unschooling as not "normal"
averyschmidt
Last night, after a long tiring day trip and a few tense family
moments, I was laying in bed with my 8 and 10 yo sons. At the
moment when my oldest was about to fall asleep he had an interesting
thing to say out of the blue. Something like "sometimes I wish you
just put me in school when I was 5 like everyone else, and we never
even knew about homeschooling, and then I'd be normal."
My first reaction was heart-sinking panic (these words have been my
worst homeschooling-related nightmare since he was five and didn't
go to school), but I covered it up pretty well and tried to respond
rationally and explore with him why he felt that way.
We talked about how he's free to try school any time he wants to,
but that didn't satisfy him much since a.) he's already tasted
comlete freedom and knows that it's a hard act to follow, and b.) he
feels like it's a culture he doesn't understand and would stick out
like a sore thumb if he did go. My 8yo then piped up and said that
he *wants* to go to school but he's afraid that he'll look stupid
since he can't really read yet and struggles with handwriting.
(He's aware that he knows more than other kids in *other* areas but
this doesn't help much when he pictures himself in a school setting.)
We left the conversation open, but I'm sure it will come up again
today, and I'm trying very hard to not get too emotional and
override their opinions and desires with my own. I'm also trying
not to let my pride get in the way. (Oh my God, the "I told you
so"s that would fly if certain family members overheard that
conversation!)
Has anyone else gone through this? I should point out that we live
in a small town where everyone goes to school, including their best
friends. Philosophically I'm an unschooler at heart, so it pains me
to even be thinking about these things.
I'm totally okay with not being "normal", but apparently it's
something that bothers my children sometimes. Their drive to be
part of their immediate community is strong enough to override all
of the "you're so lucky" comments they get from schooled friends.
I need some new insights here.
:-/
Patti
moments, I was laying in bed with my 8 and 10 yo sons. At the
moment when my oldest was about to fall asleep he had an interesting
thing to say out of the blue. Something like "sometimes I wish you
just put me in school when I was 5 like everyone else, and we never
even knew about homeschooling, and then I'd be normal."
My first reaction was heart-sinking panic (these words have been my
worst homeschooling-related nightmare since he was five and didn't
go to school), but I covered it up pretty well and tried to respond
rationally and explore with him why he felt that way.
We talked about how he's free to try school any time he wants to,
but that didn't satisfy him much since a.) he's already tasted
comlete freedom and knows that it's a hard act to follow, and b.) he
feels like it's a culture he doesn't understand and would stick out
like a sore thumb if he did go. My 8yo then piped up and said that
he *wants* to go to school but he's afraid that he'll look stupid
since he can't really read yet and struggles with handwriting.
(He's aware that he knows more than other kids in *other* areas but
this doesn't help much when he pictures himself in a school setting.)
We left the conversation open, but I'm sure it will come up again
today, and I'm trying very hard to not get too emotional and
override their opinions and desires with my own. I'm also trying
not to let my pride get in the way. (Oh my God, the "I told you
so"s that would fly if certain family members overheard that
conversation!)
Has anyone else gone through this? I should point out that we live
in a small town where everyone goes to school, including their best
friends. Philosophically I'm an unschooler at heart, so it pains me
to even be thinking about these things.
I'm totally okay with not being "normal", but apparently it's
something that bothers my children sometimes. Their drive to be
part of their immediate community is strong enough to override all
of the "you're so lucky" comments they get from schooled friends.
I need some new insights here.
:-/
Patti