Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] Children with extreme issues was:A drug problem
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In a message dated 7/19/03 8:38:01 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
CelticFrau@... writes:
Yes, the only instances where I have even heard of such personailties, have
almost always ended in the person being institutionalized in one form or
another. My aunt and uncle have been told that she will end up in jail if they do
not commit her to some hospital for behavior dysfunction. But what answer is
that? Basically the "experts" on nearly every level have given them no hope. So
either way, she should be locked up, according to their prophesies.
It is not just a daily struggle, but literally a minute by minute struggle.
She can be seemingly fine and quiet one moment and a wild banshee the next.
Then of course come the self preservation/society preservation questions....do
you actually go ahead and commit such a child because there are valid fears of
what she has the ability to do? Or do you utilize every ounce of energy and
humanity to save her? And can she be saved from herself? And what about the rest
of the world?
She is spending the summer with us, everyother week, Monday to Friday, 13
hours a day. On the opposing weeks she is with my aunt or uncle as they are
alternating taking vacation weeks to be with her. At 14, there are no resources for
kids like this. Nor would any facility providing summer camps be willing to
take on such a responsibility. My struggle now is why am I? Is it ego driven
because she does well with us? Is it because I can't take seeing my mom, my
aunt's or my uncle's (we are the Irish equivelent to My Big Fat Greek Wedding)
shed another tear? In the four full weeks I have had her, we had one meltdown for
the last hour before she went home one day and the amount of eneregy it took
was utterly incredible. I can't fathom living it everyday with no light at the
end of the tunnel. The theory that she would outgrow certain behaviors was
WRONG. She is seeming to get worse. So I won't stop having her, over that one
breakdown, but it was enough for me to question my own intentions and enough to
put me on gaurd. And it was enough for me to see that her parents diminished
marriage (which devestated this large extended family), even in the strongest
relationships, would have a very hard time surviving.
Sorry if I have rambled and turned this thread around to be about my family
and it's struggles, but if there are any people in the world who wouldn't give
up on their own children, it is definately the people here.
Peace to all of you.
Rhonda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
CelticFrau@... writes:
> Rhonda - we have had children like this in our home for short periods, whenNancy,
>
> doing respite care for other foster parents. I can almost picture the girl
> you
> are describing, as I've seen children like her quite a few times. There is
> one boy in our program with all the traits you are describing. The foster
> family that has him and his sister are saints...have stuck by this kid
> through
> unbelievable behaviors...waited years for him to go to a "famous" attachment
>
> disorder doctor, and he is finally beginning to turn around a tiny bit.
> Still, he
> has so far to go and may never change completely and may end up
> hospitalized.
>
>
Yes, the only instances where I have even heard of such personailties, have
almost always ended in the person being institutionalized in one form or
another. My aunt and uncle have been told that she will end up in jail if they do
not commit her to some hospital for behavior dysfunction. But what answer is
that? Basically the "experts" on nearly every level have given them no hope. So
either way, she should be locked up, according to their prophesies.
It is not just a daily struggle, but literally a minute by minute struggle.
She can be seemingly fine and quiet one moment and a wild banshee the next.
Then of course come the self preservation/society preservation questions....do
you actually go ahead and commit such a child because there are valid fears of
what she has the ability to do? Or do you utilize every ounce of energy and
humanity to save her? And can she be saved from herself? And what about the rest
of the world?
She is spending the summer with us, everyother week, Monday to Friday, 13
hours a day. On the opposing weeks she is with my aunt or uncle as they are
alternating taking vacation weeks to be with her. At 14, there are no resources for
kids like this. Nor would any facility providing summer camps be willing to
take on such a responsibility. My struggle now is why am I? Is it ego driven
because she does well with us? Is it because I can't take seeing my mom, my
aunt's or my uncle's (we are the Irish equivelent to My Big Fat Greek Wedding)
shed another tear? In the four full weeks I have had her, we had one meltdown for
the last hour before she went home one day and the amount of eneregy it took
was utterly incredible. I can't fathom living it everyday with no light at the
end of the tunnel. The theory that she would outgrow certain behaviors was
WRONG. She is seeming to get worse. So I won't stop having her, over that one
breakdown, but it was enough for me to question my own intentions and enough to
put me on gaurd. And it was enough for me to see that her parents diminished
marriage (which devestated this large extended family), even in the strongest
relationships, would have a very hard time surviving.
Sorry if I have rambled and turned this thread around to be about my family
and it's struggles, but if there are any people in the world who wouldn't give
up on their own children, it is definately the people here.
Peace to all of you.
Rhonda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]