Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Punished By Rewards - Praising Our Kids
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One of my main sources of info on Praise is "Punished By Rewards" as I've no doubt said before. A fellow unschooler used it to transform a small bank branch into a behemoth of a sales organization by stopping all the Corporate "praise" devices (contests, commissions, etc.) within his branch. People (and kids are people too) can smell a phony concept a mile away. "Turd in punchbowl" obvious!
Same with praise after the kids figure it out. "Mom doles out small amounts so I expect that I can make her do it maore often." It creates an upward spiralling cycle of manipulation. Action, praise, action again, gold star, action again, candy, ... action again, sports car. And a hollow feeling inside because the rewardee has no idea WHAT THEY want! Reward breeds unhappiness!
Or if Mom won't praise, I'll withdraw and not play. I'm no rat in a cage!" Reward breeds sloth and apathy!
My (radical) thots
Tim Thomas
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Same with praise after the kids figure it out. "Mom doles out small amounts so I expect that I can make her do it maore often." It creates an upward spiralling cycle of manipulation. Action, praise, action again, gold star, action again, candy, ... action again, sports car. And a hollow feeling inside because the rewardee has no idea WHAT THEY want! Reward breeds unhappiness!
Or if Mom won't praise, I'll withdraw and not play. I'm no rat in a cage!" Reward breeds sloth and apathy!
My (radical) thots
Tim Thomas
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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In a message dated 04/06/2003 19:42:39 Pacific Daylight Time,
tmthomas@... writes:
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tmthomas@... writes:
> . "Turd in punchbowl" obvious!I am NEVER drinking punch at your house again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
tmthomas@... writes:
<<It creates an upward spiralling cycle of manipulation. Action, praise,
action again, gold star, action again, candy, ... action again, sports car. And
a hollow feeling inside because the rewardee has no idea WHAT THEY want!
Reward breeds unhappiness!
woo hoo.....now what??? lol
Btw, this manipulation can only happen if the child is taught to believe that
the parent's opinions and goals are more important than the child's. In
unschooling, this doesn't happen, obviously. ( Honestly, that's why I had no idea
what you guys were talking about!!! *giggle*)
<< I'm no rat in a cage!" >>
That's Alex's fav Smashing Pumpkins line...we *think* that's what Billy
Corgan's saying, anyway.
~Aimee
<<It creates an upward spiralling cycle of manipulation. Action, praise,
action again, gold star, action again, candy, ... action again, sports car. And
a hollow feeling inside because the rewardee has no idea WHAT THEY want!
Reward breeds unhappiness!
>>OH, I get it now....The reason why I hate grades, in a nutshell. I got an A,
woo hoo.....now what??? lol
Btw, this manipulation can only happen if the child is taught to believe that
the parent's opinions and goals are more important than the child's. In
unschooling, this doesn't happen, obviously. ( Honestly, that's why I had no idea
what you guys were talking about!!! *giggle*)
<< I'm no rat in a cage!" >>
That's Alex's fav Smashing Pumpkins line...we *think* that's what Billy
Corgan's saying, anyway.
~Aimee