melissa4123

WARNING: This is a long one.....I need to vent. So far I've been
pretty lucky when I tell people that we are homeschooling my DD Karen
(2 years). Of course, the only people I've told have been family and
most of them totally agree with DH and myself. That all changed
today. :)

My dd and I are part of a play group that meets every other week at
different parks in the area. I had mentioned a while back that we
were considering homeschooling Karen to one of the other mothers and
she seemed supportive, even offered to get me an email address of a
relative who is homeschooling. Today, she asked me if we had decided
for sure and, when I told her that we were going to be homeschooling,
she got sort of hostile. I couldn't believe it. I've read about the
hostility that others have faced but, I guess I just didn't expect it
to come from anyone that I know personally.

She's was a public school teacher before having her baby 2 years ago,
by the way. She started out asking me general questions about why we
didn't want to send Karen to public school and wanted to know how it
all work legally. Then, she started trying to convince me how great
the school district is that I live in and how her cousin really likes
the Elementary School that's just down the street from my house. When
I told her that, in California, you can be listed as a private school
and not have to report to the state and pretty much do you own thing.
That's when I could tell she got really hostile. She tried telling
me that I didn't know what I was talking about and that, even if that
was the case, I should still report in weekly with a district person
and have Karen tested periodically since I didn't want to deprive her
of learning and making sure she's on course! Excuse me?! THEN, she
started talking about the social aspect of not going to school. And,
I would want to be connected with a school, just in case Karen decided
that she wanted to join afterschool activities.

When I told her that I was part of a homeschooling group here in town
that meets once a week, she started saying how they are probably all
"hippie" types who grow and eat their own food and "that type of
thing." Even if they WERE all like that, which they aren't, what in
the hell is wrong with growing and eating your own fruits and
veggies?! That alone teaches kids a heck of a lot. I didn't even
tell her that we were planning on unschooling....can't imagine what
she would have said to that!

The only nice thing she said about homeschooling was about her cousin,
the one who homeschools her kids. But, from what she said, that woman
has a school at home type setup which it totally the opposite of what
we're going to be doing. I guess I'm so upset because this is a woman
that I really like and have been "friends" with for a while. I just
didn't expect it from her.

Grrrrr,
Melissa

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/13/2003 3:33:45 PM Eastern Standard Time,
melissa4123@... writes:

> I guess I'm so upset because this is a woman
> that I really like and have been "friends" with for a while. I just
> didn't expect it from her.
>
> Grrrrr,
> Melissa

I bet she is mad cuz she wants to do the same but thinks she cannot because
she is a teacher. Her anger comes from her own personal issues.
You took the first lynching well, from here on out you will feel more and
more pride as time goes by.
Good for you!

Laura D


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

becqui

>> She's was a public school teacher before having her baby 2 years ago,
by the way. She started out asking me general questions about why we
didn't want to send Karen to public school and wanted to know how it
all work legally. Then, she started trying to convince me how great
the school district is that I live in and how her cousin really likes
the Elementary School that's just down the street from my house. When
I told her that, in California, you can be listed as a private school
and not have to report to the state and pretty much do you own thing.
That's when I could tell she got really hostile. She tried telling
me that I didn't know what I was talking about and that, even if that
was the case, I should still report in weekly with a district person
and have Karen tested periodically since I didn't want to deprive her
of learning and making sure she's on course! Excuse me?! THEN, she
started talking about the social aspect of not going to school. And,
I would want to be connected with a school, just in case Karen decided
that she wanted to join afterschool activities. >>

I swear, some of these people who are suppose to the trained to deal with
kids know nothing. A few weeks ago we had a Child protective worker tell us
all young kids need to attend school so that their learning habits can be
established in a correct manner. She said by my pulling out my 8 and 6 yr
old from school due to the undo pressure they where both having put on them
to learn to read was "giving" up on my son. I informed her I was not giving
up on him but saving his life from people like her who try to put all kids
in this little box with expectations that not all kids can or want to meet.
I also informed her all the "special" services she said the school had, had
been utilized and my son was behind "when" he left school, so obviously
their special programs did not work either. The CPS worker was not
concerned about my older kids since their learning habits where already
there...like there was no hope for them now if they were behind type of
attitude.

I will say my kids have never been happier since coming home and not needing
to do something they do not want or are not ready to do.

Becqui



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<A few weeks ago we had a Child protective worker tell us
all young kids need to attend school so that their learning habits can
be
established in a correct manner. >>



But that is exactly what early childhood programs do - attempt to
establish learning habits that are correct for the school system!
Including all the sad and sly behaviors that John Holt refers to that
are children trying to protect themselves and survive. For me I remember
just accepting that I was stupid, to the extent that when "they" decided
to send me to an experimental school for gifted kids (at age 11 or 12),
I went along for at least a year waiting for someone to realize they had
made a mistake. Anyone seen the First Five campaign in California at the
moment promoting pre-schools because they "prepare" for kindergarten
which has a domino effect right up to "doing better in college"? They
say in the ads "studies show." I say "Cite your sources!"



Robyn Coburn



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma2kids

>>I guess I'm so upset because this is a woman that I really like and
have been "friends" with for a while. I just didn't expect it from
her.>>

Take a deep breath Melissa and then let it all out. This is the first
negative homeschooling encounter you've had, but it probably won't be
the last unfortunately.

Think of your "friend" like a mama bear protecting her young. In this
case it's everything she has always known and believed about bringing
up her young. You CAN'T be right in your choice, because then she
would have to consider she might be wrong in hers.

Let it go. It's not worth the negative energy to hold onto it.

Life is good.
~Mary

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/13/2003 11:14:52 PM Eastern Standard Time,
dezigna@... writes:


> Anyone seen the First Five campaign in California at the
> moment promoting pre-schools because they "prepare" for kindergarten
> which has a domino effect right up to "doing better in college"? They
> say in the ads "studies show." I say "Cite your sources!"
>


I remember reading someplace that a study was done on whether the Head Start
program "turned out" high school graduates some day, and there was either no
difference in the number of former head start kids who graduated and the
general public, or there were less head start kids who graduated from high
school than the general public. Anyhow, it's unnecessary, by far. Wish I
could find the stats!

Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Have A Nice Day!

PA is in the process of changing its policies based on some of these same studies I think, because thats all they talked about at a recent meeting I went to.

kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Robyn Coburn
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 10:31 PM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] Hostile experience @ play group


<<A few weeks ago we had a Child protective worker tell us
all young kids need to attend school so that their learning habits can
be
established in a correct manner. >>



But that is exactly what early childhood programs do - attempt to
establish learning habits that are correct for the school system!
Including all the sad and sly behaviors that John Holt refers to that
are children trying to protect themselves and survive. For me I remember
just accepting that I was stupid, to the extent that when "they" decided
to send me to an experimental school for gifted kids (at age 11 or 12),
I went along for at least a year waiting for someone to realize they had
made a mistake. Anyone seen the First Five campaign in California at the
moment promoting pre-schools because they "prepare" for kindergarten
which has a domino effect right up to "doing better in college"? They
say in the ads "studies show." I say "Cite your sources!"



Robyn Coburn



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

melissa4123

Mary,
You are absolutly right and, as soon as I had vented in this post, I
felt a lot better. Especially once I realized that by attacking my
choice, she validated hers. But, I KNOW that my DH and I are doing
what is right and best for us and have no doubts about homeschooling.
I just wish that others would realize that, my saying I'm
homeschooling, does not mean that I'm saying they are bad parents for
sending their kids to public schools.

Again, you are right and I do not need or want that negative energy
around me and my family and have let it go. :)

Melissa
--- In [email protected], "zenmomma2kids"
<zenmomma@h...> wrote:
> >>I guess I'm so upset because this is a woman that I really like and
> have been "friends" with for a while. I just didn't expect it from
> her.>>
>
> Take a deep breath Melissa and then let it all out. This is the first
> negative homeschooling encounter you've had, but it probably won't be
> the last unfortunately.
>
> Think of your "friend" like a mama bear protecting her young. In this
> case it's everything she has always known and believed about bringing
> up her young. You CAN'T be right in your choice, because then she
> would have to consider she might be wrong in hers.
>
> Let it go. It's not worth the negative energy to hold onto it.
>
> Life is good.
> ~Mary

Olga

Florida has the same sort of program. I can't remember the exact
name..something before 5. I worked extensively with preschools and I
can honestly say most of them just plain SUCK. It was horrible. I
used to go in and help train preschool teachers, moniter schools so
they could get approved for subsidized kids, etc. Really, what sort
of quality do you expect for $6 and hour?? What amazed me the most
was how dirty and cramped and closed in these schools were and yet
their enrollment was full. These schools were in no was supplying
the information that all these government programs are *hoping* they
do. Seeing all that made me certain my kids would not sit in
preschool all day. In fact, I used to be amazed at the *affluent*
parents who thought if they sent their kids to the *affluent* school
in town they were guarenteed success. I have been inside them and
they spend more money on their playgrounds and flooring then their
teachers.

I know in FLorida, they are discussing making preschool mandatory so
every child has that *learning experience*! I am not sure if this is
nation wide because of is really late and my son is sick and I cannot
remember! LOL!



--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@a...> wrote:
> <<A few weeks ago we had a Child protective worker tell us
> all young kids need to attend school so that their learning habits
can
> be
> established in a correct manner. >>
>
>
>
> But that is exactly what early childhood programs do - attempt to
> establish learning habits that are correct for the school system!
> Including all the sad and sly behaviors that John Holt refers to
that
> are children trying to protect themselves and survive. For me I
remember
> just accepting that I was stupid, to the extent that when "they"
decided
> to send me to an experimental school for gifted kids (at age 11 or
12),
> I went along for at least a year waiting for someone to realize
they had
> made a mistake. Anyone seen the First Five campaign in California
at the
> moment promoting pre-schools because they "prepare" for kindergarten
> which has a domino effect right up to "doing better in college"?
They
> say in the ads "studies show." I say "Cite your sources!"
>
>
>
> Robyn Coburn
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 5/13/03 11:25 PM, CelticFrau@... at CelticFrau@... wrote:

> I remember reading someplace that a study was done on whether the Head Start
> program "turned out" high school graduates some day

Head Start was intended for underprivileged kids, kids who might not have
books or someone to read to them or crayons and coloring books. The results
shouldn't be compared to general kids but to kids from the same
socioeconomic group that didn't have Head Start.

The problem was that people saw the early Head Start "schooling" helping
kids and assumed it was the schooling that was helping. But it was the
exposure to what most kids already had at home.

Joyce

coyote's corner

This is simply a way to create jobs in a bad economy. Pre-school doesn't do anything but separate the parent & child - in order for the state to "mold" our kids.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: CelticFrau@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 11:25 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Hostile experience @ play group


In a message dated 5/13/2003 11:14:52 PM Eastern Standard Time,
dezigna@... writes:


> Anyone seen the First Five campaign in California at the
> moment promoting pre-schools because they "prepare" for kindergarten
> which has a domino effect right up to "doing better in college"? They
> say in the ads "studies show." I say "Cite your sources!"
>


I remember reading someplace that a study was done on whether the Head Start
program "turned out" high school graduates some day, and there was either no
difference in the number of former head start kids who graduated and the
general public, or there were less head start kids who graduated from high
school than the general public. Anyhow, it's unnecessary, by far. Wish I
could find the stats!

Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

nellebelle

My understanding of the very first Head Start program is that they enrolled
the parents in classes to teach them basic nutrition, money management, job
skills, parenting skills. The kids did perform better, because the program
improved their family life, not because they learned the alphabet earlier.
These were families that really did need help. They were not middle income
families in the suburbs.

Somehow, the success of that program has been twisted to push for early
preschool for all kids. Most families are quite capable of providing young
children what they really need - a loving, nurturing, interesting
environment.

Mary Ellen

----- snip----- > I remember reading someplace that a study was done on
whether the Head Start
> program "turned out" high school graduates some day, and there was either
no
> difference in the number of former head start kids who graduated and the
> general public, or there were less head start kids who graduated from high
> school than the general public. Anyhow, it's unnecessary, by far. Wish I
> could find the stats!

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/14/2003 10:25:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
nellebelle@... writes:

> Somehow, the success of that program has been twisted to push for early
> preschool for all kids

Yeah---and they desperately need to make jobs for all those early childhood
ed graduates they are pushing through system!

When we were kids, they didn't even HAVE early childhood education classes,
did they? Wasn't that just the M.O.M. degree?

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/14/03 8:25:31 AM, nellebelle@... writes:

<< My understanding of the very first Head Start program is that they enrolled

the parents in classes to teach them basic nutrition, money management, job

skills, parenting skills. >>

Head Start was one of the "Title Programs," federal funding programs for
education called things like "Title IX" and I used to know what several of
them were but have closed off that part of trivia retrieval these days.

In the 60s, few states required kindergarten. It was optional and usually
not free. So it was something families with money provided kids as an intro
to school before the required first grade.

Head start was kindergarten for poor families.

Lots of states started making kindergarten mandatory, part of compulsory
education, and providing it in and at elementary schools.

In those places, head start backed up to four year olds, to get them ready
for kindergarten.

There might have been an accompanying program for parents, but Head Start
itself had to do with programs for "underprivilieged" kids in the year before
compulsory education.

Sandra

[email protected]

> The problem was that people saw the early Head Start "schooling" helping
> kids and assumed it was the schooling that was helping. But it was the
> exposure to what most kids already had at home.

Good point, Joyce :) I'm the *poster child* for early intervention programs
such as *Early Childhood* and *Head Start* (I was in our city's pilot
programs by age 2) simply because they removed me from my home and exposed me
to normal childhood stuff in a safe and clean environment. I succeeded
because I was allowed to. I'm glad it's there for the kids who need it & I'm
especially glad my kids don't.

diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
“I'm just a human being trying to make it in a world that is very rapidly
losing it's understanding of being human" John Trudell


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heidi

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 5/14/03 8:25:31 AM, nellebelle@c... writes:
>
> << My understanding of the very first Head Start program is that
they enrolled
>
> the parents in classes to teach them basic nutrition, money
management, job
>
> skills, parenting skills. >>
>
> Head Start was one of the "Title Programs," federal funding
programs for
> education called things like "Title IX" and I used to know what
several of
> them were but have closed off that part of trivia retrieval these
days.
>
> In the 60s, few states required kindergarten. It was optional and
usually
> not free. So it was something families with money provided kids as
an intro
> to school before the required first grade.
>
> Head start was kindergarten for poor families.
>
> Lots of states started making kindergarten mandatory, part of
compulsory
> education, and providing it in and at elementary schools.
>
> In those places, head start backed up to four year olds, to get
them ready
> for kindergarten.
>
> There might have been an accompanying program for parents, but
Head Start
> itself had to do with programs for "underprivilieged" kids in the
year before
> compulsory education.
>
> Sandra
\

Maybe I'm getting my First Ladies mixed up here, but I thought it was
Mrs. Nixon who created/started Head Start, as her Pet Project when
she was first lady. Richard Nixon was Pres. in 1970-1973 (the year he
resigned, right?) which would put the Head Start program in late
60's. Unless it already existed, and Pat (?) Nixon was the one who
pushed it back to the pre-K age.

I started Kindergarten in 1966 and it was offered free in Utah. Well
established, everyone-goes-to-K-when-they-are-five offered. May even
have been mandatory in UT by '66.

HeidiC

Tia Leschke

> In the 60s, few states required kindergarten. It was optional and usually
> not free. So it was something families with money provided kids as an
intro
> to school before the required first grade.

Free in California in '53. Sometimes I wish it hadn't been, and the rest of
it as well. <g>
>
>
> There might have been an accompanying program for parents, but Head Start
> itself had to do with programs for "underprivilieged" kids in the year
before
> compulsory education.

I remember when I first heard about Head Start. It was a place that little
kids went with their parent, and the parent was supposed to be learning
healthy ways to interact with their child. At least in California then.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

coyote's corner

Head Start started w/ Johnson.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: Heidi
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2003 12:29 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Hostile experience @ play group


--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 5/14/03 8:25:31 AM, nellebelle@c... writes:
>
> << My understanding of the very first Head Start program is that
they enrolled
>
> the parents in classes to teach them basic nutrition, money
management, job
>
> skills, parenting skills. >>
>
> Head Start was one of the "Title Programs," federal funding
programs for
> education called things like "Title IX" and I used to know what
several of
> them were but have closed off that part of trivia retrieval these
days.
>
> In the 60s, few states required kindergarten. It was optional and
usually
> not free. So it was something families with money provided kids as
an intro
> to school before the required first grade.
>
> Head start was kindergarten for poor families.
>
> Lots of states started making kindergarten mandatory, part of
compulsory
> education, and providing it in and at elementary schools.
>
> In those places, head start backed up to four year olds, to get
them ready
> for kindergarten.
>
> There might have been an accompanying program for parents, but
Head Start
> itself had to do with programs for "underprivilieged" kids in the
year before
> compulsory education.
>
> Sandra
\

Maybe I'm getting my First Ladies mixed up here, but I thought it was
Mrs. Nixon who created/started Head Start, as her Pet Project when
she was first lady. Richard Nixon was Pres. in 1970-1973 (the year he
resigned, right?) which would put the Head Start program in late
60's. Unless it already existed, and Pat (?) Nixon was the one who
pushed it back to the pre-K age.

I started Kindergarten in 1966 and it was offered free in Utah. Well
established, everyone-goes-to-K-when-they-are-five offered. May even
have been mandatory in UT by '66.

HeidiC


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~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

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To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

> Maybe I'm getting my First Ladies mixed up here, but I thought it was
> Mrs. Nixon who created/started Head Start, as her Pet Project when
> she was first lady. Richard Nixon was Pres. in 1970-1973 (the year he
> resigned, right?) which would put the Head Start program in late
> 60's. Unless it already existed, and Pat (?) Nixon was the one who
> pushed it back to the pre-K age.

I thought it was Ladybird Johnson.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...