[email protected]

In a message dated 5/17/2003 10:44:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
fetteroll@... writes:

> There's a big difference between saying "Maybe tomorrow" when someone really
> means never and saying

Maybe THIS says it all, I NEVER said maybe tomorrow means NEVER, someone
ELSE'S words. Over and over I've said if she had wanted to do this, she
would have. I NEVER EVER MEANT NEVER.

This is the EXACT thing I've been trying to argue about, SOMEONE DECIDES that
I MEANT NEVER, they post it and it gets picked up as a FACT.

I'm judged as a "friggin idiot" because I said "maybe tomorrow" but meant
NEVER, that was NOT the case.

I meant, maybe tomorrow if she's still interested, she will ask again and I
will again talk to her about the things I think are bad and if she says she
doesn't care she wants to smoke anyway, then I will decide whether to give
her a cigarette and let her try it or say something different.

Maybe tomorrow didn't mean NEVER any more than in a minute to some parents
means in a minute.

Others saw that they were using the term, in a second or in a minute and were
nudged internally to change something from it, so I guess in some way this
thread has been helpful, not only to me but to others as well.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

averyschmidt

> Maybe THIS says it all, I NEVER said maybe tomorrow means NEVER,
someone
> ELSE'S words. Over and over I've said if she had wanted to do
this, she
> would have. I NEVER EVER MEANT NEVER.
> This is the EXACT thing I've been trying to argue about, SOMEONE
DECIDES that
> I MEANT NEVER, they post it and it gets picked up as a FACT.
> I'm judged as a "friggin idiot" because I said "maybe tomorrow"
but meant
> NEVER, that was NOT the case.

Here's the original quote:
"When she asked me if she could smoke, I told her "not today, maybe
tomorrow",
when she would ask the next day "is it tomorrow yet? can I smoke
now?" I
would just tell her it's today, we'll talk about your smoking
tomorrow. She
soon grew tired of that conversation and took to "smoking" crayons."

You didn't say "mabye tomorrow" and mean it genuinely. You
said "mabye tomorrow" and then fooled with your daugther's mind the
next day by saying "it's today, we'll talk about your smoking
tomorrow." If your definition of "tomorrow" is that it never
actually comes, then yes, you did mean NEVER. You were just hiding
the "never" from your daughter by taking advantage of her not-yet-
firm grasp of time.
And I don't think that the "friggin' idiot" comment had anything to
do with your "mabye tomorrow," I think it had to do with your
implication that unschoolers were sitting fat and sassy and not
helping anyone or something like that.

Patti

Olga

GLena,

You are still arguing over the same sentence. What I think is being
put across as I have understood the posts thus far is that this is
not the best way to handle that type of situation, and others trying
to follow a truely unschooling philosophy should not percieve that as
the a good approach and model it. I beleive that is why certain
people are continuing to argue over that point. It does not really
matter if it was MEANT one way over another. Readers do not want
someone to percieve it as a logical solution and use that tactic with
their children. Personally, I would never tell my child "maybe
tomorrow" at that age for smoking because I would simply not allow
it. Would you have let your daughter at THAT age smoke a cigarette?
If not, then your answer was not fair. If so, then we have a whole
other set of issues <g>!

The more you argue over that sentence, the more this issue cannot be
laid to rest and the SAME emails will continue. If you are insistent
that you are correct on this then just agree in your heart to
disagree and move foward.

Olga :)
I am slapping myself for continuing this whole thread. Sorry!


--- In [email protected], rubyprincesstsg@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 5/17/2003 10:44:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> fetteroll@e... writes:
>
> > There's a big difference between saying "Maybe tomorrow" when
someone really
> > means never and saying
>
> Maybe THIS says it all, I NEVER said maybe tomorrow means NEVER,
someone
> ELSE'S words. Over and over I've said if she had wanted to do
this, she
> would have. I NEVER EVER MEANT NEVER.
>
> This is the EXACT thing I've been trying to argue about, SOMEONE
DECIDES that
> I MEANT NEVER, they post it and it gets picked up as a FACT.
>
> I'm judged as a "friggin idiot" because I said "maybe tomorrow" but
meant
> NEVER, that was NOT the case.
>
> I meant, maybe tomorrow if she's still interested, she will ask
again and I
> will again talk to her about the things I think are bad and if she
says she
> doesn't care she wants to smoke anyway, then I will decide whether
to give
> her a cigarette and let her try it or say something different.
>
> Maybe tomorrow didn't mean NEVER any more than in a minute to some
parents
> means in a minute.
>
> Others saw that they were using the term, in a second or in a
minute and were
> nudged internally to change something from it, so I guess in some
way this
> thread has been helpful, not only to me but to others as well.
>
> glena
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

moonstarshooter

DANG!!!! I should have put my cash on the table when the bet was
called!

I knew it was too good to be true.

Oh well.

Tory


--- In [email protected], rubyprincesstsg@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 5/17/2003 10:44:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> fetteroll@e... writes:
>
> > There's a big difference between saying "Maybe tomorrow" when
someone really
> > means never and saying
>
> Maybe THIS says it all, I NEVER said maybe tomorrow means NEVER,
someone
> ELSE'S words. Over and over I've said if she had wanted to do
this, she
> would have. I NEVER EVER MEANT NEVER.
>
> This is the EXACT thing I've been trying to argue about, SOMEONE
DECIDES that
> I MEANT NEVER, they post it and it gets picked up as a FACT.
>
> I'm judged as a "friggin idiot" because I said "maybe tomorrow" but
meant
> NEVER, that was NOT the case.
>
> I meant, maybe tomorrow if she's still interested, she will ask
again and I
> will again talk to her about the things I think are bad and if she
says she
> doesn't care she wants to smoke anyway, then I will decide whether
to give
> her a cigarette and let her try it or say something different.
>
> Maybe tomorrow didn't mean NEVER any more than in a minute to some
parents
> means in a minute.
>
> Others saw that they were using the term, in a second or in a
minute and were
> nudged internally to change something from it, so I guess in some
way this
> thread has been helpful, not only to me but to others as well.
>
> glena
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]