jmcseals SEALS

Kathryn,

This is a beautiful post!!! (No, not just because my love of Alaska is
mentioned either. <BG>) I just want to add that MY love of Alaska has
spilled over into my entire household. I actually DO all those things you
mentioned. It is my obsession. My husband rolls his eyes here and there,
hehe, but my family definitely KNOWS how much I love it. In turn, my kids
rush in to tell me everytime Alaska is on TV. They bring ME books at the
library, they tell me tidbits they have learned on their own about Alaska.
Because *I* love it so much, THEY want to gobble up every word associated
with it. My oldest daughter doesn't like the fact that it is so cold, so
she is hesitant to want to live there, but she "plans" trips with me, we
daydream about fun things to do there, fun things we DID there. She sees my
adoration and jumps right in to enjoy it with me. There is a fervent
'arctic air' in our house, brought on because of MY love of Alaska. I don't
force them to watch documentaries with me. I don't call family gatherings
to peruse every Alaskan book in our home. I don't throw Alaskan brochures
all over their rooms, hoping they, too will learn to love it. I just love
it fervently, completely and passionately and they can't help but want to
jump in on my dreams.

My children are unschooling ME! It is a beautiful thing!

Jennifer

Glena, this post kind of summed up to me why you seemed to be missing what
people are trying to tell you. And I really do believe it's just a matter of
that one little spark of "getting it" that hasn't happened yet, rather than
your not WANTING to get it.

The best way in the world to unschool, that I have seen, is to live your
life
beside your children and to support them in living their own. Someone
mentioned that it was unlikely that if Tiger Woods had kids that they
wouldn't more or less have golf in their blood. They might not be champions,
or even like it much....but being around someone who had a passion for it,
being part the culture of tournaments, etc...the child would Get Golf.
Likewise, lots of children of musicians become musicians, because music is
just a part of what they live with.

I think to unschool effectively means that we parents have to have lives and
interests. We have to have a passion for learning stuff, to like to do
stuff.
We CAN'T just do it for the kids. Then it becomes a sacrifice, which IS
about
us. Kids don't want us to sacrifice ourselves...that's leads to guilt.

My parents did not homeschool me (although my mom said it was too bad they
didn't know about that, because it would have been perfect for me), but in
their own way, they did kind of unschool us. They had interesting lives, and
we were always welcome to be there. If they had interesting folks over to
visit, we were never sent to our rooms -- we were welcomed into the
conversation.

When we had interests, we were always encouraged and supported in them, and
never told it was silly or impossible.

So, reading the above... I was a bit baffled. Sure, there's nothing wrong
with buying the brand of toilet paper your family likes -- but why are you
the only one who replaces the roll? (I can't remember how old your kids are,
but if there's a concern about algebra and med school, I assume they're not
3). If your child likes her linens sprayed with linen spray, why isn't it
next to her bed for HER to do it?

It's not that it isn't fine for you to have a couple of "Lovey Nurturey"
things you do for your family, but the impression I get is that these are
just the tip of the iceberg. I think the first thing you need to do is to
Get
a Life.

I don't mean that in a mean, nasty way. I mean that to model to kids that
there's a cool world of stuff to learn and experience, we need to DO it.
What
have YOU always wanted to learn or do? What are YOUR dreams? Someone here
mentioned that she'd love to live in Alaska, but it just isn't in the cards
for her family right now. But I bet she reads about it, watches
documentaries, and spend lots of time planning her next trips there. Her
kids
may never care about Alaska, but they'll see that Mom is a person with her
own dreams, and see how she gets tastes of Alaska in her life. They'll learn
how to apply that to their own lives.

So, I think maybe you DO need to do stuff that's about YOU, but not having
to
do with your kids. Most of us, particularly early in unschooling, have had
those panicked moments where we blow it. This is scary stuff! So we
apologize and move on. She may never like algebra. If she really wants to
get
to Med School, and it's a real dream for her, she'll figure out what she
needs to get there and do it.

My favorite unschooling book isn't about unschooling or even parenting at
all. It's called Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want, by Barbara
Sher.
I believe if we all just raised our kids that way everyone would be happier.

Kathryn


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In a message dated 29/04/2003 06:14:08 Pacific Daylight Time,
KathrynJB@... writes:


> The best way in the world to unschool, that I have seen, is to live your
> life
> beside your children and to support them in living their own

Kathryn, that was a great post, and I forwarded that to some friends that are
questioning unschooling possibilities. I have them reading at unschooling.com
and Sandra's articles, but that was great!
Nancy ,in BC


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