chosing battles
Mary
I'll start off by saying I feel like a real poop!!!
My Sierra is very sensitive. Some of you may remember awhile ago me talking about how she would sometimes cry and get so worked up over what seemed like nothing to the rest of us. She would really lose it. Well some of you here helped me try and understand what it must be like for her and we have thankfully ended those crying jags and overwhelmed moments.
She's still very sensitive about certain things, especially when it comes to any kind of injury or the slightest bit of discomfort. We work with that and are also doing well.
Now here's the me being a poop part. She has this tooth, front upper tooth that is very loose. She has lost 2 bottom and the other front tooth, latest one just like last week. I actually pulled it for her. It takes her awhile to want it out. I have been patient, never pull unless she says to do it and I let her know I will try. I try once and if she says no more, than no more.
Last week, after the first top tooth came out, the next one seemed even looser than that one. I tried to get it out, it was in there much more than I expected and she decided not to try again. (she doesn't want to ge them out herself) So far everything okay.
This tooth is still hanging there. I don't know how it's still there. She can't eat right, talk right or brush her teeth right. The permanent tooth is already in behind it. I don't know what it is about this situation that has me so anal. She doesn't want this tooth out. No big deal, it's bound to come out eventually.
My problem is why I'm so darn anal about this that I can't let it go and leave her alone. It's a stupid little tooth!!! Tonight I actually got upset with her for crying about not wanting it pulled. How stupid is that? Don't answer. I plan on talking to her tomorrow morning and apologizing to her for what I said or how I made her feel.
I guess I'm wondering why such a back slide over something so small? I am so easy going with the kids and am usually the one to calm situations if my husband gets a little antsy over something. Tonight it was the other way around. I'm just wondering why this bothers me so much and although I won't let it happen again, I'm worried that something else might make me react the same way. This just doesn't seem like me.
Mary B
I
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My Sierra is very sensitive. Some of you may remember awhile ago me talking about how she would sometimes cry and get so worked up over what seemed like nothing to the rest of us. She would really lose it. Well some of you here helped me try and understand what it must be like for her and we have thankfully ended those crying jags and overwhelmed moments.
She's still very sensitive about certain things, especially when it comes to any kind of injury or the slightest bit of discomfort. We work with that and are also doing well.
Now here's the me being a poop part. She has this tooth, front upper tooth that is very loose. She has lost 2 bottom and the other front tooth, latest one just like last week. I actually pulled it for her. It takes her awhile to want it out. I have been patient, never pull unless she says to do it and I let her know I will try. I try once and if she says no more, than no more.
Last week, after the first top tooth came out, the next one seemed even looser than that one. I tried to get it out, it was in there much more than I expected and she decided not to try again. (she doesn't want to ge them out herself) So far everything okay.
This tooth is still hanging there. I don't know how it's still there. She can't eat right, talk right or brush her teeth right. The permanent tooth is already in behind it. I don't know what it is about this situation that has me so anal. She doesn't want this tooth out. No big deal, it's bound to come out eventually.
My problem is why I'm so darn anal about this that I can't let it go and leave her alone. It's a stupid little tooth!!! Tonight I actually got upset with her for crying about not wanting it pulled. How stupid is that? Don't answer. I plan on talking to her tomorrow morning and apologizing to her for what I said or how I made her feel.
I guess I'm wondering why such a back slide over something so small? I am so easy going with the kids and am usually the one to calm situations if my husband gets a little antsy over something. Tonight it was the other way around. I'm just wondering why this bothers me so much and although I won't let it happen again, I'm worried that something else might make me react the same way. This just doesn't seem like me.
Mary B
I
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kayb85
Don't be so hard on yourself! I bet your desire is to make her
comfortable. I bet it would bother you to have a loose tooth hanging
like that in your mouth. I bet it doesn't bother her. You probably
can't understand how she could be more comfortable with the tooth
hanging there than to have you try to get it out. Just keep telling
yourself that your goal is to make her comfortable and that what
makes her comfortable is different than what makes you comfortable.
She can be comfortable without having her loose tooth pulled just
like kids can learn without doing workbooks. Different strokes for
different folks. :)
Know that there are many of us who would rather have a loose tooth
hang there for months than let someone pull it out. I definitely
fall into that category!
Sheila
actually got upset with her for crying about not wanting it pulled.
How stupid is that? Don't answer. I plan on talking to her tomorrow
morning and apologizing to her for what I said or how I made her
feel.
calm situations if my husband gets a little antsy over something.
Tonight it was the other way around. I'm just wondering why this
bothers me so much and although I won't let it happen again, I'm
worried that something else might make me react the same way. This
just doesn't seem like me.
comfortable. I bet it would bother you to have a loose tooth hanging
like that in your mouth. I bet it doesn't bother her. You probably
can't understand how she could be more comfortable with the tooth
hanging there than to have you try to get it out. Just keep telling
yourself that your goal is to make her comfortable and that what
makes her comfortable is different than what makes you comfortable.
She can be comfortable without having her loose tooth pulled just
like kids can learn without doing workbooks. Different strokes for
different folks. :)
Know that there are many of us who would rather have a loose tooth
hang there for months than let someone pull it out. I definitely
fall into that category!
Sheila
> My problem is why I'm so darn anal about this that I can't let itgo and leave her alone. It's a stupid little tooth!!! Tonight I
actually got upset with her for crying about not wanting it pulled.
How stupid is that? Don't answer. I plan on talking to her tomorrow
morning and apologizing to her for what I said or how I made her
feel.
>small? I am so easy going with the kids and am usually the one to
> I guess I'm wondering why such a back slide over something so
calm situations if my husband gets a little antsy over something.
Tonight it was the other way around. I'm just wondering why this
bothers me so much and although I won't let it happen again, I'm
worried that something else might make me react the same way. This
just doesn't seem like me.
>
>
> Mary B
>
> I
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Mary, I know exactly how you feel. I've had similar reactions over loose
teeth. I know, its just a little tooth, it will come on out it own, etc etc
etc.. And, I HAVE gotten much much better with each child. I'm thinking back to
when Landon and Anna lost thier baby teeth and I obsessed over it so much. The
only thing I can attribute it to ( and I know this is no "excuse", just an
explanation), is just the sight of that tooth, HANGING there, barely held on.
You just keep thinking.. "oh oh, I can get it.. I can get, it will only take a
tug.. its SOOOO loose!." Its the same feeling I get when I see an annoying
bug just hovering, posing, waiting, BEGGING for me to SMACK! it. I am the
same way with zits and stuff.. I just have to squeeze them. ( on myself, I mean)
The loose tooth is an attractive nuisance .. lol. You see the kid being
bothered by it and you think, oh, just let me get ahold of it.. come on, it
will only take a second...
The best way I got over being annoyed by a hanging on tooth was to just try
to ignore it. I would keep telling myself, it will fall out, it will just
fall out.. be patient. And, I would often remind myself that the tooth was
bothering ME a lot more than it was the kid. Now, IF and WHEN the kid wanted
the tooth out, if they asked me to help them get it out, I found a great way to
pull teeth. Get a dry hand towel, cover your hand with it and then get ahold
of the tooth. The kid has so much towel in his mouth, and they can hardly
feel you getting the tooth. When the tooth is so loose its just hanging there,
all you really have to do is get a grip on it.with the towel and it comes
out. And the towel soaks up any blood or slobber. Usually my kids don't even
know I have pulled the tooth. They actually liked this method so much that
sometimes they asked me to pull thier tooth when it got really loose. But, my
kids have lost many more "on thier own" by biting an apple, jumping on the
trampoline, wrestling with thier siblings, .. that loose tooth would just fall
out in the normal process of living and playing.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
teeth. I know, its just a little tooth, it will come on out it own, etc etc
etc.. And, I HAVE gotten much much better with each child. I'm thinking back to
when Landon and Anna lost thier baby teeth and I obsessed over it so much. The
only thing I can attribute it to ( and I know this is no "excuse", just an
explanation), is just the sight of that tooth, HANGING there, barely held on.
You just keep thinking.. "oh oh, I can get it.. I can get, it will only take a
tug.. its SOOOO loose!." Its the same feeling I get when I see an annoying
bug just hovering, posing, waiting, BEGGING for me to SMACK! it. I am the
same way with zits and stuff.. I just have to squeeze them. ( on myself, I mean)
The loose tooth is an attractive nuisance .. lol. You see the kid being
bothered by it and you think, oh, just let me get ahold of it.. come on, it
will only take a second...
The best way I got over being annoyed by a hanging on tooth was to just try
to ignore it. I would keep telling myself, it will fall out, it will just
fall out.. be patient. And, I would often remind myself that the tooth was
bothering ME a lot more than it was the kid. Now, IF and WHEN the kid wanted
the tooth out, if they asked me to help them get it out, I found a great way to
pull teeth. Get a dry hand towel, cover your hand with it and then get ahold
of the tooth. The kid has so much towel in his mouth, and they can hardly
feel you getting the tooth. When the tooth is so loose its just hanging there,
all you really have to do is get a grip on it.with the towel and it comes
out. And the towel soaks up any blood or slobber. Usually my kids don't even
know I have pulled the tooth. They actually liked this method so much that
sometimes they asked me to pull thier tooth when it got really loose. But, my
kids have lost many more "on thier own" by biting an apple, jumping on the
trampoline, wrestling with thier siblings, .. that loose tooth would just fall
out in the normal process of living and playing.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/11/2003 8:23:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
grlynbl@... writes:
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
grlynbl@... writes:
> But, myKind of like learning! <G>
> kids have lost many more "on thier own" by biting an apple, jumping on the
> trampoline, wrestling with thier siblings, .. that loose tooth would just
> fall
> out in the normal process of living and playing.
>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary
From: "kayb85" <sheran@...>
<<Just keep telling
yourself that your goal is to make her comfortable and that what
makes her comfortable is different than what makes you comfortable.
She can be comfortable without having her loose tooth pulled just
like kids can learn without doing workbooks. Different strokes for
different folks. :) >>
LOL!! Thanks Sheila. I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was really
upset and couldn't wait until Sierra woke up so I could talk to her. She
came bounding in this morning to my bed like nothing happened at all last
night. The ohter kids were out and about the house so we had a chance to
really talk. She was fine with the whole thing and acted like it was no big
deal. I think too, after thinking very long about it, I am projecting some
of my own problems with my gums, because of not going to the dentist, on to
her teeth. Silly. I think I have a guilty conscious. I feel so much better
today and will remember this for future reference. It's all about her and
last night, well it wasn't.
Mary B
<<Just keep telling
yourself that your goal is to make her comfortable and that what
makes her comfortable is different than what makes you comfortable.
She can be comfortable without having her loose tooth pulled just
like kids can learn without doing workbooks. Different strokes for
different folks. :) >>
LOL!! Thanks Sheila. I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was really
upset and couldn't wait until Sierra woke up so I could talk to her. She
came bounding in this morning to my bed like nothing happened at all last
night. The ohter kids were out and about the house so we had a chance to
really talk. She was fine with the whole thing and acted like it was no big
deal. I think too, after thinking very long about it, I am projecting some
of my own problems with my gums, because of not going to the dentist, on to
her teeth. Silly. I think I have a guilty conscious. I feel so much better
today and will remember this for future reference. It's all about her and
last night, well it wasn't.
Mary B
Mary
From: <KathrynJB@...>
<<I can guarantee that something will make you respond the same way (or
another, new creative way) again, and you'll be disappointed about it. 'Cuz
sometimes
we're all jerks. But we can all apologize.>>
Thanks Kathryn.......I think. No really , thanks!
Mary B
<<I can guarantee that something will make you respond the same way (or
another, new creative way) again, and you'll be disappointed about it. 'Cuz
sometimes
we're all jerks. But we can all apologize.>>
Thanks Kathryn.......I think. No really , thanks!
Mary B
Mary
From: <grlynbl@...>
<<The only thing I can attribute it to ( and I know this is no "excuse",
just an
explanation), is just the sight of that tooth, HANGING there, barely held
on.
You just keep thinking.. "oh oh, I can get it.. I can get, it will only take
a
tug.. its SOOOO loose!." Its the same feeling I get when I see an annoying
bug just hovering, posing, waiting, BEGGING for me to SMACK! it. I am the
same way with zits and stuff.. I just have to squeeze them. ( on myself, I
mean)
The loose tooth is an attractive nuisance .. lol. You see the kid being
bothered by it and you think, oh, just let me get ahold of it.. come on, it
will only take a second... >>
Teresa, you made me laugh. You sound like Tara when she sees a pimple....on
anyone, she doesn't care!!! She's ran after Joe quite a few times wanting to
"get it!"
And yes I think that is a part of. I'm reminded of that damn tooth every
time Sierra looks at me. Since the other front one is gone and this one is
soooo loose, it's about in the middle of her mouth turned sideways. She
looks like snaggle tooth. But really doesn't even care about that. She talks
funny and has a hard time brushing around there. And although it certainly
hasn't stopped her from eating, (she's on her 2nd bagel so far this morning)
it takes her forever to do it. And I guess just see it as so much easier to
just pull it out and it's over with. Tara keeps reminding her that the kids
get 3 bucks for a top front tooth!!! She doesn't care!
Tara pulled all her own teeth. She would sit up on the bathroom counter with
a paper towel and not get down until that tooth was out. She made me cringe
a few times!! Joseph, as soon as they were loose enough to bother him would
come and ask me to pull them. I'm thinking already that Alyssa will knock
hers out before their time!!! (she feel off her step stool today)
Thanks for understanding and the light moment.
Mary B
<<The only thing I can attribute it to ( and I know this is no "excuse",
just an
explanation), is just the sight of that tooth, HANGING there, barely held
on.
You just keep thinking.. "oh oh, I can get it.. I can get, it will only take
a
tug.. its SOOOO loose!." Its the same feeling I get when I see an annoying
bug just hovering, posing, waiting, BEGGING for me to SMACK! it. I am the
same way with zits and stuff.. I just have to squeeze them. ( on myself, I
mean)
The loose tooth is an attractive nuisance .. lol. You see the kid being
bothered by it and you think, oh, just let me get ahold of it.. come on, it
will only take a second... >>
Teresa, you made me laugh. You sound like Tara when she sees a pimple....on
anyone, she doesn't care!!! She's ran after Joe quite a few times wanting to
"get it!"
And yes I think that is a part of. I'm reminded of that damn tooth every
time Sierra looks at me. Since the other front one is gone and this one is
soooo loose, it's about in the middle of her mouth turned sideways. She
looks like snaggle tooth. But really doesn't even care about that. She talks
funny and has a hard time brushing around there. And although it certainly
hasn't stopped her from eating, (she's on her 2nd bagel so far this morning)
it takes her forever to do it. And I guess just see it as so much easier to
just pull it out and it's over with. Tara keeps reminding her that the kids
get 3 bucks for a top front tooth!!! She doesn't care!
Tara pulled all her own teeth. She would sit up on the bathroom counter with
a paper towel and not get down until that tooth was out. She made me cringe
a few times!! Joseph, as soon as they were loose enough to bother him would
come and ask me to pull them. I'm thinking already that Alyssa will knock
hers out before their time!!! (she feel off her step stool today)
Thanks for understanding and the light moment.
Mary B
zenmomma2kids
>> I guess I'm wondering why such a back slide over something sosmall? >>
You're human?
>>I am so easy going with the kids and am usually the one to calmsituations if my husband gets a little antsy over something. Tonight
it was the other way around. >>
I'm thinking you just had a moment. We all do. We cut our kids a lot
of slack to have, and recover from, these moments. Cut yourself the
same slack.
>>I'm worried that something else might make me react the same way.>>Stop worrying and just remain mindful of the possiblity that it might
sneak up on you again. If it does, take a deep breath and recall this
situation. Let it come and let it go. Remeber how you recognized you
were overreacting and caught yourself before it went too far. You'll
be able to remain calm and centered as new situations arise.
>>This just doesn't seem like me.>>It was you for one moment in time. Let it go. It doesn't define you
NOW or in the future.
Life is good.
~Mary
Mary
From: "zenmomma2kids" <zenmomma@...>
<<It was you for one moment in time. Let it go. It doesn't define you
NOW or in the future.>>
Whenver I read something you wrote, I always have this sweet calming voice
in my head as I'm reading it. It just comes across as so relaxing and
gentle, like a nice massage. Thank you.
Mary B
<<It was you for one moment in time. Let it go. It doesn't define you
NOW or in the future.>>
Whenver I read something you wrote, I always have this sweet calming voice
in my head as I'm reading it. It just comes across as so relaxing and
gentle, like a nice massage. Thank you.
Mary B