Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] Re: Was: No kids at party Is: not liking kids
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In a message dated 7/4/03 9:38:15 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:
<< Ick! But aren't there some cultures that feel it is bad luck to praise
children that it makes the gods jealous and is just "tempting fate"? >>
Not that I know of. There are some who don't want to say "My child is just
perfect," but it's a far reach from qualifying praise ("He's really fast, but
sometimes he'd rather run in the shade!" so everyone can have a little laugh at
his expense without it belittling his true running speed) to just tearing
them up out of habit.
And a lack of praise is still not the presence of insult.
If someone takes a principle to mean they shouldn't talk about their child's
positive characteristics, like a religious stricture against gossiping,, that
should DEFINITELY keep them from listing their shortcomings.
And often what parents are saying to each other doesn't even involve their
individual children. It's just that "MY aren't we put-upon," attitude with "YOU
know how kids are," and they want all the rest to agree tacitly or by nodding
and muttering that kids are awful.
It's the same kind of lame non-conversation as "So, where do you go to
school? (response, not really listened to) "What grade are you in?" (whatever
response, doesn't matter, the adult doesn't really care anyway), which is reported
later as "I talked with your son. Nice kid!"
Sandra
<< Ick! But aren't there some cultures that feel it is bad luck to praise
children that it makes the gods jealous and is just "tempting fate"? >>
Not that I know of. There are some who don't want to say "My child is just
perfect," but it's a far reach from qualifying praise ("He's really fast, but
sometimes he'd rather run in the shade!" so everyone can have a little laugh at
his expense without it belittling his true running speed) to just tearing
them up out of habit.
And a lack of praise is still not the presence of insult.
If someone takes a principle to mean they shouldn't talk about their child's
positive characteristics, like a religious stricture against gossiping,, that
should DEFINITELY keep them from listing their shortcomings.
And often what parents are saying to each other doesn't even involve their
individual children. It's just that "MY aren't we put-upon," attitude with "YOU
know how kids are," and they want all the rest to agree tacitly or by nodding
and muttering that kids are awful.
It's the same kind of lame non-conversation as "So, where do you go to
school? (response, not really listened to) "What grade are you in?" (whatever
response, doesn't matter, the adult doesn't really care anyway), which is reported
later as "I talked with your son. Nice kid!"
Sandra