Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Itsbeenaminute- Glena
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In a message dated 5/18/03 6:05:50 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
rubyprincesstsg@... writes:
I think the concern was that when you daughter asked you the next day (
tomorrow) if it was tomorrow yet, you told her, "no, its today". That is
not fair to her. In essence, you were saying "tomorrow never comes". I
don't even know how old your daughter was when she asked about smoking, I
didnt read the entire thread from the beginning. And, in all liklihood, she
did just forget about smoking.
What about when she got old enough to recall those events and she thought
"HEY, you tricked me!" Maybe you'de get lucky and she wouldn't care..
maybe she would even think it was funny.. But, maybe she would think.. Gee,
how much other stuff did she try to put over on me??... It seems you took
advantage of her innocence and niatevte by not just admiting, the next day
when she asked about smoking again, that yes, it is "tomorrow".
Glena, I know how things get picked over and scrutinized. I know how it
feels to hear things that make you feel like folks are saying you are a bad
mother. The way you dealt with the smoking question was ( IMO) not the
absolute best way to handle it..But, that incident does NOT make you a bad
mother. It means that you handled a situation in a way that seemed right to
you, and it seemed to work. But, others have said that to them, it didnt
seem like the BEST way to handle it. Maybe it would help just to stop and
think about WHY folks feel you could have handled it differently. Instead of
being insulted, use the questioning and "critisicm" as a means to examine
better ways of dealing with similar situations.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
rubyprincesstsg@... writes:
> Maybe tomorrow didn't mean NEVER any more than in a minute to some parentsGlena,
> means in a minute.
>
I think the concern was that when you daughter asked you the next day (
tomorrow) if it was tomorrow yet, you told her, "no, its today". That is
not fair to her. In essence, you were saying "tomorrow never comes". I
don't even know how old your daughter was when she asked about smoking, I
didnt read the entire thread from the beginning. And, in all liklihood, she
did just forget about smoking.
What about when she got old enough to recall those events and she thought
"HEY, you tricked me!" Maybe you'de get lucky and she wouldn't care..
maybe she would even think it was funny.. But, maybe she would think.. Gee,
how much other stuff did she try to put over on me??... It seems you took
advantage of her innocence and niatevte by not just admiting, the next day
when she asked about smoking again, that yes, it is "tomorrow".
Glena, I know how things get picked over and scrutinized. I know how it
feels to hear things that make you feel like folks are saying you are a bad
mother. The way you dealt with the smoking question was ( IMO) not the
absolute best way to handle it..But, that incident does NOT make you a bad
mother. It means that you handled a situation in a way that seemed right to
you, and it seemed to work. But, others have said that to them, it didnt
seem like the BEST way to handle it. Maybe it would help just to stop and
think about WHY folks feel you could have handled it differently. Instead of
being insulted, use the questioning and "critisicm" as a means to examine
better ways of dealing with similar situations.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zenmomma2kids
>>Maybe it would help just to stop and think about WHY folks feel youcould have handled it differently. Instead of being insulted, use
the questioning and "critisicm" as a means to examine better ways of
dealing with similar situations. >>
Great insight, Teresa. Thanks. I hope we can now let this float on
by. I think it's been discussed to death.
Life is good.
~Mary