Deschooling, was Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] family
Have a Nice Day!
Deschooling can last longer than a year. I think it depends on the child: how
long he was in school, how demanding school (and YOU!) were<<<<
Deschooling for us took about 5 months, but we had been unschooling on again off again prior to that, so I think there was some deschooling going on before then...maybe about 2 years. (Total school time would be 5 years plus 3 years of relaxed homeschooling).
(I know unschooling doesn't actually happen "on again off again", but what I mean is that I threw myself into it for a few months, then I'd get anxious about things and feel the need to "intervene").
The interventions would last anywhere from a few days to 2 months sometimes...always relaxed style, (like we'd do some math 2 days/week) but always driven by my own worry.
About 2-3 weeks ago, I had the itch to start "structuring" again, but decided I was not going to do it. I trust my kids and the learning process. I've watched my youngest who truly has been unschooling continuously, and I see what it has done for her. (she was lucky....I was too busy worrying about the older ones LOL).
I'm glad I didn't interfere, because a short time after my "itch", I noticed a big change:
Suddenly, my kids don't fight as much. They don't seem as anxious to go back to school, they rarely talk about it anymore. They suddenly content with life as it is here. THey seem to be thinking more about the world around them and what they'd like to accomplish.
They seem to be thinking about the world and their lives "as if school didn't exist" and they are happier people.
Its pretty amazing to watch this happen. Its definitely a turning point. Is it like this for everyone whose childern "deschool"? Do you see a definite "turning point" that you just "know" when the deschooling phase is ending?
Just curious.
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
long he was in school, how demanding school (and YOU!) were<<<<
Deschooling for us took about 5 months, but we had been unschooling on again off again prior to that, so I think there was some deschooling going on before then...maybe about 2 years. (Total school time would be 5 years plus 3 years of relaxed homeschooling).
(I know unschooling doesn't actually happen "on again off again", but what I mean is that I threw myself into it for a few months, then I'd get anxious about things and feel the need to "intervene").
The interventions would last anywhere from a few days to 2 months sometimes...always relaxed style, (like we'd do some math 2 days/week) but always driven by my own worry.
About 2-3 weeks ago, I had the itch to start "structuring" again, but decided I was not going to do it. I trust my kids and the learning process. I've watched my youngest who truly has been unschooling continuously, and I see what it has done for her. (she was lucky....I was too busy worrying about the older ones LOL).
I'm glad I didn't interfere, because a short time after my "itch", I noticed a big change:
Suddenly, my kids don't fight as much. They don't seem as anxious to go back to school, they rarely talk about it anymore. They suddenly content with life as it is here. THey seem to be thinking more about the world around them and what they'd like to accomplish.
They seem to be thinking about the world and their lives "as if school didn't exist" and they are happier people.
Its pretty amazing to watch this happen. Its definitely a turning point. Is it like this for everyone whose childern "deschool"? Do you see a definite "turning point" that you just "know" when the deschooling phase is ending?
Just curious.
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jmcseals SEALS
Deschooling, for us, took 4 years! And she was only in school for 2! Now,
I must add that we had a lot of schoolishness on my part - read that
foolishness - in wanting her to do this and that, learn this and that, read,
write, breathe this and that. I would go for months at a time, lounging,
loving and living and then suddenly my brain would backfire and urge me to
perform schoolishly.
I also suffered from severe curriculosis. I LOVED buying curriculum. We
tried them all. Not many are worked through past week one. Our true
deschooling happened when I spent nearly $1,000 on used OM stuff. It
suddenly hit me that *I* hate being told what to do, how to do it, where to
do it, why to do it, when to do it, so I packed it up in a box and threw it
in the garage. I'm certain we must have highly intelligent mice by now! ;)
Though at times I wonder if the answer isn't right there. In the mice...or
any other species bright enough to figure out that it doesn't take a manual
to learn about life; how to be successful in it and enjoy it thouroughly.
(Can ya tell I'm reading Ishmael?? <g>)
My kids needed for *ME* to deschool so they could! It was ME holding them
back. ME pushing them to keep up with the schoolies. ME doubting THEM!
It's a pretty guilt-ridden Ah-HAH to go through.
I am so stoked about going to the SC conference. Finally, a place to be
known, understood, accepted. A place my husband, should he choose to come,
can see for himself that children CAN be free of the Joneses and still turn
out to be respectable individuals, able to learn and live on their own
terms, in their own time and still be able to function outside the
proverbial HOMSKOOL-white-trash-trailer. THIS, my friends, is a HUGE
misconception here and we have a large homeschooling community. As an
unschooler, it gets even worse!
I am making progress with him though, my husband that is. We agreed to sell
all the curriculum to pay for the trip!! My deschooling process is not
over. I doubt it ever will be. I have a lifetime of programs to debug.
Programs my family, friends, neighbors and the media spit in my face daily.
I suppose I could hole myself away in the bush of Alaska and be free, but I
have to figure out how to find my husband a job there first!
Jennifer
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I must add that we had a lot of schoolishness on my part - read that
foolishness - in wanting her to do this and that, learn this and that, read,
write, breathe this and that. I would go for months at a time, lounging,
loving and living and then suddenly my brain would backfire and urge me to
perform schoolishly.
I also suffered from severe curriculosis. I LOVED buying curriculum. We
tried them all. Not many are worked through past week one. Our true
deschooling happened when I spent nearly $1,000 on used OM stuff. It
suddenly hit me that *I* hate being told what to do, how to do it, where to
do it, why to do it, when to do it, so I packed it up in a box and threw it
in the garage. I'm certain we must have highly intelligent mice by now! ;)
Though at times I wonder if the answer isn't right there. In the mice...or
any other species bright enough to figure out that it doesn't take a manual
to learn about life; how to be successful in it and enjoy it thouroughly.
(Can ya tell I'm reading Ishmael?? <g>)
My kids needed for *ME* to deschool so they could! It was ME holding them
back. ME pushing them to keep up with the schoolies. ME doubting THEM!
It's a pretty guilt-ridden Ah-HAH to go through.
I am so stoked about going to the SC conference. Finally, a place to be
known, understood, accepted. A place my husband, should he choose to come,
can see for himself that children CAN be free of the Joneses and still turn
out to be respectable individuals, able to learn and live on their own
terms, in their own time and still be able to function outside the
proverbial HOMSKOOL-white-trash-trailer. THIS, my friends, is a HUGE
misconception here and we have a large homeschooling community. As an
unschooler, it gets even worse!
I am making progress with him though, my husband that is. We agreed to sell
all the curriculum to pay for the trip!! My deschooling process is not
over. I doubt it ever will be. I have a lifetime of programs to debug.
Programs my family, friends, neighbors and the media spit in my face daily.
I suppose I could hole myself away in the bush of Alaska and be free, but I
have to figure out how to find my husband a job there first!
Jennifer
_________________________________________________________________
Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy
**My kids needed for *ME* to deschool so they could! It was ME holding
them
back. ME pushing them to keep up with the schoolies. ME doubting THEM!
It's a pretty guilt-ridden Ah-HAH to go through.**
Hi, Jennifer -
It's really valuable that you shared it, though. Thanks!
Betsy
them
back. ME pushing them to keep up with the schoolies. ME doubting THEM!
It's a pretty guilt-ridden Ah-HAH to go through.**
Hi, Jennifer -
It's really valuable that you shared it, though. Thanks!
Betsy
Tim and Maureen
----- Original Message -----
From: Have a Nice Day!
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, April 27, 2003 10:32 AM
Subject: Deschooling, was Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] family
Deschooling can last longer than a year. I think it depends on the child: how
long he was in school, how demanding school (and YOU!) were<<<<
Deschooling for us took about 5 months, but we had been unschooling on again off again prior to that, so I think there was some deschooling going on before then...maybe about 2 years. (Total school time would be 5 years plus 3 years of relaxed homeschooling).
(I know unschooling doesn't actually happen "on again off again", but what I mean is that I threw myself into it for a few months, then I'd get anxious about things and feel the need to "intervene").
The interventions would last anywhere from a few days to 2 months sometimes...always relaxed style, (like we'd do some math 2 days/week) but always driven by my own worry.
About 2-3 weeks ago, I had the itch to start "structuring" again, but decided I was not going to do it. I trust my kids and the learning process. I've watched my youngest who truly has been unschooling continuously, and I see what it has done for her. (she was lucky....I was too busy worrying about the older ones LOL).
I'm glad I didn't interfere, because a short time after my "itch", I noticed a big change:
Suddenly, my kids don't fight as much. They don't seem as anxious to go back to school, they rarely talk about it anymore. They suddenly content with life as it is here. THey seem to be thinking more about the world around them and what they'd like to accomplish.
They seem to be thinking about the world and their lives "as if school didn't exist" and they are happier people.
Its pretty amazing to watch this happen. Its definitely a turning point. Is it like this for everyone whose childern "deschool"? Do you see a definite "turning point" that you just "know" when the deschooling phase is ending?
Just curious.
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
i am still going threw the process myself. my ex husband is greatly oppessed
to homeschooling in general and i feel like i have to prove something to him.
this is our first complete year unschooling and i'm a little nervous being
that i have to give her a standerized test every year( which i am so against
but its the law!). hopfully i will become more confident as we go along.
tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to homeschooling in general and i feel like i have to prove something to him.
this is our first complete year unschooling and i'm a little nervous being
that i have to give her a standerized test every year( which i am so against
but its the law!). hopfully i will become more confident as we go along.
tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christina Morrissey
Geez, Kristen.... Thanks soooo much for this posting!!
It describes so well the "deschooling process" that we have been going
through as well. The stops and starts, by me and the kids, the structuring
binges and so on. It sounds like this may be more the "rule than the
exception" for most. It would have helped me to see a quote like this in
one of the homeschooling books that I desperately read and scanned those
first years, trying to "normalize" as much as possible (!!) our fledgling
steps.
Anyway, back to your question....Yes, I too have just begun noticing the
same effects as you. My kids are not fighting as much...in fact they are
and have been communicating more with each other (they are 14 and 10, boy
and girl!!), helping each other and in fact, playing and learning
together. It is an amazing thing to see, especially considering that only
3-4 years ago, before meds, one was trying to kill the other. The
emotional effects remain in the youngest (PTSD) but the relatively
stress-free surroundings of home have helped heal some of those wounds, so
that they now can learn again and be with each other. It is truly, for me,
a wondering, unschooling moment. (Thanks to you all.)
They are also starting to do the "interested in learning things stuff",
picking things up on their own to do and pursuing it. Really neat to see
in action what I have been reading about for SO LONG!!!
My only real problem is my daughter's lack of sufficient available
friends. This is a child who is and has been only happy having someone to
play with 24 hours a day( I am not exaggerating). This has been and still
is her preferred activity of all. Difficult in a neighborhood where every
child has homework everyday. Even other homeschool friends at best,
require playdates, driving long distances, and are busy doing other things
on a regular basis. She is getting better about occupying herself. But
she is not a loner, and it is a continual struggle dealing with her social
life, her self-perception as being so "different" from everyone else she
knows. I've been arranging playdates for her since she was 2. I hoped it
would end once she was of school age....WRONG!!! Oh well...what's life
without challenges!!! (LOL)
Christina in Seattle
It describes so well the "deschooling process" that we have been going
through as well. The stops and starts, by me and the kids, the structuring
binges and so on. It sounds like this may be more the "rule than the
exception" for most. It would have helped me to see a quote like this in
one of the homeschooling books that I desperately read and scanned those
first years, trying to "normalize" as much as possible (!!) our fledgling
steps.
Anyway, back to your question....Yes, I too have just begun noticing the
same effects as you. My kids are not fighting as much...in fact they are
and have been communicating more with each other (they are 14 and 10, boy
and girl!!), helping each other and in fact, playing and learning
together. It is an amazing thing to see, especially considering that only
3-4 years ago, before meds, one was trying to kill the other. The
emotional effects remain in the youngest (PTSD) but the relatively
stress-free surroundings of home have helped heal some of those wounds, so
that they now can learn again and be with each other. It is truly, for me,
a wondering, unschooling moment. (Thanks to you all.)
They are also starting to do the "interested in learning things stuff",
picking things up on their own to do and pursuing it. Really neat to see
in action what I have been reading about for SO LONG!!!
My only real problem is my daughter's lack of sufficient available
friends. This is a child who is and has been only happy having someone to
play with 24 hours a day( I am not exaggerating). This has been and still
is her preferred activity of all. Difficult in a neighborhood where every
child has homework everyday. Even other homeschool friends at best,
require playdates, driving long distances, and are busy doing other things
on a regular basis. She is getting better about occupying herself. But
she is not a loner, and it is a continual struggle dealing with her social
life, her self-perception as being so "different" from everyone else she
knows. I've been arranging playdates for her since she was 2. I hoped it
would end once she was of school age....WRONG!!! Oh well...what's life
without challenges!!! (LOL)
Christina in Seattle
><<Suddenly, my kids don't fight as much. They don't seem as anxious to go[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>back to school, they rarely talk about it anymore. They suddenly content
>with life as it is here. THey seem to be thinking more about the world
>around them and what they'd like to accomplish.
>
>They seem to be thinking about the world and their lives "as if school
>didn't exist" and they are happier people.
>
>Its pretty amazing to watch this happen. Its definitely a turning
>point. Is it like this for everyone whose childern "deschool"? Do you
>see a definite "turning point" that you just "know" when the deschooling
>phase is ending?
>
>Just curious.
>
>Kristen>>
>
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
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