susan

monkeycoop@... wrote:

> Susan,
> I agree with you completely. It seems so "natural" to enroll our little ones
> in a class, a playgroup, a gymboree thing, etc. When you stop and think, it
> really isn't natural at all! It IS one of those insidious societal things
> (yikes - now I sound paranoid!).

yea i think about that too - sounding paranoid. i'm not honest:) i just think
it takes a bit of conscious effort to not blindly (or out guilt and
manipulation) 'follow the pack'. though some days it crosses my mind that
perhaps it might just be easier 'to follow the beaten path' but then i come back
to my senses <g>

> I think our little ones do best at our
> sides, learning how life works and how much they are loved and cared for.

i find that rene' is much happier and more fulfilled because i will love him no
matter what 'dastardly deed' he may have just performed:) and that's the real
experience they need at these early stages - unconditional love and acceptance
while learning to co-exist with other (e.g. i love you but stop jumping on my
head <g> this is not generally how other would react and understandable so:)


> BTW, are you feeling well after your loss? I hope you are managing OK.
>
> KIM
> ***runs with scissors***

thank you for asking. actually i'm doing surprisingly well (even though my
mother had her lawyer call me 2 days after - she knew about the miscarriage,
she's just an opportunist at heart <g>. i'm just happy we live 1700 miles
away)

i went to see an acupuncturist who is really wonderful. she is very positive
and is close friends with my midwife so when we all agree - hopefully in a few
months - we'll try again. also, rene' has now reduce the number of his request
for sibling from 3 sets of twins, lol, (2 girls, 2 boys and 1 girl & 1 boy) to
just one (1 girl & 1 boy). he's a funny kid.

-susan
austin,tx

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In a message dated 3/1/00 12:05:32 PM Central Standard Time,
fxfireob@... writes:

<< i think this whole concern with/pressure to socialize kids at younger
and younger ages, is society's way of rationalizing 'our' new social
trend to institutionalize our kids (and ultimately our society) >>

Susan,
I agree with you completely. It seems so "natural" to enroll our little ones
in a class, a playgroup, a gymboree thing, etc. When you stop and think, it
really isn't natural at all! It IS one of those insidious societal things
(yikes - now I sound paranoid!). I think our little ones do best at our
sides, learning how life works and how much they are loved and cared for.

BTW, are you feeling well after your loss? I hope you are managing OK.

KIM
***runs with scissors***

Nanci and Thomas Kuykendall

It seems so "natural" to enroll our little ones
>in a class, a playgroup, a gymboree thing, etc. When you stop and think, it
>really isn't natural at all! It IS one of those insidious societal things
>(yikes - now I sound paranoid!). I think our little ones do best at our
>sides, learning how life works and how much they are loved and cared for.
>KIM

I could not agree with you both more. I have my little ones at home and they are doing just great. I think it is so vitally important for them to form those bonds and relationships at home well and strongly before they are thrust out into the larger culture to fend for themselves in social situaitons.

Nanci K.


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In a message dated 3/1/00 1:18:14 PM Pacific Standard Time,
tn-k4of5@... writes:

<< I could not agree with you both more. I have my little ones at home and
they are doing just great. I think it is so vitally important for them to
form those bonds and relationships at home well and strongly before they are
thrust out into the larger culture to fend for themselves in social
situaitons. >>
I agreee with you all about this and have no intention of putting my 16mo in
Mommy's-day-out as people keep insisting I should. I will take her to mom and
me in the park, but that's for me to meet moms, not for her to meet toddlers.
Having said that, am I the only one who is sometimes overwhelmed by the
strength of that bond? I rarely get a break, not even a shower by myself,
unless she's sleeping. She will not stay with her dad and let me walk out of
the room, although they're fine together if I can sneak out without letting
her see me go. If she sees me leaving for a run,a shower, a nap or whatever
she totally loses it. She has always been this way so it's not a separation
anxiety phase. I really appreciate the chance to be home with her, because I
couldn't with my older daughter when she was this age, but I would
occasionally like to leave her with her dad and not have to sneak out of my
own house.
candice

Shannon CC

czuniga145@... wrote:
> I agreee with you all about this and have no intention of putting my 16mo in
> Mommy's-day-out as people keep insisting I should. I will take her to mom and
> me in the park, but that's for me to meet moms, not for her to meet toddlers.
> Having said that, am I the only one who is sometimes overwhelmed by the
> strength of that bond? I rarely get a break, not even a shower by myself,
> unless she's sleeping. She will not stay with her dad and let me walk out of
> the room, although they're fine together if I can sneak out without letting
> her see me go. If she sees me leaving for a run,a shower, a nap or whatever
> she totally loses it. She has always been this way so it's not a separation
> anxiety phase. I really appreciate the chance to be home with her, because I
> couldn't with my older daughter when she was this age, but I would
> occasionally like to leave her with her dad and not have to sneak out of my
> own house.
> candice
>

IKWYM! Bridget is almost 17 m/o and I don't get many breaks. From 4-9
months (when she started crawling) she absolutely would not go to anyone
else. So I just went with it :-) Grin and bear it, lol! She has become
much more independent, but is still very much a mama's girl. If I leave
her with someone I have to sneak away. If she does not see me go she's
fine, but if she sees me leave she gets very upset and I cannot leave
her. Well, ok, I guess I could leave her. I mean to say I will not leave
her when she is upset.

Oh, and I only take showers on weekends now when her dada plays with
her. During the week I lean over the tub and wash my hair. Yes, I'm
stinky, lol! But she does not like for me to shower. I think it scares
her.

I am enjoying this thread since I was feeling guilty about not bringing
her to play groups. I'm not a very social person myself, and we sleep in
late so we tend to miss a lot of morning stuff. However, after last
week, when another toddler attacked her in a store and an older child
hit her, I am not inclined to go out of my way to find children for her
to visit. She's getting plenty of socialization running daily errands
with me and seeing family.

shannon

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In a message dated 3/1/00 3:41:50 PM Central Standard Time,
czuniga145@... writes:

<< am I the only one who is sometimes overwhelmed by the
strength of that bond? >>
NO, NO, and NO!!! I felt that way with both of my boys and I'm sure I'll
feel that way with my Josephine too. I think it's a good sign. They are so
deeply bonded that to them it feels like losing a limb when we go away. It's
hard for us but just think how utterly secure these children will feel when
they are a bit older. My 8 year old has only recently let me out of his firm
grasp. He loosened up last year when we took him out of school and he had
the chance to be around me all the time - coincidence? I think not. My five
year old still hovers more than I would really like, but I know he needs me
and it's for such a short time. I do put my foot down on Saturday mornings.
They have "guy time" with dad. I go to the bakery with a good book, then I
run all my errands, and usually end up at the library. Aaaaahhhh... There
are definitely times during the week when I begin to feel desperate for a
little space. That's why I LOVE my computer!
KIM
***runs with scissors***