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In a message dated 5/12/03 6:42:17 PM, mom2jrjedis@... writes:

<< I was telling a friend (who is lurking somewhere on this list) today that
suddenly I feel like my boys are around me soooo much more. I hadn't
realized that before they were actually hiding from me. I'm sure it's
because they figured if I didn't see or hear them for a while...maybe I would
forget that they were supposed to be doing "lessons." Now they bring every
lego creation, every picture, etc. to me to. >>

Good point, Jen. Holly has said that sometimes her friends avoid their
parents.

I'd rather feel too crowded and touched out by my kids (which still happens
sometimes even though they're older) than the opposite, than wishing they
wanted to talk to me and sit too close and tell me too many stories and sleep
with me.

Last night I really REALLY wanted to just go and get into my very own very
comfortable bed in an extra-quiet room, and first Holly had said okay. But I
had been gone for two days, and she kept stalling and wanting to hug me one
more time and finally asked me please to sleep with her.

I didn't sleep as well, and I missed getting to be with Keith a while, but I
think it's less to regret than if I had said "NO, Holly, I'm going where
you're not. You stay here and go asleep alone."

So I take a deep breath and remind myself that my kids LIKE to tell me stuff
and hang out with me.

This morning I was taking Marty to buy shoes. On the way out to the van he
veered off and went and brought our trashcan back and put it where it went.
He wasn't sucking up, he wasn't doing something he had to do, he was just
doing something that needed done, and he was close and did it. I thought of
thanking him for that but decided to just talk to him about his plans for the
rest of the day instead. I talked about him, instead of about how his
putting the trash can away had made my life easier. He didn't do it for me.
It's nice that it can get to that point if parents don't make kids do things
just because they're kids.

I realize I'm not talking about the school work aspect, but we've never had
that. I'm just trying to point out that it's not only schoolwork that can
make kids prefer not to be with parents, and I'm very happy to have kids who
are easy to be with, and who have nothing to hide from.

Sandra

Heidi

Hi Jen and Sandra


--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 5/12/03 6:42:17 PM, mom2jrjedis@b... writes:

Jen said: << I was telling a friend (who is lurking somewhere on this
list) today that
> suddenly I feel like my boys are around me soooo much more. I
hadn't
> realized that before they were actually hiding from me. I'm sure
it's
> because they figured if I didn't see or hear them for a
while...maybe I would
> forget that they were supposed to be doing "lessons." Now they
bring every
> lego creation, every picture, etc. to me to. >>

Oh, I remember the days! We'd be going along strong in our morning,
having breakfast, getting some morning chores out of the way, maybe
listening to Hank the Cow Dog or something, and I'd say "Okay, time
to get lessons going" and perhaps go in my room to put on my shoes.
Come back out to...an empty house! L everyone would ditch as soon as
I said anything about it. Especially Robby.

Sandra Said: > Good point, Jen. Holly has said that sometimes her
friends avoid their
> parents.

that is SAD.

> I'd rather feel too crowded and touched out by my kids (which still
happens
> sometimes even though they're older) than the opposite, than
wishing they
> wanted to talk to me and sit too close and tell me too many stories
and sleep
> with me.

I have to keep this concept in the front of my mind a lot, as Abbie
is a LOTR...fanatic? fiend?...to the point it's almost all she'll
talk about. When she's telling me what somebody on the LOTR message
board said about Orlando Bloom, or some esoteric fact about Ungoliant
the original giant spider, found only in the Lost Tales or
something...L...while inwardly rolling my eyeballs (because WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT THIS AGAIN???!!!?!??!?) I am also thanking God that I
have a 15 year old who wants to share her life with me. She wants to
talk to ME about this stuff. I'm a Tolkien fan myself, though not as
consumed with it as Abbie. when I was 15, though, I desperately
wanted another human being to talk to about it. And I'm just glad I'm
that human being in my girl's life. I ended up finding a bunch of
brainy stoners to talk with about Tolkien...and where that group of
friends led me...not a good place.

okay.

HeidiC

Jenny E.

From: "Heidi" <bunsofaluminum60@...>

> I have to keep this concept in the front of my mind a lot, as Abbie
> is a LOTR...fanatic? fiend?...to the point it's almost all she'll
> talk about. When she's telling me what somebody on the LOTR message
> board said about Orlando Bloom, or some esoteric fact about Ungoliant
> the original giant spider, found only in the Lost Tales or
> something...L...while inwardly rolling my eyeballs (because WE'RE
> TALKING ABOUT THIS AGAIN???!!!?!??!?)

Heidi...
Thank you for posting this an making me feel likes it alright and natural to feel this way about the lastest video game obsessions at my house! You posted my thoughts exactly: "We're talking about this AGAIN?!" :::grin:::

I do also have to smile when I think about the fact that when my boys play with the little boy next door...they always choose to play here and not at his house. There has to be a reason for that.

Jen :o)
Mom to Beck (7) and Dane (4)

Kelli Traaseth

----- Original Message -----
From: "Jenny E." <mom2jrjedis@...>

**I do also have to smile when I think about the fact that when my boys play
with the little boy next door...they always choose to play here and not at
his house. There has to be a reason for that.**

We have that here too, which is fine with me, but I don't think the other
parents are liking it much. The neighbor kids will come over now and say,
would you like to play? but we have to go to my house! I asked why and
the parents have told them they need to be home more, cuz they're at school
all day and then they need to be home. So if my kids want to play here,
the neighbor kids have to go home! Controlling, controlling, controlling.
This is the same family that sends their kids over but they can't play
inside, have to play outside, cuz the parents said so, and if they come
over they can't play video games or watch TV! AARRRGGHH!

The poor kids come to me and say they want to stay at our house. Yesterday
I was away from home with my youngest dd, Kyra(6) and I come home and the
neighbor kids are there. One is 8, one is 6. My dh said, "I told XX ,
the 6 yr old, that Kyra wasn't here, but she said "that's OK" and walks
in". So she hung out with my dh. I feel bad that these kids don't want
to hang out with their own parents. (Feel sad for the kids) Their dad and
mom were home. They are home every day.

Kelli