Re: Ain't Misbehaving
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/12/2003 10:39:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
really uncomfortable feelings. I'd never describe my partner that way. Why my
kid?
Julian is not perfect....like the rest of us, sometimes he can be a jerk. But
overall, even when he was a very little kid, I didn't have to worry that he'd
"misbehave." He's never been spanked (well, once when he was a toddler I got
frustrated with something and did. But he didn't feel it through the diaper
and didn't notice, and I immediately burst into tears. Julian says if he
didn't notice, it doesn't count as being spanked, and after all this time I
should probably forgive myself and move on), never been grounded, and doesn't
get punished. We TALK about things.
Of course, Beth says having to process stuff can be worse than punishment. ;)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> ""<< ***And what exactly would the unschooling parent do to a willfullyYES!!! I kept reading the words "willful" and "misbehaving" and geeting
> misbehaving child?*** >>""
>
> Maybe the question should just be "How would you treat someone you really
> loved"?
>
> I know it sounds irritating to people whose kids are older and who are new
> to
> this whole principle/respect business, who have lived by rules and
> schedules,
> but my kids don't misbehave. They're honest and helpful and considerate.
> It's not because they're afraid they'll get in trouble because they don't.
>
> It's because they choose to be honest and helpful and considerate, because
> they see the direct value of it and the immediate usefulness and goodness
> of
> it.
>
>
really uncomfortable feelings. I'd never describe my partner that way. Why my
kid?
Julian is not perfect....like the rest of us, sometimes he can be a jerk. But
overall, even when he was a very little kid, I didn't have to worry that he'd
"misbehave." He's never been spanked (well, once when he was a toddler I got
frustrated with something and did. But he didn't feel it through the diaper
and didn't notice, and I immediately burst into tears. Julian says if he
didn't notice, it doesn't count as being spanked, and after all this time I
should probably forgive myself and move on), never been grounded, and doesn't
get punished. We TALK about things.
Of course, Beth says having to process stuff can be worse than punishment. ;)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 05/13/2003 7:45:26 AM Central Daylight Time,
KathrynJB@... writes:
grounded, either. But, boy, do they dread the *talks.* <g>
I know they'll appreciate it one, day, though. They're learning critically
important communication and interpersonal skills through this method. Mutual
respect is so important.
Laura B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
KathrynJB@... writes:
> Of course, Beth says having to process stuff can be worse than punishment.LOL Isn't THAT the truth! My kids have never been spanked, are never
> ;)
>
> Kathryn
>
>
>
grounded, either. But, boy, do they dread the *talks.* <g>
I know they'll appreciate it one, day, though. They're learning critically
important communication and interpersonal skills through this method. Mutual
respect is so important.
Laura B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]