affection was: moms doing what they want
Tammy
oh yes, I have those same feelings. Our children also love to see hubby and
I snuggle and be affectionate. They get warm and fuzzy and always want to
join in, so we usually end up piled up on each other..lol. That was never
the case with my own parents, they have rooms on opposite ends of the house
and I'm not sure why they stayed together (maybe didn't know otherwise). It
took quite a long time for me to show affection when I started dating and
having relationships (unhealthy ones, at that), then I met hubby and started
a family, somehow it became easier. I guess I wanted the children to see
that relationships opposite of the way I did as a child. tammy
-------Original Message-------
From: [email protected]
Date: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 20:56:01
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] moms doing what they want
For me, I love my time with the five of us all laying around, out to the
movies, beach , park ect but my dh and I just had this discussion the other
day about how refreshed and wonderful we both feel when we spend time alone
together for a walk even or just a quick night out. It restores my love for
him which is totally different than that of my children. Dont get me wrong
my love for my children is immeasurable but just different. I also feel more
connected to my children when I have taken care of some of my own interests
and when I have spent alone time with Gary. I think it shows my girls how
important and lovely a marriage can be. I look at my inlaws who totally just
live for my dh. They now sleep in seperate beds (have for 20 years) and have
no real relationship. My dh feels indebted to them and somehow it is so
difficult for him to leave his mother's nest because he is leaving her, who
lives for him. Anyway, I also think that it is equally important to spend
alone time with each individual child once in awhile too. Kelli
Tammy <qpwithcheese@...> wrote:I need times like that too, just to
be with me. I go shopping alone, when
hubby is home I sometimes lock up in my room or the bath with a book, or
talk on the phone to a good friend for a couple hours.. those things let me
come back in with a refreshed outlook. Although I can only be away 2 or 3
hours before I miss the kids terribly..<bg>
-------Original Message-------
From: [email protected]
Date: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 14:39:23
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] moms doing what they want
This post keeps calling me.
I've read it and read it again.
I can see it, but I can't "see" it.
Honest.
There's no "me" in there. Some one, maybe Charlotte Gilman called it a
Chinese closet' - a place that is yours - totally -
a place & time to grow & nurture the you that is the fundamental of you.
I walk w/o Brianna.
I walk our dog.
I will be going back to the gym - w/o Brianna.
I need things like that - things that I do totally w/ me and for me.
But - obviously, this works for you.....
That's great:)
Janis
I snuggle and be affectionate. They get warm and fuzzy and always want to
join in, so we usually end up piled up on each other..lol. That was never
the case with my own parents, they have rooms on opposite ends of the house
and I'm not sure why they stayed together (maybe didn't know otherwise). It
took quite a long time for me to show affection when I started dating and
having relationships (unhealthy ones, at that), then I met hubby and started
a family, somehow it became easier. I guess I wanted the children to see
that relationships opposite of the way I did as a child. tammy
-------Original Message-------
From: [email protected]
Date: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 20:56:01
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] moms doing what they want
For me, I love my time with the five of us all laying around, out to the
movies, beach , park ect but my dh and I just had this discussion the other
day about how refreshed and wonderful we both feel when we spend time alone
together for a walk even or just a quick night out. It restores my love for
him which is totally different than that of my children. Dont get me wrong
my love for my children is immeasurable but just different. I also feel more
connected to my children when I have taken care of some of my own interests
and when I have spent alone time with Gary. I think it shows my girls how
important and lovely a marriage can be. I look at my inlaws who totally just
live for my dh. They now sleep in seperate beds (have for 20 years) and have
no real relationship. My dh feels indebted to them and somehow it is so
difficult for him to leave his mother's nest because he is leaving her, who
lives for him. Anyway, I also think that it is equally important to spend
alone time with each individual child once in awhile too. Kelli
Tammy <qpwithcheese@...> wrote:I need times like that too, just to
be with me. I go shopping alone, when
hubby is home I sometimes lock up in my room or the bath with a book, or
talk on the phone to a good friend for a couple hours.. those things let me
come back in with a refreshed outlook. Although I can only be away 2 or 3
hours before I miss the kids terribly..<bg>
-------Original Message-------
From: [email protected]
Date: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 14:39:23
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] moms doing what they want
This post keeps calling me.
I've read it and read it again.
I can see it, but I can't "see" it.
Honest.
There's no "me" in there. Some one, maybe Charlotte Gilman called it a
Chinese closet' - a place that is yours - totally -
a place & time to grow & nurture the you that is the fundamental of you.
I walk w/o Brianna.
I walk our dog.
I will be going back to the gym - w/o Brianna.
I need things like that - things that I do totally w/ me and for me.
But - obviously, this works for you.....
That's great:)
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: Mary
To: Unschooling list
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 12:07 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] moms doing what they want
Well this was one recent post that caught my eye.
If someone were to ask me what I do for myself I would have to answer take
care of my family. That's really what I do.
After seeing that my children have all their needs met, making sure all the
pets have the same, my husband's needs and taking care of the house, I have
no time or energy for anything else. And I can honestly say I have no desire
to get out with friends or have an interest that is solely my own.
I don't go out with the girls. Our local homeschool group did a moms night
out. I never went. I have no desire in the evening to be away from my
children and my husband. Once in awhile I may take a trip to the grocery
store or Target without any children but that's it. My husband and I do
dinner or a movie alone maybe once or twice at the most in a month. It's
actually been about 2 months though since we did that. Everything we pretty
much do is with our children. Everything I pretty much do is with my
children. I never do any kind of tupperware or such parties because that
would take me away from my famliy to be with a bunch of women instead. Not
my idea of fun.
The only time I have been away from my children is when I had one and was in
the hospital, spent the night out briefly 2 Valentines days ago and went to
Chicago for Oprah with Tara. In 9 years, that's the extent of my away from
the children time. I get my grown up talk when my children meet with others
and I have their moms to talk with. I have this list that gets read when the
kids are eating or like right now, totally into playing with their hermit
crabs. I also stay up until 2 a.m. so I have plenty of time then to read the
news and check out this list or anything else on the web I'm searching for.
I get an occasional magazine to read once in awhile but mostly the new issue
is out before I've read the old one. I do vedge with my husband and a tv
show every so often but that's totally with the children either watching
with us or coming back and forth to interact. Movies that we only want to
watch alone are done after midnight on the weekends when the kids for the
most part are alseep.
I really am happy with the way things are. If our health holds up, my
husband and I will have plenty of time when the children won't want to hang
around us all the time. We'll have our alone time then. I see it already
with Tara. And if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I would have no regrets at
all as to how I parent.
Mary B
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