Oops!Here's the rest! Re: Honor Your Childs Need for Solitude By Fred Rogers
jmcseals SEALS
How did I do THAT?? I left out half the essay!! Sorry!
Jennifer
Honor Your Child�s Need for Solitude
By Fred Rogers
Fred Rogers, one of the most courageous supporters of childhood, better
known as television's "Mister Rogers," a cultural icon and kindly neighbor
to generations of American children, died Thursday, February 27, at the age
of 74. Here is one of his many great essays.
It isn�t only famous movie stars who want to be alone, and whenever I hear
a celebrity speak of the value of times of solitude and privacy, I find
myself thinking once again how real and deep the need for such times is for
all human beings�at all ages.
Even for babies? Solitude? Yes, in some ways, especially for babies-and
certainly that need is real as babies grow into toddlers and preschoolers.
In one family we know, the parents bombarded their baby daughter with toys
that rattled and tinkles and jiggled and spun, toys of all shapes and colors
and textures. It seemed as thought that baby hardly had a waking moment
without intense outside stimulation of one kind or another.
Her parents were well meaning; they wanted to encourage her to develop and
learn in any way they could. But that baby, like most babies, needed time
to get used to all the new things she was finding in her new world.
Even without the parents� efforts to stimulate her, the world is
stimulating enough! She needed times that were quiet, times of solitude,
and she let her parents know it: when they still insisted she pay attention,
she�d close her eyes and go to sleep.
It can be hard for parents to have their babies turn away from them. When
a mother finds her baby turning away from her face, it can even seem like
rejection. But faces, for babies, tend to be even more stimulating than
toys, and a baby who can avoid over stimulation by turning away for a time
may already be showing a healthy coping skill that will be useful all
through life.
The kind of solitude we are talking about goes by many names. It may be
called �quiet time� or �down time.� It may be criticized as �daydreaming�
or �wool-gathering� (particularly in school), or it may be promoted later on
as �meditation� or �deep relaxation.�
But whatever it�s called, it�s a time to ourselves, away from outside
stimulation, during which inner turbulence can settle, and we can become
more familiar and more comfortable with our feelings.
Solitude is different from loneliness and doesn�t have to be a lonely kind
of thing. In fact, very young children usually find it hard to be all alone
for a long time. For them the best times of solitude may occur with someone
they love and trust nearby, even in the same room.
They may need the reassuring presence of an adult in order to let go, to
feel their feelings. to think back over an event that troubled them, or to
think ahead to a new challenge. It�s the same kind of comforting �solitary
togetherness,� the companionship in silence that spouses and old friends
sometimes provide one another.
Years ago, I came across a book by the Danish religious philosopher
Johannes Anker-Larsen. It was called With the Door Open: My Experience. A
passage from it has always stayed with me:
�The most comprehensive formula for human culture which I know was given by
the old peasant who, on his deathbed, obtained from his son this one
promise: to sit every day for a half an hour ALONE in the best room. The
son did this and became a model for the whole district. This father�s
command has take thought for everything, for Eternity, soul-deepening,
refinement, history.�
I�ve thought a good deal about the meaning of that passage. When I see a
baby quietly staring at his or her hands�.or a toddler off in a corner
putting something into a cup and then taking it out, over and over again� or
a preschooler lying in the grass daydreaming� I like to think that they, in
their own ways, are �alone in the best room� of their houses, using the
solitude they need to find the courage to grow.
_________________________________________________________________
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Jennifer
Honor Your Child�s Need for Solitude
By Fred Rogers
Fred Rogers, one of the most courageous supporters of childhood, better
known as television's "Mister Rogers," a cultural icon and kindly neighbor
to generations of American children, died Thursday, February 27, at the age
of 74. Here is one of his many great essays.
It isn�t only famous movie stars who want to be alone, and whenever I hear
a celebrity speak of the value of times of solitude and privacy, I find
myself thinking once again how real and deep the need for such times is for
all human beings�at all ages.
Even for babies? Solitude? Yes, in some ways, especially for babies-and
certainly that need is real as babies grow into toddlers and preschoolers.
In one family we know, the parents bombarded their baby daughter with toys
that rattled and tinkles and jiggled and spun, toys of all shapes and colors
and textures. It seemed as thought that baby hardly had a waking moment
without intense outside stimulation of one kind or another.
Her parents were well meaning; they wanted to encourage her to develop and
learn in any way they could. But that baby, like most babies, needed time
to get used to all the new things she was finding in her new world.
Even without the parents� efforts to stimulate her, the world is
stimulating enough! She needed times that were quiet, times of solitude,
and she let her parents know it: when they still insisted she pay attention,
she�d close her eyes and go to sleep.
It can be hard for parents to have their babies turn away from them. When
a mother finds her baby turning away from her face, it can even seem like
rejection. But faces, for babies, tend to be even more stimulating than
toys, and a baby who can avoid over stimulation by turning away for a time
may already be showing a healthy coping skill that will be useful all
through life.
The kind of solitude we are talking about goes by many names. It may be
called �quiet time� or �down time.� It may be criticized as �daydreaming�
or �wool-gathering� (particularly in school), or it may be promoted later on
as �meditation� or �deep relaxation.�
But whatever it�s called, it�s a time to ourselves, away from outside
stimulation, during which inner turbulence can settle, and we can become
more familiar and more comfortable with our feelings.
Solitude is different from loneliness and doesn�t have to be a lonely kind
of thing. In fact, very young children usually find it hard to be all alone
for a long time. For them the best times of solitude may occur with someone
they love and trust nearby, even in the same room.
They may need the reassuring presence of an adult in order to let go, to
feel their feelings. to think back over an event that troubled them, or to
think ahead to a new challenge. It�s the same kind of comforting �solitary
togetherness,� the companionship in silence that spouses and old friends
sometimes provide one another.
Years ago, I came across a book by the Danish religious philosopher
Johannes Anker-Larsen. It was called With the Door Open: My Experience. A
passage from it has always stayed with me:
�The most comprehensive formula for human culture which I know was given by
the old peasant who, on his deathbed, obtained from his son this one
promise: to sit every day for a half an hour ALONE in the best room. The
son did this and became a model for the whole district. This father�s
command has take thought for everything, for Eternity, soul-deepening,
refinement, history.�
I�ve thought a good deal about the meaning of that passage. When I see a
baby quietly staring at his or her hands�.or a toddler off in a corner
putting something into a cup and then taking it out, over and over again� or
a preschooler lying in the grass daydreaming� I like to think that they, in
their own ways, are �alone in the best room� of their houses, using the
solitude they need to find the courage to grow.
_________________________________________________________________
Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online
http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963
Joan Hulett
Hi, Jen and List,I'm new to the list so I should probably wait to join in, but (there's always a but, isn't there?) I've always believed in beneficial neglect for my son Alex, now 5 and 1/2 (who just lost his first tooth!) When he wants time with me, he tells me and when he wants to do his own thing, he just wanders away till he wants to come back. We have a very slow pace of life here and lots of yard enclosed by a safe fence and I just love that he can go by himself to the sandbox and build for an hour. He loves it too.I think it gives him a chance to think his own thoughts and figure stuff out on his own. And when something cool happens, he comes running in excited to show me. Solitude is great for me too. Everyone needs downtime.JMHO, Joan HulettUnschooler in Pasadena, Ca
jmcseals SEALS <jmcseals@...> wrote:How did I do THAT?? I left out half the essay!! Sorry!
Jennifer
Honor Your Child�s Need for Solitude
By Fred Rogers
Fred Rogers, one of the most courageous supporters of childhood, better
known as television's "Mister Rogers," a cultural icon and kindly neighbor
to generations of American children, died Thursday, February 27, at the age
of 74. Here is one of his many great essays.
It isn�t only famous movie stars who want to be alone, and whenever I hear
a celebrity speak of the value of times of solitude and privacy, I find
myself thinking once again how real and deep the need for such times is for
all human beings�at all ages.
Even for babies? Solitude? Yes, in some ways, especially for babies-and
certainly that need is real as babies grow into toddlers and preschoolers.
In one family we know, the parents bombarded their baby daughter with toys
that rattled and tinkles and jiggled and spun, toys of all shapes and colors
and textures. It seemed as thought that baby hardly had a waking moment
without intense outside stimulation of one kind or another.
Her parents were well meaning; they wanted to encourage her to develop and
learn in any way they could. But that baby, like most babies, needed time
to get used to all the new things she was finding in her new world.
Even without the parents� efforts to stimulate her, the world is
stimulating enough! She needed times that were quiet, times of solitude,
and she let her parents know it: when they still insisted she pay attention,
she�d close her eyes and go to sleep.
It can be hard for parents to have their babies turn away from them. When
a mother finds her baby turning away from her face, it can even seem like
rejection. But faces, for babies, tend to be even more stimulating than
toys, and a baby who can avoid over stimulation by turning away for a time
may already be showing a healthy coping skill that will be useful all
through life.
The kind of solitude we are talking about goes by many names. It may be
called �quiet time� or �down time.� It may be criticized as �daydreaming�
or �wool-gathering� (particularly in school), or it may be promoted later on
as �meditation� or �deep relaxation.�
But whatever it�s called, it�s a time to ourselves, away from outside
stimulation, during which inner turbulence can settle, and we can become
more familiar and more comfortable with our feelings.
Solitude is different from loneliness and doesn�t have to be a lonely kind
of thing. In fact, very young children usually find it hard to be all alone
for a long time. For them the best times of solitude may occur with someone
they love and trust nearby, even in the same room.
They may need the reassuring presence of an adult in order to let go, to
feel their feelings. to think back over an event that troubled them, or to
think ahead to a new challenge. It�s the same kind of comforting �solitary
togetherness,� the companionship in silence that spouses and old friends
sometimes provide one another.
Years ago, I came across a book by the Danish religious philosopher
Johannes Anker-Larsen. It was called With the Door Open: My Experience. A
passage from it has always stayed with me:
�The most comprehensive formula for human culture which I know was given by
the old peasant who, on his deathbed, obtained from his son this one
promise: to sit every day for a half an hour ALONE in the best room. The
son did this and became a model for the whole district. This father�s
command has take thought for everything, for Eternity, soul-deepening,
refinement, history.�
I�ve thought a good deal about the meaning of that passage. When I see a
baby quietly staring at his or her hands�.or a toddler off in a corner
putting something into a cup and then taking it out, over and over again� or
a preschooler lying in the grass daydreaming� I like to think that they, in
their own ways, are �alone in the best room� of their houses, using the
solitude they need to find the courage to grow.
_________________________________________________________________
Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online
http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963
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jmcseals SEALS <jmcseals@...> wrote:How did I do THAT?? I left out half the essay!! Sorry!
Jennifer
Honor Your Child�s Need for Solitude
By Fred Rogers
Fred Rogers, one of the most courageous supporters of childhood, better
known as television's "Mister Rogers," a cultural icon and kindly neighbor
to generations of American children, died Thursday, February 27, at the age
of 74. Here is one of his many great essays.
It isn�t only famous movie stars who want to be alone, and whenever I hear
a celebrity speak of the value of times of solitude and privacy, I find
myself thinking once again how real and deep the need for such times is for
all human beings�at all ages.
Even for babies? Solitude? Yes, in some ways, especially for babies-and
certainly that need is real as babies grow into toddlers and preschoolers.
In one family we know, the parents bombarded their baby daughter with toys
that rattled and tinkles and jiggled and spun, toys of all shapes and colors
and textures. It seemed as thought that baby hardly had a waking moment
without intense outside stimulation of one kind or another.
Her parents were well meaning; they wanted to encourage her to develop and
learn in any way they could. But that baby, like most babies, needed time
to get used to all the new things she was finding in her new world.
Even without the parents� efforts to stimulate her, the world is
stimulating enough! She needed times that were quiet, times of solitude,
and she let her parents know it: when they still insisted she pay attention,
she�d close her eyes and go to sleep.
It can be hard for parents to have their babies turn away from them. When
a mother finds her baby turning away from her face, it can even seem like
rejection. But faces, for babies, tend to be even more stimulating than
toys, and a baby who can avoid over stimulation by turning away for a time
may already be showing a healthy coping skill that will be useful all
through life.
The kind of solitude we are talking about goes by many names. It may be
called �quiet time� or �down time.� It may be criticized as �daydreaming�
or �wool-gathering� (particularly in school), or it may be promoted later on
as �meditation� or �deep relaxation.�
But whatever it�s called, it�s a time to ourselves, away from outside
stimulation, during which inner turbulence can settle, and we can become
more familiar and more comfortable with our feelings.
Solitude is different from loneliness and doesn�t have to be a lonely kind
of thing. In fact, very young children usually find it hard to be all alone
for a long time. For them the best times of solitude may occur with someone
they love and trust nearby, even in the same room.
They may need the reassuring presence of an adult in order to let go, to
feel their feelings. to think back over an event that troubled them, or to
think ahead to a new challenge. It�s the same kind of comforting �solitary
togetherness,� the companionship in silence that spouses and old friends
sometimes provide one another.
Years ago, I came across a book by the Danish religious philosopher
Johannes Anker-Larsen. It was called With the Door Open: My Experience. A
passage from it has always stayed with me:
�The most comprehensive formula for human culture which I know was given by
the old peasant who, on his deathbed, obtained from his son this one
promise: to sit every day for a half an hour ALONE in the best room. The
son did this and became a model for the whole district. This father�s
command has take thought for everything, for Eternity, soul-deepening,
refinement, history.�
I�ve thought a good deal about the meaning of that passage. When I see a
baby quietly staring at his or her hands�.or a toddler off in a corner
putting something into a cup and then taking it out, over and over again� or
a preschooler lying in the grass daydreaming� I like to think that they, in
their own ways, are �alone in the best room� of their houses, using the
solitude they need to find the courage to grow.
_________________________________________________________________
Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online
http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963
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Robyn Coburn
Ooh, ooh, ooh!! I may be too excited for words. I have been feeling like
the only unschooler in the greater LA area. I have an otherwise good
local support group in Playa Del Rey/Westchester (near LA International
Airport for those not from here) but who are pretty vocally
anti-unschooling. (Unschoolers are too "rigid about freedom" is one
recent confusing criticism.) I have yet to raise my courage to shout
from the rooftops, as someone else was mentioning. Joan, my daughter is
3 1/2, and often plays for long periods alone with her dolls. Perhaps we
could meet sometime. Pasadena is not too far a drive for me, I have made
longer commutes to work in my old life.
Robyn Coburn
<<Joan Hulett Unschooler in Pasadena, Ca>>
the only unschooler in the greater LA area. I have an otherwise good
local support group in Playa Del Rey/Westchester (near LA International
Airport for those not from here) but who are pretty vocally
anti-unschooling. (Unschoolers are too "rigid about freedom" is one
recent confusing criticism.) I have yet to raise my courage to shout
from the rooftops, as someone else was mentioning. Joan, my daughter is
3 1/2, and often plays for long periods alone with her dolls. Perhaps we
could meet sometime. Pasadena is not too far a drive for me, I have made
longer commutes to work in my old life.
Robyn Coburn
<<Joan Hulett Unschooler in Pasadena, Ca>>
Joan Hulett
Hi, Robyn,I'd love to! You all could come here or we could go there. Alex loves new places and I'd love to chat about what your plans (wink) are.Smiles, Joan
Robyn Coburn <dezigna@...> wrote:Ooh, ooh, ooh!! I may be too excited for words. I have been feeling like
the only unschooler in the greater LA area. I have an otherwise good
local support group in Playa Del Rey/Westchester (near LA International
Airport for those not from here) but who are pretty vocally
anti-unschooling. (Unschoolers are too "rigid about freedom" is one
recent confusing criticism.) I have yet to raise my courage to shout
from the rooftops, as someone else was mentioning. Joan, my daughter is
3 1/2, and often plays for long periods alone with her dolls. Perhaps we
could meet sometime. Pasadena is not too far a drive for me, I have made
longer commutes to work in my old life.
Robyn Coburn
<<Joan Hulett Unschooler in Pasadena, Ca>>
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor 2003 Mini Cooper2003 Nissan 350Z2003 BMW M32003 Honda Accord2003 Toyota Camrymore... [input]
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---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn <dezigna@...> wrote:Ooh, ooh, ooh!! I may be too excited for words. I have been feeling like
the only unschooler in the greater LA area. I have an otherwise good
local support group in Playa Del Rey/Westchester (near LA International
Airport for those not from here) but who are pretty vocally
anti-unschooling. (Unschoolers are too "rigid about freedom" is one
recent confusing criticism.) I have yet to raise my courage to shout
from the rooftops, as someone else was mentioning. Joan, my daughter is
3 1/2, and often plays for long periods alone with her dolls. Perhaps we
could meet sometime. Pasadena is not too far a drive for me, I have made
longer commutes to work in my old life.
Robyn Coburn
<<Joan Hulett Unschooler in Pasadena, Ca>>
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor 2003 Mini Cooper2003 Nissan 350Z2003 BMW M32003 Honda Accord2003 Toyota Camrymore... [input]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]