Re: Long rambling post about Christina's stuff was, Praising Our Kids
Deborah Lewis
I think about Christina's posts that she just came here on a whim after
getting some vague information about unschooling. I think she came
hoping to display her wonderful parenting skills and style to a group she
figured wouldn't just be fundamentalist Christians. She wanted everyone
to know she was an open minded vegetarian atheist, but she didn't want to
be any more open minded than her personal comfort level.
There were some very telling things in her posts. They told of a person
who hadn't really thought about parenting beyond what we all hear on the
TV commercials. They told of someone who never even thought about
respecting kids.
She wrote about a fear of unschooling automatons, but it seems clear she
already thinks of children that way or she would have given more thought
to her comments about her own kid never eating anything but sweets if she
didn't intervene. And later comments about her kids never finding their
own interests if she didn't force them into certain activities.
She clearly equated unschooling with neglect, which happens all the time,
but she didn't stick around long enough to find out she was wrong.
That's why she left, too. She was afraid of finding out she might be
wrong, and wrong about more than unschooling being neglect.
BUT... she was also miffed. And while she twists these things around in
her mind maybe there'll be one little thing she heard here (from all the
good people who were dedicated enough to post) that won't leave her
alone.
I find it fascinating that it's often the people who take pride in being
open minded and different who have such a hard time letting go of the
traditional teachy-schooly-discipline parenting thing.
***And I get disappointed
when someone says they were going to answer a person and they say
nevermind because the person unsubbed. ***
HEY! I did that! It was mostly my pathetic attempt at humor which I can
see failed, miserably. Again.
But I will say this about her ideas regarding protecting kids from
hardship and frustration. They're silly.
A person can't live one year without dealing with hardship and
frustration, so how she got to adulthood believing we somehow need to
make sure our kids experience it, I can't understand. In spite of my
best efforts my son has had to face hardships and frustrations.
Christina wrote "How is a child to learn to tolerate frustration if mommy
and daddy never allow frustration in his/her life?"
Can we disallow frustration? <g> That would be great!
People will get plenty. And in spite of what many believe it isn't the
hardship or frustration that we learn so much from, it's the recovery
from those things. We can give our kids safe shelter, time to recover
and heal and grow stronger. The world is full of criminal and tragic
examples of people who've endured hardships and could never recover, who
had no safe shelter, no way to heal.
I hope lurking wannabe unschoolers here are smarter than to worry about
Christina's thoughtless remarks.
Deb L
"What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the
substitution
of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete
fictitious for the contemporary real"
~George Bernard Shaw~
getting some vague information about unschooling. I think she came
hoping to display her wonderful parenting skills and style to a group she
figured wouldn't just be fundamentalist Christians. She wanted everyone
to know she was an open minded vegetarian atheist, but she didn't want to
be any more open minded than her personal comfort level.
There were some very telling things in her posts. They told of a person
who hadn't really thought about parenting beyond what we all hear on the
TV commercials. They told of someone who never even thought about
respecting kids.
She wrote about a fear of unschooling automatons, but it seems clear she
already thinks of children that way or she would have given more thought
to her comments about her own kid never eating anything but sweets if she
didn't intervene. And later comments about her kids never finding their
own interests if she didn't force them into certain activities.
She clearly equated unschooling with neglect, which happens all the time,
but she didn't stick around long enough to find out she was wrong.
That's why she left, too. She was afraid of finding out she might be
wrong, and wrong about more than unschooling being neglect.
BUT... she was also miffed. And while she twists these things around in
her mind maybe there'll be one little thing she heard here (from all the
good people who were dedicated enough to post) that won't leave her
alone.
I find it fascinating that it's often the people who take pride in being
open minded and different who have such a hard time letting go of the
traditional teachy-schooly-discipline parenting thing.
***And I get disappointed
when someone says they were going to answer a person and they say
nevermind because the person unsubbed. ***
HEY! I did that! It was mostly my pathetic attempt at humor which I can
see failed, miserably. Again.
But I will say this about her ideas regarding protecting kids from
hardship and frustration. They're silly.
A person can't live one year without dealing with hardship and
frustration, so how she got to adulthood believing we somehow need to
make sure our kids experience it, I can't understand. In spite of my
best efforts my son has had to face hardships and frustrations.
Christina wrote "How is a child to learn to tolerate frustration if mommy
and daddy never allow frustration in his/her life?"
Can we disallow frustration? <g> That would be great!
People will get plenty. And in spite of what many believe it isn't the
hardship or frustration that we learn so much from, it's the recovery
from those things. We can give our kids safe shelter, time to recover
and heal and grow stronger. The world is full of criminal and tragic
examples of people who've endured hardships and could never recover, who
had no safe shelter, no way to heal.
I hope lurking wannabe unschoolers here are smarter than to worry about
Christina's thoughtless remarks.
Deb L
"What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the
substitution
of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete
fictitious for the contemporary real"
~George Bernard Shaw~
Tim and Maureen
I like your thots and observations on this! Thanks for sharing!
Tim T
Tim T
----- Original Message -----
From: Deborah Lewis
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 10:55 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Long rambling post about Christina's stuff was, Praising Our Kids
I think about Christina's posts that she just came here on a whim after
getting some vague information about unschooling. I think she came
hoping to display her wonderful parenting skills and style to a group she
figured wouldn't just be fundamentalist Christians. She wanted everyone
to know she was an open minded vegetarian atheist, but she didn't want to
be any more open minded than her personal comfort level.
There were some very telling things in her posts. They told of a person
who hadn't really thought about parenting beyond what we all hear on the
TV commercials. They told of someone who never even thought about
respecting kids.
She wrote about a fear of unschooling automatons, but it seems clear she
already thinks of children that way or she would have given more thought
to her comments about her own kid never eating anything but sweets if she
didn't intervene. And later comments about her kids never finding their
own interests if she didn't force them into certain activities.
She clearly equated unschooling with neglect, which happens all the time,
but she didn't stick around long enough to find out she was wrong.
That's why she left, too. She was afraid of finding out she might be
wrong, and wrong about more than unschooling being neglect.
BUT... she was also miffed. And while she twists these things around in
her mind maybe there'll be one little thing she heard here (from all the
good people who were dedicated enough to post) that won't leave her
alone.
I find it fascinating that it's often the people who take pride in being
open minded and different who have such a hard time letting go of the
traditional teachy-schooly-discipline parenting thing.
***And I get disappointed
when someone says they were going to answer a person and they say
nevermind because the person unsubbed. ***
HEY! I did that! It was mostly my pathetic attempt at humor which I can
see failed, miserably. Again.
But I will say this about her ideas regarding protecting kids from
hardship and frustration. They're silly.
A person can't live one year without dealing with hardship and
frustration, so how she got to adulthood believing we somehow need to
make sure our kids experience it, I can't understand. In spite of my
best efforts my son has had to face hardships and frustrations.
Christina wrote "How is a child to learn to tolerate frustration if mommy
and daddy never allow frustration in his/her life?"
Can we disallow frustration? <g> That would be great!
People will get plenty. And in spite of what many believe it isn't the
hardship or frustration that we learn so much from, it's the recovery
from those things. We can give our kids safe shelter, time to recover
and heal and grow stronger. The world is full of criminal and tragic
examples of people who've endured hardships and could never recover, who
had no safe shelter, no way to heal.
I hope lurking wannabe unschoolers here are smarter than to worry about
Christina's thoughtless remarks.
Deb L
"What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the
substitution
of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete
fictitious for the contemporary real"
~George Bernard Shaw~
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