Re: Interrupted Conversation
Geraldine Weis-Corbley
Hi Susan,
I am new here too. And it is interesting to me that I had a similar
notion to what Kimberly's advice was.
I immediately thought, Give him a micro cassette recorder! Do the
reporter game as K. suggested, this way but he won't have to write
and keep up with what is said. He is assured of catching it all on
tape. He can ask *all* the questions he wants later. Of course,
you'll have to ask people is they mind being recorded.
ALSO*** Why was the last half of my digest (#3490) written entirely
in the Greek (or similar) alphabet!!?!
Strange.
Best regards,
Geri
I am new here too. And it is interesting to me that I had a similar
notion to what Kimberly's advice was.
I immediately thought, Give him a micro cassette recorder! Do the
reporter game as K. suggested, this way but he won't have to write
and keep up with what is said. He is assured of catching it all on
tape. He can ask *all* the questions he wants later. Of course,
you'll have to ask people is they mind being recorded.
ALSO*** Why was the last half of my digest (#3490) written entirely
in the Greek (or similar) alphabet!!?!
Strange.
Best regards,
Geri
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/15/03 7:31:20 AM, corbley@... writes:
<< I immediately thought, Give him a micro cassette recorder! Do the
reporter game as K. suggested, this way but he won't have to write
and keep up with what is said. He is assured of catching it all on
tape. He can ask *all* the questions he wants later. Of course,
you'll have to ask people is they mind being recorded. >>
How can people who believe kids should be able to have some privacy not also
think adults should?
If I'm having a conversation with someone else (adult or not) and my child
NEEDS me, I will put that conversation on hold and deal with that child.
If I'm having a conversation with someone else and my child isn't a part of
that conversation, I will find him or her something else to do. Or maybe she
can listen quietly, but getting into the conversation is no more okay than if
one of my kids tried to have a conversation with someone else (child or not)
and I kept butting in with distracting questions or comments.
If a mom is unwilling to have conversations without her child being an active
and equal participant, she might not have many people to talk to before long.
And I would NOT be interested in having my discussions tape recorded for
later replay just because a mom was unwilling to have a private conversation
with me. If I liked the kid, I'd help him be part of the conversation. If I
didn't want him to be part of the conversation and the mom was clueless,
there probably wouldn't BE a conversation, or not at the calm and thoughtful
level she might have preferred.
I give my kids space, and because of that DIRECTLY, it seems, they're quite
willing to do the same for me and for each other, and others.
Sandra
<< I immediately thought, Give him a micro cassette recorder! Do the
reporter game as K. suggested, this way but he won't have to write
and keep up with what is said. He is assured of catching it all on
tape. He can ask *all* the questions he wants later. Of course,
you'll have to ask people is they mind being recorded. >>
How can people who believe kids should be able to have some privacy not also
think adults should?
If I'm having a conversation with someone else (adult or not) and my child
NEEDS me, I will put that conversation on hold and deal with that child.
If I'm having a conversation with someone else and my child isn't a part of
that conversation, I will find him or her something else to do. Or maybe she
can listen quietly, but getting into the conversation is no more okay than if
one of my kids tried to have a conversation with someone else (child or not)
and I kept butting in with distracting questions or comments.
If a mom is unwilling to have conversations without her child being an active
and equal participant, she might not have many people to talk to before long.
And I would NOT be interested in having my discussions tape recorded for
later replay just because a mom was unwilling to have a private conversation
with me. If I liked the kid, I'd help him be part of the conversation. If I
didn't want him to be part of the conversation and the mom was clueless,
there probably wouldn't BE a conversation, or not at the calm and thoughtful
level she might have preferred.
I give my kids space, and because of that DIRECTLY, it seems, they're quite
willing to do the same for me and for each other, and others.
Sandra
coyote's corner
As we're speaking of conversation and interrupting;
Our problem is different.....but a major annoyance
The problem we have here - our neighbor upstairs has Aspergers - he's a text book case!
He interrupts constantly - really.
This morning, my aged aunt was outside talking w/ me;
Our upstairs neighbor was leaving for work.
My A.A. (Aged Aunt) was speaking; he walked up and said to Brianna - who had her arm around my AA - "where are you going to powwow this weekend?"
Brianna started to speak.
My AA immediately stopped speaking.
That happens so often.
He's been at our powwow tent - and walked up to me while a customer was speaking - as soon as there's any pause - like someone asked a question and someone else hasn't actually started to speak - he talks.
Brianna doesn't know what to do.
Should she answer him?
If we ignore him. he repeats and repeats and gets louder.
This man is very high functioning and he's 43.
There are others who do that - 'cross conversing" or "cross interrupting" ...gads ....I hate it!
It is rude and annoying,
any suggestions?
Janis
Our problem is different.....but a major annoyance
The problem we have here - our neighbor upstairs has Aspergers - he's a text book case!
He interrupts constantly - really.
This morning, my aged aunt was outside talking w/ me;
Our upstairs neighbor was leaving for work.
My A.A. (Aged Aunt) was speaking; he walked up and said to Brianna - who had her arm around my AA - "where are you going to powwow this weekend?"
Brianna started to speak.
My AA immediately stopped speaking.
That happens so often.
He's been at our powwow tent - and walked up to me while a customer was speaking - as soon as there's any pause - like someone asked a question and someone else hasn't actually started to speak - he talks.
Brianna doesn't know what to do.
Should she answer him?
If we ignore him. he repeats and repeats and gets louder.
This man is very high functioning and he's 43.
There are others who do that - 'cross conversing" or "cross interrupting" ...gads ....I hate it!
It is rude and annoying,
any suggestions?
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2003 10:34 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Interrupted Conversation
In a message dated 5/15/03 7:31:20 AM, corbley@... writes:
<< I immediately thought, Give him a micro cassette recorder! Do the
reporter game as K. suggested, this way but he won't have to write
and keep up with what is said. He is assured of catching it all on
tape. He can ask *all* the questions he wants later. Of course,
you'll have to ask people is they mind being recorded. >>
How can people who believe kids should be able to have some privacy not also
think adults should?
If I'm having a conversation with someone else (adult or not) and my child
NEEDS me, I will put that conversation on hold and deal with that child.
If I'm having a conversation with someone else and my child isn't a part of
that conversation, I will find him or her something else to do. Or maybe she
can listen quietly, but getting into the conversation is no more okay than if
one of my kids tried to have a conversation with someone else (child or not)
and I kept butting in with distracting questions or comments.
If a mom is unwilling to have conversations without her child being an active
and equal participant, she might not have many people to talk to before long.
And I would NOT be interested in having my discussions tape recorded for
later replay just because a mom was unwilling to have a private conversation
with me. If I liked the kid, I'd help him be part of the conversation. If I
didn't want him to be part of the conversation and the mom was clueless,
there probably wouldn't BE a conversation, or not at the calm and thoughtful
level she might have preferred.
I give my kids space, and because of that DIRECTLY, it seems, they're quite
willing to do the same for me and for each other, and others.
Sandra
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jon and Rue Kream
I find that adults interrupt pretty often when my 6yo is talking. What I do
is to maintain eye contact with her, and hold up my finger in a 'one minute'
gesture to the interrupter, ignoring anything they say until my daughter is
done talking. When she's done I immediately turn to the person and ask what
they'd like to say. I don't know if that would work in your situation, but
maybe after a few times he'd get it? ~Rue
"Brianna doesn't know what to do.
Should she answer him?
If we ignore him. he repeats and repeats and gets louder."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
is to maintain eye contact with her, and hold up my finger in a 'one minute'
gesture to the interrupter, ignoring anything they say until my daughter is
done talking. When she's done I immediately turn to the person and ask what
they'd like to say. I don't know if that would work in your situation, but
maybe after a few times he'd get it? ~Rue
"Brianna doesn't know what to do.
Should she answer him?
If we ignore him. he repeats and repeats and gets louder."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tim and Maureen
I have to say I agree with this.I put it this way. I ask my children if they had there friend over and I sat there the entire time asking them to repeat what they said would they want that or would they find it uncomfortable. They of course would find it intrusive. I can see how kids want to hear adult conversation and there are times i am willing for them to be involved but to continually ask what is meant or said I don't agree as being respectful and I think we as parents also have a right to the same respect we would afford our kids. I have handled this by saying they can listen if this works for us but that I will explain later not during the conversation and there are some conversations that I don't want to share or explain.
Maureen
Maureen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2003 7:34 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Interrupted Conversation
In a message dated 5/15/03 7:31:20 AM, corbley@... writes:
<< I immediately thought, Give him a micro cassette recorder! Do the
reporter game as K. suggested, this way but he won't have to write
and keep up with what is said. He is assured of catching it all on
tape. He can ask *all* the questions he wants later. Of course,
you'll have to ask people is they mind being recorded. >>
How can people who believe kids should be able to have some privacy not also
think adults should?
If I'm having a conversation with someone else (adult or not) and my child
NEEDS me, I will put that conversation on hold and deal with that child.
If I'm having a conversation with someone else and my child isn't a part of
that conversation, I will find him or her something else to do. Or maybe she
can listen quietly, but getting into the conversation is no more okay than if
one of my kids tried to have a conversation with someone else (child or not)
and I kept butting in with distracting questions or comments.
If a mom is unwilling to have conversations without her child being an active
and equal participant, she might not have many people to talk to before long.
And I would NOT be interested in having my discussions tape recorded for
later replay just because a mom was unwilling to have a private conversation
with me. If I liked the kid, I'd help him be part of the conversation. If I
didn't want him to be part of the conversation and the mom was clueless,
there probably wouldn't BE a conversation, or not at the calm and thoughtful
level she might have preferred.
I give my kids space, and because of that DIRECTLY, it seems, they're quite
willing to do the same for me and for each other, and others.
Sandra
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have A Nice Day!
I also agree with this.
When two other adults are having a conversation, I don't interrupt their conversation to ask what they are talking about. That would be considered inappropriate.
I think children also need to learn that its inappropriate for them to involve themselves in a conversation that they were not originally part of, unless they are invited.
Kristen
When two other adults are having a conversation, I don't interrupt their conversation to ask what they are talking about. That would be considered inappropriate.
I think children also need to learn that its inappropriate for them to involve themselves in a conversation that they were not originally part of, unless they are invited.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Tim and Maureen
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2003 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Interrupted Conversation
I have to say I agree with this.I put it this way. I ask my children if they had there friend over and I sat there the entire time asking them to repeat what they said would they want that or would they find it uncomfortable. They of course would find it intrusive. I can see how kids want to hear adult conversation and there are times i am willing for them to be involved but to continually ask what is meant or said I don't agree as being respectful and I think we as parents also have a right to the same respect we would afford our kids. I have handled this by saying they can listen if this works for us but that I will explain later not during the conversation and there are some conversations that I don't want to share or explain.
Maureen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2003 7:34 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Interrupted Conversation
In a message dated 5/15/03 7:31:20 AM, corbley@... writes:
<< I immediately thought, Give him a micro cassette recorder! Do the
reporter game as K. suggested, this way but he won't have to write
and keep up with what is said. He is assured of catching it all on
tape. He can ask *all* the questions he wants later. Of course,
you'll have to ask people is they mind being recorded. >>
How can people who believe kids should be able to have some privacy not also
think adults should?
If I'm having a conversation with someone else (adult or not) and my child
NEEDS me, I will put that conversation on hold and deal with that child.
If I'm having a conversation with someone else and my child isn't a part of
that conversation, I will find him or her something else to do. Or maybe she
can listen quietly, but getting into the conversation is no more okay than if
one of my kids tried to have a conversation with someone else (child or not)
and I kept butting in with distracting questions or comments.
If a mom is unwilling to have conversations without her child being an active
and equal participant, she might not have many people to talk to before long.
And I would NOT be interested in having my discussions tape recorded for
later replay just because a mom was unwilling to have a private conversation
with me. If I liked the kid, I'd help him be part of the conversation. If I
didn't want him to be part of the conversation and the mom was clueless,
there probably wouldn't BE a conversation, or not at the calm and thoughtful
level she might have preferred.
I give my kids space, and because of that DIRECTLY, it seems, they're quite
willing to do the same for me and for each other, and others.
Sandra
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deborah Lewis
Before you get company you can just ask him to not interrupt when you're
talking. I'd explain it's hard to have a conversation when some one
does that.
He can save his questions for later if he's there, listening.
He'll get the whole conversation thing figured out. Although my mother
never did.<g> But she wasn't an unschooler. She's just pushy. <g>
Deb L
talking. I'd explain it's hard to have a conversation when some one
does that.
He can save his questions for later if he's there, listening.
He'll get the whole conversation thing figured out. Although my mother
never did.<g> But she wasn't an unschooler. She's just pushy. <g>
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 5-15-2003 9:21:30 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
take shape ... My kids are receptive to my explanation of *diana time*, that
I need to do things (i.e. private conversations, an evening without them) to
be sure that *diana* is nurtured just as I nurture them by being *mommy* ~
and yes, I know mommy IS diana and diana IS mommy ~ the dominance needs to
change occasionally. They understand because they are aware of the oh so
subtle shift between being Hannah/Hayden and being Mommy's child.
I have no doubt that the child in the original post can understand mommy's
need to be herself and have her own friends ...
diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
“I'm just a human being trying to make it in a world that is very rapidly
losing it's understanding of being human" John Trudell
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> How can people who believe kids should be able to have some privacy not alsoThanks for this Sandra. I had the idea in my head, but the words had yet to
>
> think adults should?
take shape ... My kids are receptive to my explanation of *diana time*, that
I need to do things (i.e. private conversations, an evening without them) to
be sure that *diana* is nurtured just as I nurture them by being *mommy* ~
and yes, I know mommy IS diana and diana IS mommy ~ the dominance needs to
change occasionally. They understand because they are aware of the oh so
subtle shift between being Hannah/Hayden and being Mommy's child.
I have no doubt that the child in the original post can understand mommy's
need to be herself and have her own friends ...
diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
“I'm just a human being trying to make it in a world that is very rapidly
losing it's understanding of being human" John Trudell
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]