Bummed about 'Field Day'
[email protected]
My husband just called and informed me he's bringing my son home after
a "Field Day" that our community had at a local park. (I went for a couple
of hours this morning, then had to come home.) He said our son, Conner, is
"bummed," because he didn't get a single ribbon for excelling in any one
event. I, myself, couldn't care less. I just wanted him to get out in the
fresh air and enjoy himself. But seems there were some competitions that
were stiff and he is disappointed. Do you all have any suggestions on what I
can say to him when he gets home to lighten his mood? He is very sensitive.
. . .(sigh)
Thanks a lot, everyone,
Susan
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
a "Field Day" that our community had at a local park. (I went for a couple
of hours this morning, then had to come home.) He said our son, Conner, is
"bummed," because he didn't get a single ribbon for excelling in any one
event. I, myself, couldn't care less. I just wanted him to get out in the
fresh air and enjoy himself. But seems there were some competitions that
were stiff and he is disappointed. Do you all have any suggestions on what I
can say to him when he gets home to lighten his mood? He is very sensitive.
. . .(sigh)
Thanks a lot, everyone,
Susan
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
I don't normally reply to this kind of question because there are so
many others more qualified to comment, with older boys and more
experience. However since you may have a time crunch I will make a small
suggestion, coming basically from "How to Talk So Your Kids Will
Listen.." and books/articles of that ilk.
It is this: Don't try to lighten his mood, that may not help him to
process his feelings. If he talks about how badly he feels, honor his
feelings by repeating back to him without judgment or comment. You know,
words like " you had a tough time" or "sounds like you feel pretty
shitty", without adding a "but.." of any kind. Feeling understood will
probably genuinely lighten his mood quicker than anything else would,
including minimizing the importance of the event itself.
Good luck.
Robyn Coburn
<< My husband just called and informed me he's bringing my son
home after
a "Field Day" that our community had at a local park. (I went for a
couple
of hours this morning, then had to come home.) He said our son, Conner,
is
"bummed," because he didn't get a single ribbon for excelling in any one
event. I, myself, couldn't care less. I just wanted him to get out in
the
fresh air and enjoy himself. But seems there were some competitions
that
were stiff and he is disappointed. Do you all have any suggestions on
what I
can say to him when he gets home to lighten his mood? He is very
sensitive. >>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
many others more qualified to comment, with older boys and more
experience. However since you may have a time crunch I will make a small
suggestion, coming basically from "How to Talk So Your Kids Will
Listen.." and books/articles of that ilk.
It is this: Don't try to lighten his mood, that may not help him to
process his feelings. If he talks about how badly he feels, honor his
feelings by repeating back to him without judgment or comment. You know,
words like " you had a tough time" or "sounds like you feel pretty
shitty", without adding a "but.." of any kind. Feeling understood will
probably genuinely lighten his mood quicker than anything else would,
including minimizing the importance of the event itself.
Good luck.
Robyn Coburn
<< My husband just called and informed me he's bringing my son
home after
a "Field Day" that our community had at a local park. (I went for a
couple
of hours this morning, then had to come home.) He said our son, Conner,
is
"bummed," because he didn't get a single ribbon for excelling in any one
event. I, myself, couldn't care less. I just wanted him to get out in
the
fresh air and enjoy himself. But seems there were some competitions
that
were stiff and he is disappointed. Do you all have any suggestions on
what I
can say to him when he gets home to lighten his mood? He is very
sensitive. >>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jmcseals SEALS
<<<"sounds like you feel pretty
shitty",>>>
I hate to do this on such a serious thread, but I just had to laugh when I
read this! If I said that to my kids, they'd have an instant mood change
and die laughing! I remember once when our daughter was having a hard time
with a friend. The kid was making fun of her and my husband told her (Our
daughter) to tell her friend to kiss her ass! I was stunned, don't get me
wrong, we can cuss with the best of them, but I really didn't think he'd say
something like that to her! Real kicker is she went and told her friend to
kiss her ass! Shut the kid up but the mom called, pretty upset. LOL My
dumb husband sat in the background telling me to tell HER to shut up and
kiss MY ass. I could hardly keep it together long enough to talk to her
on the phone!!
Jennifer
_________________________________________________________________
MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
shitty",>>>
I hate to do this on such a serious thread, but I just had to laugh when I
read this! If I said that to my kids, they'd have an instant mood change
and die laughing! I remember once when our daughter was having a hard time
with a friend. The kid was making fun of her and my husband told her (Our
daughter) to tell her friend to kiss her ass! I was stunned, don't get me
wrong, we can cuss with the best of them, but I really didn't think he'd say
something like that to her! Real kicker is she went and told her friend to
kiss her ass! Shut the kid up but the mom called, pretty upset. LOL My
dumb husband sat in the background telling me to tell HER to shut up and
kiss MY ass. I could hardly keep it together long enough to talk to her
on the phone!!
Jennifer
_________________________________________________________________
MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joanna514
The kid was making fun of her and my husband told her (Our
kid, he was assigned to sit next to on the bus, was picking on him.
The kid had whacked him on the shoulder with the back of his hand a
little to hard a few times and one day whacked him in the crotch.
When he told me this, I was livid. My dh then comes out and says, "
If he ever does that again just kick him in the balls and run like
hell". My kids just started rolling on the floor laughing at the
thought of it and the fact that my dh had said that.
I wanted to be mad at him for telling Sam to take that approach, but
everyone was laughing so hard that I just started laughing too.
Fortunately, he was moved away from this kid soon after.
Joanna
> daughter) to tell her friend to kiss her ass! I was stunned, don'tget me
> wrong, we can cuss with the best of them, but I really didn't thinkhe'd say
> something like that to her!<snip>
> JenniferThat reminded me of the time my son Sam was in Kindergarten and a big
>
kid, he was assigned to sit next to on the bus, was picking on him.
The kid had whacked him on the shoulder with the back of his hand a
little to hard a few times and one day whacked him in the crotch.
When he told me this, I was livid. My dh then comes out and says, "
If he ever does that again just kick him in the balls and run like
hell". My kids just started rolling on the floor laughing at the
thought of it and the fact that my dh had said that.
I wanted to be mad at him for telling Sam to take that approach, but
everyone was laughing so hard that I just started laughing too.
Fortunately, he was moved away from this kid soon after.
Joanna
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/9/03 3:31:40 PM, jmcseals@... writes:
<< Shut the kid up but the mom called, pretty upset. LOL My
dumb husband sat in the background telling me to tell HER to shut up and
kiss MY ass. >>
I would like to shake your husband's hand. <g>
<< Shut the kid up but the mom called, pretty upset. LOL My
dumb husband sat in the background telling me to tell HER to shut up and
kiss MY ass. >>
I would like to shake your husband's hand. <g>
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/9/03 3:09:37 PM, dezigna@... writes:
<< But seems there were some competitions
that
were stiff and he is disappointed. Do you all have any suggestions on
what I
can say to him when he gets home to lighten his mood? He is very
sensitive. >>
Let us know how it went. I'm probably too late.
I would distract the kid with something comforting. A movie, rent a video,
play a card game he likes, something different from what he was doing. And
the next day I would ask what he liked best about what happened. After some
time passes and the physical, biochemical components of the frustration and
the embarrassment and being tired and hungry (whatever all) are gone, he'll
probably be seeing the day in a better light.
Sandra
<< But seems there were some competitions
that
were stiff and he is disappointed. Do you all have any suggestions on
what I
can say to him when he gets home to lighten his mood? He is very
sensitive. >>
Let us know how it went. I'm probably too late.
I would distract the kid with something comforting. A movie, rent a video,
play a card game he likes, something different from what he was doing. And
the next day I would ask what he liked best about what happened. After some
time passes and the physical, biochemical components of the frustration and
the embarrassment and being tired and hungry (whatever all) are gone, he'll
probably be seeing the day in a better light.
Sandra
jmcseals SEALS
<<I would like to shake your husband's hand. <g>>>
Hehe, maybe you will in SC! Funny because he really enjoys things you say
as well. (I read or quote your emails to him a lot. <g>) I think you'd get
along splendidly. He's pretty opinionated and in your face. In a good way.
<bwg> My maternal family always tells me I definitely found the right man.
They are very quiet and reserved Episcopalians and we are the loud,
cantankerous, heathen agnostics. <g>
Jennifer
_________________________________________________________________
Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Hehe, maybe you will in SC! Funny because he really enjoys things you say
as well. (I read or quote your emails to him a lot. <g>) I think you'd get
along splendidly. He's pretty opinionated and in your face. In a good way.
<bwg> My maternal family always tells me I definitely found the right man.
They are very quiet and reserved Episcopalians and we are the loud,
cantankerous, heathen agnostics. <g>
Jennifer
_________________________________________________________________
Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
I am so happy to be coming to the conference, because my husband will
finally meet some unschooling fathers. (Actually that is about good
reason 55 that I am happy to be coming!) I don't have any other
unschoolers in my local group, although most are relaxed/eclectic or
unit studies type of folks. Even so, he has rarely met a father at Park
Day.
Robyn Coburn
<<Hehe, maybe you will in SC!>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
finally meet some unschooling fathers. (Actually that is about good
reason 55 that I am happy to be coming!) I don't have any other
unschoolers in my local group, although most are relaxed/eclectic or
unit studies type of folks. Even so, he has rarely met a father at Park
Day.
Robyn Coburn
<<Hehe, maybe you will in SC!>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]