leaving kids with strangers
dtillitzferguson
> dropping the kid(s)Paula,
> off with total strangers.
>>Does anyone really do this currently?
>>Paula
My kids and I teach Toddler (ages 2-early 4) Sunday school at our
church and parents leave their screaming, obviously-don't-want-to-be-
there children with us whom they have never met and know nothing
about. Within the last month, I had a boy crying so hard he was
gasping, tears were rolling down his face, and he was hanging on
the gate he was desperately trying to crawl over. The mom
said, "He'll be fine." I said, "You can come in and try to get him
settled." "Oh no!" said she, "He always does this when I leave him.
It'll be fine." I replied, "Well, I will give him maybe 15 minutes
to see if he will settle down, but I won't let him cry for long
before we call you. It's not that we don't want him here, but that
we can't stand to see him so distressed." She rolled her eyes at me,
then and when we called her to come comfort him 15 minutes later.
There was no consoling him. Poor baby!
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/6/03 10:38:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
dtillitzferguson@... writes:
day. At first, yeah, thier caregivers are total strangers. Not being left
with strangers is the exception, not the rule, when it comes to child care.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dtillitzferguson@... writes:
> >dropping the kid(s)Lots, I mean LOTS, probably the majority of children, go to daycare every
> >off with total strangers.
>
>
> >>Does anyone really do this currently?
>
> >>Paula
>
day. At first, yeah, thier caregivers are total strangers. Not being left
with strangers is the exception, not the rule, when it comes to child care.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/6/2003 10:38:15 AM Eastern Standard Time,
dtillitzferguson@... writes:
Protestant and in the past he has gotten the urge to attend again. So the kids and I
have gone with him (kids and I are Catholic) and at most, they practically
block the door not wanting anyone to bring children into the "sanctuary." The
parents feel they need to go to church, it helps them, maybe keeps them going,
but the powers that be don't want kids in there disrupting the service. So the
parents have to leave their crying children in the nursery. Guilt about
leaving the kids, but more guilt if they don't go to the service.
We have turned around and left churches in the past because they don't want
children in the 'adult' service.
Once, at our (Catholic) parish in CA, the "reformers" tried to do the same
thing, taking children out of the church for a children's Mass. All the
Hispanic and Filipino familes (and me) refused. It was a flop. Our priest later
told me he'd much rather speak a little louder over a crying infant, or have
mothers walking their children up and down the aisles than to have families
separated at Mass.
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dtillitzferguson@... writes:
> My kids and I teach Toddler (ages 2-early 4) Sunday school at ourSee, I partly blame this on the church (no offense.) My husband is
> church and parents leave their screaming, obviously-don't-want-to-be-
> there children with us whom they have never met and know nothing
> about. Within the last month, I had a boy crying so hard he was
> gasping, tears were rolling down his face, and he was hanging on
> the gate he was desperately trying to crawl over. The mom
> said, "He'll be fine." I said, "You can come in and try to get him
> settled." "Oh no!" said she, "He always does this when I leave him.
> It'll be fine."
Protestant and in the past he has gotten the urge to attend again. So the kids and I
have gone with him (kids and I are Catholic) and at most, they practically
block the door not wanting anyone to bring children into the "sanctuary." The
parents feel they need to go to church, it helps them, maybe keeps them going,
but the powers that be don't want kids in there disrupting the service. So the
parents have to leave their crying children in the nursery. Guilt about
leaving the kids, but more guilt if they don't go to the service.
We have turned around and left churches in the past because they don't want
children in the 'adult' service.
Once, at our (Catholic) parish in CA, the "reformers" tried to do the same
thing, taking children out of the church for a children's Mass. All the
Hispanic and Filipino familes (and me) refused. It was a flop. Our priest later
told me he'd much rather speak a little louder over a crying infant, or have
mothers walking their children up and down the aisles than to have families
separated at Mass.
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/6/03 4:36:06 PM, CelticFrau@... writes:
<< Our priest later
told me he'd much rather speak a little louder over a crying infant, or have
mothers walking their children up and down the aisles than to have families
separated at Mass. >>
The most child-friendly service I've ever been to was Mormon. They just
cranked the sound system up loud enough that people could hear it over kids
talking (quietly) and shuffling papers and their moms helping them if they needed
help. I thought with their emphasis on family, they were walking their talk
with that.
Sandra
<< Our priest later
told me he'd much rather speak a little louder over a crying infant, or have
mothers walking their children up and down the aisles than to have families
separated at Mass. >>
The most child-friendly service I've ever been to was Mormon. They just
cranked the sound system up loud enough that people could hear it over kids
talking (quietly) and shuffling papers and their moms helping them if they needed
help. I thought with their emphasis on family, they were walking their talk
with that.
Sandra
Melissa Rogers
Hi, new here and been lurking but I had to comment on this...I always thought church was supposed to be a family thing! We have a great priest at our parish...my son is a very active loud 5 yo who has trouble behaving when he's bored. Even though we bring things to keep him occupied he nearly always gets to acting up and being loud during Mass. The priest said to me after one particularly exasperating session, "Don't feel bad, keep bring him, Jesus said to bring the children to him". When a baby starts crying, he just smiles in the direction of the infant and talks a little louder if he needs to.
Well...now that I've popped out, I'll have to write another email introducing myself...
Missy
mom to Kyle age 5
<<Our priest later
told me he'd much rather speak a little louder over a crying infant, or have
mothers walking their children up and down the aisles than to have families
separated at Mass.>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Well...now that I've popped out, I'll have to write another email introducing myself...
Missy
mom to Kyle age 5
<<Our priest later
told me he'd much rather speak a little louder over a crying infant, or have
mothers walking their children up and down the aisles than to have families
separated at Mass.>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lisa M. Cottrell Bentley
> We have turned around and left churches in the past because they don'twant
> children in the 'adult' service.This has been my preferred option in the past, also. I tried going to
church lots of times when my oldest was under 3. She refused to leave me
and I refused to leave her, so they just wanted me to be the permanent
"babysitter" for the whole lot. I'd rather stay home, since I then got
nothing out of church. Not my cup of tea, so I don't go. Helped me see
more hypocrisy, too. Opened my eyes.
-Lisa in AZ
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/6/03 8:10:07 PM, cottrellbentley@... writes:
<< She refused to leave me
and I refused to leave her, so they just wanted me to be the permanent
"babysitter" for the whole lot. >>
I remember one church I went to when I was little had a "crying room," a room
about ten feet square, all glass windows. A (relatively) sound-proof booth,
with a speaker so you could still hear the service.
Some movie theaters used to have those too.
Sandra
<< She refused to leave me
and I refused to leave her, so they just wanted me to be the permanent
"babysitter" for the whole lot. >>
I remember one church I went to when I was little had a "crying room," a room
about ten feet square, all glass windows. A (relatively) sound-proof booth,
with a speaker so you could still hear the service.
Some movie theaters used to have those too.
Sandra
Mary
From: <SandraDodd@...>
<< I remember one church I went to when I was little had a "crying room," a
room
about ten feet square, all glass windows. A (relatively) sound-proof
booth,
with a speaker so you could still hear the service.>>
Back home going to church with my folks, I never heard of such rooms where
the kids went. Whole families just all say together and when kids cried, the
priests just spoke louder. When I got older and moved to FL, the churches
here had the crying rooms like you described. But they were larger and for
whole families, not just crying kids and moms. So families with babies could
sit there and not disturb the others. The families were together and could
hear all that went on.
Later on churches had the kid rooms with an adult or two present, but the
parents weren't suppose to stay. I could never see the point that if church
or service was something important to the family why the whole family wasn't
together for that part of it.
Mary B
<< I remember one church I went to when I was little had a "crying room," a
room
about ten feet square, all glass windows. A (relatively) sound-proof
booth,
with a speaker so you could still hear the service.>>
Back home going to church with my folks, I never heard of such rooms where
the kids went. Whole families just all say together and when kids cried, the
priests just spoke louder. When I got older and moved to FL, the churches
here had the crying rooms like you described. But they were larger and for
whole families, not just crying kids and moms. So families with babies could
sit there and not disturb the others. The families were together and could
hear all that went on.
Later on churches had the kid rooms with an adult or two present, but the
parents weren't suppose to stay. I could never see the point that if church
or service was something important to the family why the whole family wasn't
together for that part of it.
Mary B
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/7/2003 12:44:26 AM Eastern Standard Time,
mummy124@... writes:
with the kids, hugging, them laying their heads on my lap to rest or sleep,
stroking their heads and necks while listening to the homily. When the kids got
a little older and could sit through the service, it became so peaceful...no
one talking, just sitting and touching, holding hands, hugging, kneeling and
praying together. Church wouldn't be Church without all of us there.
Nancy
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mummy124@... writes:
> Later on churches had the kid rooms with an adult or two present, but theProbably my favorite part about Mass (when we were going) was sitting close
> parents weren't suppose to stay. I could never see the point that if church
> or service was something important to the family why the whole family wasn't
> together for that part of it.
>
>
with the kids, hugging, them laying their heads on my lap to rest or sleep,
stroking their heads and necks while listening to the homily. When the kids got
a little older and could sit through the service, it became so peaceful...no
one talking, just sitting and touching, holding hands, hugging, kneeling and
praying together. Church wouldn't be Church without all of us there.
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/6/03 8:00:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kylemom@... writes:
like a 5 year old."
Pam G.
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kylemom@... writes:
> my son is a very active loud 5 yo who has trouble behaving when he's bored.I have an acquaintance who says this at times and I always say "he's behaving
>
like a 5 year old."
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/7/03 10:50:10 AM Eastern Daylight Time, grlynbl@...
writes:
for the working parents who had MONEY! LOT'S OF MONEY!!!! You wouldn't
believe the number of turnovers we had; employees came and employees went. What I
found amazing is that when we had a new employee, we ALWAYS TRIED to
introduce them to the parent w/the child present. Most parents were not very
interested because it "took too much time," and gee, they were running late for work,
after all, so the normal response was: "Ok, I have to go now, I'm already
running behind!"
I just don't understand parents sometimes. Some of the worst cases of child
abuse are found in the daycare system and not just in the ones where the poor
children go!
Tracy
We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.
~Arthur Schopenhauer~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> At first, yeah, thier caregivers are total strangers.I worked at a daycare many years ago in downtown Cincinnati. The daycare was
for the working parents who had MONEY! LOT'S OF MONEY!!!! You wouldn't
believe the number of turnovers we had; employees came and employees went. What I
found amazing is that when we had a new employee, we ALWAYS TRIED to
introduce them to the parent w/the child present. Most parents were not very
interested because it "took too much time," and gee, they were running late for work,
after all, so the normal response was: "Ok, I have to go now, I'm already
running behind!"
I just don't understand parents sometimes. Some of the worst cases of child
abuse are found in the daycare system and not just in the ones where the poor
children go!
Tracy
We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.
~Arthur Schopenhauer~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]