Lee Roversi

This thread has been really interesting and here is my contribution from an
even older perspective . . .

I STILL have people telling me that I need time away from my kids (19,16,
12) - even more now that I am a single mom. And, believe me, we are all
going in several directions often and do get worlds of time (often too
much) apart. So, when an invitation comes up for me that is on a night when
everyone is actually going to be home - no drama endeavors for Nell, no
movie plans for Sky, no sleepovers for Bay, etc - and I say, no . . .
well, I often get the response that I am somehow being a martyr, or taking
on too much, or whatever. The simple fact that we all enjoy each other's
company and might truly relish an evening together in the hubbub that is
often our busy and involved lives seems to go over many people's heads.
But, when I reflect on just how I did not enjoy being with my parents when
I was a teen and how so many people do not relate to their teens . . . I
see that this is a sad comment on society, really. And, that I am truly
blessed that my teens like to be with me and with each other! I feel so
lucky!

Life is too short, really, not to spend all the time we can with our
children. And, for the record, I did not leave them when they were younger
with anyone and did not attend any functions that did not include them. Oh,
that damn martyr again!
LOL!

So, you with younger children - bravo! Perhaps you will inspire someone
else to think before going to yet another senseless adult party, when they
could have been home with their fast-growing children . . . and surely you,
too, will have teens who actually enjoy you and you them!

Love, Lee

North Country Farms
An Eco-Tourism Destination
P.O. Box 723
Kilauea, Kauai, HI 96754
808-828-1513 phone and voice mail
www.northcountryfarms.com

Kelli Lincoln

Hi, unlurking to reply and laugh with Lee about being the "martyr." I get
the same response all the time, too. It's been so wonderful to read in this
thread about how many other people DON'T leave their kids! I feel less weird
now! :)

Before we defected from corporate life and the city for the isolated,
happier life we now lead in the boonies, and actually had events to attend
(lol!), we'd always bring our daughter with us. None of the invitations ever
SAID no kids, but it was obviously understood that none would be there. When
she was a baby, I sewed fancy slings to go over the evening gowns, and later
she just walked along with us. Of course at first people would stare like we
were crazy, but of course our daughter always became the life of the party,
and by the end of the evening people would always say what a pleasure it was
to watch her being her vivacious self.

If an event DOES specifically say -no kids- we don't attend. We even missed
a big family wedding earlier this year due to this, and it caused a lot of
tension. But too bad - my kids are way more important!!

Blessings,
~Kelli in California, who has been lurking for about three months and loving
this list. Mom to Rhanna, age 6.5 and Thane, 20 months.

goddess dolls - http://www.dancinggoddessdolls.com


Lee wrote:
>Life is too short, really, not to spend all the time we can with our
>children. And, for the record, I did not leave them when they were younger
>with anyone and did not attend any functions that did not include them. Oh,
>that damn martyr again!
>LOL!

[email protected]

> Some days I go
> to sleep so peacefully satisfied that if the morning didn't come I would
> feel
> successful.
>

Sandra--
That's exactly how I feel. Contentment. Peace. No regrets. A feeling
you don't get from report cards or silver stars. A family relationship
undiluted.
Mary J


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