Leaving yard w/o permission
Fausey-Khosraviani
I probably have handled this all wrong, but here's the sitch.
Margaux was outside playing with Ethan (he's also 6).
Margaux had plans with BJ (8) to go wading/swimming at the wading pool up the street and directly across the street from BJ's house. There is a life guard there. This was all arranged with BJ's mom and me. BJ had some obligations to take care of first and that's why Margaux was outside playing with Ethan. BJ was going to call Margaux when she got home.
Lunch time: Shahram (my husband) came home and I was making him and Margaux fish sticks. I had asked Margaux if she and Ethan wanted to eat them outside on their little chairs. She said, "yes."
So, the fishsticks were done and I asked Shahram to call Margaux. He went out and he called. No answer. Called again. No answer. I called, and more loudly. No answer. We rushed up to Ethan's grandmother's house. His grandfather had just gotten home and said there was nobody else in the house.
So, we headed up the street, hoping that she had gone to the wading pool, calling, "Maaaargaaaaaaux."
Finally she answered. That sweet, "Yes, Mom?"
I said, "What are you doing? Why are you up here?" She said nothing. She got out of the cold water, with just her skort on (I thought that was cool) and I said, "Not acceptable." She started up the path and Ethan's grandmother said, "Margaux told me she had permission to leave the house." I said, "She didn't." Jan apologized. I'll talk with her later about it. I was not upset with Jan. Had Margaux asked me, I'd have absolutely said, "yes."
Now, she not only didn't tell me she was leaving, but she lied to Jan. I guess the extra moments it would have taken to tell me must have seemed way too long to bother with. I can understand being little and wanting things immediately, but I want her to know that it is not okay to leave and not tell me.
So, over lunch we discussed this situation, and we grounded her overnight. I'm not sure if this is the right thing. She cried, of course, yeah, she cried. She wept. Shahram and I made it clear to her that we are not mad, that we were only very concerned with not being able to find her. On top of this, she had had a bad fall over the weekend, having really torn up both knees an elbow and the heel of one hand. Now, being in the cold cold chlorinated water made these wounds start to ooze. This is Margaux's first experience with anything on her body looking like this and she is pretty freaked. Then, I think all this drama made her start to miss her dad. So she called and left a message at his home in Pennsylvania. He'll be at a loss for its reason, but he'll call her back.
She really wanted hugs, so I held her for a long time and told her that I love her. She feels bad for lying to Ethan's grandma and for worrying us. I think she understand that she should tell us. Should I stick to the punishment? Was the punishment wrong from the get go?
I want to do the right thing.
Help?
Nichole
Nichole, mother of Margaux,
Wife to love-of-my-life Shahram,
Developer of the web,
On the winding, spiritual, educational,
Always interesting journey called
Life.
Nichole Fausey
Fausey Incorporated
www.FauseyDoesIT.com
Information Technology
NFausey@...
212 State Street Suite #4
Helena MT 59601
406.457.2824
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Margaux was outside playing with Ethan (he's also 6).
Margaux had plans with BJ (8) to go wading/swimming at the wading pool up the street and directly across the street from BJ's house. There is a life guard there. This was all arranged with BJ's mom and me. BJ had some obligations to take care of first and that's why Margaux was outside playing with Ethan. BJ was going to call Margaux when she got home.
Lunch time: Shahram (my husband) came home and I was making him and Margaux fish sticks. I had asked Margaux if she and Ethan wanted to eat them outside on their little chairs. She said, "yes."
So, the fishsticks were done and I asked Shahram to call Margaux. He went out and he called. No answer. Called again. No answer. I called, and more loudly. No answer. We rushed up to Ethan's grandmother's house. His grandfather had just gotten home and said there was nobody else in the house.
So, we headed up the street, hoping that she had gone to the wading pool, calling, "Maaaargaaaaaaux."
Finally she answered. That sweet, "Yes, Mom?"
I said, "What are you doing? Why are you up here?" She said nothing. She got out of the cold water, with just her skort on (I thought that was cool) and I said, "Not acceptable." She started up the path and Ethan's grandmother said, "Margaux told me she had permission to leave the house." I said, "She didn't." Jan apologized. I'll talk with her later about it. I was not upset with Jan. Had Margaux asked me, I'd have absolutely said, "yes."
Now, she not only didn't tell me she was leaving, but she lied to Jan. I guess the extra moments it would have taken to tell me must have seemed way too long to bother with. I can understand being little and wanting things immediately, but I want her to know that it is not okay to leave and not tell me.
So, over lunch we discussed this situation, and we grounded her overnight. I'm not sure if this is the right thing. She cried, of course, yeah, she cried. She wept. Shahram and I made it clear to her that we are not mad, that we were only very concerned with not being able to find her. On top of this, she had had a bad fall over the weekend, having really torn up both knees an elbow and the heel of one hand. Now, being in the cold cold chlorinated water made these wounds start to ooze. This is Margaux's first experience with anything on her body looking like this and she is pretty freaked. Then, I think all this drama made her start to miss her dad. So she called and left a message at his home in Pennsylvania. He'll be at a loss for its reason, but he'll call her back.
She really wanted hugs, so I held her for a long time and told her that I love her. She feels bad for lying to Ethan's grandma and for worrying us. I think she understand that she should tell us. Should I stick to the punishment? Was the punishment wrong from the get go?
I want to do the right thing.
Help?
Nichole
Nichole, mother of Margaux,
Wife to love-of-my-life Shahram,
Developer of the web,
On the winding, spiritual, educational,
Always interesting journey called
Life.
Nichole Fausey
Fausey Incorporated
www.FauseyDoesIT.com
Information Technology
NFausey@...
212 State Street Suite #4
Helena MT 59601
406.457.2824
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/16/03 2:34:12 PM, ms_fausey@... writes:
<< I guess the extra moments it would have taken to tell me must have seemed
way too long to bother with. I can understand being little and wanting
things immediately, but I want her to know that it is not okay to leave and not
tell me. >>
I would tell her you were really afraid, that your stomach felt sick at
thinking you might never see her again.
<<and we grounded her overnight. I'm not sure if this is the right thing.
She cried, of course, yeah, she cried. She wept. >>
So your stomach hurt and then HER stomach hurt for hours and hours?
Vengeance?
<<I think she understand that she should tell us. Should I stick to the
punishment? Was the punishment wrong from the get go? >>
What do you consider the purpose of punishment to be?
WHY did you want to punish her?
I'd undo the being grounded thing and talk to her about why you felt so
afraid and frustrated.
Sandra
<< I guess the extra moments it would have taken to tell me must have seemed
way too long to bother with. I can understand being little and wanting
things immediately, but I want her to know that it is not okay to leave and not
tell me. >>
I would tell her you were really afraid, that your stomach felt sick at
thinking you might never see her again.
<<and we grounded her overnight. I'm not sure if this is the right thing.
She cried, of course, yeah, she cried. She wept. >>
So your stomach hurt and then HER stomach hurt for hours and hours?
Vengeance?
<<I think she understand that she should tell us. Should I stick to the
punishment? Was the punishment wrong from the get go? >>
What do you consider the purpose of punishment to be?
WHY did you want to punish her?
I'd undo the being grounded thing and talk to her about why you felt so
afraid and frustrated.
Sandra
Deborah Lewis
Nichole, I don't think she lied.
Really, I don't think she lied.
I think she knew she was going to the pool anyway and she knew you knew
and when a grown up person offered to take her to the place she and you
had planned for her to go anyway... it all made sense to her. Permission
to leave the house to go to the pool? That was the plan, right?
I get no sense at all that she deliberately did a sneaky thing to get her
own way.
So, this will make you feel yucky and you don't have to read the rest...
<g>
I would have told her I was very scared and worried when I couldn't find
her and that she always needs to check with you, even if a thing is
prearranged, so that you know when she's leaving and who she's with.
I would have let her stay at the pool.
I wouldn't have grounded her.
You punished BJ too, you know, and Ethan.
I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scared
you so much when she left without telling you.
AND, if you read this far, don't be too hard on yourself. <g>
Deb L
Really, I don't think she lied.
I think she knew she was going to the pool anyway and she knew you knew
and when a grown up person offered to take her to the place she and you
had planned for her to go anyway... it all made sense to her. Permission
to leave the house to go to the pool? That was the plan, right?
I get no sense at all that she deliberately did a sneaky thing to get her
own way.
So, this will make you feel yucky and you don't have to read the rest...
<g>
I would have told her I was very scared and worried when I couldn't find
her and that she always needs to check with you, even if a thing is
prearranged, so that you know when she's leaving and who she's with.
I would have let her stay at the pool.
I wouldn't have grounded her.
You punished BJ too, you know, and Ethan.
I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scared
you so much when she left without telling you.
AND, if you read this far, don't be too hard on yourself. <g>
Deb L
[email protected]
Well said, Deb. I just learned even more about parenting, just now! Thanks!
Tim T
I think she knew she was going to the pool anyway and she knew you knew
and when a grown up person offered to take her to the place she and you
had planned for her to go anyway... it all made sense to her. Permission
to leave the house to go to the pool? That was the plan, right?
I get no sense at all that she deliberately did a sneaky thing to get her
own way.
So, this will make you feel yucky and you don't have to read the rest...
<g>
I would have told her I was very scared and worried when I couldn't find
her and that she always needs to check with you, even if a thing is
prearranged, so that you know when she's leaving and who she's with.
I would have let her stay at the pool.
I wouldn't have grounded her.
You punished BJ too, you know, and Ethan.
I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scared
you so much when she left without telling you.
AND, if you read this far, don't be too hard on yourself. <g>
Deb L
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tim T
>>Nichole, I don't think she lied.Really, I don't think she lied.
I think she knew she was going to the pool anyway and she knew you knew
and when a grown up person offered to take her to the place she and you
had planned for her to go anyway... it all made sense to her. Permission
to leave the house to go to the pool? That was the plan, right?
I get no sense at all that she deliberately did a sneaky thing to get her
own way.
So, this will make you feel yucky and you don't have to read the rest...
<g>
I would have told her I was very scared and worried when I couldn't find
her and that she always needs to check with you, even if a thing is
prearranged, so that you know when she's leaving and who she's with.
I would have let her stay at the pool.
I wouldn't have grounded her.
You punished BJ too, you know, and Ethan.
I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scared
you so much when she left without telling you.
AND, if you read this far, don't be too hard on yourself. <g>
Deb L
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/16/03 2:08:06 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
ddzimlew@... writes:
I agree completely with Deb. From the instant I read, "she lied" I
immediately thought I don't think she did. I believe in kid thought, she as Deb said,
knew she was going to the pool and assumed when Ethan's grandma came to take
them, that it must have been the appropriate time.
I fully know that rush of the heart when for 2 seconds you don't know where
they are. I'd explain that to her, but I'd also unground her and apologize that
I had punished her based on my own erratic emotions, however justified they
may have been.
After all she is six, right? And I think an explaination to Ethan's grandma
and BJ's mom are necessary also, because you villified your child in front of
them and she deserves reprieve. Maybe villified was a bad choice of words, but
my head hurts from reflecting on myself so much today. So sorry if it seemed
hurtful, I was thinking about being a six year old, who's mom thought she lied
and was punished in front of my friends and their adult caretakers.
Rhonda - who by the way is not being hard on Nichole, I could feel the same
race of the heart just reading the original post.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ddzimlew@... writes:
> Nichole, I don't think she lied.Nichole,
> Really, I don't think she lied.
> I think she knew she was going to the pool anyway and she knew you knew
> and when a grown up person offered to take her to the place she and you
> had planned for her to go anyway... it all made sense to her. Permission
> to leave the house to go to the pool? That was the plan, right?
>
> I get no sense at all that she deliberately did a sneaky thing to get her
> own way.
>
> So, this will make you feel yucky and you don't have to read the rest...
> <g>
>
> I would have told her I was very scared and worried when I couldn't find
> her and that she always needs to check with you, even if a thing is
> prearranged, so that you know when she's leaving and who she's with.
>
> I would have let her stay at the pool.
>
> I wouldn't have grounded her.
>
> You punished BJ too, you know, and Ethan.
>
> I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scared
> you so much when she left without telling you.
>
> AND, if you read this far, don't be too hard on yourself. <g>
>
> Deb L
>
I agree completely with Deb. From the instant I read, "she lied" I
immediately thought I don't think she did. I believe in kid thought, she as Deb said,
knew she was going to the pool and assumed when Ethan's grandma came to take
them, that it must have been the appropriate time.
I fully know that rush of the heart when for 2 seconds you don't know where
they are. I'd explain that to her, but I'd also unground her and apologize that
I had punished her based on my own erratic emotions, however justified they
may have been.
After all she is six, right? And I think an explaination to Ethan's grandma
and BJ's mom are necessary also, because you villified your child in front of
them and she deserves reprieve. Maybe villified was a bad choice of words, but
my head hurts from reflecting on myself so much today. So sorry if it seemed
hurtful, I was thinking about being a six year old, who's mom thought she lied
and was punished in front of my friends and their adult caretakers.
Rhonda - who by the way is not being hard on Nichole, I could feel the same
race of the heart just reading the original post.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fausey-Khosraviani
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 2:48 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Leaving yard w/o permission
In a message dated 6/16/03 2:34:12 PM, ms_fausey@... writes:
<< I guess the extra moments it would have taken to tell me must have seemed
way too long to bother with. I can understand being little and wanting
things immediately, but I want her to know that it is not okay to leave and not
tell me. >>
I would tell her you were really afraid, that your stomach felt sick at
thinking you might never see her again.
<<and we grounded her overnight. I'm not sure if this is the right thing.
She cried, of course, yeah, she cried. She wept. >>
So your stomach hurt and then HER stomach hurt for hours and hours?
Vengeance?
Ugh... I didn't have vengeance in mind at all. I feel really bad about it.
<<I think she understand that she should tell us. Should I stick to the
punishment? Was the punishment wrong from the get go? >>
What do you consider the purpose of punishment to be?
WHY did you want to punish her?
I don't want to punish her, per se. I didn't even want to use the word punish, but discipline didn't fit, but I guess it really is punishment. I wanted her to remember this and to never repeat it.
I'd undo the being grounded thing and talk to her about why you felt so
afraid and frustrated.
Sandra
Okay, cool. I'll do that. After I got done writing the initial email to this group, Margaux asked me if we could read together. So we did that for about 30 minutes and then she wanted to sleep. I slept with her for about 20 minutes. She's still sleeping. So, the whole incident was a total of 3 1/2 hours. It started at 1:30 and is 5:09 now. When she wakes up, I'll talk with her and take her off being grounded. Thank you for the advice and I did want the constructive criticism. I want to be a good mom and raise Margaux the best way I can. Thanks, Sandra.
Nichole
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fausey-Khosraviani
----- Original Message -----
From: Deborah Lewis
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 3:02 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Leaving yard w/o permission
Nichole, I don't think she lied.
Really, I don't think she lied.
I think she knew she was going to the pool anyway and she knew you knew
and when a grown up person offered to take her to the place she and you
had planned for her to go anyway... it all made sense to her. Permission
to leave the house to go to the pool? That was the plan, right?
Deb, I think you're right. I don't think she lied either. I feel worse about accusing her of lying than I do about grounding her, which will also be remedied in a few moments. Poor little babes.
I get no sense at all that she deliberately did a sneaky thing to get her
own way.
Margaux's not sneaky like that, you're right.
So, this will make you feel yucky and you don't have to read the rest...
<g>
I would have told her I was very scared and worried when I couldn't find
her and that she always needs to check with you, even if a thing is
prearranged, so that you know when she's leaving and who she's with.
I would have let her stay at the pool.
I wouldn't have grounded her.
You punished BJ too, you know, and Ethan.
Yeah, I knew that, too. Felt bad about that, too.
I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scared
you so much when she left without telling you.
AND, if you read this far, don't be too hard on yourself. <g>
Deb L
Thanks, Deb, yeah, I'm being hard on myself. Margaux does know that it is my biggest and worst fear, and BJ knows, and Barda knows. Perhaps I'm too paranoid about her being picked up, but it really did freak me.
Thank you for your level-headed advice, Deb.
Nichole
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fausey-Khosraviani
----- Original Message -----
From: RJHill241@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 3:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Leaving yard w/o permission
In a message dated 6/16/03 2:08:06 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
ddzimlew@... writes:>
Nichole,
I agree completely with Deb. From the instant I read, "she lied" I
immediately thought I don't think she did. I believe in kid thought, she as Deb said,
knew she was going to the pool and assumed when Ethan's grandma came to take
them, that it must have been the appropriate time.
Why couldn't I see that?!
I fully know that rush of the heart when for 2 seconds you don't know where
they are. I'd explain that to her, but I'd also unground her and apologize that
I had punished her based on my own erratic emotions, however justified they
may have been.
Yes, I will.
After all she is six, right? And I think an explaination to Ethan's grandma
and BJ's mom are necessary also, because you villified your child in front of
them and she deserves reprieve. Maybe villified was a bad choice of words, but
my head hurts from reflecting on myself so much today. So sorry if it seemed
hurtful, I was thinking about being a six year old, who's mom thought she lied
and was punished in front of my friends and their adult caretakers.
Yeah, I'll talk to all involved.
Rhonda - who by the way is not being hard on Nichole, I could feel the same
race of the heart just reading the original post.
Thanks, Rhonda. I appreciate your reply. Thank you.
Nichole, self-reflecting
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/16/03 4:34:05 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ms_fausey@... writes:
permission to leave the house. It was set up ahead of time and she knew she
was going wading that day. Sometimes children have a hard time with "time."
Morning afternoon, after lunch etc. I bet she wasn't trying to sneak out or to
lie to someone. Personally I would not have "grounded" her. We don't use
punishment here. I would have explained why I was worried and that I didn't know
where she was etc, etc. Explained that we try to tell each other where we
are going. Approx. when we will be back etc.
Just my thoughts on the issue.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ms_fausey@... writes:
> Now, she not only didn't tell me she was leaving, but she lied to Jan. IThis has probably already been answered but....She probably thought she had
> guess the extra moments it would have taken to tell me must have seemed way
> too long to bother with. I can understand being little and wanting things
> immediately, but I want her to know that it is not okay to leave and not tell me.
>
>
permission to leave the house. It was set up ahead of time and she knew she
was going wading that day. Sometimes children have a hard time with "time."
Morning afternoon, after lunch etc. I bet she wasn't trying to sneak out or to
lie to someone. Personally I would not have "grounded" her. We don't use
punishment here. I would have explained why I was worried and that I didn't know
where she was etc, etc. Explained that we try to tell each other where we
are going. Approx. when we will be back etc.
Just my thoughts on the issue.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/16/03 7:20:50 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ms_fausey@... writes:
her as well.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ms_fausey@... writes:
> I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scaredAnd admitting you made a bad decision is really modeling a great thing for
> you so much when she left without telling you.
>
>
her as well.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fausey-Khosraviani
----- Original Message -----
From: genant2@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 6:42 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Leaving yard w/o permission
In a message dated 6/16/03 4:34:05 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ms_fausey@... writes:
> Now, she not only didn't tell me she was leaving, but she lied to Jan. I
> guess the extra moments it would have taken to tell me must have seemed way
> too long to bother with. I can understand being little and wanting things
> immediately, but I want her to know that it is not okay to leave and not tell me.
>
>
This has probably already been answered but....She probably thought she had
permission to leave the house. It was set up ahead of time and she knew she
was going wading that day. Sometimes children have a hard time with "time."
Morning afternoon, after lunch etc. I bet she wasn't trying to sneak out or to
lie to someone. Personally I would not have "grounded" her. We don't use
punishment here. I would have explained why I was worried and that I didn't know
where she was etc, etc. Explained that we try to tell each other where we
are going. Approx. when we will be back etc.
Just my thoughts on the issue.
Pam G.
*********
Thank you, Pam. After I had replied to a few people here on their replies to me, I went back in with Margaux who was still sleeping. I laid down on the bed and put my head on her belly. She woke softly and thanked me for napping with her. I told her she was no longer grounded. She asked why. I told her that I was wrong to ground her in the first place and that I was sorry to Ethan and BJ, too. I told her that I was just very upset and scared about not seeing her when it was lunch time and when I couldn't hear her when I called. I explained that even when it is arranged ahead of time for someone to pick her up, she must always tell me before she leaves. Even if Barda is on her way over and Margaux goes outside to wait for her, she must still tell me when she actually is leaving. I really think she understands this now. I told her I was/am very sorry and she just said, "Don't worry." She's so very kind.
So, thank you, Pam, for your reply. And thanks to everyone else, too, who helped.
Thank you.
Nichole, self-reflecting still
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fausey-Khosraviani
Oh, I also apologized to Margaux for accusing her of lying. She hugged my head and said, "I forgive you, Mama."
sigh......
Thanks everyone.
Nichole
sigh......
Thanks everyone.
Nichole
----- Original Message -----
From: genant2@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 6:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Leaving yard w/o permission
In a message dated 6/16/03 7:20:50 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ms_fausey@... writes:
> I would apologize and tell her you made a bad decision because it scared
> you so much when she left without telling you.
>
>
And admitting you made a bad decision is really modeling a great thing for
her as well.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/16/03 6:05:10 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
ms_fausey@... writes:
I think you did a spectacular job! Not only did you take the time to reflect
on your own actions, but to take the time to explain why you changed your
position, shows your child how much you value her and her own understanding. You
gave her a new foundation to work with, but I'd be sure to still give
reminders simply because she is six. IOW, just because she understands today, doesn't
mean she'll remember it the next time. But the foundation is there and I think
that is most important. As for your child being kind, would you expect less?
Perhaps she simply displays what she sees demostrated. As lucky as you are to
have her for your child, she is equally lucky to have you for her mom.
Congrats to both of you for all you "learned" today. I see it as a very
productive day for both of you, even in its most stressful moments.
Rhonda - just my perspective
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ms_fausey@... writes:
> I explained that even when it is arranged ahead of time for someone to pickNichole,
> her up, she must always tell me before she leaves. Even if Barda is on her
> way over and Margaux goes outside to wait for her, she must still tell me
> when she actually is leaving. I really think she understands this now. I told
> her I was/am very sorry and she just said, "Don't worry." She's so very
> kind.
>
I think you did a spectacular job! Not only did you take the time to reflect
on your own actions, but to take the time to explain why you changed your
position, shows your child how much you value her and her own understanding. You
gave her a new foundation to work with, but I'd be sure to still give
reminders simply because she is six. IOW, just because she understands today, doesn't
mean she'll remember it the next time. But the foundation is there and I think
that is most important. As for your child being kind, would you expect less?
Perhaps she simply displays what she sees demostrated. As lucky as you are to
have her for your child, she is equally lucky to have you for her mom.
Congrats to both of you for all you "learned" today. I see it as a very
productive day for both of you, even in its most stressful moments.
Rhonda - just my perspective
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fausey-Khosraviani
Thank you, Rhonda. I, too, felt that many lessons were learned today. Yes, a rather productive day.
Thank you, again.
Nichole
Thank you, again.
Nichole
----- Original Message -----
From: RJHill241@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 7:36 PM
Nichole,
I think you did a spectacular job! Not only did you take the time to reflect
on your own actions, but to take the time to explain why you changed your
position, shows your child how much you value her and her own understanding. You
gave her a new foundation to work with, but I'd be sure to still give
reminders simply because she is six. IOW, just because she understands today, doesn't
mean she'll remember it the next time. But the foundation is there and I think
that is most important. As for your child being kind, would you expect less?
Perhaps she simply displays what she sees demostrated. As lucky as you are to
have her for your child, she is equally lucky to have you for her mom.
Congrats to both of you for all you "learned" today. I see it as a very
productive day for both of you, even in its most stressful moments.
Rhonda - just my perspective
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]