parenting
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/14/00 2:34:34 AM, [email protected] writes:
<< you have to be equally
compassionate and understanding with yourself as you are with your kids
- don't hold either up to a standard of 'the right way to be' just
desire honesty and contentment. the more you accept the way things are
-without harsh judgment, and the more you have a clear idea of what you
want then just live your life, the more you are able to behave in a way
that feels natural and promotes happiness in everyone.
i find this to be true, too. and am glad you brought it up again. being
accepting of where we are is not only salve for the soul, it is also a good
example for the kids. i believe that the overall attempts with my kids are
very valuable and that individual screwups by me are not the most important
thing. and the kids are certainly going to be familiar with humaness and
persistance if i just keep trying. sometimes though, i feel apathetic and
overwhelmed when i havent had enough positive reactions (from myself toward
them!) but just today i had several of those wonderful moments that i cling
to with my little ones, and those will see me through more days of mistakes
and give me patience for the challenges i struggle with in parenting. making
the most of the positive things gives me fuel for the stretches where my
patience is thin and negativity abounds. now, when i see what i am writing,
it validates me that i am under a burden (for me) and i do need to credit
myself for hanging in. i feel like i am headed back into the trenches as i
will have a newborn, two yr old, 4yo (boys) and 8 & 10yo girls this summer.
and the pregnancy might be putting demands on me that make my resources have
less depth than i'd like. not complaining, just trying to affirm why i seem
to be grasping for some even parenting patience lately! (could it be the
challenging 21month old who loves to throw things and bop everyone? or
perhaps the four yo trying out his recent burst of testosterone that i have he
ard they get around this age? or maybe the feisty antagonizing daughters
whose love-hate relationship has its moments? haha...perhaps!!!! ty for the
vent :) )
erin
<< you have to be equally
compassionate and understanding with yourself as you are with your kids
- don't hold either up to a standard of 'the right way to be' just
desire honesty and contentment. the more you accept the way things are
-without harsh judgment, and the more you have a clear idea of what you
want then just live your life, the more you are able to behave in a way
that feels natural and promotes happiness in everyone.
>>susan,
i find this to be true, too. and am glad you brought it up again. being
accepting of where we are is not only salve for the soul, it is also a good
example for the kids. i believe that the overall attempts with my kids are
very valuable and that individual screwups by me are not the most important
thing. and the kids are certainly going to be familiar with humaness and
persistance if i just keep trying. sometimes though, i feel apathetic and
overwhelmed when i havent had enough positive reactions (from myself toward
them!) but just today i had several of those wonderful moments that i cling
to with my little ones, and those will see me through more days of mistakes
and give me patience for the challenges i struggle with in parenting. making
the most of the positive things gives me fuel for the stretches where my
patience is thin and negativity abounds. now, when i see what i am writing,
it validates me that i am under a burden (for me) and i do need to credit
myself for hanging in. i feel like i am headed back into the trenches as i
will have a newborn, two yr old, 4yo (boys) and 8 & 10yo girls this summer.
and the pregnancy might be putting demands on me that make my resources have
less depth than i'd like. not complaining, just trying to affirm why i seem
to be grasping for some even parenting patience lately! (could it be the
challenging 21month old who loves to throw things and bop everyone? or
perhaps the four yo trying out his recent burst of testosterone that i have he
ard they get around this age? or maybe the feisty antagonizing daughters
whose love-hate relationship has its moments? haha...perhaps!!!! ty for the
vent :) )
erin
jsf491
I wonder if Zach would do better if he 'got ready to go' as part of
his morning routine that day....even if actually going wasn't until
later. I mean, if he's able to maintain his clothes ok, he could
put them on when he dresses. If not, he sets out the clothes,
socks, shoes, whatever, so that changing will be very quick.
And maybe he could gather any other needed supplies and get them in
the van *way early*...so that he mostly just needs to walk out at the
appropriate time.
Of course, this is more a suggestion of something to discuss
with Zach to see if he wants to try it this way with your reminders,
etc.
My oldest agreed to do this for things and it's helped us quite a
bit. If we need to go somewhere in the early morning, she sets up
her 'stuff' the night before.
Susan
his morning routine that day....even if actually going wasn't until
later. I mean, if he's able to maintain his clothes ok, he could
put them on when he dresses. If not, he sets out the clothes,
socks, shoes, whatever, so that changing will be very quick.
And maybe he could gather any other needed supplies and get them in
the van *way early*...so that he mostly just needs to walk out at the
appropriate time.
Of course, this is more a suggestion of something to discuss
with Zach to see if he wants to try it this way with your reminders,
etc.
My oldest agreed to do this for things and it's helped us quite a
bit. If we need to go somewhere in the early morning, she sets up
her 'stuff' the night before.
Susan