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<<<Sandra wrote
It's
been quite a while since we were having bad days,>>>
Sandra,
What changed?
I ask because my husband is hard on Dustin. We met when Dustin was 3 1/2 and
Dustin and he got along great the first year and then we moved into our new
home and boom!
My husband nags, its never done right or good enough for hubby and he often
pushes Dustin away. I have spoken with hubby and asked that he lighten up and
he always has a come back like well he never does anything or I told him to do
it this way. All of this has caused so much friction in our home it just puts
me in a mood.

My husband is great with the other two 3 &1 (his). His dad is the same way
but he hates that he was raised the way he was and still has some upsets over
that. He is a very technical fact kinda guy. But he is critical. For instance
this am hubby asked D to help him with the rabbit cage. I said (after D came in
upset about having to pick up a bunch of poop he dropped) "let him pick it up
(d was fine with) but please don't criticize him for how well its done." When
D was done hubby came out back to rake more up and made another little wagon
full for him. ugh

Last night it was something else he ended up getting mad at D and grabbed him
when D said something sarcastic to him. This time I didn't say a word I just
looked at him when he came in and a bit later he apologized and they hugged.

There is a lot of stress over money and bills but I am wondering what I can
do or not do to help this situation. I love my husband and my son but I do not
want this battle to get any worse than it is.

Laura D


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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-=-<<<Sandra wrote
It's
been quite a while since we were having bad days,>>>
Sandra,
What changed?
I ask because my husband is hard on Dustin.-=-

I just talked. I would apologize to the kids and smoothe things over after
their dad was a yuck sometimes. I would talk to him later and say I thought
maybe he could have said this instead of that. Sometimes he got mad and
sometimes he didn't.

Sometimes I'd ask him whether he remembered being six, and he'd say "No," and
I would do some version of "Why do you think that is?" or "Well I do, and
he's not old enough to understand/appreciate/get [whatever it was]."

Or sometimes, "Did your dad say things like that to you when you were [that
age]?" Often his answer was "I don't remember."

The reason he doesn't remember is he hated his life growing up. So I don't
have to say that, he just gradually realized that it really WAS okay for our
kids to be happy.

<< All of this has caused so much friction in our home it just puts
me in a mood. >>

I would tell him that. Tell him he's marring TWO relationships, and not
doing the other kids any good either.

Sandra