Elizabeth Ogiyama

> I just recently joined this group in hopes of seeking support. This
> includes
> my relearning or rethinking what society has brainwashed me with as
> being
> "normal or ok" and though I'll get flamed by the obvious monopoly, I
> feel I
> must say something as the posts below really upset me.
>
> It one thing to disagree with someone, but to do so in such a
> disrespectful
> and undignified way is really upsetting to me. Where is the peace in
> this
> type of reply? Where is the love & understanding. Intolerance and
> impatience
> aren't tools for teaching and I am here to learn.I will make mistakes
> in my
> parenting path and I will disagree with people here as we are all not
> alike
> nor are our styles of "parenting" and that should all be ok.
>
> I shouldn't feel afraid to post in fear I'll get slammed by certain
> members
> like Oom. I didn't feel she was accusing or labeling anyone in
> particular,
> just sharing an opinion. So why attack? I'm positive, I too, will get a
> heap
> of flaming, but I find this terribly uncomfortable and unfair. I'd be
> much
> more willing to listen to a non-reactionary gentle reply. It's a bit
> like
> the pot calling the kettle black to accuse of attack and then retaliate
> by
> attacking back as well. Non-reaction is an emotionally adult way to
> handle
> such things, not more insults and accusations or assumptions. Give the
> topic
> up Oom, you don't have a chance. You've already been hung before tried.
> I've
> seen it happen before.
>
> This is the 5th time I've been too intimidated to post because of this
> type
> of reaction. I honestly don't think Oom was name calling, etc... She is
> on
> another list that I have been on and appears to be a gentle soul.
>
> Can't we agree to disagree on certain subject, treat each other with
> respect
> and dignity?
>
> I wish you all well. I doubt I'll post after this out of fear. I feel
> terrible about this as I still have many many questions and came seeking
> help on many issues as I feel very alone in our unschooling journey.
> It's a
> shame a few ruin it for the many. :(
>
> Good luck to all and PEACE,
> Jeva
>
> *********************************************
> Since you know SO much and seem to dislike this list SO much, what's the
> deal?
>
> If your way is working great for you, just go do it! Because your
> commentary
> and advice aren't adding to unschooling peace and prosperity.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
> In a message dated 7/20/03 1:42:23 PM, OomYaaqub@... writes:
>
> << The word actually means slower
> in development. >>
>
> Actually?
>
> Huh.
>
> WE KNOW THAT.
>
> And you used it of boys in general and it seemed of your boys in
> particular.
>
>
> Sandra
>
>
Exactly my circumstances, and (almost) exactly what I was thinking!

Sandra, I just read your articles elsewhere on the web and was very
impressed with what you wrote, but when I saw your posts here, the
hostility shocked me.

As the old addage goes, " you catch more bees with honey than vinegar".
(anyway, something like that...) I think anyone is probably going to get
defensive if attacked, although Oom seemed to be responding without
attacking back. I also think picking apart posts really takes things out
of context and leads to unintended nastiness.

I totally agree that spanking is wrong. I got ONE "swat" with a paddle
as punishment in Jr. High School from the principal( I hope that this is
outlawed now--it was punishment for tardiness) and I'm still mad at that
man today, twenty years on! It wasn't the pain--although it did
hurt--but the utter humiliation and rage I felt towards him afterwards.
I used to like him, too-- but never again.

As I learned about myself when I first started attending La Leche
meetings (breastfeeding group), and I believe this to be true of most of
us, is that you do not always really Hear what is being said until you
are ready to hear it. There may come a time when someone who spanks (or
occasionally slaps) is ready to "hear " what opponents say against it.
Then he or she will remember those gentle voices and , I hope , stop.

E.

[email protected]

E wrote>>>>>>>>>although Oom seemed to be responding without
attacking back.

Oom wrote>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We did resolve our
problems, we're all doing okay, except my dh just now wondered why I'm
wasting my
time arguing with a bunch of total hypocrites. He read that you folks
thought
it was okay to keep a child away from grandparents--which means, kids have
freedom until the minute they want something that bothers YOU. You are
dishonest
and out of contact with reality. What is more dangerous, a critical
grandparent, or getting hit by a truck? I also shared the story with my son,
who
laughed and said he doesn't need to be "unschooled" if that's what it means.
He
doesn't, and I will leave with great relief. >>>>>>>

To me this entire post was attacking. Laura D


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Andrea

At 02:46 PM 7/22/03 -0400, Oom, I think, wrote:
>I also shared the story with my son,
>who
>laughed and said he doesn't need to be "unschooled" if that's what it means.
>He
>doesn't, and I will leave with great relief.

I know she is gone but I have to respond to this. It's too bad she didn't
stick around long enough to learn that unschooling is not something that
kids have done to them.

My kids don't go to school. Unschooling is the word I use so others might
easily and quickly understand what our lives are like.

Donna in Nova Scotia