Olga
In a message dated 6/10/2003 9:24:22 AM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
choices we can get so caught up in it that we do not see the forest
for the trees. It sounded to me, like you were so concerned about
disrespecting Elliot's wishes that you lost sight of what was
happening. If this kid thinks you are condoning his behavior, I
shudder to think what he will do if you are not around. You, as an
adult and property owner have the right to discourage that type of
behaviour. To be honest, if I see any kids treating a child, not my
own, that way I would step in. I see it at the park sometimes. Kids
thinking they can get nasty when there parents are not around. I
give them a hellavu look and then intervene. It is not about control
but protection. When someone becomes *weaker* in a situation like
this, they sometimes need help. If I am not comfortable with a
child, if I think he is harming my children then I will step in. My
children will NOT play with them and I am honest to my children about
why. There are times I reserve the right to play *parent*. This
child is wounding your children's self-esteem far more than you would
be by intervening. You could also just call your children inside and
then go out and deal with him so it does not look like you are coming
in as your child's aide. It sounds like Elliot may be afraid of
looking like a *baby* or *whimp* so he does not want you to get
involved, but sending an 8 yo to deal with a 13yo is not a fair
battle. Good luck.
Olga :)
[email protected] writes:
> After discussing this all tonight, Kyle says that he wants me tointervene
> now. So I'm wondering how I should handle it? I don't want whateverI do to
> cause Elliot to then sneak behind everyone's back to bully my son.Maybe that
> is inevitable, I don't know.I think in some of our efforts to give our children freedom of
choices we can get so caught up in it that we do not see the forest
for the trees. It sounded to me, like you were so concerned about
disrespecting Elliot's wishes that you lost sight of what was
happening. If this kid thinks you are condoning his behavior, I
shudder to think what he will do if you are not around. You, as an
adult and property owner have the right to discourage that type of
behaviour. To be honest, if I see any kids treating a child, not my
own, that way I would step in. I see it at the park sometimes. Kids
thinking they can get nasty when there parents are not around. I
give them a hellavu look and then intervene. It is not about control
but protection. When someone becomes *weaker* in a situation like
this, they sometimes need help. If I am not comfortable with a
child, if I think he is harming my children then I will step in. My
children will NOT play with them and I am honest to my children about
why. There are times I reserve the right to play *parent*. This
child is wounding your children's self-esteem far more than you would
be by intervening. You could also just call your children inside and
then go out and deal with him so it does not look like you are coming
in as your child's aide. It sounds like Elliot may be afraid of
looking like a *baby* or *whimp* so he does not want you to get
involved, but sending an 8 yo to deal with a 13yo is not a fair
battle. Good luck.
Olga :)