coyote's corner

Thanks so very much for this! This is so true.
Janis

Coyotes Corner
www.coyotescorner.com
very Cool Stuff for the World

----- Original Message -----
From: "jmcseals SEALS" <jmcseals@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, May 11, 2003 11:05 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Oops!Here's the rest! Re: Honor Your Childs
Need for Solitude By Fred Rogers


> How did I do THAT?? I left out half the essay!! Sorry!
>
> Jennifer
>
>
> Honor Your Child's Need for Solitude
> By Fred Rogers
> Fred Rogers, one of the most courageous supporters of childhood, better
> known as television's "Mister Rogers," a cultural icon and kindly neighbor
> to generations of American children, died Thursday, February 27, at the
age
> of 74. Here is one of his many great essays.
> It isn't only famous movie stars who want to be alone, and whenever I hear
> a celebrity speak of the value of times of solitude and privacy, I find
> myself thinking once again how real and deep the need for such times is
for
> all human beings.at all ages.
> Even for babies? Solitude? Yes, in some ways, especially for babies-and
> certainly that need is real as babies grow into toddlers and preschoolers.
> In one family we know, the parents bombarded their baby daughter with toys
> that rattled and tinkles and jiggled and spun, toys of all shapes and
colors
> and textures. It seemed as thought that baby hardly had a waking moment
> without intense outside stimulation of one kind or another.
> Her parents were well meaning; they wanted to encourage her to develop and
> learn in any way they could. But that baby, like most babies, needed time
> to get used to all the new things she was finding in her new world.
> Even without the parents' efforts to stimulate her, the world is
> stimulating enough! She needed times that were quiet, times of solitude,
> and she let her parents know it: when they still insisted she pay
attention,
> she'd close her eyes and go to sleep.
>
>
> It can be hard for parents to have their babies turn away from them. When
> a mother finds her baby turning away from her face, it can even seem like
> rejection. But faces, for babies, tend to be even more stimulating than
> toys, and a baby who can avoid over stimulation by turning away for a time
> may already be showing a healthy coping skill that will be useful all
> through life.
> The kind of solitude we are talking about goes by many names. It may be
> called "quiet time" or "down time." It may be criticized as "daydreaming"
> or "wool-gathering" (particularly in school), or it may be promoted later
on
> as "meditation" or "deep relaxation."
> But whatever it's called, it's a time to ourselves, away from outside
> stimulation, during which inner turbulence can settle, and we can become
> more familiar and more comfortable with our feelings.
> Solitude is different from loneliness and doesn't have to be a lonely kind
> of thing. In fact, very young children usually find it hard to be all
alone
> for a long time. For them the best times of solitude may occur with
someone
> they love and trust nearby, even in the same room.
> They may need the reassuring presence of an adult in order to let go, to
> feel their feelings. to think back over an event that troubled them, or to
> think ahead to a new challenge. It's the same kind of comforting
"solitary
> togetherness," the companionship in silence that spouses and old friends
> sometimes provide one another.
> Years ago, I came across a book by the Danish religious philosopher
> Johannes Anker-Larsen. It was called With the Door Open: My Experience.
A
> passage from it has always stayed with me:
> "The most comprehensive formula for human culture which I know was given
by
> the old peasant who, on his deathbed, obtained from his son this one
> promise: to sit every day for a half an hour ALONE in the best room. The
> son did this and became a model for the whole district. This father's
> command has take thought for everything, for Eternity, soul-deepening,
> refinement, history."
> I've thought a good deal about the meaning of that passage. When I see a
> baby quietly staring at his or her hands..or a toddler off in a corner
> putting something into a cup and then taking it out, over and over again.
or
> a preschooler lying in the grass daydreaming. I like to think that they,
in
> their own ways, are "alone in the best room" of their houses, using the
> solitude they need to find the courage to grow.
>
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