Jeff & Kate Kerr

****You could easily give someone $100 to tell you you should put her in
school.

You KNOW that's not the answer, but what other answers could possibly be

expected to come from a professional who became "professional" by 18 or
20 years
in school?

Do you think drugs or daycare would help?****


God no!


****First brainstorm with your husband what "professional help" he
thinks would
help. Play therapy? (Are there serious home problems? I doubt it--you
said
this was from birth, and play therapy isn't going to get to a genetic
level--they're looking for trauma or odd relationships or behaviors on
the part of
other family members in her life which she would act out with dolls or
puppets.)****


No serious home problems, just the usual sort. No abuse of any kind.
She's been like she is all her life.


****I'd mention it.****

I'm think I'm going to. We're going tomorrow night, I'll bring it up
then.


****Two friends of mine are in counselling and the counsellor has a
GREAT plan.
One of their major problems is the relationship between the dad and the
middle
child, older of two boys. That child is most like the mom (hmmmm) and
the
dad is MEAN to him.
Sandra****

Jeff isn't mean to Storey, but she is most like him. Intense, hard to
get their attention when they are concentrating on something, do not
like to be told what to do or say. Maybe that's why he finds her so
difficult and maybe that's why mil has such a hard time with her. Jeff
is her baby, the last of 7, and was not a planned child. His parents
divorced when he was about 3 and she never really had much time for him
(he is also the only one of the 7 who was never breast fed, she says she
was burned out). Maybe Storey brings up too much stuff for her to
handle or even recognize.


****there are great outcomes when you are blessed with such a child! -
but this is NOT an "easy" child****

You got that right. And the older she gets the more I see how
incredible she is.


****Maybe try the "Highly Sensitive Child" book so often recommended
here! Might helps you and maybe your
husband undestand her.****

I think I'll look into that.


****Maybe take a look at http://www.bullyonline.org generally and maybe
http://www.bullyonline.org/familybully/index.htm for help with mil.
Great site! Helped me see where the
lines of help/hurt are a lot more clearly.
Tim T****

Thanks for this, I'll check this out too and share it with Jeff.



****My mother in law is difficult. Not as bad as yours sounds, but not
too fun
for too long.
Sandra****

I guess I didn't realize how difficult. When Robin was born, he was so
easy and she praised me for being such a good mom. Funny, now I'm a bad
mom with one good kid and one bad kid.


****If anyone needs professional help to learn how to 'behave properly',
it's
your mother in law. Have you tried telling her privately that she needs
to
stop interfering in your mothering?
~Rue****

I'm actually a little afraid of her! She's very good at manipulating
people's words into something other than they said. And I'm not
experienced with that. Jeff has stood up to her, but he knows how she
operates.

Thanks much for the help and advice everyone. Jeff and I will talk
about this in counseling and alone.

Kate
Who's feeling less alone on this issue now.