Everyone else's kids are gifted
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Perhaps it's the circles I travel in. But it's beginning to look like
everyone else in the world, at least the homeschoolers and many of the
schoolers, has gifted kids. I know because their moms tell me. Many of them
assume my kid is too, apparently, so they're not telling me to show off. Even
the Unschooling moms mention their children's giftedness.
Is my kid gifted? I dunno. He did really well on the one standardized test he
took while he was in school (enough that I pictured years of being told that
he "wasn't working to his potential." I think he's a very talented musician,
and sometimes when he sings he's so good I can barely breathe. I'm not really
sure why it matters one way or another, and I would think that constantly
being told how "gifted" you are would get annoying at the least, and an
overwhelming burden that could ultimately crush you at the most.
Besides, doesn't "giftedness" imply that's your abilities and talents only
yours because someone or something (God? DNA? The Gifted Fairy?) deemed you
worthy and decided to give it to you? I suppose if you look at it from a
spiritual perspective, it's kind of nice, especially if you take the
"everyone wins" attitude and assume that Everyone is Gifted, and needs to
find their own gifts. If that's true, then shouldn't you be proud instead
that little Mimi or Gordon discovered and are nurturing their gifts?
Anyway, I'm just rambling, but I've just been so startled by this
lately...it's EVERYWHERE!
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
everyone else in the world, at least the homeschoolers and many of the
schoolers, has gifted kids. I know because their moms tell me. Many of them
assume my kid is too, apparently, so they're not telling me to show off. Even
the Unschooling moms mention their children's giftedness.
Is my kid gifted? I dunno. He did really well on the one standardized test he
took while he was in school (enough that I pictured years of being told that
he "wasn't working to his potential." I think he's a very talented musician,
and sometimes when he sings he's so good I can barely breathe. I'm not really
sure why it matters one way or another, and I would think that constantly
being told how "gifted" you are would get annoying at the least, and an
overwhelming burden that could ultimately crush you at the most.
Besides, doesn't "giftedness" imply that's your abilities and talents only
yours because someone or something (God? DNA? The Gifted Fairy?) deemed you
worthy and decided to give it to you? I suppose if you look at it from a
spiritual perspective, it's kind of nice, especially if you take the
"everyone wins" attitude and assume that Everyone is Gifted, and needs to
find their own gifts. If that's true, then shouldn't you be proud instead
that little Mimi or Gordon discovered and are nurturing their gifts?
Anyway, I'm just rambling, but I've just been so startled by this
lately...it's EVERYWHERE!
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lenhart
Gifted in school just means you aren't running with the pack, you are ahead.
For me as a kid it meant I got to do more challenging work and not be bored,
bored, bored. But it did mean being singled out. They offered to skip me
fifth grade and send me straight to the middle school, but I opted not to
and did gifted work in fifth instead.
Without the structure of grades, etc, gifted (to me anyway) means that
someone has an area or ability they are particularly good at. Like my 7
year old is way good at math and spacial stuff. We did "second grade" math
in a day. Literally. I sat down next to him with the book and he worked
every single problem in his head. I think he missed like 5 in a whole grade
level? He's great with remembering where things are and how to reach things
in his video games. His dad's the same way.
I'm good with words--read like a fiend. I'm not allowed to buy 25 dollar
hardbacks because I read them in 4 hours. TOPS.
Hubby and I have joked that if he got both of our gift sets, the kid would
be a genius. -grin- (I scored 750 verbal, 500 math on the SAT, Joe the
opposite. So if he got the two highs....-evil grin-)
But to my mind, those are GIFTS. You can develop those gifts to their
highest potentional or you can just enjoy them for what they are. I am
going to offer to James to do third grade math the same way we did
second--sitting together over the book. I thnk he'll love it--the closeness
and the problems. He's proud of being good at it.
But frankly, he's just as proud of his long (mid back length) dark brown
hair. It's gorgeous. He put up with all the "but that's a girl" comments
because he likes it so much.
Some other kid's gift may be the ability to look at a situation and see
clearly and quickly how all the people involved are emotionall effected.
That level of empathy is a gift, too, in my mind and equally important.
Kelly
For me as a kid it meant I got to do more challenging work and not be bored,
bored, bored. But it did mean being singled out. They offered to skip me
fifth grade and send me straight to the middle school, but I opted not to
and did gifted work in fifth instead.
Without the structure of grades, etc, gifted (to me anyway) means that
someone has an area or ability they are particularly good at. Like my 7
year old is way good at math and spacial stuff. We did "second grade" math
in a day. Literally. I sat down next to him with the book and he worked
every single problem in his head. I think he missed like 5 in a whole grade
level? He's great with remembering where things are and how to reach things
in his video games. His dad's the same way.
I'm good with words--read like a fiend. I'm not allowed to buy 25 dollar
hardbacks because I read them in 4 hours. TOPS.
Hubby and I have joked that if he got both of our gift sets, the kid would
be a genius. -grin- (I scored 750 verbal, 500 math on the SAT, Joe the
opposite. So if he got the two highs....-evil grin-)
But to my mind, those are GIFTS. You can develop those gifts to their
highest potentional or you can just enjoy them for what they are. I am
going to offer to James to do third grade math the same way we did
second--sitting together over the book. I thnk he'll love it--the closeness
and the problems. He's proud of being good at it.
But frankly, he's just as proud of his long (mid back length) dark brown
hair. It's gorgeous. He put up with all the "but that's a girl" comments
because he likes it so much.
Some other kid's gift may be the ability to look at a situation and see
clearly and quickly how all the people involved are emotionall effected.
That level of empathy is a gift, too, in my mind and equally important.
Kelly
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/2003 9:04:02 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
KathrynJB@... writes:> Anyway, I'm just rambling, but I've just been so startled by this
two! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
KathrynJB@... writes:> Anyway, I'm just rambling, but I've just been so startled by this
>Report cards and end of year awards just came out, Kathryn. Give it a week or
> lately...it's EVERYWHERE!
two! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have A Nice Day!
I believe that we are ALL gifted in one way or another and its just a matter of discovering our gifts. Why would G-d create us any other way? (Sorry to interject my religious beliefs there, but for me they are related subjects).
Schools have created this artificial pecking order by separating people out, not just to be placed in the 'slow' group, but also in the 'gifted' group.
I hear it from homeschoolers all the time too and it irritates me, not because I think they are bragging necessarily, but because they took their kids out of school to "avoid labels". Then, as soon as its "giftedness" they snatch that label right up and give it to their kids. I guess they still need that "recognition" that school type stuff gives them but it just seems hypocritical to me.
It also irritates me because it causes unnecessary and unhealthy competition between kids, both friends and siblings. And it can cause competition between parents as well.
Kristen
Schools have created this artificial pecking order by separating people out, not just to be placed in the 'slow' group, but also in the 'gifted' group.
I hear it from homeschoolers all the time too and it irritates me, not because I think they are bragging necessarily, but because they took their kids out of school to "avoid labels". Then, as soon as its "giftedness" they snatch that label right up and give it to their kids. I guess they still need that "recognition" that school type stuff gives them but it just seems hypocritical to me.
It also irritates me because it causes unnecessary and unhealthy competition between kids, both friends and siblings. And it can cause competition between parents as well.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Kelly Lenhart
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 9:05 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Everyone else's kids are gifted
Gifted in school just means you aren't running with the pack, you are ahead.
For me as a kid it meant I got to do more challenging work and not be bored,
bored, bored. But it did mean being singled out. They offered to skip me
fifth grade and send me straight to the middle school, but I opted not to
and did gifted work in fifth instead.
Without the structure of grades, etc, gifted (to me anyway) means that
someone has an area or ability they are particularly good at. Like my 7
year old is way good at math and spacial stuff. We did "second grade" math
in a day. Literally. I sat down next to him with the book and he worked
every single problem in his head. I think he missed like 5 in a whole grade
level? He's great with remembering where things are and how to reach things
in his video games. His dad's the same way.
I'm good with words--read like a fiend. I'm not allowed to buy 25 dollar
hardbacks because I read them in 4 hours. TOPS.
Hubby and I have joked that if he got both of our gift sets, the kid would
be a genius. -grin- (I scored 750 verbal, 500 math on the SAT, Joe the
opposite. So if he got the two highs....-evil grin-)
But to my mind, those are GIFTS. You can develop those gifts to their
highest potentional or you can just enjoy them for what they are. I am
going to offer to James to do third grade math the same way we did
second--sitting together over the book. I thnk he'll love it--the closeness
and the problems. He's proud of being good at it.
But frankly, he's just as proud of his long (mid back length) dark brown
hair. It's gorgeous. He put up with all the "but that's a girl" comments
because he likes it so much.
Some other kid's gift may be the ability to look at a situation and see
clearly and quickly how all the people involved are emotionall effected.
That level of empathy is a gift, too, in my mind and equally important.
Kelly
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[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 10:01:53 AM, litlrooh@... writes:
<< Then, as soon as its "giftedness" they snatch that label right up and give
it to their kids. I guess they still need that "recognition" that school
type stuff gives them but it just seems hypocritical to me. >>
I hate it.
You're right. It's harmful to the kids too.
AND I think labelling someone "gifted at math" commits them to a lifetime of
mathematical excellence and showmanship. Maybe they discover some patterns
and are quick and remember numbers (I'm thinking of Holly) but will tire it and
not give a rat's patoot, or puberty will come and distract them or uncover a
whole NEW gift they didn't have as a littler kid.
I hate to stick the pin in them too early. They might change and evolve
their whole lives!!
My best memories of meeting strangers and chatting are when their stories are
like "Well I grew up in the circus, but I was really interested in the
trucks, so I became a driver instead of a trapeze artist, but when I was driving
through Wyoming I fell in love with the landscape so I worked on a ranch, and
started collecting brands and barbed wire, and now I'm a
sculptor/welder/blacksmith." Stuff like that. Conversations with someone who's about to retire after
teaching for 35 years, or about to retire after being an engineer for 25
years... boring. Stability isn't my goal or desire.
AND FURTHERMORE! When a mom comes and says with snoot "Well, unschooling is
fine for YOUR kids, but mine are *gifted* and so they require more focussed
attention since *they* will never settle for normal," the choice of those who
read is to say "Yeah, my kids are duds," or "Actually mine are running mental
circles around yours and they don't even know it," or "What? If you had been
in gifted programs you'd know better," or whatever.
Giftedness proponents will only listen to others who are "gifted." If you
say "Well speaking as a normal person..." they will say either you're jealous or
you just don't understand. If you give them any Mensa-type SAT/IQ crap, THEN
they might listen, but by doing that, you would fall into their pit of
nonsense.
Sandra
<< Then, as soon as its "giftedness" they snatch that label right up and give
it to their kids. I guess they still need that "recognition" that school
type stuff gives them but it just seems hypocritical to me. >>
I hate it.
You're right. It's harmful to the kids too.
AND I think labelling someone "gifted at math" commits them to a lifetime of
mathematical excellence and showmanship. Maybe they discover some patterns
and are quick and remember numbers (I'm thinking of Holly) but will tire it and
not give a rat's patoot, or puberty will come and distract them or uncover a
whole NEW gift they didn't have as a littler kid.
I hate to stick the pin in them too early. They might change and evolve
their whole lives!!
My best memories of meeting strangers and chatting are when their stories are
like "Well I grew up in the circus, but I was really interested in the
trucks, so I became a driver instead of a trapeze artist, but when I was driving
through Wyoming I fell in love with the landscape so I worked on a ranch, and
started collecting brands and barbed wire, and now I'm a
sculptor/welder/blacksmith." Stuff like that. Conversations with someone who's about to retire after
teaching for 35 years, or about to retire after being an engineer for 25
years... boring. Stability isn't my goal or desire.
AND FURTHERMORE! When a mom comes and says with snoot "Well, unschooling is
fine for YOUR kids, but mine are *gifted* and so they require more focussed
attention since *they* will never settle for normal," the choice of those who
read is to say "Yeah, my kids are duds," or "Actually mine are running mental
circles around yours and they don't even know it," or "What? If you had been
in gifted programs you'd know better," or whatever.
Giftedness proponents will only listen to others who are "gifted." If you
say "Well speaking as a normal person..." they will say either you're jealous or
you just don't understand. If you give them any Mensa-type SAT/IQ crap, THEN
they might listen, but by doing that, you would fall into their pit of
nonsense.
Sandra
Tim and Maureen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 9:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Everyone else's kids are gifted
<<<or puberty will come and distract them or uncover a
whole NEW gift they didn't have as a littler kid.
I hate to stick the pin in them too early. They might change and evolve
their whole lives!!>>>
This really spoke to me. My dd loves writing and art and has always impressed people with her ability. She is coming up 15 and suddenly her writing passion is faltering some. Could be permanent, could be temporary.
She was really upset by this and I realised that based on all our judgements of her " precociousness" in tthese areas she had placed herself as having to be a writer/artist and was worried that she would be failing somehow if this changes.
We were able to discuss living in the moment and accepting herself as she is right now, trusting that her body will help her know where she needs to be.
Maureen
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