boys,drugs,and cussing!!long,,sorry
red2mickey
ok i have been debating with myself if i wonted to post this but
here i go anyways,,lol,,
i am fairly new to the unschool world but doing my best with it due
the fact i love itand even better my kids love it,but today we have
had a situation come up that i would like to hear your opions on and
how you wpould as unschoolers deal with it,ok.
my oldest son is 14,we have two phones in our house,1 cordless and 1
with a cord in my room,,well i could not find the cordless when i
wonted to use the phone and could not hear it beep when i paged it so
i went to my room to pick up the other phone to us it or if someone
maybe had the cordless to ask where the was with it and let me know
when they got off i needed it.ok,not is where it got ugly,as i picked
up the phone i heard a very lowd voice cussing and caring on,i mean
really nasty words,really nasty,i was may sons friends talking,just
as i realized this i was gonna speak but them my son started to
talk,rather began to cuss samew as this other boy was,within about
10 seconds or so i realized they was talking about drugs and was
planning to go sell to another boy,,my son said to the other boy well
you can if you wont to but you know i do not do that sh--,well the
drugs was the other kids,i hung up the phone,robert came from down
the hall way we meet in the hall way,i was in total shock after
fearing this,he did not even know i had heard,i ask him to get off
the phone well he did and wonted to know what was up,i confronted him
he was honest and said yes the boy had a bag of weed and wonted to
traid it to him for his ear ring,he told him no and the boy said he
would sell it to another guy,,ok now this other boy he is only 13,,he
stays at my home alot (all the time)his mom is single and if you find
here not drunk look out the sky just might be falling in,,not joking
that bad,,he only eats at school or my house,,angain not joking,he
was the one told me that just a few days ago when he called here at
midnight on a friday and wonted me to come get him,,she the mom had
been gone for 2 days and he did not wont to stay alone,,so i did,,its
became second nature to do this,,well anywaysrobert told me where the
druggs was and i called the boys mom,she went crazy on him calling
him every name in the nasty book telling him she was gonna call 911
and kick him out,,welli told her we would be right done there ,,only
1/4 mile from me,,she wonted the pot,,he would not tell here where it
was,,and robert said he would show her for me,,well my husband said
not no but hell no,,he would not let us go there,he said robert is to
stay here and we will think this over and deal with it tomoorow if
there is still a need to,let her deal with him and we deal with our
kid....this makes her mad that we would not come give it to her
rather show her where he had hinden it,,so she naturally was
drunk,starts saying my kid planeted it on them,,he has done all kinds
of crap at her house that she never told on him for and so
forth,,well i hung up on her sent my son to his room and i to mine
cause it was late at this point and i wonted time to think straigh
before i reacted to her,,i believe my son and told him so,,butt i am
very upset with his cussing,,so i feel if he has time to think it
over tonight and we talk it over tomorrow he will realize better what
he sound like cussing that way,,anyways sorry to ramble on,,can you
give my advise on how you would handle this,,,this is our first
experince with dealing with any issue about druggs so close to home,
regina
here i go anyways,,lol,,
i am fairly new to the unschool world but doing my best with it due
the fact i love itand even better my kids love it,but today we have
had a situation come up that i would like to hear your opions on and
how you wpould as unschoolers deal with it,ok.
my oldest son is 14,we have two phones in our house,1 cordless and 1
with a cord in my room,,well i could not find the cordless when i
wonted to use the phone and could not hear it beep when i paged it so
i went to my room to pick up the other phone to us it or if someone
maybe had the cordless to ask where the was with it and let me know
when they got off i needed it.ok,not is where it got ugly,as i picked
up the phone i heard a very lowd voice cussing and caring on,i mean
really nasty words,really nasty,i was may sons friends talking,just
as i realized this i was gonna speak but them my son started to
talk,rather began to cuss samew as this other boy was,within about
10 seconds or so i realized they was talking about drugs and was
planning to go sell to another boy,,my son said to the other boy well
you can if you wont to but you know i do not do that sh--,well the
drugs was the other kids,i hung up the phone,robert came from down
the hall way we meet in the hall way,i was in total shock after
fearing this,he did not even know i had heard,i ask him to get off
the phone well he did and wonted to know what was up,i confronted him
he was honest and said yes the boy had a bag of weed and wonted to
traid it to him for his ear ring,he told him no and the boy said he
would sell it to another guy,,ok now this other boy he is only 13,,he
stays at my home alot (all the time)his mom is single and if you find
here not drunk look out the sky just might be falling in,,not joking
that bad,,he only eats at school or my house,,angain not joking,he
was the one told me that just a few days ago when he called here at
midnight on a friday and wonted me to come get him,,she the mom had
been gone for 2 days and he did not wont to stay alone,,so i did,,its
became second nature to do this,,well anywaysrobert told me where the
druggs was and i called the boys mom,she went crazy on him calling
him every name in the nasty book telling him she was gonna call 911
and kick him out,,welli told her we would be right done there ,,only
1/4 mile from me,,she wonted the pot,,he would not tell here where it
was,,and robert said he would show her for me,,well my husband said
not no but hell no,,he would not let us go there,he said robert is to
stay here and we will think this over and deal with it tomoorow if
there is still a need to,let her deal with him and we deal with our
kid....this makes her mad that we would not come give it to her
rather show her where he had hinden it,,so she naturally was
drunk,starts saying my kid planeted it on them,,he has done all kinds
of crap at her house that she never told on him for and so
forth,,well i hung up on her sent my son to his room and i to mine
cause it was late at this point and i wonted time to think straigh
before i reacted to her,,i believe my son and told him so,,butt i am
very upset with his cussing,,so i feel if he has time to think it
over tonight and we talk it over tomorrow he will realize better what
he sound like cussing that way,,anyways sorry to ramble on,,can you
give my advise on how you would handle this,,,this is our first
experince with dealing with any issue about druggs so close to home,
regina
[email protected]
I wouldn't have made a big deal about the cussing
and I would not have called a drunk to tell on a kid.
I wouldn't have made a kid get off the phone (unless I had an emergency call
to make). It sounds like your son was handling it fine, saying he didn't
want drugs. That's good, isn't it? Yet he was yelled at and made to involve
himself in getting someone else in what could become some very serious
trouble.
If the other boy hangs out, you could have talked to him directly. Why
involve his mom? She will be no help whatsoever.
When I'm making a decision about what to do or say with teenagers (I have
two) I always try to think about NOT being my mom (who was a drunk too; still
is), and I try to do what will make my relationship with my son better and
stronger.
If your priority is to have a son who never says bad words, it might be a
little late. <g>
Even kids who go to strict churches, though, often use really bad language
sometimes just to do it. They'll do it less if the mom isn't freaking than
if she is. OR they'll be sneaky.
My kids act the same way around adults as around kids. The undoubtedly use
rougher language than some people would like. But they don't use even
rougher language behind the house.
If people will be punished for doing something they'll learn to be sneaky.
There are reasons not to use nasty language and there are good reasons not to
use drugs, but just fear of punishment is insufficient. They need sensible,
real reasons, presented rationally.
Sandra
and I would not have called a drunk to tell on a kid.
I wouldn't have made a kid get off the phone (unless I had an emergency call
to make). It sounds like your son was handling it fine, saying he didn't
want drugs. That's good, isn't it? Yet he was yelled at and made to involve
himself in getting someone else in what could become some very serious
trouble.
If the other boy hangs out, you could have talked to him directly. Why
involve his mom? She will be no help whatsoever.
When I'm making a decision about what to do or say with teenagers (I have
two) I always try to think about NOT being my mom (who was a drunk too; still
is), and I try to do what will make my relationship with my son better and
stronger.
If your priority is to have a son who never says bad words, it might be a
little late. <g>
Even kids who go to strict churches, though, often use really bad language
sometimes just to do it. They'll do it less if the mom isn't freaking than
if she is. OR they'll be sneaky.
My kids act the same way around adults as around kids. The undoubtedly use
rougher language than some people would like. But they don't use even
rougher language behind the house.
If people will be punished for doing something they'll learn to be sneaky.
There are reasons not to use nasty language and there are good reasons not to
use drugs, but just fear of punishment is insufficient. They need sensible,
real reasons, presented rationally.
Sandra
regina hogan
I wouldn't have made a big deal about the cussing
and I would not have called a drunk to tell on a kid.
(i did not make a big deal out of it,i was in shock just hearing it from him,i did not say i was ashamded or suches to him,i replied to him that he not us that language in our home as a respect issue and said ok moma,sorry ,i said do not say sorry to me son,i just ask you to respect our home and others you do not have to say sorry but thank you for being pilite about it with me.)
I wouldn't have made a kid get off the phone (unless I had an emergency call
to make). It sounds like your son was handling it fine, saying he didn't
want drugs. That's good, isn't it?
(yes that made my very proud of him,but again i did not say that because i wont him turn them away from his choices not to please me.)
Yet he was yelled at and made to involve
himself in getting someone else in what could become some very serious
trouble.
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself so i was gonna let him but dad stepped in the way and would not let me take him there,)
If the other boy hangs out, you could have talked to him directly. Why
involve his mom? She will be no help whatsoever.
(well i did try to talk to him but he hung up on me,and yes i was not thinking clearly about calling his mom,i was just doing what i would hope someone would do for me if my son had been using and saling drug,let me know so i could maybe get him help to learn to say no for himself and learn more on the issue.,but again,i regretted that 5 minutes after i did it,,)
When I'm making a decision about what to do or If your priority is to have a son who never says bad words, it might be a
little late. <g>
(no that is not at all my priority,mine is to have a happy son,and seems to be to me just that.)
If people will be punished for doing something they'll learn to be sneaky.
(that is so true,thats why i am using the skills i have learned myself in our unschooling to not freak out and think before i speak,that is why i did not punish him in any way tonight ovewr this,i went to my room to think and he went to his room,well he went to his room because he wonted to us the phone more so not sure what he did once the door closed,,lol,,i did say to him i would like to talk more about it tomoorow,the subject being the other boy.to see if robert and i can come up with away to help him out since he true has noboby there for him,robert agreed and we gonna give our thoughts to eacg other tomorrow sometime)
There are reasons not to use nasty language and there are good reasons not to
use drugs, but just fear of punishment is insufficient. They need sensible,
real reasons, presented rationally.
(this also is true,that why i did not know how to present this to the other boy so i needed time over night with roberts help to work on it,my son ,lol,,he does not fear punishment ,due the fact i do not punish them,i listen to them,give advise when its ask for and until tonight have not hand to step into anything other than that,so i just wondered how others would deal with it and hope i could use their ways maybe..)
thank you for your reply!!!!!!!
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
and I would not have called a drunk to tell on a kid.
(i did not make a big deal out of it,i was in shock just hearing it from him,i did not say i was ashamded or suches to him,i replied to him that he not us that language in our home as a respect issue and said ok moma,sorry ,i said do not say sorry to me son,i just ask you to respect our home and others you do not have to say sorry but thank you for being pilite about it with me.)
I wouldn't have made a kid get off the phone (unless I had an emergency call
to make). It sounds like your son was handling it fine, saying he didn't
want drugs. That's good, isn't it?
(yes that made my very proud of him,but again i did not say that because i wont him turn them away from his choices not to please me.)
Yet he was yelled at and made to involve
himself in getting someone else in what could become some very serious
trouble.
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself so i was gonna let him but dad stepped in the way and would not let me take him there,)
If the other boy hangs out, you could have talked to him directly. Why
involve his mom? She will be no help whatsoever.
(well i did try to talk to him but he hung up on me,and yes i was not thinking clearly about calling his mom,i was just doing what i would hope someone would do for me if my son had been using and saling drug,let me know so i could maybe get him help to learn to say no for himself and learn more on the issue.,but again,i regretted that 5 minutes after i did it,,)
When I'm making a decision about what to do or If your priority is to have a son who never says bad words, it might be a
little late. <g>
(no that is not at all my priority,mine is to have a happy son,and seems to be to me just that.)
If people will be punished for doing something they'll learn to be sneaky.
(that is so true,thats why i am using the skills i have learned myself in our unschooling to not freak out and think before i speak,that is why i did not punish him in any way tonight ovewr this,i went to my room to think and he went to his room,well he went to his room because he wonted to us the phone more so not sure what he did once the door closed,,lol,,i did say to him i would like to talk more about it tomoorow,the subject being the other boy.to see if robert and i can come up with away to help him out since he true has noboby there for him,robert agreed and we gonna give our thoughts to eacg other tomorrow sometime)
There are reasons not to use nasty language and there are good reasons not to
use drugs, but just fear of punishment is insufficient. They need sensible,
real reasons, presented rationally.
(this also is true,that why i did not know how to present this to the other boy so i needed time over night with roberts help to work on it,my son ,lol,,he does not fear punishment ,due the fact i do not punish them,i listen to them,give advise when its ask for and until tonight have not hand to step into anything other than that,so i just wondered how others would deal with it and hope i could use their ways maybe..)
thank you for your reply!!!!!!!
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
---------------------------------
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The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
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coyote's corner
I don't think you should have stayed on the phne. Ii my experience, it's hard to listen in on someones converstaion - you have to be really quiet and know what you're doing.
I would have let them know I was hearing this.
You ratted this p[oor kid out - over pot??
There are those of us (myself included) that do not consider pot as bad as beer.
This poor kid got it going and coming.
Janis
I would have let them know I was hearing this.
You ratted this p[oor kid out - over pot??
There are those of us (myself included) that do not consider pot as bad as beer.
This poor kid got it going and coming.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: treegoddess@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 10:15 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] boys,drugs,and cussing!!long,,sorry
Eeek! Well, since you asked, my take on this situation is that your son was handling it just fine without your intervention. Ratting the boy out to his loser parent was probably the worst thing you could have done IMO because the boy thought of your home as his safe place now he probably feels that he's not safe with you either.
Do NOT encourage that your son show anyone where the pot is. It's not his business and I see it as being made to "prove" (in his mind) that he's a "good" boy. I hope that made sense.
As far as the cussing goes..... why do you care??? He wasn't saying anything to YOU and "sh!t" is hardly a word to get worked up over. LOL Besides, do you think that his friend would even hear him if your son talked like Mr. Rodgers or something? ;) He's talking in 13yo-boy-ese. Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you're likely to push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
Peace,
TreeGoddess
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[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/2003 9:20:06 AM Central Daylight Time,
treegoddess@... writes:
I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them. Not long ago I
offered Will (9) a chance to go somewhere where no one could hear us, and
scream out all the cuss words we could think of as many times as we wanted.
He didn't take me up on it, because he was kind of shocked at the suggestion.
He began to see them in a new light. We got to talk a lot about what words
that are appropriate in a given situation. I told him he could get them all
out any time he wanted, just to let me know and I'd clear a path for him. It
seems like they hold a special fascination for kids around this age. They
think about them and hear other people say them, and eventually they're using
them when adults aren't around. It's like a dirty little secret. I say
bring it out in the light of day, and let them taste the words and feel and
hear them in their own voice Take all the sting out of them.
The other day he said he was being spun on a swing by the neighbor kids (12
and 11) and he was so excited and enthralled he said shhhhhhhhhhh.....it! I
know it was about impressing the older boys, but I had to warn him about what
those older boys' mother's reactions would be if they heard him saying that
in front of their 3 yo sister. With 4 adults in our house, Will's heard them
all anyway. I will not shame him if I hear one out of his mouth.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
treegoddess@... writes:
> As far as the cussing goes..... why do you care??? He wasn't sayingGreat advice.
> anything to YOU and "sh!t" is hardly a word to get worked up over. LOL
> Besides, do you think that his friend would even hear him if your son
> talked like Mr. Rodgers or something? ;) He's talking in 13yo-boy-ese.
> Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you're likely to
> push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
>
I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them. Not long ago I
offered Will (9) a chance to go somewhere where no one could hear us, and
scream out all the cuss words we could think of as many times as we wanted.
He didn't take me up on it, because he was kind of shocked at the suggestion.
He began to see them in a new light. We got to talk a lot about what words
that are appropriate in a given situation. I told him he could get them all
out any time he wanted, just to let me know and I'd clear a path for him. It
seems like they hold a special fascination for kids around this age. They
think about them and hear other people say them, and eventually they're using
them when adults aren't around. It's like a dirty little secret. I say
bring it out in the light of day, and let them taste the words and feel and
hear them in their own voice Take all the sting out of them.
The other day he said he was being spun on a swing by the neighbor kids (12
and 11) and he was so excited and enthralled he said shhhhhhhhhhh.....it! I
know it was about impressing the older boys, but I had to warn him about what
those older boys' mother's reactions would be if they heard him saying that
in front of their 3 yo sister. With 4 adults in our house, Will's heard them
all anyway. I will not shame him if I hear one out of his mouth.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/03 1:03:07 AM, red2mickey@... writes:
<<
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my
kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him
that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now
and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy
told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself
Sandra
<<
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my
kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him
that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now
and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy
told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself
>>Sorry I misunderstood.
Sandra
Heidi
we've had a "say whatever words you want" policy at our house for a
few years. My 15 year old girl is much the swearer of the family. WE
do try to keep it within the family, though. But isn't that the way
it should be? Be yourself, even if it includes using Anglo-saxon
bodily function words ;), at HOME with the FAMILY. What else, if you
want your kids to feel fully accepted?
peace, HeidiC
few years. My 15 year old girl is much the swearer of the family. WE
do try to keep it within the family, though. But isn't that the way
it should be? Be yourself, even if it includes using Anglo-saxon
bodily function words ;), at HOME with the FAMILY. What else, if you
want your kids to feel fully accepted?
peace, HeidiC
> > Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you'relikely to
> > push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
> >
>
> Great advice.
>
> I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them.
regina hogan
"treegoddess@..." <treegoddess@...> wrote:
Eeek! Well, since you asked, my take on this situation is that your son was handling it just fine without your intervention. Ratting the boy out to his loser parent was probably the worst thing you could have done IMO because the boy thought of your home as his safe place now he probably feels that he's not safe with you either.
*****i agree that was not a good thing to do calling his mom,ok yet me say i am not perfect..lol..i have learned from this experience when doing so,its not a thing i will ever do again,
Do NOT encourage that your son show anyone where the pot is. It's not his business and I see it as being made to "prove" (in his mind) that he's a "good" boy. I hope that made sense.
***yes now that i think of it you are right it probly was his way of proving to someone he is good,but i guess he felt he need to prove to the other lady(because she and her son was blaming it on him,i point blank told her i did not believe her for a minute,i believe my kid over others,she did not like that to begin with,)i say that because he new i believed him the whole time,and he had nothing to prove to me.
As far as the cussing goes..... why do you care??? He wasn't saying anything to YOU and "sh!t" is hardly a word to get worked up over. LOL Besides, do you think that his friend would even hear him if your son talked like Mr. Rodgers or something? ;) He's talking in 13yo-boy-ese. Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you're likely to push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
******i agree sh-- it not a word to get worked up over,and that was the small word they was using..lol..the other words i think would have made a one eyed drunk sailor blush..lol..really the only thing though was a big disrespect was using god name in vain,and by the way my son did not,and the words used to describe a girl they know,(i do not mean to be offensive )she was describer as a bit-- with a sloppy pu---,and this is the other kids girlfriend,i was proud my son has more respect for girls than that kids does apparently,but it shocked my to hear the kid say things like that.and no i did not give hima hard time ,i just ask him to have his friends respect our home with their words and he said sorry moma and he told me the boy does not do girls like he does,he said i respect them but he just uses them,,i laughed and said ok robert that is good to know and i walked away..lol
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Eeek! Well, since you asked, my take on this situation is that your son was handling it just fine without your intervention. Ratting the boy out to his loser parent was probably the worst thing you could have done IMO because the boy thought of your home as his safe place now he probably feels that he's not safe with you either.
*****i agree that was not a good thing to do calling his mom,ok yet me say i am not perfect..lol..i have learned from this experience when doing so,its not a thing i will ever do again,
Do NOT encourage that your son show anyone where the pot is. It's not his business and I see it as being made to "prove" (in his mind) that he's a "good" boy. I hope that made sense.
***yes now that i think of it you are right it probly was his way of proving to someone he is good,but i guess he felt he need to prove to the other lady(because she and her son was blaming it on him,i point blank told her i did not believe her for a minute,i believe my kid over others,she did not like that to begin with,)i say that because he new i believed him the whole time,and he had nothing to prove to me.
As far as the cussing goes..... why do you care??? He wasn't saying anything to YOU and "sh!t" is hardly a word to get worked up over. LOL Besides, do you think that his friend would even hear him if your son talked like Mr. Rodgers or something? ;) He's talking in 13yo-boy-ese. Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you're likely to push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
******i agree sh-- it not a word to get worked up over,and that was the small word they was using..lol..the other words i think would have made a one eyed drunk sailor blush..lol..really the only thing though was a big disrespect was using god name in vain,and by the way my son did not,and the words used to describe a girl they know,(i do not mean to be offensive )she was describer as a bit-- with a sloppy pu---,and this is the other kids girlfriend,i was proud my son has more respect for girls than that kids does apparently,but it shocked my to hear the kid say things like that.and no i did not give hima hard time ,i just ask him to have his friends respect our home with their words and he said sorry moma and he told me the boy does not do girls like he does,he said i respect them but he just uses them,,i laughed and said ok robert that is good to know and i walked away..lol
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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regina hogan
thats fine,i now you was not being mean,,,lol,,it probly sounded like when i said i was in shock over this that i went crazy but that was not the case..i just wonted to let you know that i did not ,and here we are the next day and neither he nor i have said a word about it,i feel he will come to me if he wonts to and if not then the subject will be dropped,after all he knows he and are fine,and that i will stand behind any decision he choices to make ,if its to stay away from the kid,,,try to help the boy learn more about the drugs so that he can make better choices,,or simple drop the issue all together,,robert is a very smart and strong willed kid,i trust him fully.
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/29/03 1:03:07 AM, red2mickey@... writes:
<<
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my
kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him
that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now
and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy
told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself
Sandra
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/29/03 1:03:07 AM, red2mickey@... writes:
<<
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my
kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him
that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now
and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy
told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself
>>Sorry I misunderstood.
Sandra
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regina hogan
i think at that,here is where we would just have to agree to disagree...lol..the be their self i agree with you ,,the free cussing at will i do not,,in my opion its a matter of what words your using and if you can hurt other people by using them,therefore it comes down to which words you us,,,
Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@...> wrote:we've had a "say whatever words you want" policy at our house for a
few years. My 15 year old girl is much the swearer of the family. WE
do try to keep it within the family, though. But isn't that the way
it should be? Be yourself, even if it includes using Anglo-saxon
bodily function words ;), at HOME with the FAMILY. What else, if you
want your kids to feel fully accepted?
peace, HeidiC
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@...> wrote:we've had a "say whatever words you want" policy at our house for a
few years. My 15 year old girl is much the swearer of the family. WE
do try to keep it within the family, though. But isn't that the way
it should be? Be yourself, even if it includes using Anglo-saxon
bodily function words ;), at HOME with the FAMILY. What else, if you
want your kids to feel fully accepted?
peace, HeidiC
> > Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you'relikely to
> > push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> >
>
> Great advice.
>
> I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them.
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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regina hogan
coyote's corner <jana@...> wrote:
I don't think you should have stayed on the phne. Ii my experience, it's hard to listen in on someones converstaion - you have to be really quiet and know what you're doing.
*****thats true i should have hung up but i did not..lol...i was not being quit,if memery severs well i said what,oh my ,,several times i a normal voice,,and then i hung up to leave the room and find him and let him know i had heard this stuff .
I would have let them know I was hearing this.
****i did let him know,,i was not being sneaky,,
You ratted this p[oor kid out - over pot??
There are those of us (myself included) that do not consider pot as bad as beer.
***yes i did,,everyone has an opion and that is not mine but i respect your opion,,i think all drugs beer,wine,liqour,weed,,the illegal ones else wise are not good for any one...
This poor kid got it going and coming.
****yes he did,,,and i hope some where in the mix of this happening that he things over choices he made and may still make and learns from them.
Janis
I don't think you should have stayed on the phne. Ii my experience, it's hard to listen in on someones converstaion - you have to be really quiet and know what you're doing.
*****thats true i should have hung up but i did not..lol...i was not being quit,if memery severs well i said what,oh my ,,several times i a normal voice,,and then i hung up to leave the room and find him and let him know i had heard this stuff .
I would have let them know I was hearing this.
****i did let him know,,i was not being sneaky,,
You ratted this p[oor kid out - over pot??
There are those of us (myself included) that do not consider pot as bad as beer.
***yes i did,,everyone has an opion and that is not mine but i respect your opion,,i think all drugs beer,wine,liqour,weed,,the illegal ones else wise are not good for any one...
This poor kid got it going and coming.
****yes he did,,,and i hope some where in the mix of this happening that he things over choices he made and may still make and learns from them.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: treegoddess@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 10:15 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] boys,drugs,and cussing!!long,,sorry
Eeek! Well, since you asked, my take on this situation is that your son was handling it just fine without your intervention. Ratting the boy out to his loser parent was probably the worst thing you could have done IMO because the boy thought of your home as his safe place now he probably feels that he's not safe with you either.
Do NOT encourage that your son show anyone where the pot is. It's not his business and I see it as being made to "prove" (in his mind) that he's a "good" boy. I hope that made sense.
As far as the cussing goes..... why do you care??? He wasn't saying anything to YOU and "sh!t" is hardly a word to get worked up over. LOL Besides, do you think that his friend would even hear him if your son talked like Mr. Rodgers or something? ;) He's talking in 13yo-boy-ese. Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you're likely to push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
Peace,
TreeGoddess
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/03 2:11:56 PM, red2mickey@... writes:
<< ,in my opion its a matter of what words your using and if you can hurt
other people by using them,therefore it comes down to which words you us,,, >>
We own lots of tools. Ten hammers. Lots of hoes and shovels and stuff.
My kids could hurt other people with them, but not one of them ever has.
We have a hatchet near the fireplace. One time Holly did pick it up and run
with it. But we didn't banish it from the house, we talked to her about
safety.
My kids have had free run of English, and there are words they know that they
have never spoken. There are words they know that they will use to quote
someone or use in the course of making a joke, but that they would no more
hurt another person with than they would take a shovel off the wall and hit
them in the head.
Banishing spinning wheels from the kingdom didn't save Sleeping Beauty.
Banishing "language" only makes the world smaller.
Sandra
<< ,in my opion its a matter of what words your using and if you can hurt
other people by using them,therefore it comes down to which words you us,,, >>
We own lots of tools. Ten hammers. Lots of hoes and shovels and stuff.
My kids could hurt other people with them, but not one of them ever has.
We have a hatchet near the fireplace. One time Holly did pick it up and run
with it. But we didn't banish it from the house, we talked to her about
safety.
My kids have had free run of English, and there are words they know that they
have never spoken. There are words they know that they will use to quote
someone or use in the course of making a joke, but that they would no more
hurt another person with than they would take a shovel off the wall and hit
them in the head.
Banishing spinning wheels from the kingdom didn't save Sleeping Beauty.
Banishing "language" only makes the world smaller.
Sandra
kbolden
>>>>>i point blank told her i did not believe her for a minute,i believe my kid over others<<<<Good for you!
As a teen, I had a lot of "questionable" friends :-P ... kids who drank or got high or had sex (this was the 70's and I was a GOOD girl hehehe). I never did that stuff myself, and my mom always believed me. She was very honest about her opinions of my friends, but she would always finish by saying " ... but I trust your judgment about it."
Many of my friends were afraid of/disgusted with their parents. I never had those feelings. Even if we had a big, serious argument (which we did!), even if things *looked* bad, I knew my mother's faith in me could not be shaken.
It was a great gift.
Kay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heidi
--- In [email protected], regina hogan
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
at will i do not,,in my opion its a matter of what words your using
and if you can hurt other people by using them,therefore it comes
down to which words you us,,,
The reason we have this policy is so that our kids will feel free to
communicate openly about everything in their lives. there isn't MUCH
swearing, anyway, but I use the "s" word and once in awhile, say
the "f" word. We don't call each other names. In fact, we frown upon
glaring daggers at each other, much preferring to talk than glare or
heave a sigh and mope or roll eyeballs. If something is bugging a kid
enough to make her glare at me, I'd rather she SAID "You interrupted
me" or whatever, than just get a disgusted angry look on her face and
say nothing.
As for "free cussing at will" L sounds like a potty-mouth fest but it
isn't. I just don't forbid them to use those words around me. I'd
rather have them say it in my hearing, than save it only for their
friends, presenting me with a facade.
HeidiC
owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@h...).
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
> i think at that,here is where we would just have to agree todisagree...lol..the be their self i agree with you ,,the free cussing
at will i do not,,in my opion its a matter of what words your using
and if you can hurt other people by using them,therefore it comes
down to which words you us,,,
The reason we have this policy is so that our kids will feel free to
communicate openly about everything in their lives. there isn't MUCH
swearing, anyway, but I use the "s" word and once in awhile, say
the "f" word. We don't call each other names. In fact, we frown upon
glaring daggers at each other, much preferring to talk than glare or
heave a sigh and mope or roll eyeballs. If something is bugging a kid
enough to make her glare at me, I'd rather she SAID "You interrupted
me" or whatever, than just get a disgusted angry look on her face and
say nothing.
As for "free cussing at will" L sounds like a potty-mouth fest but it
isn't. I just don't forbid them to use those words around me. I'd
rather have them say it in my hearing, than save it only for their
friends, presenting me with a facade.
HeidiC
>you want" policy at our house for a
> Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@h...> wrote:we've had a "say whatever words
> few years. My 15 year old girl is much the swearer of the family.WE
> do try to keep it within the family, though. But isn't that the wayyou
> it should be? Be yourself, even if it includes using Anglo-saxon
> bodily function words ;), at HOME with the FAMILY. What else, if
> want your kids to feel fully accepted?~~~~
>
> peace, HeidiC
>
>
>
> > > Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you're
> likely to
> > > push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
> > >
> >
> > Great advice.
> >
> > I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them.
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line!
>email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@e...), or the list
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please
owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@h...).
>address an email to:
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or
> [email protected]Service.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
>august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
> regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
>
> ,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since
>
> http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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> The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/03 5:38:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kbolden@... writes:
My best friend got pregnant in high school. I went with her to the Dr
when she found out she was pregnant We came back to my house and went in my
bedroom. My mom came and gently knocked on the door. I let her in and she
asked what was wrong. My friend ( and I , too) was crying. I didn't
hesitate for a minute.. I said.. "Dawn's going to have a baby" Moma teared
up too and she sat down on the bed and hugged Dawn, and said, "oh,
sweetheart, it's going to be OK". We all had a good cry, and Dawn asked Moma
if she would call in to her work to tell them she was sick. Mom did it.
That was it. No lecture to me, no warnings of "dont hang arond her" The
extent of Mom's input about the situation was to ask me how Dawn was doing
and to talk to me about how I felt about it and how it affected Dawn. Never
a passing of judgement or a waiver of trust in me. How wonderful
Dawn had a good mother too, but she was still scared to tell her she was
pregnant. She didnt tell her family til she was 4 months along, and by then,
her mom had figured it out herself. They didn't "punish" or "disown" her or
anything like that.. They supported her and helped her didn't demand that she
marry her boyfriend. But, her boyfriends parents said, ABORTION or
MARRIAGE! Thier son was not going to have a bastard child. So, they got
married and spent 10 years in a terrible marriage til they got divorced.
Well, I rambled as usual. sorry.. I can never keep it short
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kbolden@... writes:
> Many of my friends were afraid of/disgusted with their parents. I never hadThis sounds so similar to my own childhood ( teens).
> those feelings. Even if we had a big, serious argument (which we did!),
> even if things *looked* bad, I knew my mother's faith in me could not be
> shaken.
>
> It was a great gift.
>
> Kay
>
My best friend got pregnant in high school. I went with her to the Dr
when she found out she was pregnant We came back to my house and went in my
bedroom. My mom came and gently knocked on the door. I let her in and she
asked what was wrong. My friend ( and I , too) was crying. I didn't
hesitate for a minute.. I said.. "Dawn's going to have a baby" Moma teared
up too and she sat down on the bed and hugged Dawn, and said, "oh,
sweetheart, it's going to be OK". We all had a good cry, and Dawn asked Moma
if she would call in to her work to tell them she was sick. Mom did it.
That was it. No lecture to me, no warnings of "dont hang arond her" The
extent of Mom's input about the situation was to ask me how Dawn was doing
and to talk to me about how I felt about it and how it affected Dawn. Never
a passing of judgement or a waiver of trust in me. How wonderful
Dawn had a good mother too, but she was still scared to tell her she was
pregnant. She didnt tell her family til she was 4 months along, and by then,
her mom had figured it out herself. They didn't "punish" or "disown" her or
anything like that.. They supported her and helped her didn't demand that she
marry her boyfriend. But, her boyfriends parents said, ABORTION or
MARRIAGE! Thier son was not going to have a bastard child. So, they got
married and spent 10 years in a terrible marriage til they got divorced.
Well, I rambled as usual. sorry.. I can never keep it short
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
coyote's corner
me too.
I totally mis-understood. I apologize.
Janis
I totally mis-understood. I apologize.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 1:02 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] boys,drugs,and cussing!!long,,sorry
In a message dated 4/29/03 1:03:07 AM, red2mickey@... writes:
<<
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my
kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him
that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now
and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy
told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself
>>
Sorry I misunderstood.
Sandra
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
regina hogan
lol..i like your example,nicely put,,and you are right in your own opion that is,and that is what i ask for others opions of the situation and what their thoughts was so thank you i have really enjoyed hearing the differant views and hope i have not been offensive to any one ,if so i am sorry,i do not try to under mind any ones owns opion same as i do not let them under mind my own,again i love your example..cheers
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/29/03 2:11:56 PM, red2mickey@... writes:
<< ,in my opion its a matter of what words your using and if you can hurt
other people by using them,therefore it comes down to which words you us,,, >>
We own lots of tools. Ten hammers. Lots of hoes and shovels and stuff.
My kids could hurt other people with them, but not one of them ever has.
We have a hatchet near the fireplace. One time Holly did pick it up and run
with it. But we didn't banish it from the house, we talked to her about
safety.
My kids have had free run of English, and there are words they know that they
have never spoken. There are words they know that they will use to quote
someone or use in the course of making a joke, but that they would no more
hurt another person with than they would take a shovel off the wall and hit
them in the head.
Banishing spinning wheels from the kingdom didn't save Sleeping Beauty.
Banishing "language" only makes the world smaller.
Sandra
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/29/03 2:11:56 PM, red2mickey@... writes:
<< ,in my opion its a matter of what words your using and if you can hurt
other people by using them,therefore it comes down to which words you us,,, >>
We own lots of tools. Ten hammers. Lots of hoes and shovels and stuff.
My kids could hurt other people with them, but not one of them ever has.
We have a hatchet near the fireplace. One time Holly did pick it up and run
with it. But we didn't banish it from the house, we talked to her about
safety.
My kids have had free run of English, and there are words they know that they
have never spoken. There are words they know that they will use to quote
someone or use in the course of making a joke, but that they would no more
hurt another person with than they would take a shovel off the wall and hit
them in the head.
Banishing spinning wheels from the kingdom didn't save Sleeping Beauty.
Banishing "language" only makes the world smaller.
Sandra
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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regina hogan
thank you .the trust and faith i give to my kids is the best gift a think a mother can give her kids..
kbolden <kbolden@...> wrote:>>>>>i point blank told her i did not believe her for a minute,i believe my kid over others<<<<
Good for you!
As a teen, I had a lot of "questionable" friends :-P ... kids who drank or got high or had sex (this was the 70's and I was a GOOD girl hehehe). I never did that stuff myself, and my mom always believed me. She was very honest about her opinions of my friends, but she would always finish by saying " ... but I trust your judgment about it."
Many of my friends were afraid of/disgusted with their parents. I never had those feelings. Even if we had a big, serious argument (which we did!), even if things *looked* bad, I knew my mother's faith in me could not be shaken.
It was a great gift.
Kay
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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kbolden <kbolden@...> wrote:>>>>>i point blank told her i did not believe her for a minute,i believe my kid over others<<<<
Good for you!
As a teen, I had a lot of "questionable" friends :-P ... kids who drank or got high or had sex (this was the 70's and I was a GOOD girl hehehe). I never did that stuff myself, and my mom always believed me. She was very honest about her opinions of my friends, but she would always finish by saying " ... but I trust your judgment about it."
Many of my friends were afraid of/disgusted with their parents. I never had those feelings. Even if we had a big, serious argument (which we did!), even if things *looked* bad, I knew my mother's faith in me could not be shaken.
It was a great gift.
Kay
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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regina hogan
that sounds great that you have that opened up relationship with your kids,same as i do mine,the world would be a better place if all parents could be this way,would you not agree?
Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@...> wrote:--- In [email protected], regina hogan
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
at will i do not,,in my opion its a matter of what words your using
and if you can hurt other people by using them,therefore it comes
down to which words you us,,,
The reason we have this policy is so that our kids will feel free to
communicate openly about everything in their lives. there isn't MUCH
swearing, anyway, but I use the "s" word and once in awhile, say
the "f" word. We don't call each other names. In fact, we frown upon
glaring daggers at each other, much preferring to talk than glare or
heave a sigh and mope or roll eyeballs. If something is bugging a kid
enough to make her glare at me, I'd rather she SAID "You interrupted
me" or whatever, than just get a disgusted angry look on her face and
say nothing.
As for "free cussing at will" L sounds like a potty-mouth fest but it
isn't. I just don't forbid them to use those words around me. I'd
rather have them say it in my hearing, than save it only for their
friends, presenting me with a facade.
HeidiC
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@...> wrote:--- In [email protected], regina hogan
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
> i think at that,here is where we would just have to agree todisagree...lol..the be their self i agree with you ,,the free cussing
at will i do not,,in my opion its a matter of what words your using
and if you can hurt other people by using them,therefore it comes
down to which words you us,,,
The reason we have this policy is so that our kids will feel free to
communicate openly about everything in their lives. there isn't MUCH
swearing, anyway, but I use the "s" word and once in awhile, say
the "f" word. We don't call each other names. In fact, we frown upon
glaring daggers at each other, much preferring to talk than glare or
heave a sigh and mope or roll eyeballs. If something is bugging a kid
enough to make her glare at me, I'd rather she SAID "You interrupted
me" or whatever, than just get a disgusted angry look on her face and
say nothing.
As for "free cussing at will" L sounds like a potty-mouth fest but it
isn't. I just don't forbid them to use those words around me. I'd
rather have them say it in my hearing, than save it only for their
friends, presenting me with a facade.
HeidiC
>you want" policy at our house for a
> Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@h...> wrote:we've had a "say whatever words
> few years. My 15 year old girl is much the swearer of the family.WE
> do try to keep it within the family, though. But isn't that the wayyou
> it should be? Be yourself, even if it includes using Anglo-saxon
> bodily function words ;), at HOME with the FAMILY. What else, if
> want your kids to feel fully accepted?~~~~
>
> peace, HeidiC
>
>
>
> > > Don't sweat the language, and don't harp on it to him or you're
> likely to
> > > push him away from you over something pretty (IMO) a non-issue.
> > >
> >
> > Great advice.
> >
> > I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them.
>
>
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>
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>
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>august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
> regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
>
> ,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since
>Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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>
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,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/2003 12:23:40 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
tuckervill@... writes:
slang for body parts. He was IN STITCHES to hear these words come out of his
own mother's mouth! It was a riot. And he learned words he never even KNEW! <
G> It was a fun day.
~Kelly, potty-mouth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tuckervill@... writes:
> I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them. Not long ago IWhile driving somewhere far away one day, Cameron and I started discussing
> offered Will (9) a chance to go somewhere where no one could hear us, and
> scream out all the cuss words we could think of as many times as we wanted.
>
> He didn't take me up on it, because he was kind of shocked at the
> suggestion.
> He began to see them in a new light. We got to talk a lot about what words
>
> that are appropriate in a given situation. I told him he could get them
> all
> out any time he wanted, just to let me know and I'd clear a path for him.
> It
> seems like they hold a special fascination for kids around this age. They
> think about them and hear other people say them, and eventually they're
> using
> them when adults aren't around. It's like a dirty little secret. I say
> bring it out in the light of day, and let them taste the words and feel and
>
> hear them in their own voice Take all the sting out of them
slang for body parts. He was IN STITCHES to hear these words come out of his
own mother's mouth! It was a riot. And he learned words he never even KNEW! <
G> It was a fun day.
~Kelly, potty-mouth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
regina hogan
lol..thats strange that you mentioned the girl and pregnancy,,i also have a 16 year old girl who is due to have child in may the 16th,,lol,,and we have been very supportive of her and helped her out in way we can ,,putting the mark on it to hear that this is her child not mine so she has to make the choice i am only here to help her when she ask me to,,the boys family well,,loll,,big joke,,they are very upset and called my girl a slut,,well it did not go over to well with her or me,,but they will regret in the end when they do not have a relationship with the baby because they are to darn close minded to see its just life not the end of the world and i will be right here with her and the baby as always enjoying them both and watching her grow into a wonderful mom herself..
grlynbl@... wrote:In a message dated 4/29/03 5:38:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kbolden@... writes:
My best friend got pregnant in high school. I went with her to the Dr
when she found out she was pregnant We came back to my house and went in my
bedroom. My mom came and gently knocked on the door. I let her in and she
asked what was wrong. My friend ( and I , too) was crying. I didn't
hesitate for a minute.. I said.. "Dawn's going to have a baby" Moma teared
up too and she sat down on the bed and hugged Dawn, and said, "oh,
sweetheart, it's going to be OK". We all had a good cry, and Dawn asked Moma
if she would call in to her work to tell them she was sick. Mom did it.
That was it. No lecture to me, no warnings of "dont hang arond her" The
extent of Mom's input about the situation was to ask me how Dawn was doing
and to talk to me about how I felt about it and how it affected Dawn. Never
a passing of judgement or a waiver of trust in me. How wonderful
Dawn had a good mother too, but she was still scared to tell her she was
pregnant. She didnt tell her family til she was 4 months along, and by then,
her mom had figured it out herself. They didn't "punish" or "disown" her or
anything like that.. They supported her and helped her didn't demand that she
marry her boyfriend. But, her boyfriends parents said, ABORTION or
MARRIAGE! Thier son was not going to have a bastard child. So, they got
married and spent 10 years in a terrible marriage til they got divorced.
Well, I rambled as usual. sorry.. I can never keep it short
Teresa
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
---------------------------------
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The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
grlynbl@... wrote:In a message dated 4/29/03 5:38:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kbolden@... writes:
> Many of my friends were afraid of/disgusted with their parents. I never hadThis sounds so similar to my own childhood ( teens).
> those feelings. Even if we had a big, serious argument (which we did!),
> even if things *looked* bad, I knew my mother's faith in me could not be
> shaken.
>
> It was a great gift.
>
> Kay
>
My best friend got pregnant in high school. I went with her to the Dr
when she found out she was pregnant We came back to my house and went in my
bedroom. My mom came and gently knocked on the door. I let her in and she
asked what was wrong. My friend ( and I , too) was crying. I didn't
hesitate for a minute.. I said.. "Dawn's going to have a baby" Moma teared
up too and she sat down on the bed and hugged Dawn, and said, "oh,
sweetheart, it's going to be OK". We all had a good cry, and Dawn asked Moma
if she would call in to her work to tell them she was sick. Mom did it.
That was it. No lecture to me, no warnings of "dont hang arond her" The
extent of Mom's input about the situation was to ask me how Dawn was doing
and to talk to me about how I felt about it and how it affected Dawn. Never
a passing of judgement or a waiver of trust in me. How wonderful
Dawn had a good mother too, but she was still scared to tell her she was
pregnant. She didnt tell her family til she was 4 months along, and by then,
her mom had figured it out herself. They didn't "punish" or "disown" her or
anything like that.. They supported her and helped her didn't demand that she
marry her boyfriend. But, her boyfriends parents said, ABORTION or
MARRIAGE! Thier son was not going to have a bastard child. So, they got
married and spent 10 years in a terrible marriage til they got divorced.
Well, I rambled as usual. sorry.. I can never keep it short
Teresa
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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regina hogan
not a problem,,and thank you all for sharing your opions with me,,i have enjoyed them,,
coyote's corner <jana@...> wrote:me too.
I totally mis-understood. I apologize.
Janis
coyote's corner <jana@...> wrote:me too.
I totally mis-understood. I apologize.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 1:02 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] boys,drugs,and cussing!!long,,sorry
In a message dated 4/29/03 1:03:07 AM, red2mickey@... writes:
<<
(no!!!! i never said i yelled at him because i did not and do not yell at my
kids,,and again no he was not made to get involved in anything,its was him
that said moma he is lieing to her,will you take me to her house right now
and yet me get it and show it to her,,and that was due to the fact the boy
told his mom it was robert to start with and robert wonted to defend hisself
>>
Sorry I misunderstood.
Sandra
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
Oh my....
My son and his friends ARE having a potty mouth fest, and they do not limit it to themselves or our home.
They just get totally carried away. On the one hand, they are so daggone funny I couldn't get offended even if I wanted to. They really could do stand up comedy.
On the other hand, they are offending other people who are friends of mine.
Kristen
My son and his friends ARE having a potty mouth fest, and they do not limit it to themselves or our home.
They just get totally carried away. On the one hand, they are so daggone funny I couldn't get offended even if I wanted to. They really could do stand up comedy.
On the other hand, they are offending other people who are friends of mine.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 4:21 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: boys,drugs,and cussing!!long,,sorry
In a message dated 4/29/03 2:11:56 PM, red2mickey@... writes:
<< ,in my opion its a matter of what words your using and if you can hurt
other people by using them,therefore it comes down to which words you us,,, >>
We own lots of tools. Ten hammers. Lots of hoes and shovels and stuff.
My kids could hurt other people with them, but not one of them ever has.
We have a hatchet near the fireplace. One time Holly did pick it up and run
with it. But we didn't banish it from the house, we talked to her about
safety.
My kids have had free run of English, and there are words they know that they
have never spoken. There are words they know that they will use to quote
someone or use in the course of making a joke, but that they would no more
hurt another person with than they would take a shovel off the wall and hit
them in the head.
Banishing spinning wheels from the kingdom didn't save Sleeping Beauty.
Banishing "language" only makes the world smaller.
Sandra
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[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/03 8:53:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
red2mickey@... writes:
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
red2mickey@... writes:
> lol..thats strange that you mentioned the girl and pregnancy,,i also have aBest of luck with that situation. Kudos to you for supporting your daughter.
> 16 year old girl who is due to have child in may the 16th
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heidi
--- In [email protected], regina hogan
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
parents could be this way,would you not agree?
Yes I do. BTW, anything more on your son's friend?
HeidiC
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
> that sounds great that you have that opened up relationship withyour kids,same as i do mine,the world would be a better place if all
parents could be this way,would you not agree?
Yes I do. BTW, anything more on your son's friend?
HeidiC
regina hogan
thank you for the best wishes,,,i have been makeing her a website for her new baby ..lol..well me a website,its to announce my new and first grandbaby(i am a proud granda to be),,oh yes we did find out a few days ago the baby is a girl,,i so happy,,ashley thinks she will name her kandice elizabeth lakken gatlin,,a long name but so pretty i think..i will post the link to the first grandbaby page as soon as i finish it in case any one would like to visit it,,or us it to help others of young ladies having babies for moral supprot,,,,again thank you
grlynbl@... wrote:In a message dated 4/29/03 8:53:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
red2mickey@... writes:
Teresa
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
grlynbl@... wrote:In a message dated 4/29/03 8:53:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
red2mickey@... writes:
> lol..thats strange that you mentioned the girl and pregnancy,,i also have aBest of luck with that situation. Kudos to you for supporting your daughter.
> 16 year old girl who is due to have child in may the 16th
Teresa
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
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regina hogan
well not until this after noon,robert was on the phone talking when we were all in getting ready to go out for supper and he ask did we have room in the truck for his friend (manual)to come with us,,i said sure do we need to go get him or he coming to meet us here,,he said do not know let me find out and then came back laughing because the boys mom answered the phone when robert called to ask him and told robert not to call her house again,he was nothing but trouble,he said i do not care what she thinks and we started out the drive and manual came walking up the drive,he climbed in and said my moma said robert is no good and i can not be with him around my house but i can still come up here,,i just laughed and never said a work,,later down the road he said momagina,,i am sorry for yesturday day i said no problem manual ,we love you and you are welcome at our home any time but the drugs are not,,he said ok but can i tell you something i said sure he said i stole them from my moma,,i have never used them,,i said thats good to hear and it was left at that,,and its is 10:14 pm here where we live at and as i sit hear and right this he and robert are in my kitchen eating everything in there,,lol,,so the way i look at it as long as he is here he is not being abused by her,,and also i feel he will have a better chance at making good choices with hanging with my kids,,they are good kids,,they just made a mistake but do not we all some times.thank you for asking,,,
Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@...> wrote:--- In [email protected], regina hogan
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
parents could be this way,would you not agree?
Yes I do. BTW, anything more on your son's friend?
HeidiC
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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Heidi <bunsofaluminum60@...> wrote:--- In [email protected], regina hogan
<red2mickey@y...> wrote:
> that sounds great that you have that opened up relationship withyour kids,same as i do mine,the world would be a better place if all
parents could be this way,would you not agree?
Yes I do. BTW, anything more on your son's friend?
HeidiC
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
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Stephanie Elms
> I would also try to demystify cuss words, to devalue them.Funny story. A month or so ago Jason's best friend was over playing (they are both 6).
I heard him tell Jason about this "bad" word he had learned at school...shit. I was just
over in the kitchen and so I piped up and asked him if he knew what it meant. He said no
so I told him it meant poop. He seemed a little disappointed. ;o) Jason did not seem overly
interested either and I have yet to hear him use it.
Stephanie E.
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/03 9:18:42 PM, red2mickey@... writes:
<< he said ok but can i tell you something i said sure he said i stole them
from my moma,, >>
Oh, GOOD ONE!!!
No matter she doesn't want your kid around. He could be a witness against her.
Funny!
Sandra
<< he said ok but can i tell you something i said sure he said i stole them
from my moma,, >>
Oh, GOOD ONE!!!
No matter she doesn't want your kid around. He could be a witness against her.
Funny!
Sandra
regina hogan
this is true,,the boys have told us alot of crap this woman has done ,,i am glad they are here and not down there with her crazy butt now that i know alot more detaild about her personal life ..
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/29/03 9:18:42 PM, red2mickey@... writes:
<< he said ok but can i tell you something i said sure he said i stole them
from my moma,, >>
Oh, GOOD ONE!!!
No matter she doesn't want your kid around. He could be a witness against her.
Funny!
Sandra
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
---------------------------------
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The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 4/29/03 9:18:42 PM, red2mickey@... writes:
<< he said ok but can i tell you something i said sure he said i stole them
from my moma,, >>
Oh, GOOD ONE!!!
No matter she doesn't want your kid around. He could be a witness against her.
Funny!
Sandra
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
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regina hogan,=mother to,robert age14,timothy age13
,justin age 12,matthew age 10 ashley age 16,,,,,homeschooled since august 2002!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/red2mickey/countrysidehomeschool.html
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
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