Ann

A bit overwhelmed by the volume, but loving it here!

The snip below (I think I'm up to Wednesday's messages now) is what I'm
reasponding/reacting to at the moment. We have a lot of "you're stuck
with us" and "yes I am your real mom, although I'm not your birth mom"
moments. Puberty is coming on strong, and dh & I are both having
significant health things at the moment... Change - and potential
change - can be hard for some of us to live with.

Youngest, and only still at home, child is the only one of our 4 who's
never gone to school. She's 10 now. Her middle sibs left the system @
middle school, the oldest went all the way through (OT/brushing helped
him!). Oh, she did go to a 'therapeutic' preschool part time for a
while, I went with her at first -- the goal there was to help her
learn/experience that I interacted with her differently than the
teachers did, and that I also interacted with her differently than I did
with the other kids. Eventually I started leaving her there (at first
just going to another room for a few minutes), so she could grow an
understanding that I could be out of sight and she could know where was,
and that I would come back. <sigh> She joined us before she was 2, we
don't know a lot about her time before that but we were at least family
#6 for her.

What an adventure life is! Thanks, everyone!

Ann

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He tested us unbelievably,...my husband
(ex-marine) finally looked him straight in his eyes, after a major
meltdown
on son's part, and said, "get it all out, give us all you've got, but
you're
not going anywhere. You're stuck with us."


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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In a message dated 4/19/03 10:20:12 AM, anns@... writes:

<< He tested us unbelievably,...my husband
(ex-marine) finally looked him straight in his eyes, after a major
meltdown
on son's part, and said, "get it all out, give us all you've got, but
you're
not going anywhere. You're stuck with us."
>>

I missed the original of this, but wanted to point out just on principle that
kids are NOT stuck. They can run or they can kill themselves. I've known
kids who've done both. Trapping and holding them too hard isn't guaranteed
to raise them to adulthood.

Sandra

Tia Leschke

> << He tested us unbelievably,...my husband
> (ex-marine) finally looked him straight in his eyes, after a major
> meltdown
> on son's part, and said, "get it all out, give us all you've got, but
> you're
> not going anywhere. You're stuck with us."
> >>
>
> I missed the original of this, but wanted to point out just on principle
that
> kids are NOT stuck. They can run or they can kill themselves. I've known
> kids who've done both. Trapping and holding them too hard isn't
guaranteed
> to raise them to adulthood.

Yeah, you missed that this was a kid who had had many family placements and
was testing to see if he was going to be sent away yet again. I thought
that was a wonderful way to reassure him.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...