Tia Leschke

I went down yesterday to see my mom. She didn't appear to recognize me and
kept her eyes closed. They did fly open briefly when I whistled our family
whistle. That was so familiar it called her back briefly.

They had decided to move her to a nursing home that day since we had agreed
on only comfort care. When she got to the nursing home, her eyes opened and
stayed open. She had such a look of fear and confusion. I hadn't planned
on staying overnight, but I just couldn't leave her like that. They brought
in a big recliner for me to sleep on, and I spent the night mostly holding
her hand. She settled down and closed her eyes by late evening and seemed
to sleep fairly peacefully. She was much the same in the morning. I would
have stayed if she still seemed scared, but since she didn't, I left and
came home. Of course she had to go and die while I was travelling home.
They told me she might do that. I guess it's common. I had just been
hoping she would die while I was there because I really wanted to hold her
in my arms for a few minutes. I couldn't do that while she was alive
because it would have caused too much pain.

But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. For
that I'm happy.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

Heidi

Oh, Tia

How sad, but what a wonderful thing that you got to hold her hand in
the night.

(Hug)
Heidi


--- In [email protected], Tia Leschke <leschke@s...>
wrote:
> I went down yesterday to see my mom. She didn't appear to
recognize me and
> kept her eyes closed. They did fly open briefly when I whistled
our family
> whistle. That was so familiar it called her back briefly.
>
> They had decided to move her to a nursing home that day since we
had agreed
> on only comfort care. When she got to the nursing home, her eyes
opened and
> stayed open. She had such a look of fear and confusion. I hadn't
planned
> on staying overnight, but I just couldn't leave her like that.
They brought
> in a big recliner for me to sleep on, and I spent the night mostly
holding
> her hand. She settled down and closed her eyes by late evening and
seemed
> to sleep fairly peacefully. She was much the same in the morning.
I would
> have stayed if she still seemed scared, but since she didn't, I
left and
> came home. Of course she had to go and die while I was travelling
home.
> They told me she might do that. I guess it's common. I had just
been
> hoping she would die while I was there because I really wanted to
hold her
> in my arms for a few minutes. I couldn't do that while she was
alive
> because it would have caused too much pain.
>
> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and
dementia. For
> that I'm happy.
> Tia
>
> "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little
temporary safety
> deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
> leschke@s...

Kelly Lenhart

>But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. For
>that I'm happy.
>Tia

I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope that you and your family can also find
some peace in the grieving process. It's a very hard thing.

Kelly

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/5/03 9:04:39 PM Pacific Daylight Time, leschke@...
writes:

> I spent the night mostly holding
> her hand. She settled down and closed her eyes by late evening and seemed
> to sleep fairly peacefully. She was much the same in the morning. I would
> have stayed if she still seemed scared, but since she didn't, I left and
> came home. Of course she had to go and die while I was travelling home.
> They told me she might do that. I guess it's common. I had just been
> hoping she would die while I was there because I really wanted to hold her
> in my arms for a few minutes. I couldn't do that while she was alive
> because it would have caused too much pain.
>
> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. For
> that I'm happy.
> Tia
>

Oh Tia,

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are no words to say at this moment in your
life, so I will leave you with this. She was lucky to have you as her daughter
and you were lucky to have her for a mother. And you were both lucky to have
a night of holding hands before she crossed over.

Hugs to you and yours,

Rhonda


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betsy

** But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia.
For that I'm happy.
Tia**


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tia}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Betsy

Mary

From: "Tia Leschke" <leschke@...>

<<But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. For
that I'm happy.>>


Tia I am so sorry for you loss. Just the thought of losing a parent brought
me to tears. I've lost my dad and wasn't able to be anywhere near him. You
were there for your mother and I would say in her way she knew that. You
stayed with her when she seemed to need you there and you also saw that she
became comfortable where she was. Maybe that gave her the comfort she needed
to let go. You were a loving daughter and I'm sure that was everything to
her. My sympathies to you and the family.

Mary B

Pamela Sorooshian

Tia ---

No matter what the circumstances, there isn't much more heart wrenching
than losing a mother and my heart goes out to you.

-pam

On Thursday, June 5, 2003, at 08:59 PM, Tia Leschke wrote:

> I went down yesterday to see my mom. She didn't appear to recognize
> me and
> kept her eyes closed. They did fly open briefly when I whistled our
> family
> whistle. That was so familiar it called her back briefly.
>
> They had decided to move her to a nursing home that day since we had
> agreed
> on only comfort care. When she got to the nursing home, her eyes
> opened and
> stayed open. She had such a look of fear and confusion. I hadn't
> planned
> on staying overnight, but I just couldn't leave her like that. They
> brought
> in a big recliner for me to sleep on, and I spent the night mostly
> holding
> her hand. She settled down and closed her eyes by late evening and
> seemed
> to sleep fairly peacefully. She was much the same in the morning. I
> would
> have stayed if she still seemed scared, but since she didn't, I left
> and
> came home. Of course she had to go and die while I was travelling
> home.
> They told me she might do that. I guess it's common. I had just been
> hoping she would die while I was there because I really wanted to hold
> her
> in my arms for a few minutes. I couldn't do that while she was alive
> because it would have caused too much pain.
>
> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia.
> For
> that I'm happy.
> Tia
>
> "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
> safety
> deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
> leschke@...
>
>
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>

jmcseals SEALS

Oh Tia,

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and I wish you
and your family peace.

Blessings,
Jennifer

On Thursday, June 5, 2003, at 08:59 PM, Tia Leschke wrote:

>I went down yesterday to see my mom. She didn't appear to recognize me
>and
>kept her eyes closed. They did fly open briefly when I whistled our
>family
>whistle. That was so familiar it called her back briefly.
>
>They had decided to move her to a nursing home that day since we had
>agreed
>on only comfort care. When she got to the nursing home, her eyes opened
>and
>stayed open. She had such a look of fear and confusion. I hadn't planned
>on staying overnight, but I just couldn't leave her like that. They
>brought
>in a big recliner for me to sleep on, and I spent the night mostly holding
>her hand. She settled down and closed her eyes by late evening and seemed
>to sleep fairly peacefully. She was much the same in the morning. I
>would
>have stayed if she still seemed scared, but since she didn't, I left and
>came home. Of course she had to go and die while I was travelling home.
>They told me she might do that. I guess it's common. I had just been
>hoping she would die while I was there because I really wanted to hold her
>in my arms for a few minutes. I couldn't do that while she was alive
>because it would have caused too much pain.
>
>But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. For
>that I'm happy.
>Tia
>

_________________________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

Tia,

Please accept the condolences of the Coburn family. My husband recently
lost his father, but sadly it was a situation without the peace and
gentleness of yours. Thank you for so bravely sharing your personal
journey. I'm sure her spirit knew you were with her, even when her mind
was beyond.

Blessings,

Robyn, James and Jayn Coburn







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

marji

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tia}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You're in my thoughts, Tia.

marji

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelli Traaseth

Sorry, Tia,,,(((((((Tia))))))))

Kelli

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Tia,

Sorry for your loss.
((((((TIA)))))))

Laura D


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

unolist

I am so sorry, Tia. Wishing you comfort and peace this A.M.

Ang

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/6/03 12:04:44 AM Eastern Daylight Time, leschke@...
writes:

> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia

So sorry for your loss Tia, You did such a wonderful thing by staying with
her through the night and I am sure she has some understanding of that on some
level.
Pam G.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Peace and blessings to you Tia
hugs,
diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
“I'm just a human being trying to make it in a world that is very rapidly
losing it's understanding of being human" John Trudell


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Barb Eaton

{{{{Tia}}}}
My heart felt condolences. My Dad did the same thing two years ago. I
felt so numb. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Barb E

>
> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. For
> that I'm happy.
> Tia

zenmomma2kids

>> Of course she had to go and die while I was travelling home. They
told me she might do that. I guess it's common. >>

My brother Marty waited until my Mom left the room.

>> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and
dementia. For that I'm happy. >>

I'm so sorry for your loss, Tia. I'm glad your mom has been released
from her pain.

Life is good.
~Mary

Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema

Tia,
I hope the best memories of your mother live with you for years and years
to come.
I wish you solace and peace and joy in her memory.
HeidiWD

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/8/03 2:09:36 AM Eastern Daylight Time, heidi@...
writes:

> Tia,
> I hope the best memories of your mother live with you for years and years
> to come.
>

This may be soon to talk about this for you Tia... but my Mom died when my
oldest was almost a year old and my youngest wasn't even thought of yet. When I
make something from a recipe of my mom's I will mention it. Like: "my Mom
used to make this for me." or "my Mom used to love to crochet...she made my
Christmas stocking." etc. Then they get to know her a little and they come back
and will ask "did your Mom ever do xyz?" and we get to talk about my
childhood a little.

Maybe it is a Mom thing because Jackson doesn't do that about his Mom. My
boys and I love to look through the old photo albums and see what I looked like
as a child and see my parents etc.
Pam G.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/6/2003 12:33:08 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. For
> that I'm happy.
> Tia

I'm sorry for your loss, Tia.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

>
> This may be soon to talk about this for you Tia... but my Mom died when my
> oldest was almost a year old and my youngest wasn't even thought of yet.
When I
> make something from a recipe of my mom's I will mention it. Like: "my
Mom
> used to make this for me." or "my Mom used to love to crochet...she made
my
> Christmas stocking." etc. Then they get to know her a little and they
come back
> and will ask "did your Mom ever do xyz?" and we get to talk about my
> childhood a little.
>
> Maybe it is a Mom thing because Jackson doesn't do that about his Mom. My
> boys and I love to look through the old photo albums and see what I looked
like
> as a child and see my parents etc.
> Pam G.

Thanks Pam, and everyone else who sent condolences. I was surprised how
much all those emails have helped.
We're planning to have a family gathering in a couple of weeks. (Mom didn't
want a service. This is for us.) We'll eat ice cream with chocolate syrup
(a nightly tradition at her place) and look at pictures and old family
movies and remember together. Skye (8) is the only one of my grandkids who
even met her great-grandma, and she was 2 then. I was surprised she
remembered her, but she does. So the pictures and rememories will help the
little ones and be carried on for more than just that one day.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

glad2bmadly

Tia Leschke <leschke@...> wrote:


We're planning to have a family gathering in a couple of weeks. (Mom didn't
want a service. This is for us.)... Tia

Tia, I am so sorry for your loss. The day you have planned sounds beautiful. When my mother died, we had a memorial service that allowed us all to remember her with her presence there. We sprayed her perfume in the chapel, placed pots of Gardenias, her favorite flowers, everywhere, and then later planted them in her yard. The immediate members of her family and a few of her closest friends read poems that she loved or that reminded us of her. At the end we sang "To Life" from Fiddler on the Roof and all toasted her with champagne. I remember my little step brothers (who were only six) climbing all over the largest, coolest sculptures (actually headstones) while we were outside having our toast to her. I was 26. This was years before I had my own children. It was my first huge hit of how children completely bring you into the moment, into life, the living. May you have a warm day of memories and of loving each other. I know there are no right words to say to you. You sharing your experience on her last day/night really moved me alot. I ended up dancing with my three year old to a new song by Train about a guardian angel. Take care of yourself.

-Madeline




"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

liza sabater

On Thursday, Jun 5, 2003, at 23:59 America/New_York, Tia Leschke wrote:
> But she's in a better place now and free from both pain and dementia. 
> For
> that I'm happy.


Tia,

I wish strength, peace and clarity to you and your family.

After seeing my father suffer through 2 years of dementia, it was truly
a relief.
The same thing happened to us --he waited for us to leave so he could
do it
his way (typical of my dad). Looking back, it's actually kind of
endearing that
he still had some will left in him.

Strength, peace and clarity.

Best,
Liza

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]