[email protected]

I understand the concepts of unschooling. I do alot of it just
naturally,ie. reading fun books and such. My biggest concern is .....is there any way
I can help him by hopefully ,maybe getting him to want to HS? He could then
take time to study and think about what he really wants to do both now and in
his future. Does that make sense? I hope I don't sound like I am trying to
control him, esp since that goes against unschooling.

Londa <A HREF="www.mymomishome.com">www.mymomishome.com</A>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/9/2003 2:50:16 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Loniam@...
writes:
> My biggest concern is .....is there any way
> I can help him by hopefully ,maybe getting him to want to HS? He could then
>
> take time to study and think about what he really wants to do both now and
> in
> his future. Does that make sense? I hope I don't sound like I am trying to
> control him, esp since that goes against unschooling.

Make every day MORE FUN than school could possibly be---even on a *good*
school day!

Go out to eat.
Go to a movie---or three.
Go to the beach.
Or the mountains.
Go for a walk.
And a picnic.
Buy a new skateboard.
And some ice cream.

He doesn't need to think about what he wants to "study". He needs time to do
"apparently" do nothing. Let him unwind from school.

School is very draining. He might watch tv for weeks. Play video games for
weeks. At that age, he may very well SLEEP for weeks.

Mine did. When he finally awoke, he was *almost* ready to explore his world
again.

He needs time to heal and get interested in learning again.

Don't nag. You'll have to "start over"! <G>

Let him just be a tired human for a while. He'll come out when he's ready.
Meanwhile, enjoy him. Talk with him. PLAY with him.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 6/9/03 2:49 AM, Loniam@... at Loniam@... wrote:

> I understand the concepts of unschooling. I do alot of it just
> naturally,ie. reading fun books and such.

I suspect what you mean is that you read fun books to make learning fun.

I read fun books because I don't like reading unfun ones ;-)

The principle of unschooling isn't to make school learning fun. It's to
provide freedom for children to live life in. Part of that freedom is the
freedom to not have to read unfun books :-)

> He could then
> take time to study and think about what he really wants to do both now and in
> his future.

If you're wanting him to homeschool for that reason it won't hold much
attraction for him. You want him to want what you want for him. It's not
that you want bad things for him. It sounds like you want good things for
him. But no matter how good a thing someone else wants for us, if it isn't
what we want, then it's a bad thing.

If your life were a movie, your son would be a world class skateboarder with
a mom who wanted nothing more than for him to put down the skateboard and to
study to get into college. It would be obvious to the audience the son was
right to pursue his dream and the mom was wrong to make him want to pursue
her dream for him.

Real life isn't quite so obvious but the principles are the same. Honor him
for who he is. Who he is is someone who likes skateboarding magazines right
now.

(Also while he's in school, who he is is someone who is trying to use what
little time he has in the day that isn't dealing with school to follow his
interests, recover from school pressures, and be social with his friends.
And maybe squeeze in some family time. But if family time has any negative
feelings about how he spends his time, it probably feels better to spend the
time away from family.)

> I think he feels disappointed
> with himself but not sure what he wants to do.

He's getting conflicting signals. The world says he's not worth anything
unless he succeeds in school. His internal voice may be saying but there are
things I value more than school so what does that make me?

He needs time to figure out who *he* is, not time to find interests that
are limited to just subjects that the world deems worthwhile. Let the whole
world be allowable for interests. Right now it's skateboarding magazines.
Could he get a job in a skateboarding shop? Go to skateboarding
competitions? Visit all the skate parks in the area?

Maybe he's interested in photography. Maybe he could take pictures. Maybe he
could find out magazines require of photographs and send some in.

Joyce

zenmomma2kids

>>My biggest concern is .....is there any way I can help him by
hopefully ,maybe getting him to want to HS? >>

I'd rather see him want to UNschool. Homeschool brings in subjects
and schoolish thinking. Unschool brings in life. If you offer him a
happy, fun, interesting, full life without school right NOW, he may
just decide to skip school. I'd make sure he knows that what you're
talking about is very different from schooling at home.

>>He could then take time to study and think about what he really
wants to do both now and in his future.>>

Why not let him just do what he wants to do NOW rather than thinking
about it for the future? He doesn't need to study. He needs to pursue
his interests, live his dreams and explore his world. And it's all
available to him NOW.

Life is good.
~Mary

[email protected]

Well, I lost the post, but someone mentioned Depression. Judy I think.
Anyway, I have considered that too. We had a councelor for a while and he
thought maybe he was. He didn't prescribe anything tho. I have considered asking
to the doc and trying one. If he needs it, itwill help if he doesn't it won't
and we will discontinue. The hormone changes can really mess one up. Poor kid.

Londa <A HREF="www.mymomishome.com">www.mymomishome.com</A>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/9/03 4:07:43 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
fetteroll@... writes:

> He's getting conflicting signals. The world says he's not worth anything
> unless he succeeds in school. His internal voice may be saying but there are
> things I value more than school so what does that make me?
>

Ohhhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh!!!

Okay, so I said in my last post I need to not talk so much, but DH and I had
this talk just today while eating our leftover-roast-tacos. This paragraph
reminds me of that new commercial running in California right now by First Five,
a supposedly educational group. It begins with a college student saying if he
goes to college, he will be a happier adult, then to a high school student
saying if he does "well" in high school, he'll get into a "good" college, then
down to jr high, then down to elementary and then get this: If I attend
preschool and do well....WHAT???? Talk about getting kids out of the house at an early
age!!! This is the exact propaganda that makes children believe if they don't
fit the mold, their lives won't be happy and therefore possibly not worthy of
living. I mean teens are killing each other and themselves at an alarming
rate and yet here's our state trying to shove them into those ugly little desks
when they can hardly wipe their a$$ well.

Rhonda - who is feeling a rant coming on and better stop now so she can get
thru this mail!!!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]