[email protected]

In a message dated 6/8/2003 9:26:23 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

It isn't going to hurt her to take one bite, and she may
> just love it.
>
> It could.
> But it would never hurt her to just say "no thanks" and not try it that day.
> Kids are naturally curious, even about new foods. Unless their nature is
> constantly tampered with.
>
> Ren


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I don't want them turning things down, just because they've never
encountered them before. I want them to not be afraid of different
tastes and textures.


THat's about what you want, not about the child.

Kids that are exposed to loads of new experiences, tastes, sights and sounds
are not going to be afraid to try something new...trust me.
If you wouldn't force your dh to try something he didn't want to, then why
the kids?

I am a vegetarian most of the time. What if someone thought I was limiting
myself and ought to be exposed to more meat dishes? It would go completely
against MY natural instinct to avoid meat to be forced to try it. Your children
have their own unique tastes and preferences, they will try new things when they
are ready.

Ren


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Just FYI, the one bite rule has never been a power struggle. Having
them taste something new that one bite's worth, hasn't ever lessened
the family joyful atmosphere at dinner.


I don't believe that Heidi.
I believe that you see it that way. But having been that way myself in former
times I KNOW it's about power. Because if it wasn't, you would never have to
encourage anyone to take a bite. You wouldn't have the power to make them do
it in a fair world.
Asking someone to try something is entirely different from MAKING them try a
bite.
It IS about power and it does lessen someone's joy, maybe not yours, but it
does lessen the joy of the person you are forcing to do the bite.

Ren


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heidi

--- In [email protected], starsuncloud@c... wrote:
> In a message dated 6/8/2003 9:26:23 PM Central Daylight Time,
> [email protected] writes:
>
> It isn't going to hurt her to take one bite, and she may
> > just love it.
> >
> > It could.
> > But it would never hurt her to just say "no thanks" and not try
it that day.
> > Kids are naturally curious, even about new foods. Unless their
nature is
> > constantly tampered with.
> >
> > Ren
>

Okay, I like this. I've seen their natural curiosity take them to
Medieval England, under the ocean to study sharks, into the kitchen
where they triple and quadruple recipes in their heads.

Will I trust their God-given ability to learn new things, to take
them into the "unknown" of new foods?

HeidiC

Heidi

--- In [email protected], starsuncloud@c... wrote:
> Just FYI, the one bite rule has never been a power struggle. Having
> them taste something new that one bite's worth, hasn't ever
lessened
> the family joyful atmosphere at dinner.
>
>
> I don't believe that Heidi.
> I believe that you see it that way. But having been that way myself
in former
> times I KNOW it's about power. Because if it wasn't, you would
never have to
> encourage anyone to take a bite. You wouldn't have the power to
make them do
> it in a fair world.
> Asking someone to try something is entirely different from MAKING
them try a
> bite.
> It IS about power and it does lessen someone's joy, maybe not
yours, but it
> does lessen the joy of the person you are forcing to do the bite.
>
> Ren

Forcing seems a strong word. But I'm going to observe myself next
time, and try to see if that is what I'm doing.

HeidiC

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/9/03 7:43:21 AM, bunsofaluminum60@... writes:

<< Will I trust their God-given ability to learn new things, to take

them into the "unknown" of new foods? >>

Maybe change your wish and trust that they be healthy and happy whether their
natural desires take them into a vast worl of unknown foods or it doesn't.

If their satisfaction and joy are higher priorities than the range of foods
they enjoy, you can relax altogether about it.

Sandra

Mary

From: "Heidi" <bunsofaluminum60@...>

<<Forcing seems a strong word. But I'm going to observe myself next
time, and try to see if that is what I'm doing. >>


From what you said at the beginning of all this, I would have thought
forcing too. From what you have said since, I would still stay coercing. Not
exactly the same but still not necessary. I may change my mind!!

Mary B

[email protected]

One person:
<< I don't want them turning things down, just because they've never
encountered them before. I want them to not be afraid of different
tastes and textures.

Another person:
<<THat's about what you want, not about the child. >>

I woke up this morning thinking that.

I was thinking about all the things, ideas, knowledge that have converged to
make this attachment parenting kind of unschooling life possible in 2003, and
I thought that one contributing factor has been the concept of co-dependency,
and our knowledge of the harm it can do when people are not clear what is them
and their needs and their emotion, and what is someone else.

If a parent is living codependently off a child, the child is living a subset
of the parent's life. There needs to be a difference.

Yes, children have emotional needs and physical needs and
psychological/biochemical/spiritual needs. But they need to need what THEY need, not what we
need to need them to need.

And anyone who has not the slightest clue what I'm talking about, that's
okay. <g>
Go to google.com and look up co-dependency, definition, and see if any of it
looks like you. If not, good. If so, not so good.

Or even better, throw your questions out here.
And if you get a chance, find a copy of


Whole Child/Whole Parent
"A Spiritual & Practical Guide to Parenthood"
ISBN 0-06-090949-8
Wholeness, Spirit, Happiness, Freedom, Unity, Beauty, Truth, Love

DARN. The review my site used to link to is gone.
Well, the book's out there somewhere. <g>

Sandra

Julie Bogart

--- In [email protected],
SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> One person:
> << I don't want them turning things down, just because they've
never
> encountered them before. I want them to not be afraid of
different
> tastes and textures.
>
> Another person:
> <<THat's about what you want, not about the child. >>
>
> I woke up this morning thinking that.
>
> I was thinking about all the things, ideas, knowledge that have
converged to
> make this attachment parenting kind of unschooling life
possible in 2003, and
> I thought that one contributing factor has been the concept of
co-dependency,
> and our knowledge of the harm it can do when people are not
clear what is them
> and their needs and their emotion, and what is someone else.


You know you're co-dependent when you're about to die and
someone else's life flashes before your eyes. :)

Julie B