think that the phrase could possibly be intended to
apply to her - we all knew already that she had spanked ONLY once ever
- she'd told us repeatedly. She wasn't defending being a frequent
spanker - she was defending a rare emergency spank. The debate was
mostly about whether even a rare emergency spanking was a useful thing
to do, and the "spank-o-matic" comment was an extension of that idea to
what would happen if spanking was a regular, frequent occurrence.
IF I was a "spank-o-matic" makes it more clear that what followed
wasn't about Chris - that the one-time spanking Chris gave her son
wasn't what Sandra was referring to - that she was saying that IF
someone was prone to swatting frequently that a kid might rather brave
the parking lot than be within arm shot of his parent.
To avoid someone taking something personally, when to the writer and
others it is perfectly clear that it is about an idea, not a specific
person, we'd have to do what? Start every sentence with a disclaimer of
some kind?
"In case anybody on this list considers themselves a "spank-o-matic"
then this may apply to you, but if you are not a person who spanks
their children automatically for every transgression, then please do
not take what I am about to say personally?"
Goofy.
-pam
Deborah Lewis
***"On another network" it is being claimed that on this list people are
"called names."***
***Does anyone have any "names" people have been called to throw out here
so we
can consider whether that claim is true?***
I'm clearly lacking in interpersonal intelligence because I usually don't
think that means what other people think it's means.
So, I'm probably guilty. I've called people whiners. I don't think I
ever said "oh you're just a stinking whiner!" but I have said "If you
just came here to whine" or "the people who come here and whine", that
sort of thing.
Certain individuals will read something like, "Calling your kid lazy
isn't very nice." And it gets translated in their minds to "You're a
terrible mother." That's not a problem with the dynamics of this list
that's their own personal stuff.
In the latest fracas here I mostly remember the peaceful person using
words like hateful and snotty.<g> I don't ever remember anyone being
called a wart or a butt or a booger head. THAT'S name calling.
"You are a frigging idiot *if*..." was snatched up by one poster who
claimed ownership and then was offended.
Someone, (many?<g>) have gently (or not so) implied I'm immature, but I
am and so considered it an observation and not a judgement. <g>
So neener!
Deb L
"called names."***
***Does anyone have any "names" people have been called to throw out here
so we
can consider whether that claim is true?***
I'm clearly lacking in interpersonal intelligence because I usually don't
think that means what other people think it's means.
So, I'm probably guilty. I've called people whiners. I don't think I
ever said "oh you're just a stinking whiner!" but I have said "If you
just came here to whine" or "the people who come here and whine", that
sort of thing.
Certain individuals will read something like, "Calling your kid lazy
isn't very nice." And it gets translated in their minds to "You're a
terrible mother." That's not a problem with the dynamics of this list
that's their own personal stuff.
In the latest fracas here I mostly remember the peaceful person using
words like hateful and snotty.<g> I don't ever remember anyone being
called a wart or a butt or a booger head. THAT'S name calling.
"You are a frigging idiot *if*..." was snatched up by one poster who
claimed ownership and then was offended.
Someone, (many?<g>) have gently (or not so) implied I'm immature, but I
am and so considered it an observation and not a judgement. <g>
So neener!
Deb L
Fetteroll
on 7/26/03 2:27 PM, Pamela Sorooshian at pamsoroosh@... wrote:
I think the once she refered to applied just to the bus stop son.
Joyce
> we all knew already that she had spanked ONLY once everI think she said she had spanked rarely or only a few times in emergencies.
> - she'd told us repeatedly.
I think the once she refered to applied just to the bus stop son.
Joyce